Chapter Text
Castiel has fallen, so has his brothers and sisters. He would never like to admit that he was hurting. Dean tries to help Cas, he really does but it´s not like there is a book called ¨How To Help Your Best Friend, Who Is a Fallen Angel, Who You May Or May Not Have A Crush ON, With Depression Or Whatever He Needs.¨
Castiel is in his room at the bunker, which is where he spent most of his days now.
Castiel is human now, which meant he needed to eat but he never left his room; Dean brought Cas food three times a day but Cas never came out of the room until Dean was gone, and when Dean came back there was just a empty plate in front in the door.
Castiel cried almost every night and Dean took note of this listened through the door, tried his hardest to be there for his best friend, but Cas is so much more to Dean than just a friend, he is family and he loves Cas, but not like he loves Sam. He wants to be there for Cas, wants to be more then friends and more than family.
Castiel´s whole body hurt, and burned from the inside out. He hated himself, every god forsaken inch of his body, but this was his punishment, this was his father punishing him for what he has done.
Castiel found it hard to get out of bed but he did, only when Dean gave him food, or to use the bathroom that was built in the room. Cas knew he was growing weak but he didn´t care, he felt worthless and there was no reason to care about if he died or not.
Castiel is broken. He is broken and hurt and he knows Dean is trying to help but Cas doesn´t understand why someone would care for him.
Castiel is scared, scared to look at himself in the mirror because he didn´t like the person looking back at him.
Castiel is lost even in his own bedroom. He feels he can tell up from down, left from right, or even the nightmare from reality.
Castiel is not sure how long he has been here but it feels like months but he doesn´t really care. He hears Dean knock on the door, Dean never said anything to him anymore because he knew there would be not reply, it was just 2 knock, then silence, then footsteps, then more silence. But this time Dean wanted to talking to him again.
¨Castiel? I made you PB&J for lunch, I know it´s your favorite.¨ Dean spoke. Cas almost cried at Dean's words, he missed Deans voice so much.
Castiel he rolled out of bed and had no problem doing it like he normally does, he ran to the door opening in to see Dean. Dean, the righteous man he once saved from hell and would do it again if he need to.
Castiel knocked the plate out of his hands and kissed him.
Castiel missed Dean.
Castiel loves Dean.