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"Have you been practicing what you might say?"
"Eh? ...Practice?"
"You know... rehearse. Have you thought of what you want to tell him when you give them to him?"
Shirogane stares up at Gokuhara as she asks what's probably the simplest question in the world, but he can only stare back at her blankly. She'd volunteered to help, along with Iruma, but now things had become something of a mess.
"Gonta was... thinking of saying, 'These are for you, Momota!' ...and..."
"And?"
"Walking away?"
"You can't just blow your load like that all at once!" Iruma laughs obnoxiously while making a sexual remark that goes a little over Gokuhara's head. "You gotta take your time, work up to it, pillow talk and foreplay!"
"Pillows? ...Iruma, I'm giving him chocolate."
"..."
Iruma is stunned by this. Actually, it's more like she's upset that her joke didn't seem to land.
"Well... Whenever I get chocolates, I like a boy to say nice things about me." Shirogane says it with a small blush. "Even just telling me I look good as their favorite character, or saying I look prettier in person..."
"Momota does look pretty in person!" He smiles and the other two sigh. "Especially up close when he smiles and..."
"Oh, no! I'm not listening to Snow White gush over Moon Moon. Just get in there and ask him to probe Uranus!" They all just take a moment and ignore Iruma entirely, because it's really just better that way. "W-Why is everyone giving me the cold shoulder... The Great Iruma Miu has life experience... valuable life experience..."
"...Gonta, you should tell him how you feel about him. Momota is a boy who always speaks his mind. You should speak yours too. If you do that, I know your feelings will reach him!"
"Even if you didn't put your own blood in the chocolate like I suggested..."
"N-No one should eat that!"
...
Gokuhara looks to his immediate left to see Chabashira Tenko struggling to work the chocolate she's been working on into suitable shapes. They... seem to be Halloween molds. Then again, witches, cats, and bats are probably the closest thing she could get to something resembling Yumeno.
"Ah! I... should have made the chocolate into stars... Gonta is... stupid!"
"Momota doesn't seem like the type who worries about the shape of the food he eats."
"You could always make them again!" No one's sure why Ouma's there. Probably to be annoying. "We can use Keyboard as the oven!"
"I am not equipped to be an oven!" Kiibo says it firmly, but it's obvious he's being ignored.
"How do we preheat you?"
"I told you that is not one of my functions!"
"Huh? ...You're useless then. Get out of here if you're going to be so useless. You can't eat chocolate, you can't cook chocolate. If you want to be useful, you should stir chocolate like any electric mixer!"
"S-Such... discrimination...! Calling attention to my uselessness is one thing but...! Don't bring my uselessness into your discrimination!"
"..."
"Chabashira, what do you think of Gonta's Valentine's Day present for Momota?" Gokuhara asks with a bright smile and sees her visibly recoil from him.
And then she makes that face.
"...Tenko doesn't care one bit about b☠ys and b☠y gifts!"
"I see..."
"However... A b☠y giving another b☠y a romantic gift is preferable to one giving a girl a gift! Your love protects women everywhere!"
"Really?! Thank you!"
"...You're making it sound like Gonta and Momota are predators." Shirogane sighs.
"All this love in the room... I guess it's just me, myself, and I this Valentine's Day... But... That's a threesome that I'm-"
"Please do not say unnecessary things." Thankfully Shirogane cuts her off.
"D-Doesn't anyone want to hear what I have to say...? I have so much wisdom to give..."
"She might be the SHSL Inventor, but she can't invent a way to make people want her. You're just leftovers that no one has the energy to heat up so you get moldy in the refrigerator!" Ouma sneers. "Too bad, leftovers!"
"M-M-Moldy leftovers...!!"
She squeals dramatically in the background.
"The act of giving presents to one who is beloved is a common part of all cultures, and a reflection of the natural world as well." Shinguuji has appeared out of nowhere as well. "A gesture of love and affection that shows commitment and also is meant to show off one's own attributes for the purposes of a romantic union... Such a simple interaction... is still beautiful..."
"Yes! Thank you!"
"Ugh! Who invited that... b☠y! He's the worst one!"
"It's a shame your chocolates are coming out so bad, though, huh?" Ouma laughs at Chabashira's expense. "Aren't these supposed to be a reflection of your heart and soul? Does that mean your heart and soul's all lumpy and weird-looking? What kind of attributes are you going to show to Yumeno now?"
"D-Don't be silly...! Tenko is..." She can't help but stare at her misshapen creations, a little sadly, before turning a determined gaze back to Ouma. "The shape of it doesn't matter! Feelings are feelings! Even if feeling is all you have, you ram it through until they reach the one you love!"
