Archive of Our Own

“That seems like an awkward way to kiss someone.”

You glance up from your book to see Cas’ face screwed up in confusion. He stares at the television, studying the scene with intense scrutiny.

You look at the TV. Cas is watching Spiderman, of all things. You hadn't even been paying attention, you'd been so lost in your book.

On screen, a soaking wet Mary Jane has peeled back Spiderman’s mask as he hangs upside down in front of her. She presses her mouth to his and once again you mentally note how weird you think that kiss is.

“Yeah, I never understood why people thought that scene was so hot.” You set your book aside and sit up, stretching. “Why are you watching Spiderman anyway?”

Cas looks at you, his eyes focused and calm. “Is there something else I should be doing?” His voice is scratchy and deep, and almost amused.

Your mouth turns up in a smile. Sometimes you can't tell if Cas is clueless or using his strange sense of humor. Either way he frequently strikes you as funny.

“No, guess not.” You look back at the screen. The setting has changed, the weird attempt at passion in the previous scene gone. “You like superhero movies?”

“Not in particular. Although I was enjoying this one until that kiss.” Cas turns slightly on his end of the couch, angling his body more towards you than the television. You figure it's as close as you're gonna get to an invitation to talk.

Cas is your friend but it's not the closest friendship you’ve got in the bunker. He's around but somehow he doesn't usually seem present, like he's lost in his own thoughts. He does come to you with questions from time to time, but you're both just as comfortable when it's quiet.

“There are a lot better superhero movies out there than this, let me tell you. And they have a lot better kisses.”

The slight turn of his head means he's about to ask you something. Just a minute angle to the side. “In what way?”

“In what way are the kisses better?” You ask to clarify. He nods and you have to think.

“Well I'm not the biggest Spiderman fan so maybe that's why I'm not into this one, but if they put him with Deadpool,” you try not to smile. “Well, let’s just say I’d be a much bigger spidey fan if they ever made that movie…” Your mind trails off for a second as you think about the possibility of Spiderman and Deadpool locked together in passion. A movement from Cas pulls you back into the moment.

You clear your throat, trying to get your mind back on track. “Thor and Jane was a better kiss. Although, maybe that's just ‘because it was Thor, he's gorgeous.  Or when Wolverine and Jean Grey kiss. Hello ,” you mock fan yourself to indicate how hot it was. “And if we can count Buffy, and we really should because she's about as badass as superheroes come, then we have to talk about Buffy and Spike. Holy cow I think I melted into a puddle the first time they kissed. And then every time after, Lord. I mean Angel is beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but Spike,” You shake your head, “there’s just something about Spike.”

“This show has angels in it?”

You grin, holding back a laugh. “No, Angel was a vampire. A beautiful vampire. Angelus was his full name.”

Cas nods, looking somewhere over your shoulder as he thinks. “So your arousal from the kiss is based on the attractiveness of the male?”

“No,” you pause, “Well kinda. I mean if you double the hot men the kiss does get hotter to me. Like Spiderman, I'm not a huge fan, but if you put him with Deadpool? Sign me up, that's hot as hell.”

“Interesting,” Cas muses softly. “Is this a typical female reaction?”

You shrug. “No idea. Sexuality is too complex, there's no way to know.”

“So you enjoy watching two males have intercourse?”

Your face flames in heat. You were talking about kissing, the jump to sex is a natural evolution, but still a little premature. And this is Cas. An angel. A real Angel. Of the Lord.

“Uh, yeah,” you chew your lip and move your eyes down to your lap. “Yeah I like two guys together if I’m watching porn.”

“Do you watch very much pornogrophy?” Cas sounds like he’s discussing the best way to cook eggs for shit’s sake.

Your face has to be purple, it’s so hot he could cook the damn eggs on it. “I don’t know, I don’t know how much is very much.” You’re picking at your fingers. You need to stop. You’re an adult and this is an adult conversation with someone who doesn’t realize the subject matter is personal. Maybe you should tell him? No, let him ask you. Better you then Dean. Dean would probably set him down in front of some anime with a box of tissues.

“Are you uncomfortable discussing this?”

You force your eyes up. “A little, but it’s ok. Why the sudden curiosity though, can I ask? Is it just because of the movie?”

Cas looks back at the television, his jaw set. “At first yes. But I’m curious about sex between humans. It’s not something anyone wants to discuss and I have questions.”

You shift straighter in your seat, making Cas turn his eyes back to you.

“Yeah it’s not usually a casual conversation unless people know each other really well.”

“I understand,” Cas turns himself back towards the television, which seems like a way for him to finish the conversation.

“No, I’m not saying I won’t talk about it with you, Cas. I’m saying that’s why some people aren’t comfortable talking about it with you. Plus you’re an angel. That’s probably a Cardinal Sin or something, right?”

Cas looks amused. The side of his mouth quirks slightly and his eyes crinkle at the corners. “No, not a sin. Angels have sex with humans on occasion you know.”

“Yeah, that’s how we get Nephilim, right?”

A nod is his only answer.

“You ever had sex?”

