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The cold December air brushed against Liam’s face and he could feel chills go up his spin. He pulled his winter coat closer to his body and stuffed his hands into his coat pockets. He walked down the streets of London on his way to the bakery where he worked. People Liam would never see again rushed by him and made their way to their destination. Children ran past in fits of giggles and it made a smile spread across his face. London was one of the most populated and well known places in England, but even though it was filled with annoying tourist, it was home to Liam and he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. He could have driven to work but he much more loved to stroll the streets and people watch you could per say. As Liam was making his way down the street he soon started to hear a guitar being played and a voice. There was a crowd of people and Liam pushed past them with an “excuse me” and “pardon me” every now and then.
As he got to the front of the crowd, he noticed a man with a guitar in his hand, a case opened in front of him (with quite a lot of money he might add) and a lovely song coming from his parted lips. Liam allowed himself to get lost into the song.
Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home
Only know your love her when you’ve let her go
Liam closed his eyes and felt the cold air brush against his face once more. He felt like he was the only person around and all he could hear was the boys soothing voice.
Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same ol’ empty feeling in your heart
Love comes slow and it goes so fast
Well you see her when you fall asleep
But to never to touch and never to keep
Because you loved her too much
And you dive too deep
The song soon started to bring back bad memories that were in that back of his head for so long. He kept his eyes shut, took a deep breath and tried pushing those bad memories back into the back of his head once again.
Because you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you’ve let her go
Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home
Only know you love her when you’ve let her go
And you let her go
The claps of the crowd soon brought Liam back to reality and he opened his eyes. He saw the boy smiling and he nodded his head at the crowd as a ‘thank you.’ People soon started to pull out their wallets and throw money into his guitar case. I felt my hand secure my wallet in my pocket and I finally took it out. I looked at all the money I had inside and I had 50 quid. I pulled it out and placed it into the boy’s guitar case.
“Oh sir, I couldn’t take that much money from you.” The boy said while taking the money out of the case and tried handing it back to Liam.
“Nonsense, you were amazing and you deserve way more than that. Trust me.” Liam said with a smile and the boys cheeks turned pink and Liam wasn’t sure if it was from the cold air or not.
“Well thank you and I promise if I ever make it big, I will make sure to pay you back.” The boy said with a smile and Liam returned one right back.
“And I will gladly accept the offer.” Liam said and he turned on his heels about to walk away before he heard someone yell.
“Wait!” The boy said. “I need your name, you know, in case I do ever end up getting famous, how will I ever repay you if I don’t know your name?”
“It’s Liam. Liam Payne.” He said and his lips turned into a smirk.
“Well Liam Payne, hopefully I will be able to repay you back soon enough.” The boy with the chocolate brown eyes said.
“Do I get to know yours? You know, in case you do get famous and forget about me. I will make sure to hunt you down to get my 50 quid.” The boy chuckled.
“My name is Zayn. Zayn Malik. It was a pleasure to meet you Liam.” Zayn said while stuffing the money into his wallet and then putting his guitar in its case.
“The pleasure is all mine, Zayn.” Liam said while turning on his heels once more, making his way down the street and hoping that he would run into Zayn Malik once again.
***
“Sorry,” I said making my way from behind the counter. “Ended up getting caught listening to this musician. He was quite amazing actually.” Liam said while tying the apron around his waist.
“Quite tall guy? Brown eyes? Black hair? Plays guitar and sings? Pretty damn well I might add.” Harry said while putting some pastries in the oven.
“Um, yeah, how did you know?” Liam asked while leaning against the counter.
“I have heard him a few times. I am actually really surprised somebody hasn’t discovered him yet. Such a shame he is homeless though.” Harry said while walking back over to the counter to fill some pastries.
Liam’s facial expression fell and he felt his heart break a little. “How do you know he’s homeless?” He asked.
“How can you not tell?” Harry asked back. “You can tell by his old raggedy clothes.”
How could Liam not notice that? Well simply because all he could do was get lost into the boy’s voice and charming looks. I mean sure, why else would the boy be playing guitar on the sidewalk? But he just didn’t really put much thought into it at that moment in time. Liam reached over to the freshly cooked pastries and snuck them into his bag while Harry had his back turned. If he found out he was giving away them away for free and to the homeless boy there was a possibly he would become homeless himself. The bell above the door chimed and brought Liam back to reality.
“I don’t pay you to sit and daydream all day. Get to work, Payne!” Harry yelled from the back and Liam walked up the counter and put on his best smile.
“How may I help you today ma’am?”
***
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Liam said while wiping down the counter.
“You sure? I am fine waiting up. You shouldn’t even be walking in this weather. You have a car and I don’t understand why you don’t use it. It’s so bloody cold outside.” Harry said.
“I’m sure and because I only live 15 minutes away.” Liam said.
“Okay. I will see you tomorrow then. Goodnight Liam.” Harry said.
“G’night Harry.” Liam said and then Harry walked out of the shop.
Liam ended up tiding up the place a little bit more before discharging his apron to the hook and locking up the shop. As he stepped outside, he shivered and scurried his way down the street. Tonight felt like it was one of the coldest nights in London and all he wanted to do was crawl under his duvet. As he was making his way down the sidewalk he remembered the pastries in his bag and frowned when Zayn wasn’t in the same spot he had seen him earlier. Liam let out a sigh and figured if he saw him in the morning he would give them to him then. He decided to cut through the park since it was a shorter way home and he wanted to get back to apartment as soon as possible. But as he got closer he noticed a body curled up on the park bench and as he got closer he couldn’t believe who it was and his eyes got wide.
