Work Text:
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“Naim.”
Naim groaned into the pillow as a response and reached behind him, patting the space where Ryan should be until he made contact with Ryan’s arm. “Hmm?”
He blinked into awareness and stared at the harsh moonlight peeking through their ugly curtains that he hated, but Ryan seemed to love.
Ryan squeezed his arm and rested his head on Naim’s shoulder. “Are you awake?” He whispered into his hair, pressing a small kiss to the other boy’s temple. “I have something I want to tell you.”
Naim hummed once more and shifted so he could face him, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness so he could make out Ryan’s beautiful face without having to squint at him like an idiot.
His hair was messed up from sleep and his eyes were slightly dazed, like Naim’s own. It looked like Ryan just woke himself up just to talk to him, which seemed like a common occurrence. They couldn’t go anywhere without each other anymore, they even had to wake each other up to go to the bathroom together.
They couldn’t be apart without one of them being scared out of their mind the entire time.
“If you’re about to tell me you need to piss I’m going to tell you to fuck off, alright?”
Ryan gave him a soft smile and cupped Naim’s face, patting his cheek lightly. “I love you.”
“Huh?”
“I love you, Naim.”
If he wasn’t awake before, he was now. He sat upright in the bed and Ryan copied his exact movements, still holding onto him. The touch kept him grounded in reality and told Naim that he didn’t just dream up the words that came out of Ryan’s mouth. “Did you just say what I thought you said or am I still asleep?”
“Do you want me to pinch you?”
Naim giggled and rested his head on his shoulder and Ryan’s hands came up to tangle in his hair. “I love you too.” He said. The words came out slightly muffled, but it got the point across.
They never said the words out loud before, they were both still coming out of their shells and getting used to the fact they could say stuff like this now, without fear of somebody overhearing. They could even hold hands on the street without weird looks being thrown their way, or in Ryan’s case, frogs being thrown at them.
“I know you love me Naim.”
He smiled into Ryan’s shoulder and hummed at the nails untangling the knots forming in his hair. He was trying to grow it out to hide the bald spot of hair that wouldn’t grow back since Not-Ryan pulled it out.
Ryan squeezed him closer to his chest and Naim went, wrapping his arms around Ryan’s midsection. The arms harshly tightened around him and made his ribs ache. Naim coughed slightly, adjusting his grip on Ryan. “Alright. You can let go now, you fucking idiot. I want to sleep.”
The arms didn’t move.
“Ryan,” He said, “I’m serious. Let go. I’m tired.”
Ryan did not respond and Naim’s heart started to beat faster. He clenched his jaw and slowly tried reaching for the lighter he kept on his nightstand. Ryan pulled him back quickly and looked into his eyes. They were Ryan’s eyes, but they were wild and slightly cold, unlike Ryan’s soft gaze of adoration he came to understand.
The arms fell around his neck quicker than Naim could yell for Ryan to come back. He clawed at them, leaving scratches in his wake. Not-Ryan continued to stare down at him, almost like he was enjoying watching Naim flail in his grasp, like a fish out of water.
“Ryan!” The words came out harshly as he coughed around the grip. His eyes were slowly being filled with tears and his vision was blurred because of it. He kicked Not-Ryan as hard as he could but he didn’t seem to even be fazed by it.
Naim made a final, desperate attempt to reach for his lighter and almost yelled in relief when his fingers made contact with it.
The first stop him and Ryan made after the bus was some seedy petrol station to buy a pack of lighters. They were stashed in every room in the flat, including two in the bathroom.
He flicked it open and shoved it in the entity’s face as hard as he could. The arms around his neck immediately slackened and a howl made its way out of Not-Ryan’s mouth, he shoved himself back into the corner of the room.
Naim panted and held the lighter out, keeping the entity stuck in his corner. “Ryan!”
When he looked back at the corner, the entity was gone. Vanished into thin air as the bedroom door slammed open. “Naim!”
Ryan, the real Ryan, stood in the doorway, looking disheveled and worried. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Where were you!” Naim yelled, “It was here! It was right here! Where the hell did you go?!”
“Shit,” Ryan panted and ran a hand through his hair, “Shit Naim, are you okay?”
Naim shook his head and rubbed at the bruises forming at his throat. Ryan made his way inside of their bedroom and sat next to him, the springs creaked in protest at the movement. “How bad is it?” He said softly. He reached up to cradle Naim’s face and held it like it was the most precious thing in the world to him.
And it was.
He thumbed at the bruises on Naim’s neck and frowned slightly. “I’m sorry. You haven’t slept well since we left and I just…you looked so peaceful.”