Those blue eyes land on you and you’d swear they looked surprised at the question, and then a little sad.

“Yes,” his hands move in his lap awkwardly, “I don’t know if I was any good at the act though. And then she tried to kill me.”

That has you speechless. Completely stunned. Your mouth is hanging open when Cas looks back at you.

“I- I don’t know what to say to that. I’m sorry. Was she- I mean, who was she? Did you know her very well?”

“She wasn’t who she said she was,” his brow furrows and you think he’s going to say more. He doesn’t.

“Ok, this is-” you shove your hair back from your face and try to figure out what to say. “Tell you what, Cas. You want to talk about this stuff, you’ve got questions or whatever, you shoot them my way. I’ll probably blush like crazy but I’ll answer them, or I’ll try anyway. Deal?”

His face clears and he inclines his head to you. “Thank you. That’s very kind.”

“I don’t know if kind is the right word, but you’re welcome.” Noise from the bunker kitchen cuts you off and you look behind you. Dean must be washing dishes. “If you want to have this conversation in private we should leave the library. I don’t care to talk about it in here but Dean would probably love to interrupt and put his two cents in. Are you okay with that?”

Cas looks through the doorway. “I’ve tried to ask Dean questions, he’s not forthcoming with his answers.”

That surprises you. The sexual innuendo the oldest Winchester throws around on a daily basis is enough to drive anyone crazy. And you’ve had to look up things he mentioned in passing more than once. Dean has obviously had more than a little sexual experience, more like sexual escapades from what you’ve found online when you went researching. He likes to use it to tease not only you, but Sam, Cas, and anyone else that’s around. You had chalked it up to a prerequisite of being his friend a long time ago.

But you need to focus on the task at hand. Cas has questions and if you’ve got answers you don’t see what’s wrong with helping him. You’re surprised that in all the thousands of years of watching humanity he hasn’t seen every sex act known to man though. Hell, he should know more than you.

“Okay, well, if you’ve got questions I’ve got answers. Or google, if I don’t know we’ll figure it out together. Deal?”

Cas extends his hand for you to shake, apparently taking the term “deal” very seriously. You shake his hand while you chuckle. He’s a bit too literal sometimes.

“Can I ask you a question?”

He seems surprised by this, his eyebrows going up slightly. It makes him look young. Well, it makes his vessel look young. Castiel isn’t young by any stretch of the imagination.

“You’re older than time, haven’t you seen enough humans getting it on that you know it all inside and out? Like, literally?”

He pulls his hand back and nods. “I’ve witnessed it on more than one occasion, yes. I wasn’t interested in it until I entered a vessel strong enough to hold me long term. The longer i’m in this vessel the stronger the urges become. Occasionally it’s overwhelming, and it has side effects.”

Side effects. Cas is referring to erections, he has to be, and he calls them “side effects.” Only Cas.

“You know you can take care of that, right?” Your face is flushing again. Your blush reflex is going to have to calm itself down if you’re gonna have this conversation. But seriously, how do you tell someone to jack off without blushing?

“I’m aware. I haven’t explored that part of the vessel. I try to ignore it. Do you masturbate frequently?”

There it is. Heat sets your chest and neck on fire. Dean drops something in the kitchen. A thought flashes through your mind that he might have actually heard Cas’ question and you’re a little embarrassed. He couldn’t have heard though, but the thought still makes you want to hide.

“Okay, we’re not talking about this here. Come on.” You stand and exit the library as quickly as possible, leading the way to your room in the bunker.

Cas follows silently behind you, the only sound he makes is the occasional rustle of his trench coat. You close the door behind him and point to a chair in the corner of your room by your desk.

“Have a seat,” you tell him, as you sit back on your bed and rest against the headboard.

He adjusts his coat and sits stiffly in the chair. He doesn’t look comfortable. He doesn’t exactly look uncomfortable but he’s not relaxed. Not like he was on the couch. Something in his posture is more rigid.

You wiggle, trying to settle in. “So,” you start, “I’ll try not to blush when we talk about this but I’m not making any promises. You sure you’re ok with talking to me about this? You wouldn’t be here otherwise, right?”

His mouth falls open a little, those full lips slightly parting as he starts to speak and then stops. “I apologize, I count you among my friends, was I mistaken?”

You sit forward on your bed. “No- no, Cas. I didn’t mean it that way, I’m sorry. You’re definitely my friend.”

“Thank you,” he seems to relax slightly, “I’m comfortable with you when it’s quiet. Are you?”

“Yeah, absolutely. It’s one of the things I like about you. I don’t feel like I have to small talk, we can just sit and chill. It’s nice.”

“I agree,” he pulls at his coat again, pulling it out from under where he’s sitting on it. “I’m comfortable with you.” You figure he means he’s also comfortable discussing these things with you. He’s fidgeting far too much with the coat.

“Why don’t you ever take that off? Doesn’t it get hot?”

He looks down at his chest and runs a palm over the front of the trench coat, his hand catching on a button. “I don’t usually think about taking it off. I don’t get hot or cold, my grace controls the vessel’s temperature.” He stands and slips it down off his arms before laying it over the back of the chair. The action is human, and something about it strikes you as very masculine. Especially as he rolls the cuffs back on his sleeves.

