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With an agonizing crack, the bow snapped in his grip. The bark of the palm tree he was aiming for wasn’t even scratched after an hour’s hard practice and sixteen bows. Equius threw down the useless pieces of wood in disgust and stomped on them with his hooves. It was a childish display of rage, but how could a centaur who couldn’t fire a single arrow be considered any more than an infant?
“Fudgenuggets,” he said, sand flying up around him.
Once it had settled, he looked out at the ocean. His elder had told him that the air here, the moisture and the magic, would seep into his bow, and make it more supple, more able to withstand his uncontrollable strength. He had suspected it was superstitious nonsense, and had now had that confirmed, but he never minded coming out here. Such a huge mass of water, such overwhelming power. He felt small and weak looking at it, like a colt still wobbling on his stick-thin legs. When the human wizards or the sea witches played their foolish games, they kicked up storms that, should he get caught in those waves, would dash him helplessly against the rocks. No matter how hard he struggled, he would not be able to overcome such raw power.
Something about the sea air was making him perspire.
As he wiped his forehead with the back of his arm, he thought he saw something move on one of the rock outcroppings out a distance on the water. It dove underwater as soon as he spotted it, before he could make out precisely what it was. It could have been an innocent sea creature, or a trick of his vision. Or it could have been a vicious seadwelling mercreature, or one of the many deadly chimera created by the humans. Equius clenched his hand at his side, waiting.
A little closer, a head popped up over the water. “That was just about the worst shootin I’ve ever laid my eyes on,” a loud, burbling voice declared. The figure bobbed in the water, its purple hair plastered back from its face. It looked male, but Equius had no real knowledge of mer physiology. “You couldn’t even get a shot off and that isn’t me tryin to make innuendo, that is literally how pathetic you were bein.”
“Mer,” Equius said, his voice laced with scorn. “I would watch who you are idly insulting. I can’t expect you to have respect, but at least have some fear for your life.”
“Yeah, normally I’d be thinkin the same thing, but are you goin to throw an arrow at me, or what? Not like you can shoot me or whatever.”
“Go away. That was an order.” The centaurs considered the mer to be a lesser species. The mer, he knew, foolishly considered themselves superior. The humans believed themselves the god-like creators of both, but it was obvious to both the mer and centaurs that the humans were stupid, weak, and generally full of crap about pretty much everything.
“Nah, there is literally nothin you can do,” he said, clearly amused by his own antics. “Let me show you some real shootin, while I’m here anyway. That tree two inches from your face is your target, right?” He was moving, lifting a huge harpoon gun up out of the water and onto his shoulder.
Equius readied himself for a strong leap. He could easily bound to where that creature was and take him out with his reliable fists and hooves. But he hesitated when he saw that the mer was, in fact, aiming for the tree.
“Watch close--this is your one lesson from a true master.” He pulled the trigger, and a burst of light--something that most definitely not a harpoon--shot out the end, slammed into the tree, and turned it into a rainstorm of fire and splinters.
With an irritated whinny, Equius cantered out the way of the flying debris. “I should have expected a sea creature to misunderstand. The arrow is a weapon of elegance, not brutal, uncontrolled destruction.” He could have punched the tree into woodchips himself, with barely an effort.
“There was all sorts of control there,” Eridan said, “I didn’t hit you, after all, and as far as elegant goes you can’t get more elegant than me. I’m just sweatin elegance out every orifice, and I’m insulted you’d be implyin otherwise.” He rose up out of the water.
Equius looked him over, not terribly impressed. The mer had somewhat muscular arms, probably from pulling such a large weapon through the water, but not anything he would consider elegant. He also wore an atrocious amount of jewelry. He wore what could only be describe as a jeweled tiara, at least two rings on every finger, and bracelets all the way up both arms. There was a line of hooped piercings on his neck frills. “How tacky.”
The neck frills puffed up in rage, “Well, how dare you! How dare you call a prince a the underwater kingdom, guard a the future Empress herself--I can’t even spit out the word you were usin there. It’s a disgrace and no one would be complainin if I wiped a rude piece a carp shit like you off the face a the planet.”
Equius was of the opinion that even a prince of the underwater kingdom, and even the Empress herself, were lower beings than even the basest colt, covered in mud from its foolish youthful play. “I see.”
A cloud passed over the sun, and Equius shivered.
“I’d like to see you insult my elegance out here in the water--we’ll see who’s splashin around like an imbecile.” Despite his earlier threat, he didn’t seem inclined to pull his rifle again.