“Zayn?” He asked and the boy looked up.
“Hey, Liam.” Zayn said with a small smile.
“W-What are you doing out here?” Liam asked and his smile fell.
“Pretty obvious, don’t you think?” Zayn asked and this time Liam frowned.
“D-Do you want to come stay at my place? Just for tonight if you want. I would feel really bad if I left you out here in the freezing cold.” Liam asked.
“I couldn’t intrude.” Zayn said.
“You wouldn’t!” Liam said a little too quickly. “I mean, please? I think tonight is one of the coldest nights and you could get really ill.”
“Okay,” Zayn smiled. “If you insist.” He said while getting off the park bench.
“I do. Now let’s go.” Liam said and they started to make their way to Liam’s flat.
***
Liam unlocked his door and walked inside his apartment.
“I’m sorry it’s not much but its home and I like it.” Liam said while putting his coat on the rack.
“Trust me, it’s a lot more then I have.” Zayn said while setting his guitar against the wall.
“I-I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound greedy.” Liam stuttered.
“You are far from greedy Liam. I mean, you’re letting a homeless boy stay in your house. I could be a serial killer for all you know.” Liam’s eyes widened a little and he chuckled.
“But I’m not. So don’t worry about that.”
Liam smiled a little. “Why don’t you take a shower and warm up a little. I can lend you some of my clothes while I wash yours.”
“I can’t take your clothes Liam.” Zayn said.
“Oh I know that. I wouldn’t let you, just until your clothes are all washed.” Liam said with a hint of amusement in his voice and Zayn smiled.
“All right then.”
“The bathroom is the first door on your left. I will wait till you get in and I will swap the clothes.” Liam said and Zayn nodded going to the bathroom.
Liam sighed as he heard the bathroom door shut and the water start to run. He made his way down the hallway and into his room. He opened his closet door and pulled out a pair of underwear, a white t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. He closed the closet door and made his way towards the bathroom and opened the door.
“Liam?” Zayn said.
“Yeah?” Liam asked biting his bottom lip.
“Nothing, just checking to make sure it’s you.” Zayn said and with that Liam replaced his dirty clothes with the fresh clean ones and walked out.
He placed Zayn’s dirty clothes into the washer and started the machine. He leaned up against it and let out another sigh “What the fuck are you doing, Liam?” he asked to himself and made his way towards the closet to grab a pillow and blanket to put on the sofa for Zayn. He then went into the kitchen to put the kettle onto the stove. He took out two mugs and put a tea bag in each of them. He could still hear the water running in the bathroom and he didn’t really blame Zayn for wanting to take a long hot shower. There were so many questions running through Liam’s mind like “How old are you?” – “How long have you been playing guitar?” – “Where is your family?” – And most importantly “Why are you homeless?” he was never really the most nosy person but when he was around Zayn all he wanted to do was be nosy. He hated when people always tried to stick their nose in his business and he didn’t want to do the same thing to Zayn. He didn’t want to do anything that would risk him leaving.
The kettle soon started to make a whistle noise indicating that the water was hot. Liam pulled it off the stove and poured some in each of the mugs. He then heard the water shut off in the bathroom as he began making his tea. He didn’t know how Zayn liked his so he just left it how it was and he could just make it himself. He sat at the table and began sipping at his drink and allowing it to warm up his body. But he was soon interrupted by a voice.
“Um, I didn’t know where to put the towel so I just left it in the bathroom. I hope that’s okay.” Zayn said while standing in the door way and Liam couldn’t deny that he looked better in his clothes then he does.
“That’s fine. I made tea and I don’t know how you like yours, so help yourself.” Liam said and Zayn nodded and went off to make his tea how he likes it. After he was done he sat across from Liam at the coffee table.
“You really didn’t have to do this for me, but I appreciate it.” Zayn said while taking a sip of his tea.
“You’re welcome. But I’m sure I’m not the only person who has helped you out.” Liam said while staring at the boy.
He scoffed. “You’d be surprised.”
Liam looked down at his cup of tea and back up at Zayn. “Can I ask you something?”
“I think you just did. But, yes you can.” Zayn said with a smirk while taking a drink of his tea.
Liam felt his cheeks heat up. “Erm – yeah. How long have you been playing guitar and singing? You’re extremely good at it.”
This time Zayn’s cheeks turned pink. “For about 6 years. I have been playing since I was about 13 and I have been singing ever since I could remember.”
“How old are you now?” Liam asked.
“I’m 19.” Zayn said while staring down at his tea.
Liam frowned and he could feel his heart break. He was only 19 and he was alone on the streets with nowhere to go. He wanted to ask him so many questions but he didn’t want to invade his personal life and so Liam bit his lip.
“I should probably get to bed. I have work early in the morning, but yeah, feel free to help yourself. Watch the telly, use the bathroom, eat, and I set some blankets and pillows on the couch for you.” Liam said while putting his cuppa in the sink.
“Okay. Goodnight Liam.” Zayn said and Liam smiled at him.
“Goodnight Zayn.” Liam said and made his way to the door frame before Zayn spoke up.
“And Liam,” Zayn spoke up. “Thank you.”
Liam kept his body face forward and smiled. “You’re welcome. See you in the morning.”