You look at your wall, the computer, your eyes dancing around. He’s a good looking guy but you’ve never let yourself entertain any kind of dirty thoughts about him. That’s probably because you always think of him as an angel, but when he does something human like that, like the quick flash of his tongue as he licks his lips when he sits down, it makes your mind sizzle just a bit.

“So where were we?” you ask to distract yourself.

“Masturbation.”

You smile, pressing a hand to the heat in your face. “Right, you asked if I do it frequently.” Cas stares at you, those blue eyes don’t waver. “Yeah I guess I do, four or five times I week. I don’t know if that’s normal but it’s average for me.”

“And you never search out a partner?”

“Well, I could. I guess I could pick someone up at a bar, but one night stands usually aren’t that great for me. Sex gets better the more I get to know someone, when I learn what they like and they learn what I like.”

“Sam and Dean seem like perfect partners for you then, you know them both very well.”

“Uhh…” you try to keep your expression neutral, “no, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Dean does pretty well with random girls from the bar. He doesn’t like any kind of attachment, I think me living with him would be way too close to home. And Sam likes a serious attachment, he tries to keep in contact with one night stands for crying out loude. Besides, they’re like my brothers in a weird way.”

Cas nods. The conversation seems to have stalled, and a couple awkward minutes go by where neither of you say anything. Silence with Cas is usually fine but in this situation it feels weird. Finally you can’t take it anymore.

“Any other questions?” You need to either get him talking again or get him out of your room. Come to think of it he’s never been in your room before. Maybe that’s why he seemed uncomfortable before.

His focus turns back to you. You don’t know where it was before but it was far away. He arches a brow as he looks at you. His eyes seem to be looking all over your face.

“What do you do when you masturbate?”

Oh dear god, what have you gotten yourself into? You blow out a breath as you think.

“Uh,” you try not to smile, this is a serious conversation, “I usually watch some porn. Sometimes I use a vibrator, sometimes just my hand. Is that what you mean?”

“Yes,” his hands flex in his lap, “you watch two attractive men?”

“Yeah,” you nod a little too emphatically, “but sometimes I’ll watch het, not very often though. Two girls are good if they’re really into each other and not just playing for the camera. Same with masturbation, male or female, either one. I’m not real picky, Cas.”

His brows are drawn together. “Het?”

“Heterosexual porn. Most of it sucks because it’s made for men, so all the angles showcase the girl. If I can find it where it shows the guy then I like it. I want to see his face and hear him, probably why I like two guys together. I don’t have to listen to some chick fake screaming her way through a thirty minute orgasm. That’s just obnoxious.

“Interesting. This must be why Dean likes two women together in porn.”

You laugh at that, making Cas look at you quizzically. “Yeah, a lot of guys do. You watch a lot of porn with Dean?”

“No, but I’ve seen it when he doesn’t get his laptop closed quickly enough.”

You snort. “So did you like it? Two women?”

He looks at the wall, obviously considering this carefully. “Yes. It caused side effects.”

There he goes again, referring to a hard on as a side effect. “You mean an erection, right?”

He nods.

“So why haven’t you “explored that part of your vessel” or whatever,” you make air quotes around the words.

“I don’t know. It seems like it would be an inconvenience.”

Your eyebrows go up. “I’ve never heard it called that before. It feels good, like, really good. Anything like that isn’t an inconvenience to most people.”

There’s a twitch in Cas’ jaw. “Perhaps I’ll try it. You recommend pornoghraphy to help facilitate things, do you have any other advice?”

“I- I don’t know,” you’re fighting a laugh, not wanting Cas to feel like you’re laughing at him, “it’s a pretty individual thing. Maybe some lube, when I watch guys sometimes they use lube on themselves. Or they have fleshlight things, maybe try one of those?”

“What’s a fleshlight?”

How the hell do you explain that? “It’s like a tube kinda thing, shaped like a big flashlight, the inside is…” You can’t finish that sentence because you don’t honestly know what the inside is, you’ve never really seen one in person. “Wait, I’ll google it.”

You walk to the desk and power on your laptop. Cas is sitting a mere inches from your hip. You’ve never taken this much notice of his presence before, but right now you can’t help seeing the dark hair that dusts his arm where his sleeve is rolled back. He’s kind of tan too, he never shows any skin, that’s probably why his complexion seems new to you. His hands are loose in his lap, his fingers long and beautifully male.

You’re blushing again. You wish your laptop wasn’t so slow.

“Here, sit.”

That rough voice is low, he brushes behind you as he stands so you can have the chair. You didn’t really want to sit, you want to move back to the bed and put the room between you again, but you sit. And then your face is level with his stomach. His belt buckle is sitting in your peripheral vision, making you think about sliding the leather open, unbuttoning that shirt…

The startup chimes from your laptop cut off that thought. You need to pull yourself together. A half an hour ago you were reading a book in the library, now you’re googling fleshlights and having horny thoughts about an angel. What the hell is your life right now?

