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Stiles doesn’t have any super powers. He isn’t magic and he’s not a psychic, but he is absolutely sure he’ll witness a heartbreak soon.
He’s watching his friends and the way Scott makes Allison smile and the way she looks at him like he’s sunshine and puppies and all the good things in the world, even though her right hand is still holding Isaac’s left one. Stiles knows it will happen. Isaac’s smile is not going to last much longer. He doesn’t say anything.
The thing is Stiles knows he’s an asshole. He is. He’s in a road of self-improvement in which he tries to be less of it and a nicer person, but it’s hard. He often asks himself “what would Scott do?”, but it’s not easy trying to be Scott when he’s so fundamentally Stiles. It’s funny though, seeing Scott pulling a Stiles.
“It’s not that I don’t care about him,” Scott tells him, when Stiles asks him about it one day. “It’s just… I believe he believes that he loves her, but I’m in love with her. I love her like I never thought I’d love anyone. And I respect that they’re together, I really do. She can be with whomever she chooses. But I really do think that Allison and I, we’re endgame. Everything else is just part of the story we will tell one day about our epic relationship.”
Stiles mostly doesn’t care. Isaac isn’t and never was a priority. Stiles has got a list of people he cares about and Isaac has only made it in because Scott kind of really likes him, Allison mainly loves him, Scott really loves Allison and Scott is probably the most important person in Stiles’ life after his father. He cares more about Derek than he does about Isaac and that’s saying a lot.
He just empathizes with heartbreaks. He feels it in his bones like a reminder that he’ll never be good enough. And he gets that liking someone doesn’t make them like you back, it doesn’t mean that it’s your right to be with them. It just hurts.
He sees it happening. It’s the end of their junior year and things are really hard, he spends his nights watching heartbreakingly good spoken word poetry videos on YouTube and crying about them so he doesn’t have to cry about the nightmares he’s been having. He spends his days trying not to die and watching Scott and Allison get closer and closer because they get each other and they love each other and then… They’re together.
He punches Isaac’s shoulder to get his attention, says “You can spend some time in my place” when that’s what his brain tells him is what Scott would do. They’re two days away from summer break and he’s been in the hospital so many times in the last six months he thinks some good karma will do him good.
-
It’s two weeks until Stiles just can’t take it anymore. It’s been two weeks of Mario Kart, Netflix queues of 80’s movies, chocolate ice cream and a playlist that sounds like Coldplay’s The Scientist plays three times for every other song in it. Nobody said it would be this hard indeed.
He thinks Isaac’s just going through all of the break up clichés he knows so maybe he will feel better. If that’s the case, Stiles can tell him that it’s not going to help. Time heals heartbreaks, eating ice cream and never leaving the bed just makes you gain twenty pounds and feel like a loser.
He enters his bedroom one day to see Isaac in his bed singing along to Tristan Prettyman after the Jason Mraz break up and that’s just not happening. He already heard Isaac’s rendition of Blue October’s Congratulations and Taylor Swift’s Dear John and he can’t take it anymore.
“Get up, we’re going out,” he says. Isaac doesn’t move. “I’m serious, get up and put your fucking scarf on, we’re leaving this house even if I have to call a werewolf to manhandle you out of this bedroom.”
“No, I don’t want to leave this bed.”
“Yeah? Tough luck. Life’s not a Maroon 5 song and I really want to kick you out, but I can’t do it while you’re still suicidal without feeling guilty as hell, so you’re going to put some real world clothes on and we’re leaving.” They glare at each other until Isaac sighs and gets up. Stiles rocks at glaring.
“You’re insufferable. Why do you even care?”
“I don’t, but when I invited you over I thought that meant you’d stay two or three days, not two or three weeks,” He sees Isaac rolling his eyes while putting his shoes on. “And since giving you space isn’t working, I’m going to give you no space, I’m going to strong-arm you into feeling better. Let’s go.”
-
It’s funny because Stiles is not fine. That night, acting as a sacrifice, fucked him up. It fucked all of them up. He forgets to eat and he stays awake for days and he doesn’t believe in the advice he’s given because he’s tried everything, from prescription pills to some special herbs tea and everything still feels numb.
Spending time with Isaac, though, it brightens some things up. Stiles gets why Allison held onto him so tight. Having someone who doesn’t know how you feel, who hasn’t been through the same thing, is so good. He’s able to complain about it without feeling guilty, he’s allowed to feel sorry for himself seeing someone at least a little better than he is.