He made his way out of the kitchen and down the hallway to his bedroom. He closed the door, stripped down to his underwear and crawled under his duvet. If Liam had to be honest he actually wasn’t all that tired but he didn’t know what else to talk to Zayn about. He didn’t want to risk asking a question and he would end up walking out the door. Liam tossed and turned in his bed until his eyes wondered to his nightstand where a picture frame stood. His breathing hitched and he could feel tears weld up in his eyes. He hated seeing the picture there but he also never wanted to put it away. Liam was always afraid he would end up forgetting her even though she was his first love. It had been almost a year since the accident happened and it hits him hard just like the very first time. He stared at the picture for what seemed like hours and his tears soon turned into sobs. He wiped his eyes with his duvet and stared at the picture a minutes longer before whispering “I miss you so much, Dani.” He turned away from the picture and soon drifted off to sleep dreaming of curly hair and brown eyes.
***
Liam groaned in frustration and turned off his alarm. He looked at the time and it read 9:00 AM. He pulled his duvet over his body and slipped on some shorts and a t-shirt. He almost forgot that Zayn was sleeping in his living room and as he got to the living room he saw the boy still sound asleep. He smirked to himself and made his way to the bathroom. He grabbed his toothbrush, squirted some toothpaste on it and began brushing his teeth. As he stared at himself in the mirror he could still see that his eyes were a little red and he tried to shake it from his mind. He spit out the toothpaste and washed his mouth out. He fixed up his hair a little bit and made his way back to his bedroom to get dressed. He picked out a pair of black skinny jeans and a jumper since it was going to be another cold day in London. He made his way back to the living room where Zayn was still sound asleep. He made his way towards the kitchen to make himself a cuppa and for Zayn of course. He put the kettle on the oven and grabbed a muffin from the pantry that he got from the bakery. He nibbled on it until the kettle started whistling and he poured the hot water into two mugs. He put two tea bags in them and started to make his tea. He remembered how Zayn made his last night so he allowed himself to make his too. He walked out of the kitchen and set Zayn’s tea on the coffee table.
“Wake up before you tea gets cold.” Liam said while shaking Zayn a little.
Zayn mumbled in response and brought the blanket over his head.
Liam rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Come on. I will pour this scorching hot tea on you if you don’t get up.”
Zayn pulled the blanket from off of his head and glared at Liam. “And I thought you were a nice person.”
“I am. I gave you a place to stay and made you tea didn’t I?” Liam asked and Zayn nodded taking his cuppa.
“I have to leave for work in about 15 minutes. I have to be in at 10 and it’s already 9:30.” Liam said while taking a sip of his tea and it felt exactly like last night.
“Alright, I will just leave when you do.” Zayn said while drinking his tea.
“Okay.” Liam said while grabbing the remote and turning on the telly to try to break the awkward silence.
He glanced at Zayn every now and then when he had the opportunity. He didn’t want today to be the last day that he would ever see Zayn again. This is the first time in almost a year that Liam has actually enjoyed somebody’s company. I mean, don’t get him wrong, he loves hanging out with his mates but with Zayn it just feels so different. This is also the first time in a year he can feel himself actually starting to have feelings for somebody. He knows that if he mentioned it to Harry, Louis or Niall that he had feelings for somebody they would pretty much force him to take them on a date. But when they found out it was Zayn the homeless boy they would say he was absolutely mad. But the first time Liam heard him sing and play guitar he just felt so alive for once since the accident.
“Erm – Liam? Zayn said snapping me back into reality. “It’s almost been 15 minutes and yeah. You seemed like you were having quite a daydream.” He said with a smirk.
“Uh – Yeah. We better get going. I don’t want to be late for work again or Harry will have my head.” Liam said while turning off the telly and getting up from the sofa.
Zayn nodded and they gathered their things by the front door and walked out of the apartment. The ride down the elevator was completely silent besides the ding after reaching each floor. The doors opened and they made their way outside and finally one of them broke the silence.
“I really can’t thank you enough Liam.” Zayn said.
“It’s okay and Oh! I have something else for you.” Liam said while reaching into his bag. “They are muffins from the bakery.” And he handed over the delicious pastries to Zayn.
“Thanks. I will make sure to savior every bite.” He said with a smirk.
Liam pulled out a pen, an old receipt from his bag and wrote down his number. Then he handed it over to Zayn. “You know; just in case you ever need something, don’t hesitate to call. You can also come back over too, you know?”
Zayn shoved the number into his pocket and smiled. “I do now. Goodbye Liam.” And with that he walked into the distance and Liam didn’t move until Zayn was out of sight.
***
“Hey, mate.” Liam said with a smile.
“Oh hey, Li!” Louis said while looking up and returning the smile.
Liam’s smile deflated a little when he saw what Louis was looking at. “Looking at venues for the wedding?”
“Yeah!” Louis chirped until he saw Liam’s facial expression had kind of fallen and he reached for his hand. “I know this might be hard to look at Li. I can put it away an-“
Liam cut him off. “Its fine Lou, really, it is.” He said attempting to give Louis a fake smile.
“I just feel bad is all, but if you’re really sure.” Louis said while raising an eyebrow.
“I’m positive.” Liam said while nodding his head.
“Oh there you are! I was starting to think you were late again.” Harry said while throwing a towel over his shoulder.
“That was like the first time I was ever late, Haz.” Liam said.
“I know and don’t make a habit out of it.” Harry smiled.
“Hello, love.” Louis said while looking up at Harry and Harry pecked his lips.
“Hello.” Harry grinned.
Liam always thought that Harry and Louis were so adorable together and he was really happy that they found each other. They actually ended up meeting in a club. That was one of the nights that Harry and Niall had dragged him out of his apartment so he could no longer sulk in his misery. They ended up dancing the whole night while Liam drowned his sorrows in alcohol. Harry ended up taking him home and I think you could figure out the rest. 11 months later and they are now engaged and he couldn’t be happier for them.