“Okay, well then,” you clear your throat as you try to find words to describe what’s on your screen, “I had no idea these things were this complicated.”

Cas squats beside you and you don’t notice at all the way his slacks pull taut over his thighs. Nope. Not even a little.

He’s studying the monitor, his eyes squinted. “They do come in an array of choices. The mouth seems attractive.”

You want to facepalm. So Cas likes mouths apparently. “Yeah, and they’re molded after porn stars. They do that with dildo’s too.”

“Do you have a phallis molded after a porn star?” He looks at you inquisitively, those blue eyes completely innocent.

You shake your head no. “Nah, if I’m gonna use one the most important thing is that it vibrates. I don't really care whose dick it looks like.”

“Vibration is important stimulation for a woman?”

His face is so beautiful, why had you never noticed it before? His mouth is so full, the lips a little dry. His strong jaw is stubbled with a black shadow. You could raise your hand from your lap and touch it. You don’t dare.  

“A lot of women like it, yeah.”

He seems to ponder this deeply. “I wonder why my father didn’t give human males the ability to vibrate.”

“That’s a damn good question,” you reply in all seriousness.

“What is it about the vibration that you like?”

“Well, a clit is really sensitive, so that sensation on or near it is really nice.” That’s not a good explanation and you know it. You struggle to find better words, and then a memory from a few years ago pops into your mind. “I know, come here.”

You unplug the laptop and pack it over to your bed, sitting it on the nightstand. You pull out the drawer and grab a small vibrator. Cas is standing in front of you.

“Sit down,” you turn and pat the bed beside you. His weight makes a dip in your mattress. You pull your leg up between you and scoot a little closer as you flip on the vibrator and hold it up. “It’s clean, I promise.”

He doesn’t say anything, just looks at the tiny pulsing purple device between your fingers.

“I was in an adult store a couple years ago and the lady working was explaining to this guy about vibrators. She said the closest sensitivity to a woman’s clit is the tip of the nose, and when she touched him with it his eyes looked like an owl. You want to feel it?”

He moves his eyes from the device to your face and nods yes.

He follows your fingers as they move toward his face, and as it touches his nose his lips part into an O.

“It seems like the sensation might be overwhelming.”

“For some women it is,” you flip it off, “I buy the adjustable ones so it can go from a slow, soft vibration up to fast and hard. I've seen guys use them too in videos.”

“Can you show me?”

For a second you think he's asking you to use it on him. Heat floods your face and neck, and then you realize he's asking to see a video.

“Yeah, sure- let me search it.” You turn your focus completely to your laptop and try to repress the filthy thoughts that had flashed through your mind at the idea of using a vibrator on Cas.

You scroll through pornhub, skipping over the majority of videos because they're nowhere near relevant to your search. “The biggest frustration with porn is finding what you're looking for. You're gonna get all kinds of crazy stuff first, and some of it is downright disturbing.” You shake your head as you fly over a particularly graphic scene.

You spot one that looks decent and hit play, shifting the laptop so both you and Cas can see. He's a couple feet from you on the bed, room enough to set it between you.

The guy in the video is faceless, all you can see is from the neck down. A nice set of abs is covered in a dusting of dark hair. His jeans are open and tugged down his hips, and he's got a vibrator in the palm of the hand wrapped around his cock.

The muscles in his stomach tense as his hand slides up, and his breathing is heavy, mixed with soft moans.  This video is a gem, you need to remember to bookmark this one.

You clear your throat, wanting to drown out the desperate sounds the guy is making. He's leaking now, precome dripping onto that beautiful stomach.

“Yes,” Cas turns towards you and the laptop a little, so he can get a better view, “that certainly looks enjoyable. What about this?” He points to an ad know the sidebar where a guy is going down on a girl.

“Oral? What about it?”

“You find it pleasant?” It's like you're discussing art or cookies or something.

“Me personally? Yes. Absolutely. One of my favorite things to give and to receive.”

Cas looks closer. “How do you go about it? Are there instructions?”

You cover your mouth and try to hide your laugh in a fake cough. You pull up a video on the laptop and hit play. “No. There aren’t many sex manuals lying around, that I know of anyway. I can’t speak for everyone, but I think as a general rule though women like broad, flat licks with your tongue, circles and back and forth across the clit. Some like a lot of flicking with the tongue, you see that in porn a lot but I don't generally like that. Maybe kiss and bite on her thighs, but never her clit. No teeth down there. Ever.”

Cas is watching the video enraptured. He's barely nodding to acknowledge that you're speaking, but his eyes are glued to the screen. He leans in closely, his eyes narrowed.

“The fingers inside her help bring her to orgasm?”

You close your eyes, take a breath. When did your life take such a bizarre turn that you’re sitting here discussing oral with Cas?

“Sometimes. Not necessary for me though.”

He watches as the guy stops the oral and climbs up the girl's body. “He tried to kiss her and she turned away.” Cas looks at you with a cocked head.

You nod. “People who won’t kiss you after you go down on them are the worst kind of people, Cas.”

