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If you and me become estranged someday
If we could never meet each other
Don’t forget Don’t lose
Even if you are holding other’s hand
If you are at somewhere I cannot go
Don’t forget Don’t lose
- Don’t Forget, Crush (ft. Taeyeon)
It’s Christmas night, and Cat has just tucked Carter snuggly into bed after a whole day of celebrations. Cat leaves the warmth of the ski lodge and settles herself onto a armchair on the porch. She pulls the blankets around herself, quite enjoying the cold breeze. It was a relaxing and fulfilling day, and Cat’s body feels warm and sleepy after a whole day of comfort food and warm drinks, but for some reason her brain’s still obstinately running at full speed. It’s been…years, since she’s felt this alive. Running CatCo came with huge responsibilities, and she’s always took pride in everything she’s done to build her empire. But as she had settled into the stability of her throne overlooking the city, she’s slowly lost that thing that made her who she was. That insatiable thirst for more…So, she has no regrets about putting down what her life has revolved around for so long, just like that. She’s been walking on the ground for too long, she’s forgotten how to fly.
If she had to name one thing she missed, it’d probably be her perky little assistant. Kara, who had been able to anticipate and meet her every need. Ever the optimistic, sunny Danvers and her predisposition for pleasing Cat. Things would have been very different between them if she had stayed at CatCo and Kara had graduated to becoming a cub reporter. She wonders how her Christmas has been, if she’s missing her parents, if she’s with her adoptive family.
Cat sends off a Christmas greeting as an afterthought. Communications between them has been infrequent but steady for the past couple of months ever since she’s left CatCo, and she’s been following her headlines through the news as well. Cat wonders if-
Her phone pings with an instant reply from Kara.
Merry Christmas, Cat!
Followed by a train of various emojis, one of which looks suspiciously like its drooling.
Cat purses her lips. She imagines Kara in a non-descript, tiny but cosy apartment, surrounded by family and friends.
A second message from Kara pings.
How has your Christmas been?
Cat’s always had no patience for small talk, and this awkward dancing around that Kara increasingly seems to be doing with her is grating on her nerves.
I want to talk to Supergirl. Can you arrange a meeting?
Cat feels a smile on her face as she watches the little grey dots appear and disappear in tandem over a couple of minutes. Finally, a reply.
Now?
If Cat was a person who sniggered, that would be exactly what she’d be doing right now. She was just teasing Kara, but being the naive, innocent girl that Kara is, she took it seriously.
Is something wrong, Ms Grant?
Well, there’s been so much change recently, be it in Cat’s life or Kara’s, that knowing the newly minted reporter hasn’t changed one bit is quite a relief. Cat shivers a little in the winter cold, and decides to call it a day.
She has just typed in ‘No’ before she hears the familiar swoosh behind her.
“I heard you were looking for me, Ms Grant.”
Cat rolls her eyes.
“Supergirl.”
It takes away her breath every time, the way Supergirl suspends in mid air, that blood red cape flowing gently behind her. Such a blatant exhibition of power, of strength. How could she not have seen the same in Kara?
A spike of irritation flashes across Cat’s face and she presses the call button.
A familiar ringtone rings out somewhere from Supergirl’s ankles.
In the quiet Christmas night, up on the high mountains surrounded by snow, Cat and Kara stares at each other. Supergirl’s seemingly engaged in a internal battle with herself, it would be entertaining at any other time, but Cat is suddenly feeling the weight of the whole year on her and the warm fuzziness induced by a good meal and plenty of alcohol right now, and really just want to slip into a deep and dreamless slumber- Supergirl’s shoulders tense, as if preparing to shoot off into the night sky, and the word “Stay” was on the tip of Cat’s tongue before Kara visibly deflated and landed gently onto the porch next to her.
Cat smiles before she realises it herself, taking a sip from the bourbon to quell the sudden relief in her stomach.
“It’s just…been a really trying couple of weeks, Ms Grant. Is there something you needed?”
This weary, world-worn Kara is different from the person she’s been texting with these past few months. And Cat wonders if the reassurances she’s gotten from a chipper Kara through her texts every time after she’s made the headlines has all been due to a lack of emotional transference through written messages.
Kara is staring straight ahead, into the snowy darkness, hugging her arms to her chest. She seems to be carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Cat scoots close, their fingers almost touching, and simply lets the two of them breath for a little while.
In quiet moments like this before Cat left, Kara had frequently entertained thoughts of what it would’ve been like when Cat isn’t her boss anymore…when they’re standing on the same height, where they can speak to each other like equals. Maybe they could have become something more. But she never thought that Cat could simply disappear from her life, never thought that time would make it hurt less. She still misses her like a physical pain sometimes, but so much had happened, and she has learned to lean on other people a little bit more, for better or for worse.
“Tell me, Kara.”
“…So much has happened in the months that you were gone, Ms Grant.” And what Kara wanted wasn’t to tell her everything that had happened. What she wanted was just Cat, being a constant presence in her life. The confiding was simply a part of it, Kara wanted Ms. Grant. She still wanted to know every detail of her life, know if her new assistants’ got her coffee orders right, if Carter is doing well in school, just- how she’s doing. But she can the feel the distance widening between them, as if time and events are slowly turning them into strangers. Tears sprung in Kara’s eyes without warning, and she feels Cat’s hand wiping away her tears.
Kara nests her face into Cat’s hand, savouring the warmth, the proximity.
“I’ve really missed you, Cat.”
“Oh, Kara.”
Cat envelops her in a hug, and Kara tries not to hold on too tight.