“Do you guys have any ideas where you want to have the wedding?” Liam asked.
“Somewhere here, defiantly.” Louis said.
“Yeah, we want to have it in the town where we met after all.” Harry said while grinning down at Louis. “And I was kind of hoping you would be my best man, along with Niall.” But this time Harry smiled at Liam.
“I would be honored.” Liam smiled. “But, um, do you think I could get off a little early? I have a few errands I need to run and I heard it’s supposed to snow tonight and I want to get it all done before then.”
“Yeah, that’s perfectly fine. You can leave an hour early. Is that alright?” Harry asked and Liam nodded.
With that the conversation ended by the bell chiming above the door and Liam going to help the customer that walked through the door.
***
“Alright!” Harry yelled from the back. “Have fun with those errands!”
With that Liam stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked out of the bakery and down the street. Liam lied to Harry. He didn’t actually have errands to run he just wanted to go visit a special someone that he misses more than life itself. Throughout the day all Liam could think about was Harry and Louis preparing for their wedding when he should have already had is. Don’t get him wrong, he is really happy for Harry and Louis because they are his best mates and they deserve to be happy themselves. But ever since the accident Liam has just sort of hated weddings and soon he started to hate love in general. He never would have thought that the world would tear him away from Danielle. He thought that nothing bad could ever happen but maybe he only thought that because he was head over heels in love with her and vise versa. But when Liam got that phone call, his whole world turned upside down and he soon found himself in a downward spiral. He would lie in bed all day, he wouldn’t go to work which soon got him fired but at the point Liam could have cared less. The only thing that got him up every morning was now taken from him forever. Sometimes Liam still has trouble getting up in the morning and he doesn’t like to admit that. He convinces Harry, Louis and Niall that he is doing a lot better but he is sure that they have their suspicions and he doesn’t blame them.
Liam walked through the gate and down the stone pathway. He has gotten used to being surrounded by death because his feet lead him here quite often. He knows that Mary Johnson is the grave to the left and James Thomas is the grave to the right and right in the middle is Danielle Peazer. Liam sat criss-crossed in front of the stone slab and sat only a few inches away from it.
“Hey, love.” Liam said with a smirk. It had gotten a lot easier to talk to her over the months. The first few times he came here all he could do was cry and choke on his words.
“Harry and Louis are planning out their wedding, isn’t that great? I know that ours would have been absolutely perfect. It’s kind of hard dealing with all of it though. It took them a few weeks to actually tell me that they were engaged but I don’t really blame them I guess.” Liam could feel tears prickle in the crest of his eyes and he wiped them away.
“I-I need to tell you something. I-I’m starting to get feelings for somebody…and it’s really scary Dani. I don’t want to mess up like I did with you. I don’t want to have to come visit two grave stones instead of one.” Liam could feel himself start to choke up again. “I am so sorry. If I didn’t let you drive that night…if I would have just picked you up like what we had planned that drunk driver would have never hit you. I still blame myself that you’re gone and every time I say that out loud the rest of the guys yell at me. I just can’t help it, you know? I love you so much, Danielle. Even if I do have feelings for somebody else, you will always have a special place in my heart. I will never forget you and I just want you to know that. Rest easy, baby. I will see you again someday.” Liam kissed his hand and placed it on the gravestone. He then got up and left with nothing but a memory and heartbreak.
***
As he walked inside he could feel the burst of heat hitting his face and leaving a slight sting. He pressed the button and entered the elevator once it had opened. The dinging of each floor was the only sound made besides the sound of Liam’s hands moving around in his pockets. The door opened and Liam made his way down the hallway but then he saw somebody sitting up against his door and he smiled when he realized it was in fact the brown eyed boy.
“Hey.” Liam said and Zayn looked up at him and stood up.
“Hey. I really don’t mean to just come here and wait for you to get home, but you said if I ever needed anything to come here and yeah. As you noticed it’s snowing pretty hard outside and I don’t really have anywhere else to go. So, I was wondering if I could crash here again? Don’t feel the need to say yes. I actually feel kind of stupid to just show up here.” Zayn rambled.
“I told you to come here and I’m glad you did. Let’s get inside, shall we?” Liam said and Zayn stepped away so Liam could open the door.
Liam took off his coat and put it on the hanger and he also took off his shoes while Zayn set his guitar and backpack right under it.
“Do you want any tea? I am pretty cold myself.” Liam asked while walking to the kitchen.
“Yeah, love some.” Zayn said while following behind him.
Liam put water into the kettle and set it on the stove. He then took two mugs from the cupboard and set them on the counter.
“It…it really means a lot that you’re doing this for me Liam. I won’t be a problem much longer, I promise.” Zayn said while leaning against the counter looking at Liam.
Liam could feel his heart sink a little because he has been in fact enjoying Zayn’s company. He realized how much he missed having somebody else in the apartment with him.
“Oh…” Liam said sounded disappointed and Zayn gave him a confused look. “You aren’t a problem Zayn. I have actually been enjoying your company if I’m being quite honest.”
Zayn could feel his cheeks heat up. “Oh…” He returned. “Well I feel like less of a burden then.”
“You are far from a burden, Zayn.” Liam smiled while setting his hand on his.
The whistle from the kettle ruined the moment and Liam turned away to fill the mugs up. He placed a tea bag in each of them and made both the teas of how he and Zayn liked it. He handed Zayn his mug and he sent him a smile.
“Let’s drink them in the living room.” Liam said and Zayn followed close behind.
