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She didn’t know what she was gonna do. She knew she wanted to be with Chris; she loved him, that was a given. She loved that he had helped her through so much in so little time. He made her realize that her mental illness did not define who she was and for that she was grateful. But she also loved her job. It was her dream job. As a kid, she had lined up all her stuffed animals and taught them about her favorite Dr. Suess book. But now, she had this decision to make and had no idea what to do.
Chris had been calling her, leaving messages for her. Each one he left, he sounded more upset and more defeated. It sounded like he was giving up and that hurt her. She didn’t even know why. She was the one avoiding his calls. Sammie knew she should call him back or at least answer his phone calls. Afterall, the reason he left was her.
He felt like a total jerk for leaving. He knew he wasn’t totally out of line. He had asked her a simple question: did she choose him or her job? But she hadn't chosen one or the other. He took that as her choosing her job over him. He had tried to call her to make up, but she hadn't answered any of his calls. Chris had no idea if Sammie had even listened to his messages.
Chris gave it one more chance. He picked up his phone with her contact information on his screen. When he reached her voicemail he gave it one last try.
“Hey, ba- Sammie, it’s me... Chris. I...um...I’m calling to tell you I miss you. I hope I don’t go over my time here. But I wanted to express how much I love you and miss you.” He took a deep breath before he began playing for her.
I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love, I'm still looking up
And when you're needing your space, to do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting, to see what you find
'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up
“Damn is this thing still recording?” Chris spoke into the phone. “Anyway, I hope it’s still recording... Sammie, I miss you so much. I just wanted to let you know how much you mean to me. Just... please give me a call? Please tell me you’re okay. I’ll be here, patiently waiting for you, no matter how long. Okay, I gotta go, the guys are threatening me if I don’t go with them to the movies. Just please call, okay? I love you.”
Chris hung up and let out a deep breath trying to hold back the tears that pricked in the corners of his eyes. He loved Sammie with all his heart. She knew about his weaknesses and his own demons and yet she never made him feel anything less than strong. Whenever he was around her, he could be his true self. She never cared for his celebrity status. He was eternally grateful because he didn’t have to tiptoe around her.
After Sammie listened the message from Chris, her phone buzzed again, only this time it was Chris’s mom. She quickly collected herself before answering.
“Hey, Lisa. How are you?” Sammie asked, sounding overly chipper to mask her sadness.
“Hi Sammie. I’m good. Are you busy today? I was thinking you and I could go into town and get some lunch?”
“Yeah, that would be nice.”
“Perfect! I’ll meet you downtown at the local mexican restaurant?”
“Alright. See you soon.”
Sammie started to panic a bit. She wondered how much Lisa knew about her and Chris. She knew Chris told his mom everything and wondered if he told her about the current situation between the both of them.
***
The ladies met outside of the restaurant downtown, ironically it was one of Chris’s favorites. Once inside, the ladies were seated at a table. Having been there multiple times, both ladies placed their orders as soon as their waiter came to their table.
“How are you?” Lisa asked again, the second time in the last hour. But this time there was a touch of concern in her voice.
“I- I’m good. Still getting use to more work as department chair. But good otherwise. I’ve started doing yoga more often with Kellie. I’m thinking of taking classes to be an instructor by the time school ends.”
“That’s great! Chris had mentioned you starting up yoga again. I think it’s great. It’s very therapeutic from what I’ve been told. Helps release the stress I’m sure.”
“Yeah it kinda helps.” Sammie took a gulp of the margarita she ordered as soon as it was set on the table.
“Sammie, sweetie, is everything alright?” Lisa asked out of concern.
“You can tell can’t you?”
“I can tell you don’t seem like yourself. Like you’re afraid to tell me something? Whatever it is, I’m sure I know and understand what you’re going through.”
Sammie let out a deep breath before she began.
“I’m sure you know this already, but Chris and I... well, I don’t know what we are anymore. A few weeks ago, I told him about work and a very important decision I had to make regarding my job and I wasn’t exactly forthcoming with any information. Well, after not answering his question, which should have been simple because I love him, but I also love my job, I panicked.
“He just left. He walked out the door without me answering. But truth be told, I had no idea what I was gonna say. I want both. I want my job and I want him. And then this morning I had a voicemail. He called me last night. He was singing to me. He pretty much told me he won’t give up. He’ll do anything. And he still loves me. He loves me even though I didn’t answer him, even though I haven’t answered any of his phone calls for a month. He still loves me.”
Sammie took another long sip of her drink. Not a sip, she drank half of that margarita after that little speech. She felt better getting it off of her chest.
“You are right, dear, Chris did tell me. He called me that next morning to tell me. He feels guilty for walking out on you like that. But I’m not gonna sit here and tell you what he said. I know you two will eventually work things out, you did it before.
“But there is one thing I want you to know. As bad as you feel about what happened, he feels just as bad if not worse. There is one thing I want you to do. I want you to call him back. I know he’s been calling you multiple times a day, that’s Chris. And I know you’re just as stubborn because you won’t answer. But next time he calls, I want you to answer. Can you promise me that?”
