Chapter Text
Ashlyn swirled the straw around in her glass of ginger ale. She loved being home...well her birth place, but being there for the last two, nearly three years had been crushing. Her life seemed to have disappeared right before her eyes and in quick fashion. For the past three years alcohol, sorrow, death and complete and utter destruction of her life were all she had. It all seemed to happen so fast despite everything good that she had beforehand. Everything that she seemingly destroyed herself.
Ashlyn watched as beach goers walked down the sand, chatting with families, loved ones, children and hell even pets. Hanging out in a bar was one thing that she wasn't supposed to be doing because everyone, said it'd be best of she didn't. Bars weren't exactly the greatest place to house an ex-alcoholic.
Ashlyn sipped her ginger ale before turning to the tv. She recognized people running around on the screen, a pang of pain rushed over her frame but she swallowed it down with some soda and raised her finger.
"Hey John, can you turn the game up?" Ashlyn asked the barkeep.
John nodded and immediately turned up the game before going over to another customer at the bar. Ashlyn stared holes into the tv, biting her lip as she watched the female player run down the pitch, eating up whatever space the striker thought they had before stealing the ball from them, turning on a dime and exploding back up the pitch. The player crossed the ball into the 18 and another player smashed it right into the upper 90, scoring for team USA. She watched as the long haired brunette ran to the goal scorer and enveloped her in a tight hug as others crashed into them.
"AND THE USA IS UP ON THE BOARD ONCE AGAIN! 4-1 At the final second and that's full time. The US Women's National Team beats Mexico, the final send-off game before they head off to Canada to reclaim that World Cup trophy that eluded them four years ago in Germany." The announcer, Ian Darke said, not lacking an ounce of enthusiasm.
"Seriously Ian, I truly believe that this group will bring home that trophy and then do the same in Rio next year." Julie Foudy agreed.
"And Ali Krieger and Alex Morgan making a beautiful show right before the end of the game. Talk about show stopping." Ian Darke commented.
Julie Foudy nodded in agreement before turning back to the camera in front of them. "I agree, this USA team is really strong. Let's take a look back at the highlights of the game."
The channel logo came on the screen before showing the highlights of the USA team's 4-1 win. Ashlyn was interested in the entire game, although she missed most of it, she really only cared to see Ali. The woman she left behind, hurt and crushed. She somehow managed to foolishly lose the woman she loved and cared for.
Ashlyn sighed and finished off her ginger ale when she heard a familiar voice.
"You know this isn't healthy, Ash. This isn't healthy at all, hanging out at bars, and staying mopey all the time is ridiculous. You aren't that person that lives for this anymore." Chris admonished as he pulled up a seat next his sister.
"I'm not drinking Chris and you know it. I know that, you know that." Ashlyn brushed off.
Chris tapped the wooden bar top and nodded. "So you're just watching what used to be the love of your life? Because that's a better alternate?" He ended on a sarcastic note.
Ashlyn abruptly stood up from the bar and left a few bills for her soda. "Low blow and you know it."
"How? You've been here for how long and you haven't talked to anyone at all. You've isolated yourself from everyone for years. You did that, now face it, own up to it." Chris pointed out. "You're better than this, now show me."
Ashlyn bit the inside of her cheek and fiddled with her fingers. "I'm going back."
"What?"
"I'm going back to DC, I'm gonna go see her. I want to see her." Ashlyn voiced. It was her first time saying it out loud to herself or to anyone. She bought her plane ticket a week ago and packed up her belongings the same day. She hadn't told anyone about it, keeping her plans to herself but the only people she could tell were a few friends and Chris.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Chris asked, a hint of hurt sounded in his tone but he kept his face straight.
Ashlyn rubbed her face rather hard before exhaling loudly. "I just...I just think I'm ready now. I love her and I feel horrible for what I did, for how I left her and ignored her. I just want to fix things."
"You know she's not going to just jump into your arms, no sane person would. I don't even know...I can't even fathom how she'll react when she sees you." Chris replied honestly.
"I know. I'm afraid that she'll tell me to get the hell out of her face."
"Then explain to her. Do what you should've done three years ago and that's telling her what happen. Don't isolate yourself Ash, please."
Ashlyn nodded, "Yea. Well I'm gonna head home, I have a flight to catch tomorrow."
"Tell me how it goes. And don't bullshit me." Chris said before standing to pull her into a tight hug.
"No bullshit, got it." Ashlyn laughed as she wrapped her arms around his larger frame. "I love you and I promise to keep you in the loop. I'm not disappearing again, I promise."
"I love you baby sis, and I know you'll keep your promise." Chris smiled, patting her back before pulling back. "Alright, go on. I don't want to keep you."
Ashlyn waved goodbye before walking the short distance to the small apartment she owned. Harrowing things went on in this building and Ashlyn was ready to get away from it all. Boxes and a few suitcases lined the walls, the final moving truck would be coming later in the evening before she's on a flight to DC in the early morning.
She crossed the space to enter the kitchen to grab some dinner. The only thing in the fridge was leftover Chinese food in buffet containers. She'd eaten nearly all of it since she needed to clear out of the building. It was a huge risk to pack everything up and leave, to go back to DC where you met the love of your life. She didn't know if she'd be received well or what. But Ashlyn knew she at least had to try or else she couldn't go on in life. She'd already walked away from Ali once, she couldn't do it again.