They sat on the sofa and Liam reached for the remote to turn on the telly. But before Liam could ask what he wanted to watch, he said something.
“Who is that? With you in the picture on the bookcase.” Zayn said eyeing the framed picture on the bookcase while taking a drink of his tea.
Liam felt himself frown because in all honestly he had completely forgotten about that picture of Danielle and him on the bookcase. In the picture Liam has his arm wrapped around her waist, kissing her cheek, while Danielle smiled that gorgeous smile of hers.
“That, um – that is a picture of my girlfriend and I. Well, ex now really.” Liam said while taking a sip of his tea.
Zayn chuckled. “Do you have a picture of you and all your ex’s framed?”
Liam felt himself choke up. “S-She died…almost a year ago.”
Zayn’s smile soon turned into a frown. “I uhm – Wow, I feel like a dick right now. I am really sorry for your loss, Liam.”
“Don’t feel like a dick, you didn’t know. I would say its okay but it’s really not. Almost a year since she has been gone and it’s still eating me up inside.” Liam said while staring down at his cup of tea.
“Hey,” Zayn said while resting his hand on Liam’s knee. “I know everything still feels shitty right now but in the end everything will be okay and if it’s not okay then it’s not the end. That is the shitty quote, innit?’
Liam couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “Yeah, I think that’s it. Thanks Zayn.”
He looked puzzled for a moment. “For what? If anything, I should be thanking you Liam.”
“For comforting me, I guess. I don’t really talk to anybody about it. If my mates bring it up I pretty much bite their heads off. But I was uhm – I was wondering about something…” Liam drew out.
“And what is that?” Zayn said while taking a drink of his tea.
“Why are you homeless? I don’t mean to like intrude your personal space but I have been kind of wondering.” Liam said.
“My parents kicked me out. They kicked me out for…” Zayn drew out the sentence. “for being gay. My family was really religious and they didn’t do the whole gay thing. I think my parents knew ever since I was younger. Hell, even I knew I was gay at a young age. They just thought it was a phase; I am sure all parents religious or not think that way. But while my mates were looking at Hannah Richards and saying they would fuck the shit out of her, I would be looking at Chase Johnson thinking I would love to push him against a locker and kiss him. But one day while I was looking at a shirtless sweaty picture of David Beckham and wanking off to it, my dad walked in and shit pretty much flew that night. They said that I needed to stop or I was going to go to hell. They said that they were going to get me baptized again so I could start fresh and get rid of my ‘sins.’ But I told them that they could baptize me a hundred times and I was still going to like boys. That’s when my dad told me to get the fuck out because I was no son of his and I wasn’t welcomed here. And here I am, 8 months later.”
Liam frowned because he couldn’t help but feel bad for Zayn. He was also really angry at Zayn’s parent for kicking him. All he could feel was a rush of sadness and anger rush through his body. Liam pulled Zayn into a hug and he could tell he was taken back by it at first, but then Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam.
“I’m sorry.” Liam whispered into Zayn’s ear. “Nobody deserves that and I mean nobody. But you have survived these past 8 months and that’s something to be proud of. Also, when you get famous and become a millionaire I am sure your parents are going to come crawling back and kissing your ass.”
Liam heard a chuckle escape Zayn’s lip and he pulled away. “How about we get some sleep, huh?” Liam said and Zayn nodded.
Liam got up from the couch and went to put the mugs into the kitchen sink. By the time he came back out Zayn was already crawled under the blanket and fast asleep. Liam smiled to him “Goodnight Zayn.” He said in a low tone and turned off the kitchen light and made his way down the hallway to his bedroom. He stripped out of his clothes and crawled under his duvet. He closed his eyes and soon drifted off into a deep sleep.
“Z-Zayn.” Liam stuttered out as Zayn made his way down to the waistband of Liam’s boxers.
“Mhmm?” Zayn hummed against Liam’s skin.
“I-I want you to suck me off. Can you suck me off?” Liam asked and Zayn grinned up at him.
“I thought you would never ask.” Zayn huffed out and pulled down Liam’s underwear and letting his erection spring free.
Zayn licked the top of Liam’s cock and Liam growled “Don’t tease me.” Zayn smirked and took in Liam’s full length in his mouth, hallowed out his cheeks and started to bob his head up and down.
“Fuck yes, Zayn. Lemme fuck your m-mouth.” Liam said and Zayn let out some sound that Liam took as an acceptance.
Liam moved his hips up and down and he could feel his cock go to the back of Zayn’s throat. He let out a moan in pleasure and a few fuck’s. Liam could feel Zayn hum and it hit his cock causing Liam to fuck his mouth harder.
“M’ so close Zayn.” Liam said and that’s when Zayn pushed down Liam’s hip and licked the pre-cum off of Liam’s cock.
“I want you to fuck me Liam. Fuck me so hard that I will only think of you when I sit down.” Zayn said and that caused the dominate side of Liam to come.
“Ass up now.” Liam said while shoving Zayn’s face into the mattress.
Liam reached over into the drawer beside his bed and pulled out the bottle of lube. He squirted some into his hand and ran it over his cock. He put both his hands on Zayn’s ass and spread his cheeks. Liam would be lying to himself if he said Zayn didn’t have the most beautiful hole he had ever seen. Liam slowly entered himself into Zayn and he let out a loud gasp.
“Fuck Liam.” Zayn yelled into the mattress.
“You’re so fucking tight, I love it. I’m going to loosen you up real good baby.”
Liam was soon fully inside of Zayn and he started out at a slow pace because he could hear Zayn whimpering. But he soon started to pick up his pace and moans soon started to escape through Zayn’s lips.