“Don’t do it again…”
Naim’s eyes welled with tears and he collapsed forward into Ryan’s arms, burying his face into his neck and breathing in the scent of him. Ryan nodded and held onto him, much like the entity had only moments before.
But Naim knew he was safe in his arms, nothing could get to him here. And if he had to handcuff himself to Ryan to stay that way, he’d do it.
And he knew Ryan would go willingly.
—
Ryan was on the closing shift today.
He hated the stupid job. The hours were rough and it left him tired to his bones, but they allowed him and Naim to work together on most shifts.
Working the closing shift reminded him of Hunter, Naim had told him once how it happened. How he was dragged away by some unseen force wearing Ryan’s own face.
It was a guilt he couldn’t shake. Hunter wasn’t like them, he died thinking that the thing was actually Ryan, and that Ryan wanted to kill him.
And Ryan didn’t even have the decency to be haunted by a thing wearing Hunter’s face. No, it was Naim.
It was always Naim.
He groaned into his hands and slammed the break room door behind him with his foot, he heard the lock click into place as he collapsed into the ratty sofa shoved into the corner of the room.
He really needed a smoke.
He heard Naim’s keys in the door not even a second later. He knew the sound of them by now, he liked collecting keychains, clips and anything else he could get his hands on and stuffing them onto his keyring.
They would jingle in Naim’s pockets with every step he would take, like his own personal bell.
Naim pushed the door open and shot Ryan a small smile as he made his way over to the sofa and collapsed next to him, brushing his shoulder with his as he did so.
The sofa creaked as he sat down and he made a small hissing noise as his back made contact with the exposed spring still peeking out of the fabric that the boss was yet to fix.
“Missed you.” Naim whispered into the air, he reached out his hand and interlocked their fingers together, giving them a slight squeeze. Ryan smiled as he rubbed his thumb back and forth on Naim’s hand.
“I was gone for two seconds max.”
“Yeah. And the minute you closed the door it was outside.”
Ryan sighed in response and leaned back against the sofa. He didn’t want to look Naim in the eyes, he knew if he did, he would fold immediately. There was something about Naim’s gaze that undid every wall Ryan put up to protect himself since he was twelve years old.
“It can’t get in, the door is locked and you know I wouldn’t leave.”
“You know I can’t help it,” His voice sounded sadder now, “It knows I love you, and it knows I’ll let it in because it looks like you.”
That stopped Ryan in his tracks and it seemed to stop Naim too, he locked up after finishing that sentence and refused to even glance in Ryan’s direction. Despite that, he still kept his grip on Ryan’s hand. “What did you say?”
Naim licked his lips and opened his mouth to respond but nothing left it. He closed his mouth so hard that Ryan heard his lips clack together. “I didn’t mean to say that.”
“I want you to say it again.”
“Why?” Naim sounded so small, like he thought Ryan would reject him. The thought never even crossed his mind, why would he reject Naim when he just got everything he ever wanted?
They never said those words to each other, they felt it of course, they spent every waking second together. They never thought they needed to say it, just the feeling was enough.
“Because I want to say it back.”
Naim bit his lip again and whispered it under his breath. It was only with gentle coaxing (or more like Ryan tickling his sides so hard that Naim started to bark with laughter) that he finally said it again,
“I love you Ryan.”
“I love you too.”
They both smiled with the relief of finally getting those words off of their chests. Naim leant in first with his hands coming up to cup Ryan’s face softly. Naim didn’t take the lead often, but when he did Ryan would follow wherever he wanted to go. His lips were soft but slightly chapped and his tongue tasted like the shitty slushies this place sold.
Ryan smiled into the kiss as he gently laid Naim down on the sofa cushions. Naim giggled in response and pulled at Ryan’s shirt, trying to get it over his shoulders.
Ryan tossed it into the corner somewhere.
He was so distracted by Naim and his soft kisses that he didn’t notice how his hands were creeping up to Ryan’s neck. At first, Ryan just thought Naim wanted to hold him like he did most days, he tended to cling to Ryan like he was the only thing in the world that mattered to him.
It was only when the hands squeezed harder than they should’ve that Ryan pulled back from the kiss. The Naim under him whined and tried to pull him back to distract him further. Ryan almost felt like a small crab in water as it gradually heated, not knowing he was slowly boiling to death.
The facade was slipping now.
The entity clutched onto him harder and began digging his nails into Ryan’s neck. Early into this situation with Not-Naim he didn’t like hurting it. It looked too much like him and only got better at copying his mannerisms the more time they spent together.