Ashlyn heated up some of the leftover fried rice and chicken before plopping down on the couch. She scrolled through her phone, checking out the US Soccer website to see where the team would be. When she left DC for Florida, she didn't tell anyone where she was going, and she cut off ties from almost everyone. It got so bad to the point of her completely turning off her phone for an entire year and using a cheap throwaway phone from convenience stores. After staying with her brother for a few months, she then distanced herself. Her mind and world were dark places and she couldn't cope with it. She couldn't cope with anything at the time.
Ashlyn surmised that the team was going to be in DC for some appearances with fans and sponsers before they leave the state for others and then finally getting a send-off to fly to Canada. That meant it was possible to see the woman she walked out on and left in tears. Ashlyn was ready to fix things, she wasn't 100 percent better but she was ready to take the plunge despite the repercussions because honestly what left did she have to lose? And although it was a rather callous and wild way to think of her situation, it was the only way she could think.
She finished off her dinner and trashed both the paper plates and takeout containers before heading into the bathroom to shower. A simple act of showering disgusted the blonde because of the amount of failure and disappointment she accomplished in the past three years. The amount of helplessness, hurt, self-medication and utter destruction that she managed to cause to herself and others was disgusting. As she ran the hot water over her skin, she kept her eyes on the sponge and shower gel. Her movements were quick and to the point. She could never stand looking at her scars for too long because they reminded her of everything wrong she did. She quickly dried off and changed into clean clothes before falling asleep on the couch immediately.
♢♢♢♢♢♢
Ashlyn exited the taxi and pulled her luggage out before the taxi driver could offer to help. She dragged her bags into the airport and straight to the check-in desk. Once she got her flight and bags taken care of, Ashlyn made her way to a small airport shop. She knew they were going to overprice everything in the shop but she needed to eat. She re-learned how important eating was. It was amazing how far away from her profession she got but things happened and she was more than ready to admit it, and as she sat down with her coffee and bagel sandwich, she pulled her personal cell phone and turned it on for the first time in years. Immediately the phone began to vibrate incessantly. Calls, voice-mails, text messages and notifications from years, months, weeks and even a few days ago appeared on the screen. Ashlyn wanted to try and reply to any of them but she just felt overwhelmed. So instead she turned off the screen and tucked the phone back in her pocket to let it vibrate there.
Ashlyn entered the line for boarding and gave a small smile to airport attendant. She took her seat by the window and slightly grimaced as a man and woman came by and sat down next to her with what looked to be a newborn. A few short hours later and Ashlyn was completely ready to bolt. Despite the short hours from DC to Florida, that couple's newborn made her despise sitting next to families on aircrafts.
When the plane landed, Ashlyn made her way through security and baggage claim before loading up a cart and pushing it outside to a car she rented. It wasn't hard to get cars when you're a mechanic, it was however a bit hard to explain to friends in the business why you were absent for three years. She opened up the trunk and meticulously laid down her bags and suitcases before hopping inside and driving down the freeway to get to the apartment she bought. It was much bigger than the place she stayed at in Florida, so an upgrade indeed.
When she pulled up into the parking lot of the apartment complex, she withdrew her phone from her pocket, just noticing that the vibrations stopped. She had so many missed notifications that it almost felt insane to even attempt to catch up on, so once again, she pocketed the device. Ashlyn grabbed her bags from the trunk and took the key from the front desk. Ashlyn then took on the task of unpacking everything from her bags, the carefully wrapped furniture, utensils, tv, mattress that had already made it to her apartment. It took quite a while before everything was in place to Ashlyn's liking. She plopped down on the couch and brought out her phone again, this time with the actual intent to use it.
She dialed in Chris's number before holding the phone to her ear.
"Hey Ash, you made it to DC okay?" Chris asked. Ashlyn could hear the fright in his voice as if he thought she wasn't actually going to DC.
"Yea, everything went really good aside from a crying baby my entire flight." Ashlyn stated while picking at a loose threads on her jeans.
"Okay that's good. Are you going to reopen your auto shop or what? Because you can't just come back for Ali. Ali can't be the only way to make you feel better. You need to come here for yourself as well."
Ashlyn smiled at his slight protective nature. "I know bro and I'm here for myself too. Not just Ali but it'd be really great if me and her could reconcile."
"When do you see her?" Chris asked.
"Well it's not set that I'll see her but the team is coming to DC for some media stuff tomorrow, I saw it via their Twitter page. I'm just hoping that I'll see her, you know." The smile she sported before was now a full fledged grin. She always loved, Ali she never stopped, however, she did block any piece of Ali from her mind for over three years, and that she wasn't proud of.
"I hope it works out for you, Ash. Don't forget to call." Chris remind.
"I will, I will. Goodnight bro."
"Goodnight sis."
Ashlyn hung up before charging her phone inside her bedroom and grabbing bed covers from the small laundry room. She fixed up the bed, brushed her teeth and scribbled something down on a ripped piece of paper before laying down with a anxious but apprehensive smile on her lips.