Chapter Text
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Alex had spent the whole day thinking and stressing about the pool game she promised Maggie, after she showed up at Kara's door last night, and to be honest she was nervous. She never really had a problem focusing on her job until today, all thoughts were on tonight, and what could happen.
"Hey, is everything alright with Alex?" Winn asked as soon as Kara entered the DEO after catching a rouge alien.
Kara laughed,
" yes, why?" she asked in her usual chipper voice.
" That's why" Winn pointed across to Alex's desk, where she was sitting.
Alex's head was placed on top of her arms which were crossed and placed on her desk, staring at nothing with a look on her face Kara barely recognised, she had hardly ever seen Alex so nervous or worried about anything that didn't involve her, and she felt her heart drop for her sister. She walked over but stopped short, she watched her sister for a few seconds before placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, and felt Alex tense under the contact.
"Hey," Kara said with a soft voice as she knew her sister was hurting.
" Look, you don't have to go tonight, if you don't want to"
Alex looked up at Kara and sighed,
"I know, it's just, I don't want to lose her either you know?, even if that means we are only going to be friends" Alex took a deep breath in.
"It's just she makes me feel safe and she understands me and I'm not sure I'm ready to lose that just yet, but I'm so nervous Kara, I have no idea what I'm going to do or say, or how I should act around her anymore" and with those words her eyes glazed over with what were meant to be tears but they were quickly brushed away.
"Alex" Kara breathed, as she sat down on the seat next to Alex and took her hands in hers.
" Just be yourself, and if you don't want to talk about what happened, just change the subject, talk about work or something, I'm sure Maggie will understand" she gave her sister a reassuring smile and Alex seemed to relax slightly.
"Thank you" Alex breathed and gave Kara a weak but thankful smile.
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Alex decided to get to Billards early, so she can have a drink before Maggie got there, a bit of liquid courage in her system so she could make it through the night. She approached the Bar and M'gann's face looked concerned when she saw Alex.
"Hey, is everything alright?" She asked kindly.
Alex looked a little taken aback by that at first but then she gave a small smile,
"Oh, um , yeah, everything's fine, I'll take a beer please"
M'gann grabbed her a beer and slid it across the counter to Alex who caught it and took a sip quickly. M'gann watched her with a close eye for a second and could tell something was wrong, but decided not to push it, so she decided to put her hand on the counter in front of Alex and told her to have a good night and that's she here for her if she needs to talk, then walked away to serve another customer.
Alex picked up her beer and walked to one of the booths in the far corner, and sat down. She stared at the bottle in her hands and noticed they were trembling slightly. She released her grip of the bottle and clenched her fists, then rubbed her palms on her thighs. She took a couple deep breathes to steady her nerves, which only helped slightly.
'What am I doing?' she thought, 'Why am I so nervous?'
Whilst she was having her internal monologue Maggie entered the bar and looked around. She spotted Alex and made her way over only stopping at the bar to grab a drink. She took a deep breath as she approached.
"Danvers" She beamed, giving Alex her full smile, dimples and all, whist sliding into the booth, sitting across the table from her.
Alex looked up and couldn't believe how beautiful the woman sitting in front of her was, and she kicked herself at the thought. They were friends, at least they are trying to be.
"Hey" she replied weakly giving Maggie a small smile in return.
Maggie couldn't help but notice that Alex was being distant, but understood that she was still hurting from her rejection. She could see it in her eyes when she looked at her, the pain she had caused and her smile faded. She hated seeing Alex like this, hated thinking that Alex thought she didn't like her back, because truthfully Maggie really liked Alex, way more than she thought was possible, and way more than she should, but she didn't want to get involved with someone who potentially only likes her because she is the only other gay woman she knows, she couldn't risk her heart again, especially now after just being dumped. But she also didn't want to hurt Alex, because if her last girlfriends words were anything to go by all she did was cause pain and she didn't want that to happen to Alex. So being friends was the only solution she could think of that allowed her to keep seeing Alex, to keep being around her, to keep her in her life, no matter how selfish she felt about it. Because she was telling the truth when she said she didn't want to imagine her life without Alex in it.
Maggie realized that they had been sitting there in silence looking at each other for a while, both of them not knowing what to say.
" So um, how was your day?" Maggie asked shyly then proceeded to take a sip of her beer.
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