Chapter Text
“Lena, Come on, sweetheart. School starts soon.” Jack had pleaded for the fifth time this morning. He could hear his voice ring louder than he intended, Trying so hard to stay patient with her, as he padded down the hallway, arms folded.
It had been three weeks since he had got the call. He had been halfway through a double shift when his phone had rang, An unknown California number flashing across the screen.
He had almost ignored it. Maybe he should have ignored it. But something in his gut had twisted, as he stepped into the supply closet, closing the door shut behind him.
“Jack Abbot?”
”Yes?”
”This is Child Protective Services. We’re calling about a -“ The voice paused, unsure. “Lena Blackwell?” She asked as though she was reading off of the file for the first time.
“You’re listed as her next of kin.”
Jack’s face had contorted, confused. Blackwell. No, it couldn’t be. He had long escaped that name.
”I- I don’t know who that is.”
The voice had paused again, as paper bean to rustle, her voice softening as she read.
”Daughter of Barry and Catherine Blackwell?”
Jack gripped the shelf behind him, his knuckles growing white. He hadn’t heard those names in years. He hadn’t let himself think about Oceanside, or the Codys, or the life he'd run from the second he turned eighteen.
College had been his escape route. His lifeline. And he had taken that lifeline without looking back.
Jack had always hated Baz. He was cruel to him, harsh and bullying.
But Cath. God. How he had loved Cath.
“You’re her only listed relative-“ The voice continued, “We need to know if you’re willing to take custody.”
”Why? What happened to-“
”They died, sir.”
Jack didn’t even blink. He stood there, unwavering as his mouth went dry.
He had never met her. He never planned for this.
He didnt want to be dragged back into the Cody orbit. He had got himself away from that. Far away. The second he could.
Had he not earned his peace? Had he not earned the right to his own life, away from them and their toxic love?
Jack had imagined a lot of things, but he had not imagined this.
Lena Blackwall was small. Too small. Too quiet. Too watchful.
When Jack had first saw her, sitting in that CPS office, her legs fell limply under her, not swinging like a child's would, her braided hair, tangled, her eyes hallow, his breath caught in his throat and he felt the air leave his lungs.
She looked just like Cath. That much he had expected. The same dark skin. The same thick lashes. The same thin face, the same haunted expression he had seen on Cath after one of Smurf’s tirades.
But what he hadn’t expected, is how much she looked like twin brother. How much she looked like Pope.
Jack knew Pope had always loved Cath. He knew they had always had an estranged sort of love affair, twisted and strange. But looking at her face, there was not a shadow of doubt in his mind. This was Popes kid.
He crouched down, slowly, his hands trembling.
“Lena?” He whispered, his voice hoarse with fear.
She didn’t answer him. She just sat, her back pressed firmly against the back of the seat, rigid and unmoving. Assessing him, the way Pope used to watch doorways.
Jack’s chest ached.
He had spent his whole life trying to be nothing like his brothers. Trying to outrun the bloodline that had swallowed everyone it touched. He had ran. Changed his name. Joined the army.
But fate taunted him, handing him a child who wore that very bloodline on her face. Willing him to take her. To save her.
And so he did.
The panic never left. For weeks, Lena barley ate, barley slept.
Jack tried everything. He tried the routines, the gentle communication, the quiet companionship, but nothing worked.
He was failing her. Every day she would refuse to go to school, every night that she would wake up screaming for her mom.
He was drowning.
Jack Abbot slammed through the staff entrance of the Pitt so hard he heard the door rattle on its hinges.
He was late. He was never late.
His badge barley scanned because his hands were shaking, and he muttered something sharp under his breath as he shoved it against the reader again. The machine mercifully beeped. Finally.
He stormed down the hallway, his jaw clenched, his eyes burning with a kind of anger that only came from pure exhastion.
Three hours. Three hours he had spent trying to get Lena out the door. Three hours of coaxing, pleading, bargaining and begging.
She had just sat there, small and terrified, every whisper of “Don't make me go-” had made Jack’s heart break.
He had tried everything. Tried and failed at everything.
Now he was late for the day shift. The one he had swapped to to match her school schedule.
He rounded the corner and slammed straight into someone.
Robby grabbed his arms to steady him.
”Woah- Jack!”
Jack jerked back, his breath ragged.
”Not now.” His voice was sharp and full of venom.
Robby’s brows shot up.