“I can.” Sammie nodded. “I’ll answer him next time he calls. I love him Lisa. I really do. I can’t imagine my life without him. I just hope we can work this out.”
“If I know you and I’m pretty sure I know my son, you two will work it out. You’re much stronger than you think.”
The ladies ate their lunch and continued with much better conversation. Sammie even got Lisa to agree to help out at her school's next musical.
***
Once home, Sammie changed into more comfortable clothing. She didn’t have anywhere to be for the rest of the weekend and was going to take full advantage of it. Grabbing a wine glass and a bottle of wine from her little selection she settled down and started catching up on her DVR. She was watching the most current episode of The Walking Dead when her phone started to ring. She closed her eyes as she picked it up hoping to stay calm if it was Chris who was calling. Fortunately for her it wasn’t, it was her brother.
“Hey Mikey. What’s up?” Sammie answered.
“What is this about you and Chris? Did that asshole breakup with you again? Because I swear to God Sammie, if he-”
“Woah! Slow down there dude. After this conversation, I’m gonna kill Kellie for opening her big mouth. No, he didn’t break up with me again. The only time we broke up, it was me. We’re not broken up. We’re just having a little break right now.” Sammie took a gulp of her wine.
“I’m glad Kellie told me. Sammie, you’re my little sister. I care a lot about you, you know that. And I wanna punch this asshole for breaking your heart. Back when you came to visit, not too long ago, Dad told me what he said. It made me think better of him that what I had been thinking. But he said he is one-hundred percent committed to you. Well, him walking out is not being committed. That’s him being a coward, Sam.”
“Mike-”
“I’m not done. Let me finish. He stood up to Dad. Did you know that? He told Dad he wasn’t going to mold his answers for him to hear what he wanted. You know how brave that is? Your last boyfriend, Jon, that asshole who nearly broke you, spewed a bunch of shit that Dad and I wanted to hear. I beat myself up still about that and what he did to you. It took a lot after you and Chris left for me to see he was the real deal. I mean he even said he’d go to the end of the world to make sure you’re happy. I don’t think I ever said that about Mariah until I was asking for her hand in marriage.
“I liked the guy, Sam. But I don’t know about now. Kellie said what’s going at work. And I have to say, Sam, you need to choose. I know you want both. I know you. You want to please people, but you can’t always do that. Just remember what you decide you have your family and friends supporting you.”
“Thank, Mikey.” Sammie sniffled back a sob.
“Please don’t cry, Sammie. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I just wanted to tell you all of that. Kellie asked me to talk to you.”
“It’s not you who made me cry. I promise you that. Maybe I should thank her.”
“Ya know I love ya, right? You’re my little sister. I just wanna do what I can to make sure you’re always happy. But I gotta get going. Mariah and I promised the kids we’d take them to a movie tonight and it’s almost time for us to go. I’ll call ya sometime this week. I love ya.”
“Love you, too, you dork.” Sammie hung up and smiled as she shook her head. As much as she was pissed at Kellie for calling Mike, she was happy he called and gave her some good information.
After her talk with Mike, she spent the rest of the evening watching tv, drinking wine, and snuggling with Beau on the couch. Sammie was hoping Chris would call tonight, but figured he’d call sometime soon. She just wanted to talk to him and figure out what their next step was.
***
The following morning, Sammie had gone to yoga. She wasn’t gonna do an extra session, but felt with lunch and her phone talk yesterday, she needed to clear her mind and release some of her stress.
On her drive home, she decided to be the bigger person and call Chris. He was more than likely awake by now and probably getting ready to watch the Patriots. The phone only rang twice before Chris answered.
“Sam?” Chris hesitantly asked.
“Yeah it’s me.” Sammie quietly answered.
There was a long silence before Sammie spoke.
“I guess you’re wondering why I’m calling. I had lunch with your mom and the subject of talking to you came up. And, well, I figured I should call. I listened to your voice message yesterday and-”
“You did? You listened?” Chris seemed surprised.
“I did. I’ve listened to all of your messages, Chris. But the last one, well, I liked it the most. I just wanted to apologize for everything. I just needed some time and space. I shouldn’t have put you in a position where you were an option. It shouldn’t have come down to that. I should have just chosen-”
“Sammie, baby, let me talk. Just one sec. I need to apologize. I shouldn’t have asked you a question and just left. That wasn’t fair to you. I was just upset. I wanted you to pick me without hesitation. And when that didn’t happen, I freaked.”
“Chris, I want both still. I can’t make up my mind. I’ve tried. Every time I’m at work all I think about is my job and how much I love it and what would I do without it. And then when I’m home I find myself going through photos of us, or I’m on the internet and come across a new photo of you and I just want you. But I really just want both. I’m not ready to make my decision, Chris. I can’t yet. I’m sorry if you thought that was why I was calling. Truth be told, I wish when I called you, I would have my answer.”
She could hear Chris sigh before he began speaking.