“Fuck yes. Right…right there Li. Fast go fast baby….fuck!” Zayn yelled.
Liam could tell he was getting close so he picked up his pace like Zayn had requested.
“Liam…Liam…Liam.” Zayn moaned.
“Psst…Liam?” Zayn said shaking Liam a little and when he had awoken, he realized he had a hard on in front of Zayn and it was all a dream.
“What?” Liam mumbled.
“I um – I had a bad dream. Can I uh, can I sleep in bed with you?” Zayn asked.
Liam could feel his cheeks heat up and he couldn’t be happier that the room was dark. He could feel his erection push against his underwear and he huffed in annoyance.
“Yeah, you can.” Liam said scooting over and lifting the duvet up.
“Thanks. Are you um, are you okay? You were making weird noises in your sleep.” Zayn said and Liam was sure that his cheeks were just as red as his.
“M’fine. Sometimes I just make noises in my sleep is all.” Liam said.
“Oh, okay. Goodnight Liam.” Zayn said.
“Night, Zayn.” Liam said and stayed away until he knew the boy was asleep.
“Stupid fucking boner.” Liam mumbled down at his erection and laid on his stomach so it pushed into the mattress.
The sounds of Zayn sleeping soon put Liam into another deep sleep.
***
Liam,
I decided to let myself out early today and I couldn’t allow myself to wake you up. Did you know that you look adorable sleeping? I bet you didn’t or maybe you do. I’ll see you around.
Zayn xx
Liam felt his cheeks heat up by the fact that Zayn had called him adorable. Even though he didn’t actually have to work today he knew he had to text Louis, Harry and Niall for a meeting. He opened a new text and put in all 3 of their names.
Meetin in 30 at the bakery? Have things I need 2 tell u guise – Li
He got responses immediately.
Considering I am already here I will see you in 30. – Haz
Already here with Hazza. See you in 30 Li! – Lou
Bakery? I am there. – Nialler
Liam rolled his eyes at Niall’s response and decided to go take a quick shower before he made his way to the bakery. He was nervous to tell the guys that he had been letting Zayn stay at his place and that he has feelings for him. Liam got in the shower and prayed for the best.
***
“No, I am not mental.” Liam scoffed from across the table.
“How long have you been hiding this from us, Liam?!” Harry continued to yell.
“Can you stop yelling? You’re acting like I am harboring a fugitive.” Liam said.
“Please stop yelling Haz. Let’s just hear Liam out, alright?” Louis said while resting his hand on Harry’s arm.
“Fine, explain Payne.” Harry said.
Liam sighed. “When I was walking to work last week there was a crowd of people gathering around something and so I went to check it out. It just happened to be Zayn singing and playing guitar and when he sung, I just, I don’t know. I kind of just got lost in his voice when he sang and played guitar. Then I talked to Harry about him and you said he was homeless and I just felt really bad so I snuck some pastries and I-“ Harry cut him off.
“And you’re giving him free food. That is coming out of your paycheck Liam.” Harry said and Louis shushed him so Liam could continue.
“That night while I was walking home and it was the coldest night in a long time I might add I saw him curled up on a park bench, a park bench you guys. I felt really bad and I couldn’t allow him to stay outside and get terribly ill. So I invited him back to my apartment, I let him shower, borrow some clothes and he crashed on my couch. Then the day it started to snow I cut through the park to see if he was there but he wasn’t and I was kind of worried. But when I got back to my apartment he was sitting in front of the door. He looked so cold and hungry; I couldn’t just tell him to fuck off. I mean, I could but we both know I am not that kind of person.” Liam said and the boys just kind of stared at him.
“So you’re letting this person, you know nothing about I might add, stay at your house? Yeah, that’s mental Liam.” Harry said.
“I am going to have to agree with Harry on this one Li.” Louis said and Liam glared at him.
“You are just agreeing with him because he is your fiancé and you don’t want to mess up your chance of scoring tonight.” Liam snapped and Louis recoiled.
“What about you muffin boy? You haven’t said one thing. Are you taking their side?” Liam asked the innocent Niall who was nibbling at his muffin.
“I mean, they do have a point. The only thing you know is his name.” Niall said.
“I know a lot more then you think.” Liam said while folding his arms across his chest.
“Do you even know why he is homeless Liam?” Harry asked.
“His parents kicked him out for being gay Harry. They kicked him out because they were religious nut jobs and couldn’t accept his sexuality. Hearing that broke my heart, he has been alone for 8 long months on the streets of London. I wish I would have found him sooner because nobody should ever have to go through that and I know you can relate to that Harry.” Liam said.
Harry could in fact relate to that because his step-father wasn’t that keen when Harry had come out gay. They fought a lot and their relationship basically turned to shit. But overtime he realized that Harry wasn’t ever going to chance and he tries to put it beside him to have the best relationship with him.
Harry frowned. “You should have included all that when you were making your big statement.”
Liam sighed. “Wanna know the worst part? It has only been a bloody week and I can feel myself having feelings for him. It scares me you guys because…because I haven’t had feelings for anybody since Danielle died. I also feel like it’s too soon to be having feelings for somebody but I just can’t help it. Ever since the day I heard him sing and play guitar I have been so infatuated by him. Last night he came into my room saying he had a bad dream and we slept in the same bed together. I haven’t shared a bed with somebody else since Danielle and it just felt so right. Then when I woke up he was gone and I just felt so sad and lonely all over again. This boy is doing things to me and I have only known him a week.”
“So you got laid?” Niall said with a mouth full of muffin, all 3 glared at him and Louis hit him upside the head. “Oui!”