“Excuse me?”
Jack had tried to push past him, but Robby stepped directly in front of him, blocking him with that infuriating mix of gentleness and stubbornness that he always held in his person.
”Jack.” Robby said, his voice low and concerned, “What is your problem brother?”
Robby was always the one to call him out. Robby saw him. He always did. He should have known he was going to have this confrontation sooner or later.
Jack’s chest heaved, His hands bawled into protective fists at his sides, crushing the metal can resting in his left hand.
”I’m fine.” He snapped. His voice angry and spiteful.
”You’re not.” Robby said, almost too quickly. Like he had been waiting for weeks to spit this out. “Youre late. You look like you haven’t slept in days. You just bit my head off for saying hello.”
Jack blinked, looking away.
“Talk to me.” He murmured, his voice gentle, “What happened?”
Jack swallowed, an internal battle raging inside his head. Robby’s gentleness was almost enough to make him fold. Almost.
”Nothing.” Jack’s nostrils flared and he tried to pull away, but Robby held on, his grip tightening on his arm.
”Your’e a terrible liar, you know that right?” He responded.
Jack let out a harsh exhale, that was almost a laugh.
“Jack. Cut the shit. Talk to me.”
Jack looked away again, his shoulders shaking with the effort of keeping himself together.
”I couldn’t get her to go.” He admitted, his voice quiet and small.
”Who?”
”Lena.”
”Jack you're gonna have to give me more than that…”
”My neice.” He began. “I spent the whole morning trying to get her to go to school. Three hours.” His voice cracked as his confession spilled off his tongue. “Three hours Robby. She was terrified. She kept saying she didnt want to go. That she couldn’t. And I-“ his voice broke.
“Jack, Jack. Slow.” Robby’s expression changed instantly. Confusion, and then concern, then into something gentler.
“Your neice?” He asked, slowly. “Jack. Why is your neice staying with you?”
Jack froze, realising the magnitude of what he had just said.
But Robby continued, pressing further, his eyes scanning his weathered face.
”You never mentioned a neice. You never mentioned family. And now youre telling me Youre looking after a what-?”
”Shes seven.”
”-Youre looking after a seven year old?” He continued, his voice rising in something… Anger maybe? Confusion? Hurt?
“And you're doing it by yourself?” His question was razor sharp and relentless.
Jack nodded, his voice cracking.
“She needed somewhere to go.” His voice was feeble. Small. Not like the attending who commanded respect every time he walked into the room. Not like the man who had spent his life in combat.
Robby let out a slow breath. “Jack.” His voice was almost disappointed. “You should have told me. I would have helped.”
Jack’s throat tightened, and he felt a tug of guilt in his chest.
He knew. He knew he should have told him. Robby would have been right there with him. Right there to help in any way Jack needed. He knew that. But something… something made Jack feel like he needed to do this himself.
“Why didn't you tell me?”
“Because I should be able to do this. I cant even get a seven year old to walk out the door. Because I’m supposed to be able to handle this. I’m her guardian and I’m just screwing it up-“ he felt tears threaten to drop in his eyes, as they welled up before he could fight against it.
Robby’s face softened. The disappointment melting from his face, replaced with a softness that made Jack’s chest ache.
“Look at me.” His voice wasn’t loud or angry. But somehow it cut straight through every wall that Jack had.
So he did. And Robby saw everything. The exhastion. The fear. The guilt. The panic. The way Jack was holding himself together with sheer force of will. And apparently Caffeine based on the can shaking in his hand.
“Why is she with you?” He asked slowly.
Jack’s throat closed. He looked away again, his jaw tight, his shoulders rigid.
“Jack.”
Nothing.
”Jack!”
Still nothing.
“Okay.” He exhaled, long and soft. “You don’t want to tell me why she’s with you? Fine. Not right now.”
Jack blinked, surprised as two tears leaked from his burning eyes as he did so, carving paths in his wrinkles.
”But-“ Robby continued, “I’m meeting her.”
Jack froze. He hadn’t expected that.
“What?”
”I’m meeting her.” Robby repeated, firmer this time. “Today.”
Jack shook his head, “No. No. Michael. No. She doesn’t do well with new people. She doesn’t talk to me. Shes scared of everything. I cant-“
”Jack.” He cut in, “Youre drowning. Let me help. I’m not going to take over, I just want… to meet her. To understand.”
