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The whole thing really starts when Professor Sawyer takes 50 points off of Slytherin, due to Leslie Willis being disruptive during her Muggle Studies class.
As far the students know, however, the trouble begins when Professor Danvers storms into the Wednesday afternoon Muggle Studies class and demands to speak with Professor Sawyer “right now, Maggie, or this is going straight to Headmistress Lane!”
“I’m in the middle of a class, Alex.” Professor Sawyer replies, and smiles without looking away from the technical drawing that her wand is tracing out on the blackboard. “So I guess I’ll have to hear from Lucy herself on this one.”
Professor Danvers grits her teeth at that, and her voice goes cold and quiet, but Professor Sawyer’s smile, if possible, only gets wider. In even voices, they trade polite but pointed barbs, and just when the students’ eyes are about to bug right out of their heads, Professor Danvers smoothly turns around and stalks out of the room in the middle of a reply from Professor Sawyer. Not before she promises to follow up on the matter later, though.
---
“Later” means in the privacy of Maggie’s department-issued office, where Alex is looming over Maggie’s department-issued table, while Maggie tries to catch up on her marking.
“I know you Hufflepuffs like to follow rules to the letter, even stupid ones.” Alex hisses, “But taking 50 points off a student for interrupting your classes is a new low.”
“I guess this is the part where I say that you Slytherins all think you’re above the law, and justified in breaking it.” Maggie replies, and it’s little comfort to Alex that she finds Maggie’s habitual smile as equally infuriating as she finds it charming.
“But you won’t say it.” she replies, satisfied to see the flash in Maggie’s eyes which means that her words have hit their mark, “Not out loud, because it wouldn’t be fair, and you Hufflepuffs do like to act sanctimonious about that sort of thing.”
“This isn’t just about rule-breaking, Alex.” Maggie sighs, leaning back in her chair. “Willis’ behaviour went far beyond that. She isn't just inattentive in class; she intimidates the other Slytherins into not learning as well. Smythe hasn’t handed in a single piece of homework since Willis laughed at her for completing her first one.”
Alex shrugs off the disturbing ring of truth to Maggie’s statement, and soldiers on. “Leslie wants to be a Quidditch announcer, and Siobhan wants to work for the Ministry. It’s unfair for you to punish them for being inattentive in a class that’s never going to benefit them.”
“You’ll find that I’m scrupulously fair, Alex.” Maggie’s smile has finally vanished, and Alex feels a savage burst of triumph at the coldness in Maggie tone as she replies. “And I happen to think that the Ministry cannot survive without embracing the advancements in Muggle technology. It is, in fact, one of the key reasons that I gave up a career at the Ministry to come teach here instead.”
The thing is, Alex does agree with Maggie’s stance on Muggle technology and the two of them have had many wistful discussions before about how Muggle Studies should be a required course all the way to NEWT levels.
Admitting that now, however, feels perilously close to admitting defeat itself, and Alex already feels both heady and overwhelmed from the way that Maggie is staring at her, intent and unsmiling, all pretense of working on her marking having disappeared.
“Just stay away from my students, Maggie.” Alex states instead, and she leaves; she flees.
---
Alex has seen her around, of course, and their teams have played Quidditch matches against each other, but Slytherins and Hufflepuffs don’t mix well as a rule, so she’s never actually talked to Maggie Sawyer.
Sawyer is hard to miss, though. She’s the first competent Keeper that Hufflepuff has had in years, she’s famously brazen about her preference for girls, and she gets pretty decent grades. Rumour has it that the Hufflepuff head has already marked her out for Prefectship the following year.
Alex, on the other, is used to being overlooked. After all, she’s the older sister of someone who has been a celebrity practically since birth.
And yet, Alex could swear that Maggie Sawyer notices her sometimes. That Maggie stares at her at the start of Quidditch games, right before their teams are about to lift off. That she tilts her head in Alex’s direction whenever Alex answers a question, during the early morning Potions class that they have together.
She dismisses it as wishful thinking. She’s Alex Danvers. Girls like Maggie don’t notice girls like her.
...Not that Alex wants any girl to notice her.
---
“Maybe you are taking this too seriously because, deep down, you know that she has a point.” the Headmistress comments, taking a sip of iced tea.
“That is ridiculous, Luce.” Alex grumbles, because Lucy Lane might be headmistress of Hogwarts, and act like she is second-in-command to God himself, but she was Alex’s friend long before she was either of those things.
