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“You like Italian, right?”
Leanne frowned, halting her writing and looking up at him. When she fully understood the question she pulled back and took her glasses off, setting them down on the chart she was working on.
“I do.”
Ethan nodded his head as he leaned his elbows against the counter. “Would you like to go to dinner with me -- again?”
She grabbed her glasses and slipped them into her front scrubs pocket. “I suppose.”
He nodded again, “Good, tomorrow. About ten thirty.”
“Why so late?”
Ethan stood up as Risa moved to get a chart. He stepped to the side and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Well, tomorrow is our swing shift, we won't be off until about ten. So I figured that is enough time to go from here to the restaurant.”
Glancing at the chart, and content in her notes, she closed it and set it to the side of the counter. Shifting on her feet she wrinkled her nose, “Well, you've thought of everything haven't you?”
He watched as she moved from the nurses station, following her he nodded, “Just about, so - is that a yes?”
Leanne inhaled sharply as she opened the door to the lounge. She went to the fresh pot of coffee, grabbing a paper cup she filled it half way. She then reached for two sugars and slipped them in the coffee, grabbing a red stir stick she swished it around before pulling back and tossing it in the trash can.Ethan saw the hesitation, he didn't blame her. Their first date wasn't that great, in fact you probably couldn't even call it a date really.
They had gotten off three hours past their shift. Both tired and starved from a two day run of code black. Their breakfast, which started as a date, ended as a desperation for food and coffee. But Ethan figured, after twenty four hours of code black and a fourteen hour shift, a date wouldn't be much fun anyway. So now, he was determined to make that up to her.
“It won't be like last time.”
She laughed lightly, turning before she took a sip of the coffee. Pulling the paper cup away from her lips she nodded. “Alright, where are we going?”
Satisfied at her response he shrugged, “Dress fancy. Dress, heels, that short of thing.” He smiled at her before moving away and out of the longue.
Leanne shook her head, her brows furrowed at his last comment. “Fancy…” she sighed. Shaking her head she took another sip of her coffee and headed out of the longue and towards her office. Taking another sip of her coffee she tisked at his comment, fancy. Biting her bottom lip she pushed her office door opened and headed towards her desk, setting the cup down she then in turn sat down. Twirling in her chair as she mentally went through her closet. Groaning she threw her hands up, “Screw it.” She clicked her mouse on her computer and grabbed her glasses again, putting them on she went to log into her email, she’d worry about whatever to wear for this date later.
--
“So, what are you going to wear?”
Leanne turned to Jesse, who was sitting in one of the lounge chairs in her bedroom. Since she hadn’t seen Ethan after shift she decided to spend time with a little neglected someone. She had made him dinner, and now she was sifting through her closet trying to find something nice for dinner tomorrow. Moving out of her closet she shrugged, reaching for her beer that was on her bed side table. “I haven’t worn half of this stuff in almost five years, I’m used to jeans and my flannel. I mean...I don’t even think half of these dresses fit anymore.”
Jesse took a swig of his beer before setting it down on the hardwood floor. “Yeah, about the flannel, you know, you look like a damn lumberjack.” Getting up from the chair he shrugged at her glare, he moved to the closet. “You sit, and let momma take a look”
Shaking her head she sat on the edge of her bed, “Oh, and like your old man Hawaiian shirts are any better? You look like you're in the bowling league in Maui.” Sighing, she leaned back and propted herself up on her left elbow, beer in hand. She watched as Jesse went through her closet, pulling a few things out here and there. Content with his small pile he moved out of the closet, “Alright.”
He held up the first one, which she hadn’t seen in about twenty years. Leanne let out a laugh, her head tilting back as her hair spilled down her shoulders. After about a minute she shook her head at him, “Are you crazy? I think I wore that for my father’s birthday a million years ago. I’m surprised the moth balls haven’t eaten it.”
Jesse tossed it too the floor, then held up a dark blue dress. “I’m not set on this one, because I like this one more.” He then held up a black dress, one that she hadn’t seen in a while as well. He saw her mood change and he tilted his head. “Leanne?”
She pointed at the black dress with the beer bottle, “I bought that for the funeral.” Biting her lip she looked away from him, shrugging she sighed. “But I went with that ugly pant suit, after all, what kind of woman wears that to her family's funeral.
“Well, maybe it is time to wear it now.”
Looking up at him she tilted her head, “It’s black.”
“And slimming, and sexy. You gotta show him the goods there daddy.”