“I’m not sure why you are attempting to pick a fight with me,” Equius said. “I honestly don’t care about you in the slightest.” He paused. “It looks like there is a storm coming, so I am leaving.”
“What a fuck are you talkin about? It’s clear as--” he looked up, and saw the looming pink clouds rushing in. “Oh, fuck me.”
“I understand your distress, but stop using such foul language. It is enraging.” Equius was not in too much of a hurry. He was just a short distance from his own shelter.
“Oh, suck on it, I’m getting out a here. I don’t need to be smacked around in death rock bay because some wizardin bitches got their tits in a knot over who even cares.”
That confirmed Equius’ own guess--that the approaching storm was magical in nature. There could possibly be natural reasons why the clouds were pink, and why the lightning that flashed inside it was somehow black. He would actually enjoy listening to someone try to explain how it could be natural.
He looked back down in time to spot a purple tail pop up over the water and then disappear. He was not even polite enough to say goodbye. How rude, these princes of the undersea kingdom.
The storm raged well through the night. Equius risked a look outside, long after the midnight hour. Something like lightning stretched across the sky, briefly tearing a hole into some other reality. There, the sky was bright blue and dotted with white fluffy clouds. The effect was disorienting, and he turned to head back inside his stable.
The sound that made him turn around barely even registered on a conscious level. It sounded like someone was shushing, softly, but the sound didn’t stop and it kept getting louder and louder. By the time he had turned around, it was absolutely overwhelming. And then all sound cut out entirely. Even the cacophony of the wind howling through the trees was gone, though the trees were almost bending to the ground, leaves tearing off and scattering, swirling through the night.
Then, from the sea, black tentacles rose up. They crawled up the basin of the sky, wrapped around the clouds, and silently tore the storm to pieces. The wind died down, the leaves settled, the waves calmed. The arms from the sea descended back into the water, and sound returned.
Equius watched for a few more minutes, and then went back inside, unnerved.
The next morning, it looked like there was another storm coming, but of the regular variety. The clouds were dark gray and it started to drizzle as he trotted out to his practice area. The remains of his bows had washed out to sea, along with all the bits and pieces of that tree. All down the shore, other trees had been completely upended and the sand was littered with seaweed. He noticed, in the distance, a strange purple lump had been washed ashore.
He lightly galloped down to check it out. The disorder of the beach and the rain was not putting him in the mood to start his training yet today.
“Ah,” he said, when he saw what it was.
The mer, from yesterday, had clearly not made it far enough to sea. It was probably dead, after being smashed against the rocks. Equius touched it with the tip of his hoof, frowning. It was covered in gashes, and there was a huge bruise under where its crown had once rested. Most of its jewelry was gone--even some of the hoops on its frills had been torn off, leaving the delicate frills a bloody mess.
“Getcher…offa me,” the corpse said, groaning.
Equius was surprised that such a fragile creature had survived. He picked the mer up by his tail and examined him. After a moment’s consideration, he tossed the limp sea monster onto his back and, holding him on with one hand, he carried him back to his little shelter.
There was no bed, in his stable, and he wasn’t actually sure these creatures slept on beds. He lay him down on a pile of hay and carefully examined his broken body. He knew little about mer anatomy, but he knew a dislocated shoulder when he saw one, and he knew how to bind a wound. His touch would leave a bruise here or there, because of his enormous strength, but he had gained enough control over the years to not break him further.
The mer woke up, screaming, when Equius popped his shoulder back into place. He tried to get away, but with one useless arm and no legs, he managed to back into a wall before he gave up completely.
He pointed at Equius, his hand quaking with fear and pain. “You! Get a fuck away from me! You get any closer I’ll shoot your horse cock right offa your body and make you eat it!”
“Disgusting,” Equius said, at the mental image, “I did not find your weapon with you. Unfortunately. So you can put away your finger.”
He slowly lowered his hand. “Oh my god. What are you plannin on doin with me, you sick pervert, pullin me into your barn here and yankin my arm around like a brute.”
Equius rolled his eyes. “You are free to leave. I suggest you don’t, though, with your obvious concussion.”
He blinked, hazily, at Equius, and slowly put his hand on his forehead. He winced. “There was a storm. Fuckin wizards. Ugh. Between them and the seawitches, this has turned out to be a shitsink of a hunting trip. Anyone complains about me comin back empty handed, they’re getting a wand shoved so hard up their privates they’re givin birth to magic.” His voice got quiet as he spoke.