He doesn’t seem to have noticed your answer. He’s watching the screen again. They’re having sex now, she’s screaming like an idiot.

“This is loud.”

You mute the laptop. “It’s also fake. Don’t get me wrong, some people are loud, but no one is coming continuously for thirty minutes like that.”

He closes the laptop and looks at you. You’d swear he studies your lips a little too long, but that’s probably your out of control hormones. You most certainly don’t look at his lips.

“Porn probably isn’t a good teacher, most of it isn’t realistic.”

“Then how should I learn?”

You don’t entertain the thought of being his personal tutor. Of course not. You would never.

“You probably need to find a partner that you trust.” You shrug a little. It’s not like a school for sex he could go to.

“I trust you,” he says matter of factly.

If that was a proposition it wasn’t anywhere near clear enough. It had to be, though. Didn’t it? What the hell else could he mean by that?

“You’re a good teacher,” he goes on, “you seem to have a lot of patience.”

You look back and forth between his eyes, searching them. “Cas, are you asking me to…” The words trail away. If that’s not what he was saying then you just made a huge fool of yourself, but you can’t figure any way to interpret his statements.

“Would you teach me to kiss?”

Well that’s a blunt enough question. Definitely won’t be confusing that one.

“You’ve kissed before, right?”

He nods. You’re certain he’s taking glances at your lips now.

“Not often. I’d like to be sure that I’m satisfactory.”

Satisfactory. Only Cas would use a term like that when it comes to kissing.

“We can try it, but like I said before, it’s all personal preference. What I like the next person might not.”

“I understand.”

Right. Okay then. Might as well do this. Kissing an angel. That’s a hardship you never thought you’d endure.

You move the laptop out of the way and scoot closer. Cas doesn’t move. He sits very still.

“Are you going to kiss me or am I supposed to kiss you?”

He looks around a little, eyes shifting, and you figure you’re going to have to be the one to initiate.

“I’ll do it this time, but next time it’s on you.” Next time. Why did you even say that? Why would you assume there’s a next time?

You move even closer. You’ve never been this close to him face to face. He may be an angel, strong enough to smite demons and lift cars, but most of the time Cas doesn’t come off as intimidating. When he’s this close, looking down at you through those dark lashes, he’s pretty damn intimidating. And beautiful.

You lean in, angling your head up, and press your lips to his gently. His lips are dry, but warm and still soft somehow. He kisses back, just a firm press, and you pull away.

“I’m going to open my mouth now,” you warn him, and then feel dumb. He doesn’t need a play by play. He’s done this before.

You watch his mouth as you lean in again, not wanting to meet his eyes. With a slight parting of your lips and a touch of your tongue his mouth opens to you. You can feel him breathing. You didn’t know angels had to breathe. That’s a stupid thought.

You angle your head more and deepen the kiss and he returns it. His hands move to your arms, like he wants to touch you but doesn’t know where. You lean in a little more, not thinking about it, and one of his hands slides to cup your face.

You hadn’t expected him to touch you, but you can’t complain. Your hand moves to his knee, fingers pulling at the fabric of his slacks. At first you were directing the kiss, he was following you, but he’s taken over now. His other hand slides into the back of your hair, anchoring your head in place, and he’s exploring your mouth with his tongue. It’s still gentle, but he’s definitely in charge.

You tentatively put a hand on his cheek. The sound he makes at the touch is somewhere between a moan and a growl. You pull back, searching his face. His lips are even fuller, pink and swollen. God he’s fucking gorgeous.

“Was I not good?” He asks, face full of questioning concern.

“No,” your hand is still on his face, thumb brushing over his cheekbone. “No, you were more than good.”

“Can I kiss you again?”

You barely nod and his mouth is on yours. He’s leaning into your space now, pressing as close as he can. This is not the way you thought this would go. This is moving into hot and heavy at warp speed.

The kiss goes on and on, you don’t know how long. You haven’t made out with someone like this since you were a teenager, but you can’t say you’re not enjoying it. Hell, maybe you’re enjoying it a little too much.

Hands roam, tentative touches to legs, backs, necks, all trying to find what the other likes, what they want. This kiss that was meant for evaluation is quickly leading other places.

When your hand trails down the front of his shirt, down the row of buttons, you aren’t expecting it to bump something hard at his waist.

He breaks away, mouth open, staring at you. His blue eyes are almost black, his pupils are so wide. He looks dazed.

You glance down at his crotch. Yep. Just what you thought. He’s hard as concrete, straining his slacks.

“I’m sorry,” you say. You hadn’t known he’d be hard, but you should have realized. Hell, if you were a guy you’d be hard right now.

“No, I’m sorry,” he stands awkwardly, trying to adjust his slacks. “It’s inappropriate.”

“What?” You look up at him. He looks so uncomfortable, like he might try to leave. “It’s not inappropriate. It’s kind of flattering, actually. I mean, I know it’s not necessarily for me, it’s one of those side effects, but still.”

You pat the bed beside you and he reluctantly sits.

He looks at you with a meek smile. “Side effects.” It’s a joke in that strange Cas sense of humor.