He smiled when she got a laugh out of her, “Listen, you wore that ugly pant suit for a reason. You were saving this for now. So, regardless of what you think this is what you are wearing, and those black pumps.”
She sat up, her beer going back to the bedside table. She ran her hands over her face, “Is this a mistake? Going to dinner with him?”
Jesse hung the dress on the closet door, he then moved to the bed and sat down. The shift in his weight caused her to lean more to him. Their shoulders pressing as he sighed as well. “No. It is time, Leanne.”
Dropping her hands she nodded, “I feel guilty.”
“Brian wouldn’t want you to feel guilty, he would want you to find someone again. Even if it hurt. You know, I remember the day you two got married.”
“Jesse --”
He nudged her lightly, “He told me that the greatest thing in the world was seeing you smile. That’s why he liked to make jokes.”
Licking her lips she frowned, “His jokes were stupid.”
Nodding he laughed lightly, “He knew that. But besides that, he told me, that if anything ever happened to him he couldn’t bare the thought of you not living again.”
Sitting back she shook her head, “He said that to you?”
“He did. Leanne -- “ He turned slightly and took her hand in his. “Brian wouldn’t want you to live the rest of your life without happiness. I know what happened, and I wish it never did. But you and I both know we can’t go backwards, we can only go forward. And Ethan -- I think he is a pretty good guy to go forward with.”
Closing her eyes she leaned to him again, nodding. “I’ll just go forward with you, momma.”
Jesse shook his head, “Oh no, please. You can’t handle this anyway.” He smiled wide as she let out a loud laugh, her head tilting back again. Laughing as well he stood up and pulled her from the bed. “Come on, I’ll help you clean the kitchen.”
--
“Retract harder please Dr. Dixon. I can’t see what I’m doing.” The young doctor nodded and pulled the retractor back more.
Leanne tilted her head as she tied off the bleeding that was coming from the liver. Pulling back she set the tools on the tray. “Okay, he’s ready for you.”
She stepped back as Dr. Pinkley moved to take the gurney with the patient. Dr. Dixon sighed lightly, taking his gloves off as Leanne did the same. “Don’t be afraid, you are not hurting him retracting, he was already out.”
He nodded and she did as well. Removing her glasses, “See if Dr. Leighton can use your assistance with his patient.” She watched as he walked past her, glancing over at the clock she noted the time. Thirty more minutes, she could hide out in her office until shift was over. Taking Jesse’s suggestion she went with the black dress and pumps, and brought the items to work for faster change time. Pursing her lips she glanced around her, noting that Dr. Dixon and Dr. Leighton were working with a patient in sides, Malaya was taking a history and Mario was with Jesse working on stitches.
Nodding she licked her lips and headed towards the hallway that would lead her to the office. Upon hearing her name being called by Risa she stopped and turned around, her brows raised in question.
“Dispatch just notified me of a multiple vehicle accident on the 101. Three critical and two minor, their ETA is about fifteen.”
Letting out a small breath of disappointment she nodded, “Page Campbell, and Dr Willis.” Risa nodded and jogged back to the nurses station. So far for getting out on time. Heading back to the trauma floor she advised the resident’s and Jesse. They gloved up and went to the ambulance bay, waiting rather impatiently for the arrival of their patients. She glanced at her watch, nine forty-five. Wrinkling her nose she looked up as the ambulance sirens got louder. “Dr. Leighton you are with Dr. Dixon.” They nodded, “Dr. Kean, you are with Dr. Willis, Malaya, Mario take the two minor.”
Rubbing her hands together she moved as the ambulances approached the bay. The next ten minutes were chaos. She was making sure everyone was where the needed to be, the three critical in center stage, and the two minor in the bay’s.Orders for medicines, x-ray’s, scans and ultrasounds were being shouted back and forth. Campbell was already on the floor, overseeing the events that were taking place, and at the ready for when a patient was to be taken to the operating room.
“Jesse, I need help with this leg please.” she looked around, trying to see who else was free. Campbell saw her and stepped in, she nodded to him and pointed to the hip, “Hold down the pelvis, Jesse grab the ankle. Alright - one, two, three.” They moved in tandem and popped the hip back into place.
“I got a pulse.”
Leanne glanced at the vitals of the patient, nodding she looked back at Campbell. “She is ready for you.” He nodded and she stepped aside so he could move the gurney and take the patient to be operated on. Leanne switched out her gloves and stepped beside Ethan, “How are we doing over here?”