Lucy arches an eyebrow at her. “Explain if you will, then, why you let Maggie get away with it without submitting an official complaint to me? And why you switched around Siobhan Smythe's schedule, so it doesn't coincide with Leslie's?”
Alex sighs and picks up her own cup in defeat.
“You know me too well.” she grumbles, with irritated fondness.
Lucy and her have always understood each other, both during their time at Hogwarts, and then during their years as field agents of the newly reformed Order of the Phoenix. It started out with commiseration: both of them eclipsed in the shadow of illustrious siblings, both of them facing great expectations from loving but overbearing parents. But many years of shared missions, inside jokes, and a common love for Quidditch, had turned mere commiseration into a solid friendship.
“I think it’s cute that you’re so protective of your students.” Lucy comments, grinning at the slight flush that colors Alex’s cheeks at the mention of cute , “But I don’t understand why you get so upset every time Maggie is involved. She can be tougher on the students than I prefer, but she’s always fair.”
Alex grunts. The thing, is Maggie is fair, in that relentlessly judgmental Hufflepuff way. Even Alex isn’t far enough removed from the faculty gossip chain to know that no one has forgotten the time when Maggie had, while still a student, caught six Hufflepuffs harassing Lena Luthor for her family loyalties. She had taken 100 points each for each of them, and enraged Hufflepuffs had woken up the next morning to house points in the literal negative. Soon after that, Maggie had lost her prefectship under some flimsy pretext.
“You’re not the one that has to deal with her smirking at you everytime you try to argue with her.” Alex replies therefore, instead of contesting Lucy’s statement.
“Maybe try not to argue with her as much then?” Lucy suggests. “You used to work pretty well together in the Order, I recall.”
Alex scowls. “That’s neither here nor there.”
“Just keep an open mind about her, and try to get at the heart of why this is really bothering you.” Lucy insists. When Alex says nothing for a few minutes, she tries again. “Promise me that you will.”
“I promise.” Alex sighs. “After all, I owe you.”
And she did. When the Order of Phoenix had disbanded after the defeat of Lex Luthor’s defeat at the hands of her younger sister, and Kara had decided to return to Hogwarts to finish off her remaining two years, Alex had thrown away her plans to be an Auror without a second thought. Kara might be the prophesied Savior of the Wizarding World, and the first witch in a hundred years to be able to perform wandless magic from birth, but Alex was still her big sister, and watching over Kara was still Alex’s duty. Lucy, then newly appointed as Headmistress of Hogwarts, had ridden to Alex’s rescue, offering her a job as Associate Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts.
“I do know you too well.” Lucy shoots back. “And you’re not doing it because you owe me. You’re doing it because you know I’m right.”
Alex scowls again.
“There’s that ever-laughing Alex Danvers that we know and love,” Lucy teases.
“Talk about something else or I’m cursing you into the next year, Lane.” Alex threatens. There is mock heat in her voice, but her sentiments are heartfelt. She doesn’t want to even think about Maggie Sawyer, or her infuriating smiles, or the melancholy in her eyes when she looks at Alex sometimes.
Lucy acquiesces to Alex’s demand and changes the subject. They talk about many things - classes, the challenges that James - Lucy's husband - is facing as second-in-command at the Ministry, the Muggles’ recent success at sending automatons to other planets, Quidditch (Lucy is an ardent supporter of the Harpies, while Alex has an undying and as-yet-unrewarded devotion to the Falcons) - before Alex finally gets up to leave.
“It’s getting late.” she says reluctantly, looking at the clock, which shows it to be past midnight. She has a joint Defense Against the Dark Arts class scheduled the following morning for Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw third years - a nightmare that Alex doesn’t want to face without at least a few hours sleep.
“Of course. You had better leave before people start talking. I wouldn’t want to be hexed by the Slytherins for seducing their poor innocent Head of House.” Lucy waggles her eyebrows at her, and Alex truly does laugh then.
---
The first time Alex really meets Maggie is when Kara begins what Alex sarcastically refers to as “Fight Club.”
Kara had apparently gotten the idea from Lena Luthor, who had read Hogwarts: An Updated History, and told Kara all about the secret Defense Against the Dark Arts club that had been created to prepare the students against Lord Voldemort’s attack.
“We need to prepare ourselves for anything that Lex Luthor will throw at us.” Kara insists.