You smile, trying to reassure him. “It’s fine, Cas. We were getting pretty hot and heavy there. If I were a guy I’d be having the same issue.”

He seems a little surprised by this. “Could I help you?”

He can’t be asking what you think he’s asking. Could he? No way. “I’m not sure I know what you’re asking me.”

“I assume you’re going to masturbate, as you told me to do. Can I help?”

Nope. You were wrong. He’s asking exactly what you thought he was. You should have known that by now. You keep thinking he’s not being blunt when he actually is.

“I, uh,” you clear your throat, “I’m not sure what to say here. Is that crossing a line in our friendship? Will it make things weird?”

“Why would things be weird?”

Yeah. Once again, not something you can easily explain. “This kind of thing is really intimate, it’s hard for some people to stay friends after they cross that line. I don’t want that to happen to us. I don’t want to see you on the couch and we can’t even look at each other after this.”

“Should we should enter into a relationship before having sex?”

What? No, that’s most certainly not what you were asking. Where would he get that idea?

“I understand that some people save themselves for someone they commit to--”

“No,” you cut him off, “that’s not what I was saying. I was asking, if we do this, can we stay friends?”

Smile lines form at the corner of his eyes. He’d been kidding about the relationship. You hadn’t caught that. “I believe we can.”

He may have been teasing you about the relationship but the answer about being friends seems completely honest. This is something you should really be putting more thought into, but the bulge in his pants keeps distracting your thoughts. He’s not even trying to hide it. Not that he could.

You close your eyes, gather your thoughts and some semblance of composure.

“How about this, let’s go slow, try not to let our hormones take us over. We’ll just see what happens. If you want to stop at any time you tell me, got it?”

“You’ll do the same?”

You nod and he nods back. This time when he moves to kiss you it’s slower, softer. He teases your lips with his tongue and you open your mouth to him.

The heat is still there in the kiss, it didn’t fizzle out when you stopped to have a conversation. That’s a good sign. Cas is being much more cautious this time though, when you told him to slow down he almost put it in reverse. He’s not doing anything but kissing you.

You put your hands on his face and pull back a little. “Not that slow, Cas. We’re not starting over.”

He starts to answer but you don’t let him, your kiss cutting him off with a “Hmmff,” sound.

He seems to catch on quickly, his one hand moving to the back of your hair again. You take your time, kissing and exploring some more, but now that you’ve got the idea in your head that you could do this with Cas you want your hands on him. That’s the opposite of taking it slow, which is what you asked for.

You can’t do it. Your let your hands fall from his face, feeling the rough stubble under your fingertips as they fall away. One hand lands on his thigh, not much above his knee. The other catches the front of his shirt, grabbing a handful of fabric.

His hand tightens in your hair.

You smile into the kiss a little, letting your hand move up his thigh. He’s got nice thighs, thick, muscular. You want to get your hands on them.

You pull him in by his shirt. You can’t really get any closer, not the way you're sitting, but he tries. The hand that’s not in your hair lands on the bed by your hip, bracing him.

You manage to work a couple buttons of his shirt undone with one hand, not an easy task. You mentally high five yourself for that one, then slip a hand inside. His chest is warm, a little hair dusting the center. You can feel his collarbones as you slide a hand up his neck.

This gets a reaction out of him. His eyes don’t open but yours do, and you watch him as he opens his mouth to take a deep breath, mouth hovering over yours. He’s back to kissing you in a couple short seconds.

Your other hand is at the junction of his hip and thigh now. The “let’s take this slow” request is flung right out the window with your next move. Your hand slides around the front of his pants, landing very heavily on the bulge in his slacks.

His face moves back suddenly, heavily hooded eyes blinking at you like he’s trying to clear his vision.

“Is this okay?” You ask softly.

He doesn’t answer, not with words. Your hand massages him, gripping as much of him as you can through the fabric. His mouth is hanging open, and with the movement of your hand it closes. He bites his lip, eyebrows raising slightly. You tighten your fingers and he tries to speak. He mouths the word yes and it’s all the encouragement you need.

His hand slips from your hair, then holds onto your arm. He loses his balance on his other hand and pushes in too close, making your teeth bump together.

“I’m so…” He was trying to apologize but the word slips away with his breath. His hips rock slightly, moving him against your hand. He doesn’t seem to be sure about if he should move though, or maybe how he should move is a better description.

You pull your hand away, placing both palms on his shoulders and meeting his eyes.

“Can I?”

He knows what you mean, can you undo his pants. He almost seems embarrassed, mouth opening like he’s going to say something, maybe protest. His eyes avert instead, his head dropping, and you know he’s giving you the okay.

You purposefully move your hands from his shoulders and down to the waist of his pants. He leans back a little, letting you tug his shirt from his slacks. Working the button open isn’t easy with him sitting, but you manage, and then you lower the zipper.

You tug them down enough, his boxers pulling down with his pants, and his cock works free. It’s heavy, the head red and already leaking from the tip. You don’t touch him yet, instead you move in and kiss his neck, whisper in his ear.