"And then Goon-ta will get to ram a heavenly body!" Iruma laughs again, and is ignored by everyone, again... which is how it should be.
"Chabashira...!" Gokuhara immediately approaches her and grabs her hands. "Your words are inspiring! Thank you!"
"Ack! One's touching me...!"
There's a predictably loud slamming sound from the kitchens as she unleashes her aikido on him.
. . .
"You look nervous." Harukawa says simply.
"Shut up! Who's nervous?!"
"You."
"...Momota, you don't have to be so nervous." Saihara smiles weakly.
"That's right! Have faith! At times like these, you should listen to something inspiring... Flight of the Bumblebee!"
Akamatsu is boundlessly cheerful.
"That... might only make him more nervous given the circumstances." Saihara chuckles.
"I just hope he likes it, I... put a lot of thought into the gift is all..."
Momota has now begun to pout.
"It will either go well, or it won't." Harukawa shrugs. "Worrying about it won't help. If you're not confident in yourself, it'll show. No one wants someone so wishy-washy."
"You know, Harumaki, you're a real downer sometimes."
She glares at him, though it's hard to tell if it's because of the joke or him getting her name wrong again.
"You will be fine." Tojo says with confidence as she nods. "I am sure of it. It will all work out fine."
"It would've worked out better if you'd actually helped me do it..."
"No. Gifts are meant to be from the heart. Best they come from your heart. "
"I thought Maids were supposed to be helpful!"
"I am helping you. You just don't realize it yet."
Tough love.
As Momota begins to sulk over his gift, they see Gokuhara coming closer.
"Oh, look! We should be going now!"
Akamatsu says forcefully tugging Saihara and Harukawa away. Tojo doesn't need to be told or dragged. Harukawa immediately pulls her arm free and begins to walk away of her own accord, but not before turning to Momota and nodding in his direction.
"W-Wait! Where are you all going?!"
Akamatsu is ignoring him.
"Bye, bye! Think happy thoughts! Make good life choices!"
And then... it's just him and Gokuhara. Together.
. . .
The two of them greet each other... It's... kind, yet awkward. Even if they know they have feelings for each other, that doesn't make it any easier for them.
"S-So... Umm... It's..." Momota stumbles for words and then finally... gives Gonta a thumbs up. "It's a good!"
"...A good?" Gokuhara blinks. "A good what?"
"...A good day! It's a good day!"
"Ah...! Yes! It is!"
"..."
"..."
Well. This wasn't going to work.
"Listen, I... I... I have something I want to give you, Gonta."
"What?! For Gonta? Thank you!" He says it so happily. "Gonta also has something for you... A gift that Gonta hopes Momota will like."
"Huh? Y-You too?"
"Is... Is that not okay? Did Gonta do something wrong?"
"No, you're fine. I wasn't expecting a gift is all." Momota can see Gokuhara's expression has gone from happy to fragile. "Why don't you go first! Or I'll go first! No, wait, you go first, Gonta!"
"R-Right. Gonta will go first!"
Gokuhara, who had been hiding a present behind his back, then produces it. It's a very well-wrapped box. It looks like someone took a lot of care to wrap it, red paper with black polka dots and tied up with a white ribbon.
Momota takes the box and stares at it blankly. It... looks too perfect to open. But he knows that would hurt Gokuhara's feelings, so he pulls the ribbon and delicately unwraps it which takes longer than just tearing it open. But it's so obvious Gokuhara put all his heart into this that he doesn't want to shred it.
"Huh...? Chocolates?"
"Gonta is..." He's now blushing. "Gonta is... very stupid, and clumsy. Gonta wanted to get a good gift, but was told that homemade gifts are the best. But this gift is also because of Iruma who helped with the cooking, and Shirogane who helped with the decorations. Gonta... would like you to have this, Momota!"
"I... Wow. It..." He's momentarily overcome. "I don't know what to say..."
But Gokuhara has taken this to mean he made a mistake automatically.
"...Gonta never asked if Momota liked chocolates! What if you don't?! Gonta... is so sorry! Gonta really is an idiot!"
"H-Hey! Knock it off! Don't apologize for things I'm not upset about! I... I do like chocolate, Gonta."
"Oh... That's good! Gonta tasted them himself. Iruma wanted to add weird ingredients, but Shirogane advised against it!"
Weird ingredients... Did he even want to know...?
"Thanks, Gonta! They look great."
