Work Text:
TRADITIONS
By Christophersmom261 (I'm Claudia425 on Tumblr)
1700+ words
“I know we can’t go see your mum for Christmas and I truly am sorry. ”
He waits for her to speak. She swallows several times, obviously trying to hold back tears. When she finally speaks her voice is soft, her words almost whispers. She cracks a pitiful little half-smile.
“We can’t go back to last Christmas, can we, and at least watch us…them for a while?”
“Rose, love….”
“No, I know. Paradox. Reapers. Bad stuff. ”
“Yes,” the Doctor replied. “I’m sorry. It’s - you know. We can't make that mistake again, Rose, I’m so sorry."
“No. I know. I knew it when I chose to stay with you even though I knew I’d never see her again. And I made the right choice, Doctor. Always. It’s just kinda tough when the holidays come and you kinda realize what it all really means, ya know. Family.
“I guess, in a way, my mum was Christmas to me. And now, without her, I don’t know what to do,” she finished as a single tear ran down the left side of her face.
The doctor reached down and followed the trail of the tear with his thumb, then said brightly, “we can start some of our own traditions now, can’t we? For that matter, we can celebrate any holiday, right? Doesn’t even have to be from Earth, does it?” He was starting a ramble, she could see it in his eyes. “We could bebop around the universe, celebratin’ everyday. We could celebrate SchpringnSomer on Jamede , or ooh, yeah, Minahiri on Tuskadegan IV, you know. That’s the one where everyone strips off their clothes and howls at the first new moon of their year. Now there’s a tradition for ya.”
The Doctor nudged her with his shoulder. He was trying so hard to cheer her, and was gearing up for even more of a ramble to distract her from her pain. His smile was getting a bit strained.
He had known this day would come, when something would so clearly say “home” to her heart that she’d be filled with longing and need for Jackie, who was safely ( he hoped) tucked into a nice little life with that universe’s Pete and the family they were trying to build.
He and Rose knew Jackie was pregnant, (imagine that????!!) after seeing her to say a proper goodbye. He had searched for days to find the tiny little sliver of a breach left for the dimensional closure. He’d burned up a star to get enough energy to punch through to the other universe.
He succeeded in projecting them through the void like a hologram. It was the absolute last chance for the mother and daughter to speak with each other. Ever.
She never said it, but he knew somewhere inside, Rose was counting on him to find a way back through, someday. After all, he was The Doctor, wasn't he? She knew that, for her, he would never stop trying.
For the moment, though, it was two weeks before Christmas and they were sitting on the divan in Jackie’s old flat, which was now officially Rose’s since the doctor had paid the next year’s rent in full. She hadn’t been up to cleaning out and going through her mothers things right after Canary Wharf. Twice she’d had him bring the TARDIS back to the Powell Estate for a visit, but both times, she was frozen, unable to walk among her mother’s things. Rose had simply sat, quiet as a church mouse, absorbing the atmosphere of the flat that had been so alive and loving.
Jackie should’ve been there, makin’ a cuppa and threatening to smack a certain individual when he brought her daughter home at the wrong time. Sitting there with Rose, the Doctor found he actually missed Jackie Tyler too, though he might never say so.
This latest, the third since Torchwood and the war, was a special request trip home, for Christmas ornaments and the like, so that she could bring some of her own traditions to the tree trimming they would do onboard the TARDIS.
As she combed through cartons, looking for things of special interest, Rose finally began to talk.
“She always made it so special,” said Rose, starting to cry. “Even when we ‘ad no money, not a bit, between us.
"One year when I was pretty young, we had nothin’ at all. It was a year when she was in between jobs, I know she musta felt really awful. She never let me see it, though. She really used her imagination. She got a big sheet of paper, probably cut from a paper grocer’s sack, and she drew just the bare bones of a tree on it and then pinned up on the wall. She said it was our Christmas tree and that I should decorate it.
"I spent that whole Christmas mornin’ coloring in the tree and drawing on it, every kinda decoration I could think of. Mum had the radio on playin’ Christmas songs the whole time and we sang loud enough to scare the neighbor’s cats.
"I remember mum just glidin’ in and outta the room, singin’ Christmas songs and giving me earrings and brooches and anything shiny she had that we could pin on that paper tree.
"Then she said we was gonna go out to get Christmas dinner, so we bundled up and headed for a pizza restaurant farther away usual because at this place, they’d sell you pizza by the slice. You didn’t have to buy the whole pie, which was great because she’d only managed to scrape together barely enough for three peices. He wrapped ‘em up for us and we went back home to eat.
"When we got there, I went into the kitchen and that was when I realized what Mum 'ad been up to while I was decorating the tree. The table was beautiful. She’d put on her very best table cloth an’.” Rose stopped for a bit as she was gasping with sobs and could barely breathe by this time, let alone speak.
The Doctor held her close, rubbing her back gently and waiting for her to regain control.
“An’ she’d set the table with the few items of real crystal and china she owned, left to her by her Granny Prentiss.
"She’d set the table so nice and we drank water outta wine glasses and toasted each other in silly fancy voices like we was having dinner with the queen, or at least the Queen Mum, and we laughed. We ate our pizza, one an’ a half pieces each, right off'a those beautiful china plates. She’d even found a couple leftover Christmas crackers so we were both wearing our paper crowns while we ate.
"After, we washed up and went into the lounge and cuddled up under a blanket and watched all the Christmas shows on telly. It was such a wonderful day.”
She looked up at the Doctor, whose eyes were now shining suspiciously bright. He pulled her to him and held her for a long, long time, shushing her cries and whispering sweet nothings into her hair as he gently kissed the top of her head.
“You know what,” she finally said. “That’s one of my favorite Christmases. And we had next to nothin’. I didn’t even have a gift to open. That whole day was my gift. ”
“Love was the gift,” the Doctor murmured, “Your mum was a pretty amazing woman.”
She looked at him then, and gave him one of her real smiles, the first of the day.
“That was my favorite Christmas until the one when I was 12, when a handsome stranger left me with a shiny red bike, and a note sayin’ it was from Father Christmas. Not that you’d know anything about that, right?”
The Doctor sniffed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Course not.”
“Thank you, my doctor. For helping me through this and for everything else. I really am so very happy with you. I love our life together in the TARDIS and I love our adventures. I just have missing her, and Mickey too, to go though in the meantime.”
“You’re grieving and that’s perfectly natural. Take your time. I’m here for you always, and when you need a little time on your own, just say so. I’ll go find something to do and give you as much time and space,” he waggled his eyebrows at the phrase, “as you need. ”
She smiled and put her arms around his neck and kissed him
“I love you so much, my Doctor.”
“I love you, too, my Rose.”
“We can maybe just decorate a little tree this year and have a quiet Christmas together. Maybe have a good cuddle in the library, watching movies all day. If that’s okay with you, Doctor? ”
“Ummmmm. Only if we can get carry in for dinner.”
“Indian? Thai? Chips?”
“Actually I was thinking of pizza, but I suppose a side order of Chips wouldn’t be unwelcome.”
She kissed him again, but this time it was a right proper snog. When they stopped to catch a breath, she smiled, tongue in teeth.
“Merry Christmas, Doctor.”
“Merry Christmas, Rose Tyler. ”
El Fin