“No, I didn’t get laid Niall. But I talked to him about Danielle – kind of. He pointed at a picture of her and I and he asked if it was my girlfriend. I told him more like ex really and he asked if I kept pictures of all my ex girlfriends and I around the house and when I told him she had passed, he felt like a proper dick. You guys know I never like talking about Danielle to anybody, not even you guys if I have the choice. It was hard talking about her to Zayn but it was a little easier and when I am around him I don’t think of her that much. That also really scares me because I don’t want to push her to the back of my mind and forger her just because I like Zayn.” Liam said starting to choke up.
“Liam,” Harry said while setting his hand on Liam’s. “You’re never going to forget Danielle because she was your first love. But you also can’t allow yourself to sulk over her death for the rest of your life. You know she would want you to be happy and find somebody else. You deserve to be happy Liam and you shouldn’t deprive yourself of that. If you really like Zayn then maybe talk to him about it. If things really work out between you two then maybe I can get him a job here. We will just have to see how things go.” Harry said.
Liam sent a weak smile towards Harry. “Thanks Haz. That – That really does mean a lot.”
“We’d do whatever we could to make you happy again Li Li.” Louis said while sending Liam a smile from across the table.
“Ya and I’m sure this Zayn guy is a good guy besides bein homeless n’all.” Niall said with a cheeky grin.
“You guys are the best.” Liam said with a smile.
“Come on up, up, I feel the need of a group hug.” Harry said while standing up and everyone gathered around him.
They all wrapped their arms around each other and whispered I love you’s. But if you were to ask them if this ever happened they would probably all deny it. Now all Liam had to do was find Zayn to tell him how he feels and hopes he feels the same way. But it wasn’t that easy, it was never that easy.
***
I don’t want to pretend that I’m stronger for it all.
I don’t want to pretend that the sadness is gone,
‘Cause I want to know that I’m steady on my feet.
I don’t want to pretend, so peace will be real to me.
Zayn stopped playing and the crowd of people clapped and a few even let out a few whistles. Liam was sad he missed the majority of the song and he almost completely forgot why he was here in the first place. He waited for people to throw their money into the case and for the crowd to die down before he could talk to Zayn. But before Liam could even speak Zayn beat him to it.
“Hey Liam!” Zayn said with a smile.
“Erm – Hi Zayn.” Liam said while Zayn knelt down to put the money into his wallet.
“What brings you around? Seems like we’re always bumping into each other, not that I mind.” Zayn said looking at Liam and he could feel his cheeks heat up.
“I-I was wondering if you wanted to come back to mine? I wanted to talk to you.”Liam said while rubbing the back of his neck.
“I’d love to.” Zayn said with another smile making Liam’s heart flutter. He put his guitar in his case and picked it up. “Shall we?” Zayn asked.
“We shall.” Liam said sending Zayn a smile.
They walked down the street to Liam’s apartment and all Liam could feel were nerves and a nauseating feeling in his stomach. This is going to be the first time in almost 2 years that he has to come out to somebody and say he has feelings for them. He didn’t know how Zayn was going to react and if he even liked him back. All he knew at this moment in time is that he wishes that Danielle were alive so he didn’t have to deal with any of this.
***
“So, what did you need to talk about?” Zayn asked while he raised one of his eyebrows.
“I-I don’t know how to say this. I haven’t done this in almost two years and I am just really nervous like to the point I feel like I am going to throw up. My nerves are through the roof and I don’t think I have ever been this nervous in my whole entire life, except when Danielle was in the hospital. I know I have only known you for a little over a week but I just, I don’t know. Something about you is so captivating. The way you sing and play guitar just makes me feel so alive and less lonely in the world. When you told me what happened to you my heart completely fell into the pit of my stomach. I think you’re one of the strongest people in the world because of what you have gone through the past 8 months. I also think you have one of the biggest hearts in the world and you couldn’t hurt a fly even if you wanted to. I talked to you about Danielle and I never do that, not even with my best mates. I just feel so comfortable around you and you actually make me happy. I think I could make you happy too if you just gave me a chance or maybe I already make you happy. If I already make you happy then please let me continue because I would love to make you happy forever. I guess what I am trying to say is that I really like you Zayn, a lot.” Liam finished and he realized he just babbled and rushed it like an idiot. Zayn’s mouth was slightly open and Liam could feel his heart racing.
“I- I, wow. I mean, I like you too Liam. Who wouldn’t like you? I actually feel honored that you even like me because I never thought I really stood a chance. I thought I was just some lost cause you decided to help out for a little. A few people had helped me out before but most of them always tried to come onto me and when I would push them off, they would just make me leave. After that I kind of just started to reject offers but when you offered I knew you were different. Then you gave me your number and you told me I could come back if I ever needed anything, that’s when I knew that you genuinely cared and it reminded me what it felt like to have somebody care about you. I also feel really comfortable around you like I can tell you anything and you won’t judge me for it. I also feel like I have known you for longer than a little over a week. I love how we can both just open up to each other and just listen and comfort each other. I’m glad I met you and it’s not even because you gave me a place to stay, pasties, a hot cup of tea and clothes. I’m glad because you actually show that you care about me and I could never be more grateful for that. I am really happy that I can make you happy because you make me happy Liam. You make me feel less alone and like I have a purpose in life. I-I really like you too, a lot.” Zayn said as a lump began to form in his throat and Liam had tears forming in his eyes.