“So a Luthor gave you the idea to create a duelling club, to prepare students to fight another Luthor?” Alex asks skeptically, but Kara only pouts at her like she does whenever Alex reminds her of Lena’s decidedly infamous family.
But Kara is persistent, and with some help from James Olsen and Winn Schott, she’s located the Room of Requirement and recruited an entire classroom’s worth of interested students. (Alex notes, however, that Lena herself is conspicuously absent from this club that she has inspired.)
Still, Alex finds herself caught up in the rush of it all, and is recruited into teaching some of the first and second years basic defense technique. She’s taking a break while they practice disarming each other, when someone speaks behind her.
“That’s a clean Expelliarmus you’ve got, Danvers.” the voice is amused and curious at the same time, “But I thought that someone who broke through an Imperio curse from one of Lex Luthor’s Death Eaters would favour heavier spellwork.”
Alex spins around as if burned. It’s Maggie Sawyer, with the slight smile that seems to have permanent residence on her face.
“You know my name?” Alex blurts out, momentarily stunned.
Maggie looks at her like Alex suddenly grew an extra head, and then her smile turns into a full-on grin. “Slytherin’s star Seeker? The brilliant student who got special permission to take the OWLs a year early? Do I know your name ? It would be hard not to.”
---
It doesn’t end there, of course. (It never does.)
The very day after Alex had barged into her lecture, Maggie teaches a very frustrating afternoon class, where everything she writes on the board erases itself the moment she turns away. The Ravenclaw fourth-years making up half of the class are too busy quarreling over what spell it must be to pay any attention to Maggie’s lecture, and the Slytherins making up the other half look far too puzzled by the entire situation for Maggie to buy their innocence.
Alex doesn’t have a much better time of it, teaching an early morning DADA lecture to fifth-year Hufflepuffs determined to avenge their head of house. They know Alex too well to attack her with spells, and have learned far too much from their mentor about how to hit her where it hurts. Not a minute goes by without a hand shooting up politely in the air, to request that Alex re-explain - in detail - a very basic concept that she has just gone through. She swallows her tongue and sucks it up, but by the tenth time she’s shown them the wand movement for Impedimenta (“It’s the flick I don’t understand, Professor. Are you supposed to move your hand to right or to the left? Why not up or down?”), she's never been happier to hear the bell ringing to signal the end of class.
And so it goes. Hufflepuffs sneaking out to the kitchens for a midnight snack find themselves caught in a redirection charm, that lands them in the path of a patrolling prefect. A Howler is sent to the Slytherin table at breakfast. The Hufflepuff Head Boy speaks in rhymes for a week, after falling prey to a well placed hex.
It comes to a head at the Quidditch yard, when Slytherins walk down there for their habitual Sunday morning practice, and find themselves bombarded by flocks of paper cranes, intent on pecking at any uncovered area of skin.
Which is how Alex finds herself stalking from the yard back to the castle at oh god o’clock in the morning, covered in shreds of paper, having been called by her panicked students to disperse the spell.
“Danvers!”
Alex grits her teeth. As if this day couldn’t get better.
“Sawyer.” She states, priding herself on the even tone of her voice, as she turns to face what has been the bane of her peace of mind for the past few weeks.
“There you are!” Maggie calls out, face breaking into an amused grin as soon as she walks up to Alex. Stretching up slightly, she reaches out a hand and - Alex’s heart starts doing the macarena - dislodges a massacred paper crane from Alex’s hair. “I think it’s about time we put a stop to this nonsense, don’t you?”
“Shouldn’t you be telling your students that?” Alex snarls. Her heart rate is returning to normal as Maggie’s hand retreats, she’s grumpy from her sleep being interrupted, and she feels geared up for a good argument right now. “I’m not the one who decided to practice enchanted origami with a Quidditch field.”
Maggie, as always, refuses to take the bait.
“You know our students takes our cues from us.” she replies instead, shifting her weight and tilting her face upwards to hold Alex’s gaze. “They think we’re fighting, so they act to defend us. If this is ever going to stop, we’re going to have to take the lead on this.”
“Fascinating.” Alex grumbles. “Just let me know where I can drop off your friendship bracelet, once I’m done making it.”
Instead of replying, Maggie takes Alex’s hand in her own. Her warm fingers curl up against Alex’s frozen ones. Alex promptly forgets how to walk.