He drags Isaac to a three-day road trip and spends the days in museums and art galleries and coffee shops talking comic book movies and young adult novels that are apparently the only thing Isaac reads. He flirts with baristas and gives his number to absolutely everyone who asks for it, if only to inspire Isaac to move on, to find somebody else.
They make a playlist out of music they don’t know and can’t sing along to. He spends the nights driving, glad he’s got an excuse not to sleep. Sometimes Isaac stays up with him, keeping him company, complaining about how hipster he’s trying to be, but he mostly sleeps in the passenger seat, even through the nightmares Stiles is sure he has sometimes.
“I don’t know why you’re taking this break so hard,” Stiles says on the way back. They gave up on listening to good music and the radio is playing top 40 songs only. “You didn’t even seem to know which one of them you were in love with.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Isaac asks, sounding angry. “I was in love with Allison. I’m still in love with her.”
“Come on, you might love Allison, but you also definitely love Scott. And maybe you are actually in love with one of them, but maybe you just wanted to be romantically involved with someone you felt you cared about because you had never done it before and you never learned the difference between caring about someone and wanting to be in a relationship.”
“You’re really patronizing,” Isaac says, making Stiles snort. “I’m serious. You don’t get to say how I feel, or how I felt. I really love her. She doesn’t treat me like a child like everyone else does, she doesn’t think I’m a charity case. I got to know her while we were dating and she’s awesome, she’s fucking unbelievable. And she loved me back too. She just loves Scott more. And I get it, what’s not to like?”
Stiles looks at Isaac, even if he’s driving, he turns his head and looks at him and smiles, says “You are totally over it already, aren’t you?”, looks back at the road ahead of him.
“Not if you’re going to kick me out, I’m not.” Stiles laughs.
-
Stiles takes Isaac to his favorite places in the woods, drives him to San Francisco one weekend and Isaac sneaks them into all the good clubs with his supernaturally good looks, drives him to LA and then opens Foursquare in his phone to check-in in absolutely everywhere they go, shares it on Facebook. He doesn’t answer any calls from Scott when Isaac’s around. He can’t make himself feel guilty.
It’s good to feel like a teenager. It’s their last summer before they finish high school and it finally feels like he’s doing what he should be doing during summer. He spends all the money he never got the chance to spend when they were too busy with Beacon Hills’ drama.
They hook up with people in front of each other, dance together in the middle of a packed dance floor, Stiles lets Isaac drive when he wants to drink and then they come back home and spend the weekdays playing Call of Duty until their eyes can’t take it anymore. Stiles sleeps, too tired for nightmares.
It’s not perfect. They aren’t really nice people and they know how to hit each other where it hurts. Stiles tries to throw Isaac out at least three times a week. Isaac never leaves. Stiles asks himself when he’s going to stop pretending he doesn’t want Isaac around.
Scott calls once in the middle of an Arrested Development marathon and Stiles doesn’t answer, promises himself he’ll call back as soon as the episode is over, tells himself Scott will call again if it’s that important. Isaac’s phone starts ringing.
-
Stiles feels it’s déjà vu. Peter’s hand around his neck. His heart is beating three thousand times a minute and he feels like he’s going to throw up. He wishes he had powers, he wishes he had been a better son, he wishes he had died with his mother, he wishes it wasn’t all his fault.
He tries to think where Scott could be, feels guilty about pretty much ignoring him all summer even though Scott is probably closer to him than a brother would be. He wonders if he can mentally apologize. Is that a thing when you’re dying? Do you get a chance to mentally apologize for your screw-ups? He doesn’t think so.
It feels like seconds, it feels like years, but he hears people coming for him, tries to convince himself it is not too late, even when he feels the pain of claws tearing him from shoulder to chest until they’re so close to his heart… He passes out.
He wakes up on a hospital bed. It’s funny because he thought the whole point of improving his karma was to avoid this. Maybe all the bad stuff he’s done outweighed the good things and that’s the universe “fuck you” to him. He wouldn’t be surprised.
He is surprised, though, to see Derek sitting on the chair next to his bed, straightening up after realizing Stiles is awake.
“Tell me I haven’t hit my head walking down the stairs and imagined the last two years and you are in fact my super hot boyfriend of whom I have no memory of,” he says. Derek rolls his eyes at him. It might not be the first time Stiles tries that joke. “Well, a guy can wish.” He’s proud it makes Derek having to hold back a smile.