It made this little whining sound as Ryan managed to escape its grasp and began crawling over the sofa cushions to get to him. “Ryan.” It called, “Ryan come back. I’m sorry, okay? I won’t do it again. I promise. I’m sorry.”
It broke his heart to listen to this fake apology. Because it sounded just like him when he would wake up in the middle of the night surrounded by the guilt he carried so hard on his shoulders. Ryan forgave him long ago, but he was still forgiving him every night when he would wake up delirious and beg for it again.
Ryan shook his head as he ran for the door. He heard the entity scramble up to chase him as it jumped over the pillows and the arm of the sofa. He felt a brush of air on his bare skin as it tried to yank him back into the break room, but Ryan was gone before it could get him.
“Ryan?”
Ryan’s head whipped around as fast as lightning. Naim was standing by the vending machines, a bin bag in hand as he began cleaning the place up to close. “Where the fuck is your shirt?”
Ryan looked back at the break room and his expression must have betrayed him as Naim put the pieces together with the signs right in front of him. “Holy shit are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Can we just close up and get out of here?”
Naim stepped towards him, a hand already outstretched, he waited for Ryan’s small nod of approval before he grasped his hand between his own, a grounding touch.
“Yeah. Okay.”
Naim squeezed his hand as he responded, and the weight on Ryan’s shoulders dropped instantly. Ryan didn’t need to pull out the lighter this time, he knew it was his Naim by the love in his eyes.
And he didn’t even need to say it.
—
“Are you serious?”
Naim coughed between his giggle fit as he held the joint between his fingers. “Totally serious, I managed to tie my shoelaces together and fell in front of the entire school.”
Ryan laughed in response and brushed his foot against Naim’s. A day off from work meant spending time doing their favourite activity, laying on the floor and passing a joint back and forth while they traded childhood stories.
A lot of Ryan’s stories involved Hunter. They grew up together of course, and it was finally getting easier to talk about him without feeling like his heart was getting carved out of his chest.
He didn’t know who felt worse when his name was brought up. Ryan, who spent every weekend at Hunter’s house since he was seven years old, or Naim, a teenager in love who made a mistake so dangerous it cost him his life.
He squeezed Naim’s leg as he grabbed for the joint, sighing in relief when it made contact with his lips. Naim drummed his fingers on his stomach as he sat up slowly, looking into Ryan’s eyes.
“Can I ask you something?” He said as he began to nervously bite his lip, chewing the dead skin between his teeth. Ryan sat up too, offering a small nod in response.
“Did it tell you it loved you when you saw it at work?”
Ryan’s body tensed up, which was enough of an answer for Naim. He reached for Ryan’s hand and grasped it between his own, entangling their fingers together.
“Take your lighter out.”
“Why?”
Naim laughed and reached for his own lighter inside of his pocket. “Thought you didn’t need any convincing to do the things I tell you to do.” Ryan rolled his eyes as a small smile formed at the corner of his lips. “Alright, fine.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his matching silver lighter, with a snake design embedded onto it. He wiggled it in front of Naim’s face, still unopened. “Now what, genius?”
Naim shook his head and flicked Ryan’s lighter open before he opened his own. The flames danced in front of their faces as they entangled their arms, holding the flames in front of each other.
“I love you, Ryan Whelan. I have for a long time and it fucking sucks that it got to say it before I had the courage to do it myself.”
All Ryan could think about was how beautiful Naim’s face looked when it was lit up with the orange from the lighter's fire. He smiled and so did Naim, he was nervously bouncing his leg in place as he awaited Ryan’s response.
“I love you too, Naim Reid. Have since you tried to pick up that fucking rock just to impress me.”
“I wasn’t trying to impress you!”
Ryan laughed and clicked his lighter shut, tossing it beside him. “Oh sure. You just wanted me to pick it up in a tank top for you.”
“You couldn’t even pick it up, asshole.” Naim pointed at him as he said it and Ryan began to giggle once more, cracking a smile that looked similar to the one at the Mill, before they kissed and before all of this happened.
Ryan scooted closer and wrapped Naim’s frame into his arms and Naim’s head immediately fell into the crook of Ryan’s neck as he rested his cheek on top of Naim’s head. They fit together perfectly, and they knew they always would.
This was it for them, forever.
And it didn’t even bother them anymore, they would spend the rest of their lives together. Maybe they would get married, if the ring currently sitting in Ryan’s underwear drawer had anything to say about it, it would be sooner than they thought.
For now, they would soak in each other’s company and bask in the knowledge that the only person that would ever understand them, would be each other.
Forever.