“I’ve got internal bleeding, can’t figure out if it is coming from the spleen or liver.” he pulled back and nodded in her direction, “See if you can tell, you’re hands are smaller than mine.”
Leanne stepped towards him a bit more, her hands entering the open cavity of the patient. “Erm, Dr. Kean, ultrasound please.”
The redhead nodded and gave Leanne the wand, keeping one hand in the patient she grabbed the wand and put it over the stomach. Moving it around she squinted, “Look there, looks like the rib broke, a fracture of it punctured the spleen.” She handed the ultrasound wand back to Dr. Kean, “I need a suture kit, lets see if we can get this bleeding to stop.”
Ethan grabbed the kit and set it on top of the patient, “What about the piece of rib.”
“It’s in the spleen, so, we are going to have to double team this one.” She stepped a bit more to the side, “When I remove the piece of rib I am going to need you to come in, basically right after, and start your sutures. It’s going to bleed more when the bone is removed.” she tensed her jaw lightly, “Just do me a favor, and don’t stick me in the hand.”
Tilting his head he leaned towards her, “I’ll do my best -- ready when you are.”
“Here we go. Watch his vitals please Dr. Kean.” She looked back at her hands, squinting again as she pulled back, she kept one hand in to guide him to the puncture wound. Instantly the machine started beeping. Ethan stepped in just as she retracted her hand and pushed his own in, once he was starting his suture she pulled her other hand back and stepped more to the side. “Pressure isn’t rising --”
“This suture isn’t holding, give me another.”
Jesse was already there, another suture kit ready at hand. Ethan tossed the needle and suture off to the side and grabbed the other. “How am I doing?”
“Pressure is tanking.”
“Almost -- there.” He bit at his lip, which too Leanne’s surprise was adorable. He pulled back his hands and looked at the monitor, “Come on.”
He smiled as the beeping started to level out, “Pressure is up. Good job.”
Leanne smiled and stepped around him, taking her gloves off and tossing them in the bin. Ethan looked at Dr. Kean, “Tell Campbell that his patient is ready.”
As he approached her she gave him a smile, “Good work over there.” Nodding at her words he took his own gloves off and tossed them in the bin as well.
“Thanks -- I know it’s well past our dinner time, but, are you still up for it?”
Glancing at her watch she noted the time, eleven twenty. Wrinkling her nose she shrugged, “I still have to shower and change. I smell like iodine.”
He laughed and nodded, “Me as well. So, twelve?”
Nodding she smirked at him, “Twelve -- meet you right here then.” He bit at his lip and walked away, she watched him, smiling a bit more when he walked up to Jesse and lightly put his hand on his shoulder. Shaking her head she dropped it before turning around and heading towards the attendings locker room. Leanne ransacked her locker, thanking her past self for putting a small makeup, and other needed items there a few weeks back. Rushing to the showers she quickly pinned her hair up and stepped in. The steam relaxing her from the rather long day.
Stepping out of the shower she quickly dried off and dressed in the outfit she had picked, with Jesse’s help. Pulling her hair down she brushed it out, and did her best to fluff it up a bit. Wrinkling her nose she tilted her head, grabbing her makeup bag she started to pulled out some of the items. Once she was finished she stepped back, looking at herself again in the mirror. Suddenly the nerves rose, she didn’t know what he expected. She surely didn’t look like herself at all, black pumps, black dress that dipped down low enough to have some modesty. Moving her hands up she fixed her hair again, the loose, natural curls framing her face. She shrugged lightly, this was as good as it was going to get. Turning around she headed back to her locker, shoving her scrubs, towel and makeup bag back in. She grabbed the black, knee length jacket and slipped it on. Grabbing her purse she headed back out to the emergency room floor.
Leanne bit the inside of her cheek as she noted that Ethan was nowhere in sight. Glancing up at the clock she licked her lips, she was about ten minutes early. She also felt incredibly exposed, the passing nurses and her fellow attendings smiling and making side comments at how pretty she looked. Half these people hadn’t seen her out of scrubs, so she couldn’t imagine the shock. She shifted on her feet, biting the inside of her cheek again as she checked the clock, barely a minute had gone by.
“Leanne -”
Turning at the sound of his voice she smiled slightly, she saw his features change. And her smile fell instantly, he stepped towards her, shaking his head and giving her that smile. That smile that had made her say yes the first time, that smile that made her heart skip a beat.