“I appreciate you calling, Sam. I’m not gonna sit here a lie. I wish you were calling to choose me. But we can’t always get what we want. I mean you should know. You can’t have both. And soon you’ll have to make that decision. But I’m not gonna tell you who to pick and why. You have to figure that out. But anyways, I gotta get going. I’m meeting the guys for the game. Just call me when you figure out what you decide, okay?”
“Before you go, I want you to do something. I want you to put yourself in my shoes. What would you do? What if Marvel called and said they didn’t like you dating me because word got out I suffer from anxiety and depression and I’m medication. And they don’t need their people dating average joes with mental illness or something like that. Or maybe it’s because they found out I didn’t like Age of Ultron and went on my twitter and facebook and talked crap about it. What would you do? Don’t give me an answer, think about it. You love you job as much as I do, so do it. Put yourself in my shoes.
“Okay. You have fun with the boys. I’ll call you later.” Sammie hung up and took a deep breath. She didn’t really have any expectations with the phone call. She was just happy he answered.
Chris was still pissed that Sammie hadn’t made up her mind. To him, it was an easy choice. She should pick him. If she lost her job, he would help out. He had already talked to Carly about it and she was going to talk to her boss and see if there was a way she could get Sammie a job, if worse came to worse. But by the conversation he had with her, he wasn’t sure if he needed Carly.
He was still upset with all of this. How hard was it for her to pick him? He’d already told her he loved her and that he wasn’t giving up on her. The least she could do was pick him.
But he kept thinking about the question she asked him. Putting himself in her shoes. He wasn’t going to deny he loved his job. He talked all the time about his love for Marvel and how playing Captain America has made him want to be a better person. At the same time, he loved Sammie. He loved her generosity, her always putting others before her.
Chris had spent a lot of time thinking about this last month. About him and Sammie and what this whole decision she had to make was all about. He realized he wasn’t mad at her, but mad at the whole situation she was put in. It wasn’t fair. He was pissed at those who put her in this decision, which happened to be her boss.
***
The following day, Chris got up early and headed to Sammie’s school. He made sure he got there after her so she didn’t see his car as she pulled in. Chris remembered her telling him the doors opened a half hour before school started. He grabbed the hat he had in his glove compartment, putting it on so he didn’t risk getting made in public.
Chris walked into the school, found the office and walked past the reception desk, heading straight to the principal's office.
“Sir, you can’t go in there! You need to sign in,” the receptionist yelled, trying to get Chris’s attention.
Jennifer stuck her head out of her office and smile appeared on her face.
“That’s okay. He’s allowed it. It was a last minute meeting.” Jennifer called, alerting the front office.
Jennifer gestured, allowing Chris to enter her office. Once he was in, Jennifer closed the door and took a deep breath before following him.
“Have a seat, Mr. Evans.” Jennifer walked around to take a seat at her desk. “What can I do for you?”
“I wanna know why you’re giving Sammie an ultimatum. I think that’s a little excessive don’t you think?”
“No, not at all. We have a reputation to uphold here, Mr. Evans.” Jennifer took off her black blazer revealing a tight blue silk tank. “We pride ourselves on good academic achievement. And we’re worried your relationship with Ms. Davis could affect that. If the students found out, it might consume them, take away from their studies and we can’t have that.”
“Ms. Williams-”
“Please call me Jen.”
“Okay. Jen. Let me get this straight. You’re worried about the reputation of the school. You’re worried the students will lose focus in their studies because what? Word gets out a teacher of your is dating Captain America? Well, they probably already know since my photo got taken while I was here a couple months ago. Is there another reason then? Because the reason you gave me is a load of shit.”
“Well, Mr. Evans, word has gotten out. And we are afraid of the media coming asking for interviews from Ms. Davis about your relationship or from other staff members and-”
“And ruining your reputation?”
“Mr. Evans,” Jennifer got up and walked around her desk. She sat on top of her desk in front of Chris, hiking her black pencil skirt up a bit crossing her legs, leaning down a bit showing some of her cleavage. “I’m sure we can work out a deal now can’t we?” She played with his jacket a bit, as she stared at his luscious, full lips.
“Ms.Williams,” Chris stood up quickly and moved towards the door. “I wanna make something very clear to you. You say you are worried about the media, I will have no problem telling the press that you are trying to fire a good teacher to get into her boyfriend pants.”
“Who do you think they’re going to believe, Mr. Evans? A very well liked and honorable educator, or some actor who was lucky enough to get a role of some comic book character?”
“Don’t worry, Ms. Williams. You might have your own people who happen to work in the system. Well, so do I. I don’t think you understand the cost of good PR. And on that note, I have to get going. I have a meeting this morning that I cannot be late for. It was nice meeting you and talking to you. Hope you have a good day.” And try to not molest your next appointment, Chris thought to himself.
Chris walked out of the office. He couldn’t believe the nerve of that woman coming onto him like that. He only hoped the information Carly said she had dug up on Jennifer Williams was enough to put an end to this nightmare for Sammie.