Chapter Text
Daryl Dixon’s not the marryin’ kind. Never will be.
In his previous life, if you could call driftin’ from town to town with Merle a life, Daryl dismissed the thought altogether. No broad would tie him down. No person could ever tear down his walls.
When the dead began to rise, Daryl all but forgot the word “marriage”. This was a new world after all and it was not one that could allow such luxury, such security.
Survival was always Daryl’s priority, and he was good at it. Never show your emotions, never let anyone inside, never trust and no one can hurt you. That was Daryl’s motto, his creed. Most people changed when the world ended, but not Daryl. He held tight to everything he was before.
Then there was her.
Beth changed it all.
It first occurred to Daryl that he could be a domesticated man when they were holed up in that funeral home. Watching Beth at that piano, he could actually imagine them living there for the rest of their days. He wanted it. He dreamed of it that night, but his dreams were shattered when the walkers overran the house.
And then she was gone.
Daryl’s number one priority was survival, until the moment she was gone. Spending the night lying in the road was probably the stupidest thing he’d done in his miserable life, but he finally understood what it meant to need someone. Without her he was broken.
Finding her alive at Grady was the most hopeful Daryl had felt in his entire life. But just as quickly as the light returned to his life, she was gone again.
If Daryl felt broken before, the only way to describe him in the months that followed would be “broken”.
Without her nothing mattered. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t eat, all he felt was overwhelming guilt and despair. He no longer saw a point in going on.
Aaron and Eric pulled him out of his depression, or at least pulled him far enough away from thoughts of ending it all. They took him in, looked after him, gave him something to do. It helped being around people who didn’t know her. Being around his family, his new apocalypse family, only amplified his grief. They had basked in the light of her life as well, but the most frustrating part was that no one seemed to miss her as much as Daryl.
When he saw her walk through the gates of Alexandria he thought he was hallucinating. She was radiant, illuminated by the hot rays of the summer sun. Bloody, bruised, and scarred she was still the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. He ran to her, lifted her in his arms bridal-style the same as he had done months before to what he thought was her lifeless body. This time she threw her arms around his neck and whispered his name, too weak to say anything else, but indeed alive.
In the next few months Daryl learned what it meant to be needed. Beth never had to ask, but he was always there when she needed. He helped her walk until her legs were strong again. He closed the blinds and gave her cold compresses when the headaches came. He helped her adjust to life in the Safe Zone. Most importantly though, he was there to hold her when the nightmares came.
There was a time when Daryl may have cared about what people would think of him and Beth. He was aware that in the old world their age difference would have caused a scandal and to some it still might. He no longer cared once she arrived to the Safe Zone. He had already lost her twice, nothing would stop him from being with her.
What shocked Daryl was that she wanted him too.
She first kissed him in her bed at the infirmary. They talked well past midnight each night, telling each other things they had never told another living soul. Daryl couldn’t remember what he had said when she took his hand and pulled him close, their lips colliding. It was sweet at first, both of them unsure of how the other felt, but it quickly turned passionate. They had lost each other too many times to hold back now.
She spent less than a week living with Maggie and Glenn before moving in with Daryl. He was working on his bike late one night when she showed up in the light of Aaron and Eric’s garage and declared that she couldn’t stand to live with her sister for another minute.
Daryl’s room was nothing but a place to lay his head until Beth moved in. Now it looked like an actual home. Her guitar, keyboard, and notebooks took up one corner of the room while Daryl’s bow took up the other. Just like at the prison, Beth had a wall covered in drawings the children had made for her. On her nightstand was a framed picture of her and Daryl. Their dresser was lined with trinkets he brought back for her from supply runs.
Despite how domesticated they looked, Daryl still bristled when people called Beth his wife. Something about the word didn’t feel right, even though he fully intended to spend the rest of his life with her. “Husband” and “wife” sounded like they belonged in the old world. Yet so did “girlfriend”.
With the normalcy of Alexandria, Daryl felt the pressure to marry Beth and live a life close to what would have been normal in the old days. A girl like Beth probably expected to get married too. She was the kind of girl who dreamed about a wedding since she was small.