“Easy!” Maggie murmurs, one arm circling around Alex’s waist to steady her as she stumbles. Maggie chooses that moment to propel the both of them forward. “See, they’ll see that we’re just two friends, taking a walk, having a laugh about the whole business. Smile.”
Alex obediently stretches her lips.
“...Nevermind.” says Maggie, after a moment, as two first-years run away from the sight.
Alex snorts, and breaks into a genuine smile when Maggie giggles in response.
“So what next, Professor Sawyer?” Alex asks. “We hold hands around a fire and sing kumbaya?”
“Remind me to update you on Muggle slang.” Maggie murmurs. “And what is next, is that you and I resume our Sunday dinners. My practical lessons are suffering from lack of input from you, and what better way to show the students that we’ve put our differences behind us, than dining together?”
Alex considers the request, which is not a surprising one. Alex makes a continuous effort to keep herself up-to-date with Muggle technology, and Maggie has as much experience fighting Death Eaters as Alex does. As a result, and due to being the two most inexperienced teachers on the staff, they have made a habit of working together each Sunday to plot out their respective course outlines for the week.
But Lucy’s words are still ringing in Alex’s head ( try to get at the heart of why this is really bothering you ), and perhaps that’s why she hesitates instead of nodding an affirmation.
“Don’t tell me you’re still mad about Willis, Alex.” Maggie sighs, seeing her reluctance. “I thought you’d come around after Slytherin’s 350-10 win over Hufflepuff last week.”
“360-10, if the referee hadn’t outlawed the last goal.” Alex replies instantly, house loyalty outweighing other reservations.
Maggie snorts, but her voice is amused. “Pretty sure punching the Keeper with the Quaffle and sending him spinning through the hoop doesn’t count as a goal, Danvers.”
“You have to admit it was spectacular to watch.” And oh, Alex has missed this, their easy banter.
“That it was.” Maggie agrees gamely, even though this is her own house’s Keeper that they’re talking about. “I’ll come to your room at seven tonight as usual, then, to go over the plans?”
Alex nods without a second thought.
“Great. It’s settled.” Maggie gives Alex another grin - Alex’s heart decides to try out backflips this time - before striding away.
Try to get at the heart of why this is really bothering you.
The truth is, Alex already knows the exact reason why, and so does Maggie, and therein lies the entire problem.
---
Maggie becomes an invaluable part of Kara’s little fight club. Kara is the heart of the group, and Alex is adept at teaching both defense and attack spellwork, but Muggle-born Maggie is all about tactics. She teaches them how to send secret messages, using Muggle encryption codes that a blood purist like Lex would be too proud to learn, and how to train in formations the way that Muggle militaries - like the one her father serves in - do.
And when it comes times to practice, Alex and Maggie always seek each other out by unspoken agreement. Alex reasons that it makes sense; they’re evenly matched in power, and Maggie’s inventiveness and tactical mind balances out Alex’s greater skill.
Some deeper part of her knows there is something else there, though, in the heady rush she feels when Maggie blocks a curse that Alex had spent all night practicing, and in the flush that rises up her cheeks when Maggie grins at her proudly from the ground, after Alex knocks her out with a perfectly timed Stupefy.
Little by little, Maggie becomes an irreplaceable part of the ragtag group that Kara has built. The next year, before Alex and Maggie are due to start their seventh year at Hogwarts, Lex Luthor breaks all hell loose in the Wizarding World. When Alex tells Maggie that she is leaving Hogwarts early to join the newly resurrected Order of the Phoenix - headed by J’onn, a former Auror - Maggie joins her without hesitation.
---
“And I’m going to pair the practical lessons with an additional tutorial that week, to make sure that they get a solid idea of the theory behind the spellwork.” Alex finishes and then looks up, suddenly becoming aware that Maggie has been watching her with head tilted for some time now, as she rambles about her lesson plans for the upcoming month.
“I’m sorry.” Alex says, embarrassed. “I got a bit caught up. You didn’t have to sit and listen to all that.”
She hadn’t meant to get so into it. It’s just that Maggie and her always get like this, invested in planning their lessons and figuring out tactics, and just talking . To Alex, the hours always seem to rush by; there’s never enough time in the day for her to say everything she wants to say to Maggie.
“You have a passion for what you teach.” Maggie replies now, matter-of-fact. “Nothing wrong with that, Alex. Speaking of teaching, I have an early morning class tomorrow.”
She glances out the window, and Alex feels preemptive disappointment rise in her.
