Chapter Text
Kurt’s not much of a gambling man. He doesn’t play poker, he doesn’t watch races or sports, he doesn’t go to casinos and play the slots. And he doesn’t gamble with himself, much of the time.
Blaine is certainly changing that.
Whenever Kurt dated before, he’d take his time. If he was being pursued, he waited until the moment was right to return the interest strongly enough to encourage something further. If he was pursuing, he’d take it easy, wait until he was sure before making moves, far different from the fumbling nervous wreck he’d been in his unsuccessful high school love life. He always made absolutely certain, because getting hurt is not on Kurt Hummel’s agenda, and he’s experienced it far too much despite that, thank you very much.
He can’t get a read on Blaine, though. He’s not entirely sure who’s pursuing, or if they’re both pursuing each other, or if neither of them are. The only contact they’ve had since the night three weeks ago when they met (and fucked, so beautifully and deeply and all that despite no eye contact whatsoever) has been via text and three or four vaguely nerve-wracking phone calls. It feels like Kurt’s in high school again, fumbling again, totally unsure of how to properly date a man, or at least move forward towards dating. He’s interested, he’s certain Blaine’s interested, but they keep circling the subject, flirting and retreating, side-stepping any inquiries each in turn.
It’s kind of exhausting, and Kurt’s a bit miffed at his own behavior. He’s a Dom, and just because he’s just getting back into the lifestyle does not mean he can act like he’s never done it before. Especially with Blaine discovering his submissive instincts.
They talk about that, too. A lot. Blaine has a sub he’s talking to--Leta, Santana’s girlfriend, who’s been a sub as long as she’s been sexually active--and discovering certain things with, but Blaine has a lot of smart questions about boundaries and limits and aftercare that only a Dom can really answer. And Kurt is more than happy to provide them, even if he ends up unbearably needy for a sub (Blaine) to dominate afterward; just talking about it riles him up, like a man suddenly desperately thirsty all the time after his first drink of water in ages. He just doesn’t want to stop.
So when Blaine finally asks him out for coffee, Kurt accepts with absolute relief that Blaine made the first move. It’s important to Kurt that a sub set up their boundaries before the Dom takes over, and Blaine being the one to ask him out gives him the upper hand. Let him control the circumstances in which he hands over control--he’s vulnerable enough as it is.
It’s also the first time he’ll see Kurt, and Kurt wants him to be ready. He’s also terrified of Blaine’s reaction, even though he knows objectively that there’s nothing to worry about. He’s confident in his looks, and Blaine already likes what bits he’s experienced. But if he’s looking for someone with a face that looks like a horse and a rat had an unfortunate romantic run-in, he’s out of luck.
From Blaine:
So how will we find each other? Should we wear roses?
Kurt finds this so endearing and charming that he finds himself giggling and blushing before he can stop himself when it arrives during his lunch break the day of their date.
From Kurt:
Roses are so gauche. What about amaryllis?
From Blaine:
I’m not sure the corner shop by my place sells that, Kurt.
From Blaine:
Why don’t we just pick a flower ourselves? I’m pretty sure no one else will be carrying a flower into a coffee shop.
From Kurt:
Very well. But if there’s a sudden meeting of floral enthusiasts, we’re screwed.
Blaine sends back a simple lol and Kurt tucks away his phone. He’ll never make it through the day if they continue talking.
--
He picks up a stem of crimson amaryllis, with three flowers clustered at the top. He’s a man of his word.
His nerves sing all the way to the subway station by the coffee shop Blaine had asked him to. But once he comes up and starts walking the final block and a half, he settles, his shoulders relaxing, his strides longer. He and Blaine connected. They stillconnect, even when their bodies aren’t a part of the equation. They’ll connect now.
When Kurt enters, he looks around casually for Blaine. He finds him sitting at a table for two next to the window, already staring at him, his mouth hanging open a little bit, his eyes searching. Kurt smiles at him and starts forward. As soon as he does, Blaine’s face breaks into a huge smile, which Kurt can’t help but return.
“Kurt?”
Kurt nods, and Blaine is instantly up, approaching eagerly until they’re less than a foot apart and about to collide, at which point he freezes, hands half-lifted as though he were going in for a hug and decided against it.
“Blaine, you can hug me.”
Blaine laughs and relaxes, dropping his head for a moment and chuckling.
“I’m sorry, there’s really no precedent for this.”
“There isn’t. So don’t apologize.”