Glenn and Maggie often asked when it would happen. Rick, Michonne, and Carol too. Aaron and Eric had teased him relentlessly until they realized just how much it bothered him. Father Gabriel mentioned it on the rare occasion that Daryl accompanied Beth to church, citing that a wedding would give the citizens of Alexandria something to celebrate.
Daryl scoffed at that idea. He had done more celebrating since Beth returned to him than he had done in his whole life previous. He celebrated that his family had found safety and security behind these walls in their Sunday dinners and in their get-togethers that raged long into the night. He celebrated Beth’s return by worshipping every inch of her body, every breath she took. He had never been so happy and he didn’t need the preacher to say a bunch of words just to prove it.
The subject still weighed heavy on him though. It may be something Beth wanted. If she wanted it, he would be sure to give it to her, but he needed to come to terms with it and put his whole heart into it first.
They were laying amid a field of tall grass, much like the one they collapsed in when they fled the prison years ago, when he finally decided to ask. Looking at her resting her head on his bare chest, catching her breath after they made love, he decided he was ready to marry her.
“Beth,” he said.
“Mmm?” she sighed, opening her eyes to meet his.
“Do you wanna get married?” Daryl asked.
“Are you asking?” Beth asked, her voice a mixture of amusement and disbelief.
“Guess so.” Daryl said. “I can get you a ring and ask for real. I just wanna know if you want to.”
“Do you?” Beth asked.
Daryl shrugged. “If you want to, I will. I’ll give you anything you want, Beth, you know that.”
Beth smiled and kissed Daryl’s bare chest. “We don’t need to get married, Daryl.”
“You sure?”
Beth nodded. “Yes, I’m sure. You’re more than just my husband Daryl. We don’t need some ceremony to tell us what we mean to each other.”
What they mean to each other. Daryl is still unsure of what he means to her. She’s his world, his everything, he knows that for sure, but they don’t talk about what they mean to each other because that would mean bringing up the time they spent apart, their darkest days.
“We don’t need to get married for me to know I need you, Daryl.” Beth elaborated. “After Grady I fought to survive, to get here. I did things I never thought I could do for myself. But without you, I might as well have been one of the walkers.”
He holds her closer at the thought of losing her. He reminds himself that she is here. She is alive. She is safe. He keeps her safe now.
He thinks of all the married couples they know in Alexandria, even the ones who aren’t officially married, but still play the part. They’re happy, he knows that. Life was too dangerous and short now to waste any time in something miserable. There’s something different though, but he can’t seem to figure it out.
He wants the things that come with marriage; a home with Beth, children, growing old together. He can have that without a wedding though, without calling her his wife.
Because in reality she is so much more. Marriage is a term from the old world. Those who still use it are those who can’t let go. Daryl has nothing to hold onto from the old world, from before. This new world, as cruel and dangerous as it may be, gave him a family, gave him Beth.
Since the old world ended and the new one began Beth has become a whole new person. She was a child when it ended, but she learned and adapted quickly. Daryl admires her strength. He is forever amazed at the warrior that grew from the frail teenage girl.
When the world ended Daryl taught Beth how to be strong and in return she taught him how to love. Their love is nothing like love in the old world. Their love leads them to each other time after time like a map of the new world. Knowing each other, loving each other, and having faith is what keeps them alive in a world where the odds are against them. This kind of love was rare, if not impossible before the world ended. This isn’t the kind of love that can be sealed in marriage with bouquets of flowers and white dresses. It’s the love that’s in their hearts, beating quickly, pumping blood as they run from whatever danger they leave behind them. It’s the love that’s in those primal parts of their brains – survival instincts.
“But we ain’t them.” Daryl reminds Beth.
She smiles. She knows their love for each other is one of the few things that distinguishes them from the dead.
“I love you, Beth.” Daryl says.
He rarely says those words, but he needs her to hear them. He needs her to know that what she means to him is more than rings on their fingers.
“I love you too, Daryl.” Beth says, looking him in the eye.
Daryl Dixon’s not the marriage type, but he makes love to Beth as if it were their honeymoon, consummating the promise they have made to each other.
When she drifts off in his arms, drenched in sunlight in the middle of the quiet field he watches her in awe of her beauty. He still can’t believe his luck. It took the world ending for this beautiful girl to fall in love with the good-for-nothing redneck.
It’s a new kind of love for a new kind of world and Daryl couldn’t be happier with his choices.