Chapter Text
“Sir, you’ve been drinking.”
“Shwhy d’ya say phat, Lieu… Lef… Lah-ten-ant?”
“Your hand is on my ass, sir, and you haven’t even flinched at my gun yet.”
“Oh-kay.”
“Remove your hand, sir. Before I shoot your foot.”
“Ah.”
“Now, tell me why Havoc, Falman, Breda, and Fuery have all come to my apartment tonight asking about flame alchemy?”
“SHAVING!”
“… shaving, sir?”
“No, no! Hazing.”
“Sir, you do realize that exposing those secrets means I have to be naked, correct?”
“I’LL KILL THEM!”
“Sir, that won’t be necessary. You just need to call off the hazing first thing in the morning.”