Blaine smiles up at him, sweet and fond.
“I won’t.”
And then he hugs Kurt. His arms wrap around Kurt’s waist, and Kurt immediately wraps around Blaine’s shoulders, his nose pressing against Blaine’s temple when Blaine’s head goes into his neck, nuzzling gently. It feels intimate and familiar in a way it shouldn’t, not with how little they actually know each other. But it does feel right.
Kurt pulls back. He can’t trust that feeling. His instincts are going out of control, the way his body folds over Blaine’s, the way he feels protective and strong around the smaller man, with his sweet smile and his wide, pleading eyes.
“Let’s sit. I’ll go get my coffee, and--”
“Oh, I--I already got you one,” Blaine says uncertaintly. “I didn’t get here tooearly, so it should be just cooled down enough by now. The coffee here is scalding, you have to wait forever for it to be safe--”
“Blaine, thank you,” Kurt interrupts gently. He resists the urge to carress Blaine’s cheek. “You know my coffee order?”
Blaine looks at Kurt like he had questioned if Blaine knew his own shoe size.
“Of course I do.”
He leads the way back to the table, and Kurt sets his flower down in the center of the table with the one Blaine bought, and instantly cocks his head questioningly at it.
“Blaine?” he asks, settling into his seat. “What on earth is that?”
Blaine looks so proud of himself as he seats himself across from Kurt, leaning forward eagerly.
“It’s an anthurium,” Blaine explains. “It’s...it’s like an alternative to roses. It’s...supposed to be romantic.”
He becomes less and less energetic about it as he speaks, watching as Kurt picks up the flower and studies it.
“It’s a heart,” Kurt says.
“Yes.”
“With...”
“The search I did on it said that that’s called a spadix.”
“You got me a heart. With a penis.”
Blaine snorts and bursts out laughing again, and Kurt notices his head dropping again to hide it.
“I didn’t...I just--oh god, I just wanted to get you something unique, and my neighbor has this weird greenhouse thing on the roof, and I thought it was ineresting--”
“It’s perfect, Blaine,” Kurt says, unable to stop grinning. “Can I take it home with me?”
“Only if I can take yours,” Blaine replies, pulling up the amaryllis and touching one of the beautiful flowers gently.
“Deal.”
They sip their coffees for a few minutes, smiling across the table and exchanging small talk like any awkward date ever. And then, Blaine opens and shuts his mouth several times, sighing and shaking his head. Kurt sets his coffee down carefully.
“I get the feeling you have something to say, but have no idea how to say it.”
Blaine blinks at him and then smiles in awe.
“I think the problem is actually that I know exactly what I want to say,” Blaine corrects softly. “I’m just not sure how you’d take it if I said it.”
Kurt reaches over and takes one of Blaine’s hands in his own. Blaine immediately warms and softens, and he locks eyes with Kurt just as Kurt wants him to.
“I’ll make you another deal,” Kurt says. “Or rather, an exchange of promises. If you promise to be completely honest with me, and say what you need to say, I will promise to hear you out and try to understand before I react. And I promise whatever extreme reaction is in your imagination right now is not going to happen--no disgust, no storming out. This place is far too crowded for a proper storm out anyway, I’d never do it without knocking into somebody--”
Blaine laughs, a squeaky, breathy giggle, and Kurt just stares at him, probably with a dopey smile on his own face. This man is precious and sexy and sweet, and trying so, so hard for him. He wants nothing more than to be kind to him in all ways--to be a kind friend, a kind lover, a kind Dom. He deserves that. They both might.
“Okay, I’ll tell you,” Blaine says. He takes a deep breath. “Just...let me get it out? I...I tried to plan this, but I have no idea--”
“It’s okay, Blaine,” Kurt assures. “Go ahead, and you let me know when you’re done.”
He settles back a little bit, sipping his coffee casually, looking at Blaine calmly and trying not to seem too expectant. If Blaine needs time, he’ll give him time. And Blaine smiles gratefully at him for it.
“Okay. I want you to know that...that you changed my life. What you did for me, how you...how you treated me, when we were...um, together. At the party. I don’t think I would have been able to do more with this...part of myself, if it--if it hadn’t been you.”
He shakes his head and runs his hand through his somewhat over-styled curls, the other still held quietly in Kurt’s.
“I can’t imagine, I just--what if I had gotten Sebastian? Or someone else who just wanted to hook up? I think I might’ve...might’ve been too...too...um, I don’t know exactly how to say this.”