“You should probably call it a night, then, I guess.” she says.
Instead of replying in the affirmative, Maggie simply shoots another glance at the window and then looks back at Alex, a challenge in her eyes.
“Say, after all that trash-talking you did about Quidditch earlier,” she begins teasingly, “What do you say to a friendly race?”
Alex doesn’t bother with a reply; she doesn’t think words could do justice to the leap that her heart takes at Maggie’s words. Instead, she raises her wand and summons her broom, aware of Maggie doing the same beside her.
The rush of flying has always awakened something fierce inside Alex, and she finds herself grinning and shouting as they rush over the lake. The cold wind buffeting them only makes her laugh harder, and she can hear Maggie whooping with sheer exhilaration behind her.
When they come to a stop, both red faced and breathless, it’s Maggie who breaks the silence.
“See that wasn’t too bad, was it?” she shouts over the wind, and Alex has to grin.
“You do know how to show a girl a good time,” she yells back, and is rewarded with an answering grin from Maggie.
Maggie challenges her to another race back to the castle, which Alex wins decisively. Maggie disembarks behind her, muttering fondly about trust-fund Slytherins with Firebolts.
“Don’t blame the broom because you can’t keep up.” Alex tries to smirk, but she knows the look on her face is probably more goofy than smug.
Maggie always seems to bring out this side of her. Maggie is adept at bringing out every side of Alex that thought she had trimmed away, of awakening every guilty pleasure that she thought she had subdued.
“Hope I didn’t keep Professor Danvers too long past her bedtime.” Maggie replies, but she lingers in Alex’s room nevertheless, instead of leaving, and there is the fond smile again. Maggie smiles a lot, at everyone, but Alex has catalogued all the Different Smiles of Maggie Sawyer, and this one has never been directed at anyone but her.
Alex swallows and looks down. Her heart feels too large for her chest again, and she knows that she is transparent. Painfully, obviously transparent.
“Don’t do this, Maggie.”
“Do what?” Maggie tilts her head and stares at Alex, an unfathomable expression in her eyes.
“This.” Alex gestures at the spaces between, then at herself, and then at the entirety of Maggie. “We’re talking and it’s casual, and then you look at me like that, and bring it all back.” Her voice cracks for a second, before she brings it back into control. “Please don’t do this to me.”
Maggie, for once, doesn’t have a smile or a witty repartee. She simply stares at Alex, as if deep in thought. Then she nods to herself, and shoulders her broom, as if coming to a foregone conclusion.
“I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow, Danvers.” she says, businesslike, and exits Alex’s room.
---
J’onn pairs them together on their first mission for the Order, a simple recon to gather intel on one of Lex’s potential informants within the Ministry.
Of course, nothing is simple where Lex Luthor is concerned. Alex and Maggie walk into a trap, and are lucky to escape with a few bruises and burns.
“The nurse said it should heal up completely in a couple of days.” Alex reassures Maggie, who had received the worst of the injuries, on account of rushing into a one-on-one encounter with one of the Death Easters.
Maggie nods, but she is staring off into space, her right hand absentmindedly stroking the injury.
“You know,” she says suddenly, “I was never good at working with people, until I met you.”
Alex’s breath get stuck somewhere between her lungs and her trachea.
“We make a good team.” Maggie finishes, her eyes still focused into the distance, at something Alex can’t see.
The words are commonplace, but Alex feels something open up inside her heart, a space that has always been closed up till now, a space that she had never even known existed.
---
Kara passes her N.E.W.T.s with flying colours, and the very day she submits her graduation request to her Head of House, Alex tenders in her own resignation to Lucy. She has no real concerns about her immediate future; the Danvers have money, and ever since J’onn was made Head of the Auror Department following Lex’s defeat, he’s made it clear that Alex would have a place there, whenever she chose to take it.
“Right on time.” Lucy comments, as she scans Alex’s resignation letter. “I have a replacement lined up for you already, and she’s willing to sit in on some lessons before she officially starts next year, so it should be a smooth transition.”
“Replacing me before I’m even gone?” Alex raises her eyebrows. “That’s cold, Lane.”
“I’m only ever practical.” Lucy shrugs, winking at Alex. “And besides, if you’re in need of comfort, I’m sure you can cry your heart out in the arms of your soon-to-be coworker at the Ministry.”
Alex’s heart leaps to the highest of highs, and then drops with a thud. She asks the question despite knowing already what the answer would be. “And who might that be?”