“You look incredible.”
Her lips spread in another smile, her eyes glancing away from him as a slight blush graced her cheeks. Looking back up at him she noted his hair was still practically the same, yet he was wearing black slacks, with a matching jacket, and a deep blue shirt, that made his already deliciously blue eyes pop.
“You don’t look so bad yourself.”
His smile grew, licking his lips he stepped towards her, offering out his arm. Leanne took it, her nerves rising as he started to lead her towards the hallway instead of the exit. Frowning she tilted her head towards him, he knew there was questions, “Change of plans, I hope you don’t mind.”
With her arm still hooked with his he leaned forward and pressed the elevator button. It dinged a few moments later and they both stepped inside. Her fingers slightly toyed with the fabric of his suit jacket, her hazel eyes casting over him again. He was handsome, there was absolutely no doubt about that. When the elevator door dinged he smiled at her and lead them out to the top floor. “We have to walk, but just a bit.”
“Okay.”
Opening the door too the stairwell that was all too familiar too her. It lead to the rooftop of the hospital, perplexe she shook her head and stepped inside before him. The door shut behind him and he took her arm once again. They made their way up the short stairs, before she reached the top of the stairs he unhooked his arm, going before her and opening the door that would lead them outside. Pressing her lips together she stepped out and into the slightly cool night air, she was thankful that she had brought her jacket.
But all thoughts at how cold it was left her mind as she was greeted with dim, hanging lights. A table in the middle with two chairs, and a single candle sat a few feet away from them. Her lips parted in surprise, a small smile pulling at her cheeks as she saw Jesse walk in their direction. He set down two covered plates, and then retrieved two glasses and a wine bottle.
“The italian place was closed, so made a few calls and got them to cater.”
Leanne stepped forward, her smile growing as she saw a few pillows and blankets off to the side, turning towards him she held out her hands, “You did all this?”
Clasping his hands together he nodded, “I wanted to make it special.”
She shook her head, her smile growing, “This, is special Ethan.”
Leanne turned at the sound of Jesse clearing his throat, “Dinner is served, with a nice red wine.”
“Shall we?”
He held out his arm, pressing her lips together she nodded and took it. He lead them over to the table, pulling out her chair and letting her arm slip from his he waited until she was settled in her seat. He moved around the table and sat down, Jesse handed him the bottle of wine and smiled, “Enjoy.”
He moved away and then the door clicked shut, leaving the two of them sitting under the stars. She looked across the table at him, his blue eyes were that much more evident, the candlelight dancing in them as he smiled back at her. “Dig in, I’m sure you are starved.” Pressing her lips together she took off the top of her plate, her smile growing at the recognition of her favorite dish; chicken parmigiana.
“How did you know?”
Ethan looked up at her, setting aside the top of his dish. “I had some help from my step in waiter.”
Pressing her lips together to try and hide the smile she nodded, “You should tip him, he did very well.”
“Oh, trust me, he’s getting a huge tip.”
Laughing lightly she started to dig into her food. It was by far the most delicious chicken parmigiana she had ever had. Before she got too full she had to stop eating, sitting back in her chair she let out a soft sigh and reached for her wine. “THAT, was delicious.”
Nodding in agreement he sat back as well, “It really was. We will have to go there again, but, at the physical restaurant.”
Taking another sip of her wine she nodded, humming before setting the glass down. “We will.” She licked her lips as she watched him reach for the small plate, lifting its lid he revealed Tiramisu, with two forks.
“I heard, Tiramisu was also one of your faves.”
He leaned over, taking her plate and setting it on top of his. He then covered it with one of the lids and set it on the floor. Picking up a fork he then handed it to her, tilting her head Leanne took the fork. Her fingers brushing against his own, causing her to press her lips together again.
“A dessert, made almost entirely out of coffee - what is not to love?”
He smiled wider, taking a fork full, and before she could do the same he offered her the bite. Leanne felt blush form on her cheeks, setting her fork down she leaned her arms on the table and leaned towards him. She hummed as the dessert hit her tongue, the coffee potent and mixed with the sweet of the mascarpone cheese. Pulling back she licked her lips, her eyes half hooded as she enjoyed the taste. Reaching for her napkin she lightly wiped at the corners of her mouth. Swallowing the lump that had started to form in her throat.
Their dessert was finished in peace, and soon the conversation tearned light, comfortable, soon she realized that she could talk to him forever.