Jack’s eyes turned, and Robby held his gaze.
“Youre not alone. Not Unless your choose to be.”
”She wont talk to you-” Jack protested
”I don't care. I’ll sit with her. Ill sit on the floor. I’ll drawn. I’ll talk about nothing. I’ll let her ignore me. Hit me. Just anything, to let her know she’s safe. She’s got someone else in her corner.”
Jack’s breath stuttered as Robby squeezed his arm. It was kind, and firm. He could feel Robby’s warm breath wash against his skin. = Heat radiating off of the two men.
“Let me meet her. Let me help you.”
And that, is exactly how Jack found himself standing in his own living room, watching Lena Blackwell, the girl who hadn’t spoken to anyone barring him, in three weeks, sat cross legged on the linoleum floor, in front of Michael Robinavitch.
It didnt make sense. None of this made sense.
Robby had sat on the floor, not the couch. Sitting there, his knees bent, his hands loose in his lap, like he had all the time in he world.
She had watched him from behind her blanket, her eyes wide. Afraid. Not hiding, or shutting down. Just… watching.
Robby had smiled gently at her, his voice soft and sweet as he introduced himself.
“Hi Lena. I’m Robby.”
She hadn’t responded, just stared into his brown eyes.
Robby had pointed to the blanket, wrapped tightly around her shoulders.
“That looks really soft and comfy. Green is my favourite colour.” He had said simply.
Lena’s fingers coiled around the blanket.
And they just sat there, Robby chatting about nothing in particular, Lena staying silent. He didn’t try to charm her. He didn’t try to Win her over. He didn’t even push. He just rallied off details about his day, as if she was another colleague.
“-And then, Lena! Guess what he said to me?” Pausing gently, but not expecting an answer.
“He told me, and I quote! ‘Robby, If you keep stealing my pens, I’m gonna glue them to your forehead.’ Glue them! To my forehead!” He said, his eyes wide and incredulous, as he tapped his forehead for emphasis.
Lena shifted lightly forward, a small smile threatening to creep across her face.
“And you wont believe what he said next, Lena girl.”
Robby leaned in conspiratorially,
”He said, ‘Robby, You’re lucky you are pretty, because you’re useless.’ Can you believe that? Useless! I’ll have you know I saved 14 patients today. I’m practically a hero!”
Lena crawled slightly closer to Robby, amusement fluttering across her face.
Jack felt his chest warm.
Robby kept going, animated and ridiculous.
“And then! Dr Whitaker tripped over his own shoelaces. And he tried to blame me!”
Robby gasped dramatically, pointing at himself. Mock-offence sprayed across his face.
”Me! As if I have telekinetic shoe-lace powers!”
This parade continued for almost twenty minutes. Robby just listing off anything and everything he could think of, just trying to fill the silence.
“Do you like your teacher at school, Lena girl? Or is she more of a Dr Ogilvie type. Ogilvie is annoying. I can’t stand him-“
”Hey. He’s not all that bad!” Jack interjected,
”He really is-“ Robby laughed back.
”Okay, wait. Serious question Lena.” Robby said, turning enthusiastically to the girl, who was sat, a large smile plastered on her face. She still hadn’t spoken, but Robby continued anyway.
“What’s the best part of school? Is it lunch? Recess? Art? Definitely not maths. Maths is evil.”
Lena whispered back, her voice barely audible.
“Art.”
Jack’s breath caught. Lurching forward ready to literally kiss Robby for getting her to open up.
But Robby didn’t react. He didn’t want to scare her. He just nodded, warm and steady.
“Art is the best,” he agreed. “I used to draw all the time when I was little. My grandma said it made the house feel less quiet.”
Jack’s eyes softened. He knew that story. He knew Robby had been abandoned young, raised by his grandmother, left to figure out the world alone.
But Robby didn’t say any of that to Lena. He just gave her the safe parts.
“What do you like to draw?” he asked gently.
Lena hesitated then whispered gently, “Animals.”
”No way. Me too!”
They both chatted for hours, about school. About drama at the Pitt. Even about Pudding cups.
”Friends are weird. Sometimes they steal your pudding cups.”
Lena gasped, “Someone stole your pudding cup?”
”Yes. Santos did. It was a tragedy. I almost cried.”
“None of my friends would steal my pudding cup.” She mumbled.
“Well thats great, lena!”
“Well they don’t sit with me at lunch.” She said quietly her head dipped.