It was clear he was mostly talking to himself. Equius collected some of purple bloody rags he had ruined, helping this ungrateful grouch.
“Do you see this?” He pointed to his left side. His gills, there, were an absolute mess. Equius had had no idea how to deal with them, so he had let them be.
“You broke several ribs,” Equius said, “…if that is what your kind has, there.”
“Yeah, broken ribs. Fuck. I’m goin to tell you how I got these.”
“I’m actually not interested,” Equius said, shrugging. He was impressed by the hardiness of this creature. Not many could babble on so obnoxiously so soon after a near death experience.
“So I’ve spotted some signs of a pod a whales in the area, okay, so I’m trackin ‘em with Ahab--that’s my gun you met and that’s now tragically departed--”
“You were trying to kill one of those majestic creatures?” Equius accidentally crushed a bottle of salve in his hand.
“Yeah. You ever tasted whale meat? Anyway, so I’ve gone a good distance when, outta nowhere, I’m surrounded by six or seven dolphins. They just pop up and there’s no way for me to go. I get Ahab out, and I’m about to make ‘em regret comin near me, when one a them such an suches gives me a hard snout to the gills! Fuckin dolphins. Gonna track ‘em down and kill every last one a them assholes, believe me.”
Equius shook his head, disapproving of pretty much every part of this story.
“So I’m floatin there stunned, tryin to breathe, and they’re all swimmin around me chortlin like they do and I’m thinkin this is it. Done in by a pack a adolescent asshole dolphins. They all suddenly swim off, though, and I’m just noticin a strange taste in the water when--bam! I’m fucked over by magic! I get caught in some black current, and there are all these skeletal hands reachin for me in the water, okay, and I’m just still tryin to breathe and now duck outta these rocks comin straight for me--”
“Are you sure this wasn’t a hallucination?” Equius asked.
“Fuck you, I passed out for a minute or two, maybe, but I know the smell a witchery in the water as good as anyone.” He curled his tail under him, wincing. He probably had something broken, in there, but Equius had no way of telling. “Then I come up out in death rock harbor, and who do I find? Some incompetent pretendin he knows how to shoot a bow.” He paused. “What I’m sayin is, I was havin a bad day, so maybe I came across as kind a more of a douche than I was intendin. Sorry. And, uh, thanks for stoppin me from bleedin to death.” He seemed to think. “…oh, and sorry for callin you a brute and a perv, I guess. Though you gotta know you wake someone up yankin ‘em around like that, they’re not goin to think too highly of you.”
“I honestly never expected any better of you.”
“So I’m Eridan Ampora. Prince Ampora, okay? Now that you know what kind a badass I am, and I’ve apologized, you’ll be wantin to treat me with the proper respect.”
“Equius,” he replied. “Brace yourself. I am going to bandage your ribs.”
“Oh, god.” Eridan’s claws dug deep into the wall behind him. “Look, Eq, I appreciate this, but tellin me to brace myself and then comin at me--”
Equius came at him. He handed him a roll of bandages. “Bite down on this. You will need it in a minute. I am going to also wrap up your dislocated shoulder.”
“Oh, god.”
“Hey, Eq?”
“Who do you think you’re talking to?” Equius asked. He was busy washing purple blood off of his hands, and could barely hear Prince Ampora over the sound of running water.
“Give me a couple days, and I’ll give you a real lesson in how to shoot,” he said. “Least I can do, after all, and I’ll need more than that to get myself together.”
Equius had been hoping that the dignity of a prince would force him to leave before his injuries had healed. Well, now that he had put him back together, it would be irritating to watch him get himself torn apart immediately. “There is no need. You can’t actually help.”
“Hey, I’ll have you know, I’m the best shot there is under the water, and I bet you I could give some a your fancy horse archers a run for their money,” Eridan said, affronted.
Equius shrugged. He would let him try, to break up the tedium of his useless practices. He would obviously give up when he realized that the problem wasn’t something simple, like his aim.
“Hey, Eq?”
“What?” Equius asked, already getting annoyed beyond all reason at the nickname.
“I know you’ve been hangin out here all alone so you’ve probably forgotten some things and gotten into some habits--okay, what I’m askin here, and don’t take this the wrong way--could you put some fuckin pants on?”
“No,” Equius replied, calm again, and went back to washing his hands.