"Thank you!" He smiles and blushes. "Gonta... wanted to show his appreciation and... affection."
"Affection...?"
"...Gonta has heard that Valentine's Day is a day for romantic... things. But Gonta is stupid and clumsy, and has no experience in this area, aside from..." He pauses, looking to Momota. "Gonta is happy he got it right this time. Gonta is happy his words were enough even though they weren't very good."
"You don't have to apologize so much. You didn't do anything wrong."
"Thank you!"
"You also don't have to thank me every time I say something nice. It... It makes me want to protect you, you know?"
"Eh? Protect Gonta? No! Unacceptable! Gonta will protect everyone, including Momota! Gonta does not need protection!"
"Shut up! I get to decide if I protect you or..." This conversation is already exhausting. "Shit, I don't even know what I'm saying. I..."
"What's wrong?"
"Well... You... We..." As the words come out of his mouth, they tumble awkwardly. There's still something he wants to say, but he's not sure how to say it. "I... still have to give you my gift."
"Ah! Yes. Sorry!"
"Quit apologizing, it's not that big of a deal."
"Sorry for apologizing!"
Oh dear...
Letting it slide is probably the easiest way to move forward in this conversation. Very slowly, he pulls a bag of candy from his pocket and hands it to Gokuhara.
They're honey candies. Little yellow hexagonal candies, wrapped in plastic. It's a fairly large bag of them.
"I... Well... I didn't make them myself, because I'm shit at making gifts like that. And I didn't know if you liked chocolate or could eat chocolate, so... I thought I'd get you these. They're... made out of honey. And... honey comes from bees, right? Like, the bees make the honey... And the bees... Well, they make honey for themselves, but they also have plenty to give away to everyone else, and they're pollinating shit and stuff so we can have food, and they always work together, and... I... I don't know... You... You're kind of like that, Gonta. Not like a drone or anything, but like you... you're... You're a good person. And that's why I... want you by my side. Does that make sense?"
"..."
"So, I got you some honey candies so at least you'd... I don't know. Maybe you'd realize that I can... help take care of you too. You don't have to look after me all the time... I can look after you too... if you'll let me. And... I have no fucking idea what I'm saying, I hope you like honey, I'll get you chocolate if you want chocolate but I had no idea what kind of thing you liked... Sorry."
"..."
Gokuhara has a blank expression and that would worry Momota, except that... all at once Gokuhara breaks out into hysterical sobbing, tears and snot running down his face, awkwardly rubbing at his glasses.
"Sh-Shit! Don't cry! I... What did I do...?!"
But Gokuhara shakes his head.
"Gonta is... Gonta is so happy! Gonta has never had friends like this who cared so much! Gonta has never had someone special who wanted to take care of him!"
"That's no reason to cry about it!"
"Gonta is... so... so happy...!!"
"Then stop crying! You're... You're going to make it seem like I'm bullying you! You could snap me in half, you shouldn't be crying so easily! Come on, man, pull yourself together!"
"G-Gonta... will try..."
There's a wet sniffling snorting sound as Gonta tries to wipe his eyes and his nose and not be gross about it. It's absolutely gross, but Momota is still... happy.
"...Someone special, huh?"
"Eh?"
"That's what you said. I'm... someone special to you?"
"Yes. You are. You... If you'd like to be... Gonta would..."
"If I say yes, will you start crying again?"
"Gonta will... try his best not to."
"Good. Because... you look... more handsome when you smile. The crying you isn't cool at all. But, if it's you, I'll overlook it!"
"...Th-Thank you!"
"So..." Momota coughs, blushing now. "What happens next...?"
"Um... Iruma told Gonta a series of bad jokes, and said Gonta should wear something to protect himself in the bedroom, but Gonta doesn't know what clothes are safest in a bedroom. Iruma suggested a 'raincoat' but... it doesn't rain indoors."
Note to self: murder Iruma later.
"...L-Let's... just start with like... k-kissing or... something. And maybe hand holding or forehead touching?"
Now he's the one who made it weird.
"Gonta... is not experienced and very clumsy. He says things wrong and isn't very smart, but with Momota... Gonta feels much happier! So... if it's with Momota... Gonta would... enjoy that. Gonta... will do his best for Momota."
And then silence. Two people blushing and staring at each other in total silence.
"...You kinda gotta lean down a bit. I can't really reach you all the way up there."
"Oh! Yes! Sorry!"
"Quit apologizing."
"Sorry for apologizing!"
It's honestly just going to be easier if he pulls Gokuhara to him at this point. And so... that's exactly what he does.