“What made you want to be a doctor?”
Leanne swirled her wine softly, she had turned sideways in the chair, her left leg crossed over her right as her left elbow leaned against the small table. Ethan had moved closer, his own legs crossed as he toyed with the rim of the wine glass. Humming she looked over at him, “My grandmother was a nurse in the army. That was how she met my grandfather, she died before I could get to know her. But the stories my grandfather would tell me -- about her bravery, her strength, and love for what she did. It made me want to be like that.”
Nodding he raised his brow, “I would say you definitely take after your grandmother.”
“I like to think so,” her words were followed with a shrug, “at first I was set on being a nurse, but my father was always a ‘go big or go home’ type of man. So he pushed me to be a doctor -- I don’t regret it, ever.”
“I can tell, you are an amazing doctor, Leanne.”
Smiling she looked down at her knee, biting her lip she looked back up at him. “How about you?”
“Oh -- well, I did it to piss off my father.”
Leanne let out a small laugh, which made him chuckle. Shrugging he ran his hand over his leg, “He wanted me to be a professor, or a businessman. Which, are noble careers, but I wanted something daring, and risky.”
“So you went into the Army.”
Nodding he shifted in his seat, “I did, but not right away - I traveled for a bit. Germany, Rome, Scotland, a few other places. Then when I turned twenty three I joined the Army.”
Leanne set her wine glass down on the table, leaning more to him as if every word was a lifeline. “Rome, Scotland. I can imagine those places were incredible.”
“They were, I would go back in a heartbeat. And I thought I was going too, but the Army took me to Russia, and then back to the states, and then to Iraq and Afghanistan.”
“Someday I’ll go to another country.” She ran her index finger over the glass, her lips pursing.
“What’s stopped you? I mean, I’m sure you get plenty of vacation time.”
Smiling slightly she nodded, “I was going to go to France, until the accident. Then, so many things changed.”
Ethan nodded, it was the first time she had brought it up. He knew, that behind those hazel eyes there were dark secrets that could break grown men. Secrets and memories that he dared not ask about.
“Well, perhaps I will take you to France.”
Leanne looked up at him, her smile growing, she nodded to him, her hair falling from behind her ear. She reached up and tucked it back, “I’d like that.”
“Me too --”
He sighed, she did the same, her legs uncrossing as she rubbed her hands together. “Well, this dinner was amazing, Ethan. But, I should probably get going.”
Uncrossing his legs he reached out to her, “Already? I mean -- I planned stargazing as well, it is still warm tonight, so I figured.”
Getting up she smoothed her hands over her dress, shaking her head lightly. “It’s been nice, really -- “
“Are you blowing me off Rorish?”
Taken back she tilted her head, a small giggle escaping as she then shook her head. “I’m not.”
Ethan rocked on his heels, “Really, it sounds an awful lot like I’m being blown off.”
Her smile fell, and she bit the inside of her cheek. “I’m messed up, Ethan.” She saw him shrug lightly, and she shook her head, “I can’t, I don’t think that I can do this. Be with someone that isn’t Brian; my husband.”
Nodding he rubbed his hands together. “I’m not asking you to forget them, Leanne. I’m sure there is guilt, of being alive when they aren’t, and that is okay. All I’m asking is for you to give yourself a chance, and if you find that you don’t like what I have to offer than that is okay. I’m just asking for a chance.”
Biting her lip she looked away from him, to the lights of the city that she had called home since she was ten. A place that never purposely disappointed her, a place that was safe, and comforting. Leanne looked back at him, his eyes and voice hopeful. But right, nevertheless. Jesse’s voice ringing in her head to just live. Nodding to him she wrapped her coat around her a bit more, “Is there still Tiramisu left?”
Ethan nodded, “There is plenty --” he grabbed the plate, and one of the forks and lead her over to the small layout of blankets and pillows. They settled themselves, Ethan placing a blanket over the bare area of her legs.
They finished the dessert, and talked the rest of the night. Leanne pointing out the constellations and their history. Ethan was more than content listening to her, hell, he’d let her read the phone book to him if she chose it. Soon, the night sky started to fade, and the dawning of a new day started to peek through the buildings of the city. To his surprise neither of them had fallen asleep, instead she had leaned more to him, and in turn he wrapped her in another blanket, and put his arm over her. He wasn’t sure how long this chance was going to last, but that didn’t matter, all that mattered was that he got one, and that, in his book was better than nothing.