“Well.” Lucy raises her eyebrows, as if surprised that Alex doesn’t know this already, “Nothing’s official yet, of course. Unofficially, though, James tells me that Maggie has finally agreed to Minister Grant's request that she join the Defense Department.”
Alex stares at Lucy, jaw working soundlessly, and then stalks out of the room.
She walks unseeing and unhearing through the hallways, focused only on the object of her quest. Alex finds her eventually, in her habitual classroom, cleaning up after a lecture.
“You’re applying to the Ministry.” Alex begins without preamble, when Maggie looks up inquiringly.
Maggie blinks, and then shrugs. “I was only hired to cover for Tsang’s maternity leave, and with her returning next year, I’m officially off the payroll. Cat’s been after me to join the Defense Department for two years now, and I intend to take full advantage of her offer.”
“You can’t!” Alex grits out. “ I’m going to be an Auror. I’ve waited my whole life to work for the Ministry. And now you swoop in, and you tell me you’re doing the same thing, and you won’t leave me alone and-” she pauses, and says her next words accusingly, “-you still won’t stop smiling at me like that!”
“I thought you’d want to see a friendly friend around the Ministry, Alex.” Maggie fakes mock hurt, before lifting her eyebrows. “Or are you afraid of the competition?”
“I’m not afraid of you!” Alex retorts, and then freezes, as Maggie absentmindedly reaches out and tucks a flyaway strand of hair away from Alex’s face.
“Then what are you afraid of, Alex?” Maggie asks casually, as if people do this every day in their lives. As if people push errant strands of hair away from their coworkers’ face with their soft fingers every day, as if people look into their coworkers’ eyes like their existence begins and ends with them, or say their name reverently, like no other name in the world is ever worth saying.
Alex Danvers is a creature of reason, and so she does this next thing systematically, even though the blood is roaring in her ears and her breathing seems to have become ragged. She takes Maggie’s outstretched hand and forces it firmly against the wall, the impact moving Maggie’s entire body backwards, even as Alex advances on her.
“Assaulting another professor is grounds for dismissal.” Maggie states, but she doesn’t move to remove Alex’s hand, and there is something else in her eyes, far removed from annoyance or anger or fear, that makes Alex’s throat go dry. Her grip slackens. Maggie still makes no effort to free herself.
“Why won’t you leave me alone?” Alex grits out, “Leave my system, leave my body; why are you inside me, and why can’t I ever rid myself of you?”
Maggie’s mouth is working and Alex can see her throat swallowing, but no sound comes out.
“Why don’t you want me?” Alex whispers, finally.
---
The first time Alex kisses Maggie is after the completion of their first successful mission for the Order.
Her own right arm is a gouged mess, and there’s a huge gash of a scar running from Maggie’s jawline right down to her neck. Still, Alex’s blood is running high from the sheer triumph of it all, and when Maggie turns towards her with that beautiful smile of hers, she throws caution to the wind. She forgets that she’s never felt this strongly for a girl before. She forgets that she’d never even known till Maggie that she was allowed to feel this way about a girl. Softly, gently, as if the world depends on it, Alex pulls Maggie forward and crushes their lips together.
For one exquisite moment, Maggie responds. She shivers, and her hands clutch at Alex shoulders, as she whispers something into Alex’s mouth that sounds like “finally”.
And then the moment passes, and Maggie is removing herself from Alex and stepping back, smiling gently even as her words about “fresh off the boat” and “not going to work out” and “not ready” cut into Alex like knives.
---
There is a pause after Alex voices the question. Then-
“I’ve always wanted you.” Maggie’s admission is soft, defeated, barely audible above Alex’s own ragged breathing.
“No.” Alex closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, steadies herself. “You don’t get to say that to me; not now, not after all these years.”
“I never told you the other reason why I delayed accepting Cat Grant's offer.” Maggie speaks over her, and there’s a weight to her words that give Alex pause, that makes her think that the coming words might be the most important she’ll ever hear in her lifetime.
“Who do you think was the reason, Alex?” Maggie’s voice is soft. She is so close that Alex can feel the movement of Maggie’s lips against her own skin every time she speaks, and suddenly Alex’s breath catches, because Maggie cannot be implying what Alex thinks she’s implying.
“But you said-” she fumbles, and then starts again, her tone accusative despite her best efforts. “You don’t get to do this. You said you didn’t want me. You said I wasn’t ready for this. You turned me down. You don’t get to break my heart and then tell me something like that.”
