Work Text:
This week, it was Ushijima's turn to decide where to go. Every weekend one of them chose a place to go out and have fun. In the past they've gone to movie theaters, restaurants, amusement parks, plays and performances, shops, the mall, and sports games, but never the zoo. Ushijima spent very little time convincing his friends to agree.
"Isn't this the zoo where a really annoying bird lives?" Semi asked. They sat in front of the ticket line, waiting for Reon to purchase their tickets.
"God, the bird's annoying," Shirabu complained.
The speed of his reply made Ushijima raise an eyebrow. "Do you have personal experience with this bird?"
"Last year. He doesn't leave you alone if he gets to you." Shirabu grabbed a clump of his hair with his hand. "I'm not going anywhere near that."
Yamagata leaned forward, low and headfirst to be seen past the others. "Are you afraid of birds?"
"No."
Yamagata's tightly contained smile didn't convince Shirabu of his innocence.
"I'm not afraid of birds," Shirabu said. "It's this specific bird."
"So you're afraid of this specific bird?"
Shirabu crossed his arms and grimaced, his mouth opening to complain as he looked away and closed his eyes to avoid Yamagata altogether. "No, I just hate it, that's it."
"You know this means we're going to see it first," Kawanishi said.
"I'm not going with you."
"We're all going to go." Kawanishi glanced to Ushijima. "Don't you want to see this special bird?"
Ushijima gave a slow slight nod, his mouth also slight but his eyes sincere. "I do."
"I hope he bites all of you."
"He bites?" Semi asked.
"Well...no...but he doesn't even need to."
Reon returned and passed out the tickets. He handed one to Shirabu. "Did something happen while I was gone?"
"No. I just gave them a warning." Shirabu grabbed the ticket from him.
"A warning? What'd you do?"
"Shirabu wants to bite all of us," Kawanishi said in unconcerned beats as he accepted his ticket.
"That's not what I said." Shirabu shoved Kawanishi. Kawanishi let the momentum roll through him.
"Apparently a menace lives here." Kawanishi placed himself a scoot away from Shirabu. "Some bird."
"Is it a dinosaur's ancestor? Because, you know, that's the way it's supposed to be," Yamagata said.
As Shirabu got up, he stepped on one of Yamagata's feet, condensing all of his weight into a stomp. Yamagata flinched.
"That's enough. Let's move inside the zoo," Ushijima said. He stood, and everyone else accompanied him as the atmosphere resolved.
"Where're we going first?" Kawanishi asked.
"Let Wakatoshi decide." Semi placed a hand on Ushijima's shoulder. "Well?"
Ushijima's eyes flickered to the side.
"You want to see the bane of Shirabu's existence, don't you?"
"I'm curious," Ushijima admitted.
"Look at what you did," Yamagata told Shirabu. "It's your own fault."
"I'm not going."
"Where're you going then? All by yourself?"
“To see the monkeys, maybe," Shirabu muttered.
Ushijima addressed Shirabu with a dismayed mouth shift. "Please come, Shirabu. This trip is for everyone."
"You want me to visit my sworn enemy," Shirabu said, pausing every few syllables with the heaviness of implied questions. "That's a terrible, not family-friendly idea."
"What's worse: being harmlessly harassed by a bird, or being embarrassed by wandering around alone?" Kawanishi asked.
Shirabu traced his fingers across his eyebrow, rubbing the tension in his forehead. "Fine."
He refused to tell them where the bird -- Satori -- lived, but Ushijima asked a staff member for information. They quickly found their way to the aviary-enclosure.
"Isn't there a horror movie about birds?" Kawanishi asked. "Did you watch that one, Kenjirou?"
"No, I didn't." Shirabu brushed his hand over his hair. "Is this going to be a bit from now on?"
"Until we forget about it."
Ushijima recited the information he received from the zoo staff to remind them. "Red-tailed black cockatoos vocalize at all operating hours of the day. They should be easy to find. One of them is socially aggressive and likes to stay in one place, at a height easily accessible to all visitors so he can be given attention."
"Yeah, we know." Shirabu kicked a tree. "This small section of earth is the door to hell."
Birds flew out of the tree in a startled flurry, and they flocked to target Shirabu in their descent. His yell choked in his throat as he threw his arms up to defend himself. He turned and ran.
"I can't believe he got kicked out by zoo animals," Kawanishi said in marvel.
Ushijima continued ahead, turning and scanning for birds. Parrots and finches chattered at loud piercing warbles and shrieks around him. Most of them flew right by or remained in the tree branches to perch.
"So it's a cockatoo? One of those big threatening birds?" Semi asked. He leaned onto a wooden rail and balanced his hands on it.
"And that means you should be nice to them." Reon held his hand out to a parrot. It cautiously leaned headfirst into his hand, and after nothing happened, it nudged him.
Another parrot appeared and landed on Semi's hand. Semi tensed and closed his eyes to keep himself from jumping.
"It's on my hand. What's it doing? Is it going to bite?" Semi asked.
"No." Yamagata distracted the bird and petted its back.
Ushijima spotted a black cockatoo perching on another wooden rail. It held its head high to glance around, neck arched to be slightly and characteristically intimidating. It looked at Ushijima and tilted its head.
"Is this Satori?" Ushijima asked Reon. "I really want to meet this bird."
"I think that is Satori," Reon reassured him. "Shirabu complained about him to me once."
Ushijima approached the perch within the bird's eyesight and lowered his hand on Satori's head.
"Good morning, Satori. Is this petting to your liking?" Ushijima scratched Satori's neck.
Satori squawked and tilted his head to offer a better angle. His squawking segued into cheerful warbling and cooing.
A young boy walked up to Ushijima. "That bird's a jerk."
"Is he?" Ushijima asked.
Satori lunged out from under Ushijima's hand and snapped his beak at the boy with a hiss. The boy hissed back and mimicked the lunge from a safe distance.
"Agitating birds is what makes them aggressive." Ushijima scratched the side of Satori's head, and Satori relinquished the hissing stance to incline his head for better scratches. Satori warbled his contentment.
"Have it your way." The boy shrugged and hurried away. Satori cawed.
"You shouldn't be rude," Ushijima scolded him.
Satori shifted his feet on the perch and regarded Ushijima with a squint. He cawed.
"You're a very loud bird."
Satori rose on his feet and cawed louder. Ushijima crossed his arms. His facial expression didn't change, but Satori continued to shriek, screeching to the air and opening his wings. Ushijima suspected he needed to balance himself from forcing so much air out of his lungs.
"i can't feed you. I don't have any food, either." Ushijima turned. "Do you want to come pet him, Oohira?"
Reon assessed Satori's screech-filled beak. "I don't think so."
"Are you sure?"
Satori stepped back and forth and started screaming. He reached for Ushijima's hand with his foot and tugged it back.
Ushijima let his hand be tugged to humor him, but he pulled it back. Satori stopped screaming and reached for it again.
"I have to go soon."
Satori clawed his foot up and down in the air and squawked. He warbled bubbly noises to the rhythm of his foot.
Ushijima took a few steps to walk away, and Satori started screaming again. He scuttled along the rail and hopped to another one to chase him. Ushijima stopped.
Satori yanked on the sleeve of his jacket and scratched his foot on the fabric, cutting off his yelling to bite the sleeve. Ushijima gave in and returned his hand to scratch his head feathers.
Yamagata came to Ushijima's side. "Is this the jerk bird?"
"He's not a mean bird, but he won't leave me alone." Ushijima fluffed the feathers near his eye, and Satori closed his eyes and relaxed with more warbling.