“Take your time.”
Blaine finishes off his own coffee, and then looks over at Kurt.
“May I please get you another coffee? I can go up and get it, maybe think--”
“Of course. Thank you. Why don’t you get yourself a snack, too? Something nice.”
“I’ll get something for both of us,” Blaine suggests, and Kurt nods, grinning. And then he’s gone, taking their cups to the trash before getting in line, fidgeting and bouncing on his toes. Kurt turns back around and stares at the empty chair once he realizes he’s staring, though--giving Blaine time to think probably doesn’t involve making him feel uncomfortable and watched.
Kurt thinks he knows what Blaine is trying to say, but he wants to be sure. He’s under the impression that Blaine is thanking him for being a good Dom, for looking out for the sub first and not pushing things for his own benefit. He had the same feelings himself that night, and many times since--he was lucky, getting Blaine. If he had had a casual hookup, he would’ve felt cheap. Not because of anything inherently wrong with hooking up, god knows he’s done it himself before, but it’s not his style.He wants something more, to feel worth something to somebody, more than just a body. And Blaine made him feel like that.
Blaine slides back into the seat, pushes the coffee forward, and sets a plate with two biscotti on it at the center of the table. Kurt removes the lid of his cup and almost has to duck back from the cloud of steam.
“I told you they make it too hot here,” Blaine says ruefully. “Sorry.”
“Not a problem,” Kurt assures. “We’ll just have to be here for a little longer. Unless that’s a problem for you?” he teases gently. Blaine laughs again.
“Not a problem at all.” He bites his lip. “Do you mind if I--continue?”
“Go ahead,” Kurt grants. Blaine nods.
“I think what I was trying to say is that...I’m really happy it was you that night. You treated me like a person, even though I’m a sub. I was scared of not feeling like that. Like...feeling like less thanwhoever I was with. The only person I know in the--the scene, that’s Sebastian. And--I’m sure you can imagine--”
“I can,” Kurt agrees wryly.
“Well. I was convinced that by taking the chance, by going to the party, I’d get him. I thought he’d rig it. And I...I didn’t want it, but I didn’t know how else to go somewhere where these--these feelings meansomething. He’s the only in I have.”
“Not anymore,” Kurt reassures. “You have Leta now. And me.”
“That’s what I’m saying,” Blaine agrees earnestly. “And I’m so glad it’s you, because you make me...feel things. And I’m. Um, I’m learning, I guess? I’m figuring things out better now, now that I have a--a focus? Oh, god, I don’t mean to sound, like...creepy, or anything, I just--”
“It’s okay. You don’t sound creepy. Say what’s in your head, Blaine, don’t worry about how I’ll take it.”
Blaine looks at him intensely for a moment.
“I have no idea if this is normal. I just want to...to fall on my knees, whenever you talk to me. We don’t even have to be on the phone, just a text, and I just...I want to go back to that night, and do more, and feelmore. And I have...no idea if that’s at all normal--”
“Blaine, can I say something? Before you finish? It’s important.”
Blaine just nods, licking his lips in a way that Kurt can’t help but watch.
“Whatever you are feeling?” Kurt says sincerely. “Is okay. Don’t worry about normal or what other people think or feel. Your feelings are real. It’s how you handle the feelings that makes a difference. And talking to me about them, I really appreciate it. And if you want to continue, I want to hear what you have to say.”
Blaine’s face twists like he’s got too many emotions to contain at that moment, but he settles on a smile and takes a shaky breath.
“Thank you.”
Kurt just smiles at him, and then sips his coffee, still a little too hot, but cooled enough not to scald him. When Blaine still hasn’t spoken, he takes a biscotti and dips it, nibbling at the end, waiting patiently for whatever Blaine wants to say.
“I guess the point is that I want to...to see you. Like this, but also...like before. I...I want to show you how grateful I am for the things you’ve made me comfortable enough to explore. I’ve...talked a lot to Leta, and you know what we’ve talked about, obviously, and...I want to explore these things with someone I...I like. And trust. And...and want to be with.”
Kurt smiles at Blaine softly.
“Are you asking me if you can be my sub?”
Blaine blushes, and goes bashful and shy, and Kurt’s chest aches. He would be a fool to turn this down, and he has no intention.