Liam reached forward and pulled Zayn into a hug. He put one hand on his neck and one on his back. Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam’s chest and dug his face into the crook of his neck. They stayed like this for a little while and the only thing that broke the silence was their breathing and sniffles. All Liam could thing about was ZaynZaynZayn and all Zayn could think about was LiamLiamLiam this was the first time in a long time that they were both crying out of tears of happiness. When they pulled away Liam brushed his thumbs against Zayn’s cheeks to wipe his tears away. Zayn let out a little chuckle and smiled.
“I bet I look horrible right now.” He said and Liam shook his head.
“No, you look absolutely stunning.” Liam said and Zayn shoved him a little.
“Please, no need to lie to me love.”
“I would never lie to you. You might have been homeless and be wearing the same clothes you have worn for day’s maybe even weeks, yet you’re still so beautiful to me.” Liam said.
Zayn titled his head in confusion. “Been homeless? What do you mean? I’m still homeless.”
Liam scoffed. “Please, you think I am going to let the boy I really like continue to live on the streets? You’re mental Zayn Malik.”
Zayn smiled. “You’re so wonderful to me.”
“Now there are only two more questions.” Liam said while wrapping his arms around Zayn’s neck and playing with the back of his hair.
“And what are they?” Zayn asked.
“Will you be my boyfriend?” Liam asked with a hopeful smile.
“Mhmm let me think about it for a minute.” Zayn said while trying not to break into a smile.
Liam playfully smacked him and Zayn chuckled. “Hey! No need to get violent. But to answer your question, yes, I would love to be your boyfriend, Liam Payne. Now what’s the other question?”
Liam smiled. “Can I kiss you?”
“You don’t even have to ask.” Zayn said with a smirk.
With that Liam leaned forward and connected his lips to Zayn’s. Nothing has ever felt like more of a perfect fit in Liam’s life and he finally felt like maybe his life was falling back into place. He could feel the kiss getting deeper and passionate. Soon enough he found himself on top of Zayn and their tongues were exploring each other mouth. Liam really really wanted to have sex with Zayn but he defiantly didn’t want to rush things too fast. He pulled apart, looked down at Zayn and then crawled off of him.
“What are you doing?” Zayn asked as Liam stood up from the couch.
“Put on your shoes. I want to take you somewhere.” Liam said and Zayn stared at him.
“Right now?” Zayn asked.
“Yes, right now. Now let’s go.” Liam said while putting on his coat and his shoes.
Zayn was right behind him and he slipped on his shoes and coat. Liam grabbed his keys and they were out the door. Then he was on his way with Zayn to his destination.
***
“You didn’t have to take me here Liam.” Zayn said and Liam shook his head.
“I wanted to take you here.” Liam said and they made their way through the gate.
Liam decided to take Zayn to the cemetery where Danielle was buried. It was always hard for Liam to come here and he knows it always going to be hard no matter how many years she has been dead. But he knew he just had to say goodbye for good so he could finally move on, not only for himself, but for Zayn too. He walked down the stone path and he felt Zayn grab his hand. He looked at him with a small smile and it kind of felt like a push of encouragement. When they arrived at the gravestone Liam breath didn’t hitch this time and his heart didn’t fall to the pit of his stomach and he was sure it’s because Zayn was right next to him.
“Danielle – Zayn, Zayn – Danielle.” Liam said motioning back and forth from the gravestone.
“Hello, Danielle.” Zayn said with a small smile.
“This is the guy I told you about before, the one I had feelings for. I just wanted you to meet him because I am sure you would love him just as much as I do. I don’t want you to think that I will ever stop loving you because I won’t. It’s just my time to move on and start loving somebody else who I can wake up every morning with and spend the day with. But there will always be a special place in my heart for you. Sometimes I think that you sent Zayn to me somehow because you were tired of me mopping around all the time.” Liam chuckled. “If you did, I just wanted to thank you. Ever since I met Zayn I remembered how it felt to be happy again. I will never forget the memories we have made together and those memories will keep you alive in my heart. But I think it’s time that I say goodbye so I can put 110% effort into Zayn and I’s relationship. I love you Danielle and thank you for everything. I will never forget you.”
Zayn wrapped his arm around Liam’s waist and kissed his temple. “She would be so proud of you Liam.”
Liam nodded and whispered “Let’s go home.”
With that they turned around leaving the past behind them and walking straight towards their future hand in hand.
***
The last month has been hectic but one of the best months that Liam and Zayn have both had. Zayn ended up getting a job at the bakery just like Harry had promised. Liam and Zayn see each other from morning to night and they never get tired of seeing each other. They’ll goof around at work and Harry will say he made a mistake of hiring Zayn but they all know that he never really means it because Harry could never take away Liam’s main source of happiness. They will spend nights cuddled up on the couch watching the telly with occasional make out sessions. The apartment soon started to feel less lonely and started to feel like home shortly after Zayn moved in. Liam ended up packing up things that were Danielle’s and things that reminded him of her in a box. He put the box in the back of the closet where he could always look at them if he ever needed them. The place that once held loneliness and sadness started to blossom into happiness and love.
Going to be working a little late tonight, apparently Louis is feeling a little ill and Harry needed to leave. Even though we both know that Louis has a boner the size of Russia and just needs a shag. I love you babe xxx – Z
Liam smiled, replied and set his phone on the coffee table. He grabbed the picture from the table and placed it into the frame. He got up from the couch and placed it on the book shelf replacing the old one that once had him and Danielle. He stepped back and admired the picture that held him and Zayn. This was the beginning of a new start and Liam knew that as long as they both had each other that everything was going to be okay. All it takes is a little sadness to bring out the true happiness in your life.