Jack felt anger flush across his face, but Robby shook his head, stopping him in his tracks.
”Thats tough, Lena. I’m sorry.”
Robby lowered his voice.
“Do you want to tell me what makes school hard?”
Lena looked toward Jack, as if looking for permission.
Jack held his breath, but smiled at her, nodding.
“Too loud.”
Robby nodded immediately. “Yeah. Loud is hard.”
She peeked up at him.
“Do you… do you find loud hard?”
Robby nodded his head gently.
“Yes, sweetheart. I like quiet.”
Lena stared at him like she’d just found someone who understood something she’d never been able to explain.
Jack’s heart twisted.
Robby smiled softly.
“You can be quiet with me,” he said. “Quiet is okay.”
They had continued throughout the evening, even all throughout a sort of dinner, where Robby had sat there, eating mac and cheese as they talked. She ate more then, than Jack thinks she has eaten in weeks
They kept going until Lena’s blinks grew steadier, and longer. Until she was rubbing her eyes with her tiny fists.
”Hey, sweetheart. Are you getting sleepy?”
She nodded and Jack had stood up, offering his hand out to her.
”Come on, bug. Bedtime.”
She had taken his hand, and followed him partly out of the room before turning around and facing Robby.
”Will you come too?”
Robby blinked, stunned.
Jack had nodded, “Sure baby bug. He can help me tuck you in.”
Robby had let a smile swim across his face, “Of course I can, sweetheart.”
The three of them had made their way down toward her bedroom. The bedroom that Jack had spent so long trying to perfect.
He had taken her to IKEA the day after she had arrived.
Regrettably a bad decision, because Lena had lasted ten minutes before she was gripping onto his sleeve like it was the only thing keeping her afloat.
The store had been loud. Too loud.
Kids crying. Trolleys rattling. Announcements blaring overhead.
Her breathing went fast and shallow, her hands clenching tighter around Jack’s sleeve.
“Hey, hey,” Jack whispered, crouching down. “Bug, look at me.”
She shook her head, eyes wide, overwhelmed.
Jack felt panic rise in his own chest. The familiar tightness, the urge to fix everything immediately, but he forced himself to breathe.
Slow. Steady. In through his nose, out through his mouth.
He’d learned this. He’d practiced it. He needed to regulate himself before he could help her.
“Okay,” he murmured, voice softening. “We’re gonna find somewhere quiet.”
He guided her to a corner near the rugs, away from the noise. He sat with her on the floor, letting her hide her face in his shoulder.
“It’s okay,” he whispered. “You’re safe. I’m right here.”
It had taken ten minutes for her breathing to stop. Another five for her tears to cease, and her shoulders didn’t relax until they were safely out of the store and in the car, without any items except the stuffed shark stuffy that she had clung onto the entire time.
Jack had ordered the rest online as soon as he was home.
The room was soft. The walls were a yellow, fairy lights strung across the room. A pink butterfly rug took up most of the floor space, and her bed was constructed in the corner, the whale stuffy laid cleanly on the pillow.
Jack hadn’t needed to show her how to keep things tidy, she had made her bed every morning, neatly. A habit, no doubt instilled in her by Pope.
They had tucked Lena into bed, and she was fading fast. Jack was knelt beside the frame, stroking her hair, tucking the green blanket around her body.
Lena looked between them both, her eyes bleary and heavy.
”Will you stay?”
Jack smiled, “We’re right here. Bug.”
Robby nodded. “I’m not going anywhere until you’re asleep.”
She relaxed, whale tucked under her chin.
Jack brushed her hair back.
“You okay?”
She nodded… then reached out and grabbed his sleeve.
“Jack?”
Jack leaned closer.
“Yeah, Lena bug?”
Her voice was tiny. “I… I love you.”
His breath caught in his throat.
He hadn’t heard those words from her. Not even close.
“Oh, bug,” he whispered, voice cracking. “I love you too. So much.”
Then she turned her head toward Robby.
“Thank you,” she murmured.
Robby blinked, startled.
“For what, sweetheart?”
“For… talking to me.”
Robby’s expression softened into something Jack had only seen in their own conversations. Something warm and protective and almost fragile.
“You don’t have to thank me,” he said gently. “I like talking to you.”
Lena nodded, satisfied, and curled into her pillow.
Within moments, her breathing slowed, and she drifted off to sleep.