“I...I guess I am. I’m sorry if that’s too forward--”
“Do you know what I loved most about our first meeting? About all that happened?” Kurt asks. Blaine shakes his head, and Kurt feels like he’ll never stop smiling. “That you were comfortable doing things. Some subs...a lot of subs, actually...they make it all about the Dom. They don’t do anythingout of fear of doing things wrong. And I understand that, but...I want someone who is my equal, not my inferior. I want someone who isn’t afraid to kiss me how they want to kiss me, how I want to be kissed. And you did that.”
Blaine’s eyes go dark and wide, his lips parted to pull in breath, and he reaches over and grabs Kurt’s hand. Kurt strokes over Blaine’s knuckles with his thumb as Blaine bites his lip and then speaks.
“I would...like to be your sub. I don’t know if there’s a...a thing we should do? A...I’m not sure--”
“How about this?” Kurt suggests. “Let’s finish our coffee, and go for a walk, and talk a little more. And then I’ll walk you to the subway station, and say goodnight, and make sure I know exactly when I’m going to see you again.”
“I--oh, okay.”
“Say what you’re thinking, Blaine.”
“I was hoping...you’d come home with me.”
Kurt wants to, so badly. But Kurt doesn’t gamble.
“How about we get to know each other first?” Kurt asks. “Let’s see if we’re compatible outside the bedroom. We already know we are inside it, and three weeks of talking mostly about the scene isn’t enough to really know each other. Let’s go out a few more times, take our time. And when the time is right, we’ll revisit this.”
“I...I can be okay with that,” Blaine agrees. “Can we...still talk about the scene, sometimes? I’m still curious, and--”
“Of course,” Kurt says. “I’d never take that away from you. Let’s just keep the sexual part of it for a later date.”
Blaine nods. “Okay.”
--
They took new coffees on their walk, warming them in the chill of the night air. How it got to be dark out that fast, Kurt has no idea--as far as he could tell, they’d barely scratched the surface before they decided to grab another drink and head out, lest it get too late. And they’d walked up and down the blocks, ambling along easily, Kurt’s arm threaded through Blaine’s.
When they get to the end of the date, Kurt stops Blaine at the subway station.
“Do you take this, or are you within walking distance?”
“Actually, we passed my building,” Blaine says. “Twice.”
Kurt laughs.
“I’m sorry. If I’d known, I would’ve said goodbye to you there.”
“Never,” Blaine says. “I’m familiar with the area, and I wanted to walk you here so I can make sure you get on the subway safely.”
“That’s very sweet, Blaine,” Kurt replies gratefully, charmed. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Blaine throws away their empty cups in the trashcan nearby and then returns, taking both of Kurt’s hands in his own. “When can I see you again?”
Kurt bites his lip and thinks.
“Well, I’ve got some meetings over the next couple of days, and that usually means catching up on work later, so I’ll be busy til...Friday? Are you available?”
“I am,” Blaine says. “Can I take you to dinner?”
“I’d love that, Blaine.”
“Good.” Blaine bows his head a little bit, like the most fantastical gentleman ever born, squeezing Kurt’s hands in his own. “Friday. I’ll pick you up at seven.”
Kurt can’t help but smile into it as Blaine leans in and kisses him gently, a perfect, tingling, anticipatory end-of-first-date kiss.
“Goodnight,” Blaine whispers, pulling away, and whatever Kurt did to get this karmic reward, it must have been big.
“Goodnight.”
When he gets home, he slips into bed and imagines very vividly just how differently the night could have gone if he’d accepted Blaine’s invitation home.
--
The date on Friday is wonderful, as are the dates on Saturday, Monday, and Wednesday, and every date they can manage after that for another two weeks. But simmering under the surface is a bit of something more, something missing, something prickling and cracking at the edges of Kurt’s patience--for what, though, he’s not totally certain.
Blaine ends their dates in a state of partially hidden agitation, and Kurt is beginning to worry. Their kisses are deeper, needier, and the whines in Blaine’s throat are clipped short and desperate. And even on the one date they’d ended up just staying in at Blaine’s apartment, after dinner they’d laid on the couch and made out like teenagers for far too long, it hadn’t been enough, evidently for either of them.
It’s the second time it happens, this time at Kurt’s apartment, that Kurt pulls back and brushes some of Blaine’s hair off his forehead.
“What wrong?” Kurt asks. And that’s all it takes.
Blaine sits up and clenches his hands in the knees of his pants.
“I am going insane, Kurt,” he blurts out. “I’m having all these...feelings, and needs, and you told me they were okay, but I don’t know what to do with them. I just...I feel like I...”