Alex’s voice feels raw by the end of her rant, and she can feel her eyes prickling, but Maggie only nods, as if in acceptance.
“I’m sorry that I hurt you.” she replies. “But I’m not sorry for turning you down. I said you weren’t ready but,” she makes a conciliatory hand gesture when Alex opens her mouth to argue, “the truth is, neither was I. You were so important to me, and we were both so young. I was terrified at the thought of losing you, if it never worked out between us. I asked you what you were afraid of, but I was the one who was afraid, all this time.”
Alex stays silent, digesting everything Maggie has said, and the things she’s left implied but unspoken.
“You stayed for me?” Alex asks finally, hating how quiet and vulnerable and uncertain her voice sounds.
“I knew you’d never leave Hogwarts until Kara graduated.” Maggie gives her that sad half-smile that has always scrambled Alex’s brain. “Being part of the Defense Department is all I ever wanted to be, but I could wait a few years to get there, if it meant seeing you everyday, and knowing you were safe.”
And suddenly Alex is crying, because she’s wanted Maggie to see her from day one, and Maggie does see her, see her exactly as she is, no more and no less, and Maggie loves her, Maggie was willing to give up her lifelong dream for her.
“I was so scared of letting myself love you.” Maggie is stroking her cheeks now, hands gently brushing away the tears. “I never thought you would settle for someone like me.” - Alex shakes her head in violent disbelief at that - “and I never thought I could do right by you.”
“You’ve always done right by me.” Alex mumbles through her tears, and she would be ashamed of losing both her pride and dignity in one go like this, but Maggie smiles at her like the sun breaking through clouds, and Alex knows that it was all worth it.
---
“She’s good for you, you know.” Kara comments, as they wait on the platform for the Hogwarts Express, to take Kara back on her last journey home from school.
Alex groans. Kara is looking at her in that proud way that makes Alex wonder when they had switched places as big sister and little sister.
“You smile so much more when you’re around Maggie.” Kara continues. “And you actually have fun, and you threaten to murder people a lot less.”
“This is not a conversation I want to have with my baby sister.” Alex says firmly, miming sticking her fingers into her ear. “And you had better get to boarding now, if you want one of the window seats.”
“Oh no, I told Lena I’d wait for her on the platform, see?” Kara explains, looking earnestly at Alex. “We’re going to stay at your mom’s for the summer.”
Lena?
“Luthor?” Alex asks out loud.
“Lena.” Kara corrects her reproachfully. “Come on, Alex. After everything she did for us?”
Which, fine. Alex thinks it was incredibly brave of Lena to act as a double agent between Lex and the Order during the war, and Lena has stayed over a few weeks of every summer at their house over the past six years. But, one would think she would want to go home and put her family affairs in order, what with Lex imprisoned in Rozzkaban and the rest of the Luthors under trial.
“Nevermind.” Alex says, shaking her head. She doesn’t know what’s going on there, and for her own sanity, she doesn’t think she wants to know. “Just as long as she doesn’t try to alphabetize my bookshelves like last time.”
“Danvers!” A voice calls behind Alex.
Kara is watching her knowingly, and that’s why Alex schools her face to form a moderate smile rather than a grin, as she turns to face Maggie. All her efforts fail spectacularly when faced with Maggie’s own thousand-watt smile.
“Ready to go?” Maggie asks, giving Alex a peck on the cheek, and then reaching up to give Kara a one-handed hug, the other hand holding up her Cleansweep, to which a ratty suitcase is strapped. The two of them are supposed to report to their respective departments at the Ministry today.
“Just as soon as this one and her friend gets on the train.” Alex replies, gesturing with her head at Kara.
Kara rolls her eyes. “I faced down a Dark Lord at sixteen, Alex. Get going. I promise nothing’s going to happen in the five minutes that I’ll have to wait to board the train.”
“Kid’s got a point there.” Maggie comments, reaching up to ruffle Kara’s shaggy blond mane, while Kara sticks her tongue out at her. The “kid” is a full foot taller than Maggie already.
Alex hesitates for a long moment, and then nods.
“I love you.” she tells Kara. “Make sure to send us an owl the minute you reach home.”
Then Alex takes Maggie’s hand, and turns resolutely away from the platform, towards the misty fields, towards an uncertain future, towards their life together.