“Let me do this for you, okay?” You reach down and take his cock in your hand. It’s hot, his pulse beating in the head. It has to be uncomfortable it’s so heavy, and you imagine Castiel, Angel of the Lord, has the most colossal set of blue balls ever in existence.

Stroking him gently, kissing his neck, listening to his breathing, it’s about the hottest thing you’ve ever experienced. His head falls back every so often, like he can’t be bothered to hold it up, and then he raises it again.

One of his arms slips low behind your waist. His hips try to rock, not easy to do when sitting.

You run a thumb through the precome on the head, sliding it back and forth, and he stops breathing.

“You like that?”

His head falls back again. You take the opportunity to kiss the stubble on his chin. His hand is clutching his thigh in a death grip.

You reach over and take his hand, moving it to his own cock. His fingers wrap around it, and his head moves so that he can look down at his waist. He watches his hand, with yours over it, slide up and down the length.

His eyes meet yours and they look almost desperate. “It feels better when you do it,” he admits.

He puts a hand on your thigh, high up, like he’s going to try to reciprocate.

“Cas,” you stop his hand, “just lay back and relax.”

“I want to pleasure you as well,” he says, looking almost worried.

“We’ll figure that out later. We need to get you off first.”

He concedes, laying back on your bed. His head is on your pillow, and he kicks his shoes off before moving his legs to lay on the bed. He’s still fully dressed, just the middle of his body showing.

You unbutton his shirt fully, looking at his chest and stomach, leaning down to kiss his belly. His pants are down far enough, but they’re trapping his legs together, so you pull them down and off one leg. He watches all this, his jaw twitching occasionally.

Finally you lay down beside him, head over his waist, and take him in your hand again. When you put your mouth over the head he groans, hips raising straight up towards the ceiling, trying to invade the heat of your mouth. He throws an arm over his eyes to cover his face, probably not wanting you to see how desperate he is.

You use your hand to help you, letting spit run down between your fingers to slick them. Licking up and down the shaft makes his legs slide around, like he can’t hold them still, and a hand lands on the back of your head.

“I didn’t know it could feel like this,” he grunts, his voice somehow even lower than normal.

You smirk up at him. “We’re not even to the good part yet.”

You sink your mouth down on his cock, lower, lower, as far as you can take him. Then with hard suction you wrap your hand around what won’t fit and raise up. Three times like that and he makes a sound like someone punched him in the gut.

Both his hands land on your head, holding it but not forcing it down. His thighs spread open, muscles quivering, and you consider trying to find his prostate. Probably not the best time though, best not to spring that on someone. Save that for later.

Your other hand cups his balls as you move in rhythm. His breath is coming in little short huffs of air. His chest looks flushed, muscles in his chest jumping with your movement.

“Yes,” he manages to say through gritted teeth, “yes.” And then he moans, loud and long, his come dumping into your mouth, down your throat.

He twitches and jerks in your mouth for what seems like minutes. You’ve never seen a guy get off that for that long, but considering how long it’s been for him maybe that’s normal. When you finally pull your mouth off he’s so out of breath he looks like he just ran a marathon.

“You okay?” You ask, moving up to lay beside him.

His eyes open slowly as he turns his head toward you. “Okay would be an understatement.”

You smile at him, you can’t help feeling a little proud looking at his face. He looks so relieved and relaxed.

He rolls to his side and kisses you, deep and long. “What did you say about kissing someone after you go down on them?”

That conversation seems like hours ago now. “Nothing important, you passed that test anyway,” you tell him. He probably tasted his own come in your mouth, you certainly can’t make a complaint about him not kissing you afterwards.

He pulls you closer him, his arm wrapping tight around your lower back. His hand slips under the hem of your shirt and his warm palm slips over your skin. His rough chin presses into your neck and he takes a deep breath, kissing the sensitive skin there.

“You’re very soft,” he says, his voice low.

You slide your hand up his forearm. He’s still wearing his dress shirt, it’s open where you unbuttoned it, but he never took it off. Now you wish he had.

His hand pushes up the back of your shirt more, moving around your ribs. His thumb traces under your bra, making you arch up slightly.

You roll to your side to face him and kiss him again. You hook your foot behind his upper leg and pull it between your own. Your feet lock behind his thigh and you rock against it, loving the pressure it gives on your clit.

He’s still hard, to your surprise. His cock is pressed between you and when your rock your hips it gives him friction as well. A strong hand cups your ass as he pushes his thigh up into you harder.

“Fuck, Cas,” you whisper into his lips.

“I’d like your clothes off,” he tells you.

Yeah, that’s not a bad idea at all. You pull out of his arms and strip your shirt off, tossing it away. Your bra quickly follows and you notice how his eyes roam over your body. Pants and panties are quickly gone too, and then you’re laying down beside the angel fully naked and exposed.

His hand hesitates over your stomach, tentative when it finally makes contact. He moves it gently up your side, feeling the soft, sensitive skin under each breast. You can’t help a little gasp as his palm skims each nipple, barely any contact, but still setting all your nerves on fire.