“You’re going to have a pretty huge scar,” Derek points at his chest. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s not really your fault that your crazy uncle went on a second murdering rampage after zombie-ing his way back to life. You did kill him that first time. Or, well, you tried.”
“I hope I did more than try this time. Scott almost killed him himself, but someone should be an Alpha.” They look at each other in silence for a few minutes.
“Ok, this is awkward. What are you even doing here?” Stiles finally asks, bluntly. He knows Derek is not really a big fan of his and he’s not really ready to compliment Derek on anything besides his looks.
“I just wanted to apologize. And thank you for taking care of Isaac. He’s pack, even though he doesn’t think so,” Derek sighs. “I’m not leaving again. Cora’s starting college after summer and I’m getting a place. Hopefully, Isaac will be optionless enough to consider moving in.”
“Yeah, I can’t help you with that because you’re a jerk and I’ll never deny him my floor now that we’re bros.” Derek looks down. “But I guess I can try and share my twelve step program to be a better person. I keep getting stuck on step two, but maybe it will work for you.”
-
Everyone apparently decided to host a meeting on Stiles’ hospital bedroom. It’s completely unfair because he wouldn’t go to any meetings if he had a choice, but he’s stuck in the bed and everyone is looking at him like he’s going to die. He’s not. He asked all the doctors.
After two hours, when Stiles is considering stabbing himself, Melissa shows up to tell everyone to get the fuck out and let him rest. Scott waits until it’s just him, Stiles and Isaac in the room to say that they should hang out when Stiles is ready to get back home.
“Yeah, man, of course. Sorry for being MIA.”
“No, I get it,” Scott glances at Isaac. “I just missed you, that’s all.” It makes Stiles happier than he’s been all day.
“We should all hang out,” Stiles is surprised to hear Isaac say. “You, Allison, me and Stiles. We should go out sometimes, watch a movie, or something.” Scott nods, clearly happy, hugs both Stiles and Isaac before leaving.
“Is that your way of easing me into a date, Lahey? Making into a double date with your ex and my best friend?” He has to ask, jokingly. Isaac doesn’t laugh.
“Yeah, actually, if that’s something you’d like," Isaac looks straight at him as he says, his big blue eyes shining as he waits for an answer.
“Yeah,” he tells him, no humor in his voice anymore. “That’d actually be fun.”
-
“What’s this?” Isaac asks when he goes into Stiles’ kitchen and sees the table made for two, candles lighting the room. Stiles sits on the counter, watching.
“I’ve decided that our first date can’t be a double date, so I’ve arranged a candlelit dinner. Then my dad reminded me that I can’t cook and I had to order pizza. You’re paying.” Isaac laughs. “Stop laughing at me, I’m being fucking romantic.”
“You’re being something, all right.” Stiles rolls his eyes at that. Isaac walks to him, stops when he's standing between Stiles’ legs, puts a hand on Stiles’ thigh. “I’m really glad you didn’t die.”
“I’m really glad I didn’t die too.” They make out until the doorbell rings. Isaac pays for the pizza.
-
Scott asks him if he spent the whole summer playing house with Isaac and Stiles laughs for ten minutes before answering that the first two weeks of sharing space with Isaac were basically the biggest turn offs in the world in the form of 8tracks break-up playlists. He still believes Isaac might be tone deaf. Maybe that could be a side effect of the super hearing.
He tells Scott about everything they did and all the talks they had and how he had no intention of being romantically involved with Isaac at all, he saw the guy eat five huge hamburgers at three in the morning in a McDonalds when they were driving back from a trip to the beach and it was just gross.
Isaac tells Scott that he’s disgusted with Stiles’ ability to offend people without meaning to or noticing, even when it’s ridiculously avoidable, and says that the amount of hipster indie bands on Stiles’ iPod is ridiculous. They spend half the night complaining about each other. Scott asks if that’s foreplay for them. It kind of is.
They all go to a double date once and Stiles spends the whole time looking at Isaac, wondering if he still thinks about Allison, wondering if he is to Isaac what Isaac was to her, just a placeholder. They go to a diner and they don’t hold hands and Isaac doesn’t call him “babe” and they tell each other to shut up all the time. Isaac doesn’t take his eyes off of him.
Isaac lies in the bed with him when they get back home, brings Stiles’ hands to his chest, inside his shirt, right over his heart, says “You’re the best choice I’ve ever made”, his heart keeps beating, steady. Stiles kisses him. For hours. He’s never been happier about his insomnia. They don’t trade “I love you”s, they don’t need to.