He trails off, and Kurt sits next to him and holds his hand.
“I stand by my promise,” Kurt says. “I will let you say whatever you need to say, and I’ll try to understand it before I respond.”
Blaine shakes his head in exasperation.
“You--you gave me everything, Kurt,” he says. “You showed me who I really am, and you did it in a single hour. What would you do to me with more? With weeks, months...with a lifetime? What could we do with each other?”
It’s there. It’s huge, and it’s fast, and Kurt’s not prepared to take this jump yet, not after just past a month of knowing each other.
“Blaine, I’m not sure--”
“You told me not to be ashamed of what I’m feeling, Kurt. And what I’m feeling is...that I want to be around you. I want to be yours.”
Blaine looks into his eyes, and waits for his response. And honestly, Kurt’s torn.
Kurt has always taken his time. Relationships that last need a foundation, and work, and Kurt’s never been in a particular rush before. But he can’t deny that things with Blaine have only felt uncomfortable when he’s put on the brakes.
But he needed to. Blaine is new to this, and Kurt is the only Dom he’s had. Kurt’s worried that Blaine might have latched onto how Kurt made him feel and equated the satisfaction of his needs with Kurt alone, rather than as something other Doms could also provide him with. He thought he was doing what was best, giving Blaine and himself time to settle into their dynamic, make sure that wasn’t the only thing between them.
But it looks like, while it’s not the only thing between them now, it might be something they can actually just have.
Can he cheat? Can he skip all the hard parts, and just have something wonderful with Blaine? Can it really be that easy? It feels too easy, and he’s predisposed to distrust it, like a slot machine he keeps getting sevens at. He can’t be this lucky, it can’t be this easy. They can’t be so compatible it feels like they were madefor each other, two halves of some undefined whole. Life doesn’t make things that simple.
But it is. And maybe Kurt needs to take his own advice and trust how he feels. He can at least try.
“Stay tonight,” Kurt blurts out, and Blaine’s eyes go wide.
“Are you--you’re serious--”
“Of course I am,” Kurt insists. “You’re right. I’m used to doing things a certain way. I’m careful. And I didn’t want to mess this up.”
“You couldn’t,” Blaine breathes, leaning in. “Nothing, nothing could mess this up--”
And then they’re kissing furiously, and Blaine is pushing Kurt down onto the couch, slotting between his legs, pushing in close to him. And soon enough, they’re totally wrapped in each other, panting and catching breaths whenever they can before they lunge back in, unwilling to stop the slide and press of their lips and tongues and bodies, in all their combinations.
“Can we...like this?” Blaine asks. “Just--normal? Want to do so many things to you--”
“Unh, yes--”
“Come on,” Blaine gasps, rolling them onto their sides and pressing their hips together. “Please--”
“Okay,” Kurt groans, gripping Blaine’s arms and letting him kiss down his throat. “So show me what you want to do to me.”
Blaine laughs, and complies.
--
They fuck right there on the couch. There are several times when they suggest moving to the bedroom, but neither of them can pull away long enough to accomplish that. It was only when Kurt was laid on his back, naked, one leg rested along the back of the couch and the other spread out and bent off the couch, stroking himself when Blaine had stopped doing it himself, that Blaine just asked where the supplies were and went running to Kurt’s bedroom to get them--actually running, stark naked, cock hard in front of him, and Kurt laughed and covered his face and couldn’t watch, as pleasant as the view probably was. He’d only removed it when Blaine had lain back on top of him and lowered his already-lubed fingers down, opening Kurt too carefully before fucking him gloriously, grasping the couch and Kurt’s thigh for leverage, both of them sweating and loud and kissing messy and hard. Only when they’d both come, hard and too fast and not nearly enough, did they stumble to the bedroom, vowing to clean up in the morning as they fell into bed and did it all again.
The next morning they wake, and thrust tiredly into another orgasm. When they’re laying afterward, drowsy and messy and gathering up the energy to shower, Blaine starts drawing patterns with his fingers on Kurt’s chest next to where he’d laid his head.
“You told me to tell you honestly what I’m thinking.”
Kurt hums in agreement, and looks down as best he can, waiting for Blaine to spit it out. Blaine draws a heart and lays a kiss inside it before he looks up.
“I want to do a scene with you.”
Kurt breathes in the scent of Blaine, and the things they did together, and skips all the steps in between he’s ever planned in a situation like this.
“Okay.”