You let him explore your body, feeling every inch, as you slip a hand between your legs. You firmly rub your mound, then slip a finger inside to touch your clit.

His head bows and those full lips part, pink tongue teasing each nipple. Your legs spread wider and you dip a finger inside your pussy, testing how wet you already are.

His hand follows your arm, down your hand and fingers, feeling you touch yourself. He doesn’t interfere, his fingers resting lightly on yours, learning your movements. He does this for several minutes, watching your face, which makes you almost flinch, your mouth part, your eyes draw together.

When you stop and grab his hand he cocks his head ever so slightly, questioning what you’re doing.

You push his hand down, taking a finger and pushing the tip inside you, and then he understands. He sinks his finger into you slowly and you move back to your clit. He fucks you with that finger, slow and deep while his tongue flicks your nipples, and you let your legs fall open and relax fully.

He moves suddenly, and you open your eyes to see what he’s doing. He moves down, between your legs, and settles with his face inches from your clit. He looks up at you, waiting for permission, and you pull your hand away and give him a simple nod.

He licks up you in one long slow swipe, like he’s tasting you. He finds your clit and slides his tongue back and forth over it, blue eyes looking up at you for approval. You can’t give him any, you can’t do anything but let your mouth fall open and your head flop back onto the pillow.

He seems to know that’s a yes, and he continues. He plays with your clit, circling, up and down, back and forth, changning what he’s doing and driving you crazy.

Your hands tug in his short, dark hair, pulling his face in tighter to you. Then you push his head back ever so slightly so he’s only using the tip of his tongue. Your hips rock as you get closer and closer.

He reaches a hand up and lightly pinches one of your nipples.

“Oh, god, Cas,” you whine, “I need to come, please let me come.” You look down at him between your thighs. His hair is sticking up all crazy, his eyes half closed as he watches you. His full mouth eating you like you’re a delicacy.

He doesn’t change what he’s doing now, focusing fully on your clit and the movements that made you react the most before.

“Yes, just like that, that’s perfect,” you praise him.

He’s relentless now and you can’t hold still. Your hands shifting constantly, thighs squeezing his head and then spreading apart, desperate to come. You can feel it building in your belly, like it’s winding itself up, and then it snaps.

You come, hard, walls fluttering and clenching. You cry out, half raising up, and Cas doesn’t stop. He licks you through it, waiting for your cue to stop.

You’re breathless when you look down at him, his face wet and slick with spit and you. “Is your dick still hard?”

He nods once.

“Do you want to fuck me?”

He crawls up you in an instant, his heavy cock settling between your thighs, and you reach down to guide him in. He stretches you perfectly, making you feel full. You can’t hold your eyes open, and when he bottoms out your run your nails up his back, making him shiver.

He’s watching you when you open your eyes. He’s still wearing that damn shirt, the sleeves rolled up to the elbow. You smile up at him, gripping his ass and grinding him into you.

“Fuck me,” you tell him.

He starts slow, feeling how tight you are around him, eyes closing and groaning as he moves in and out. He builds a rhythm, faster, faster, until he’s got his weight on you, his face resting in the pillow beside your head.

You try to get your hand between your legs to rub your clit, but he’s too heavy on top of you. He feels good, he feels amazing actually, but if you could rub your clit you’d be able to come again.

“Cas,” you whisper. You turn your head and whisper into his ear, “Hey, Cas.”

He stills inside you. “Is something wrong,” he raises enough to look at you.

“No, it’s fine. Just let me flip over.”

His eyes dart around as he thinks, and then he pulls out and sits back on his heels.

You sit up on your knees and kiss him, tugging that damn shirt down his arms and off. You can feel his biceps now, slide your hand up over his shoulders. His hands land on your hips and then slide up, arms wrapping around you tightly.

When you break away finally you turn, situating yourself on all fours. “I couldn’t get my hand between us to rub my clit. I can in this position.”

You spread your legs and look over your shoulder, seeing him admire your ass in the air. He moves between your legs and watches your hand massage your clit. Your head falls down, relaxing, as he pushes into you again.

You can’t help but moan as he fucks you now, and the sounds seem to make him crazy. Each time you whine, groan, or moan, he snaps his hips harder. He feels incredible, fucking you harder and harder, your fingers working your clit.

His hands grip your waist tightly, and soon you can’t hold yourself up with one arm any longer. Your body is rocking so hard from his thrusts that you simply give up, letting your face fall into the bed.

He pushes one hand up your spine, the base of his palm massaging, and when he gets to your neck he grips your hair tightly.

“Fuck, Cas,” your voice is muffled into the sheets, “yes, fuck me.”

One hand holds his weight on your shoulder, the other tugging at your hair, and he fucks you harder than you’ve ever been fucked in your life. He’s holding you in place or you’d simply melt into the bed with the force of it. Your hand keeps working your clit, never stopping, and every so often your walls flutter with an orgasm quickly approaching.

He feels it too, his hips snapping harder, which seems impossible. “Yes,” he says, and somehow he makes the word sound like a command, like he’s telling you to come. The thought of that makes you clench around him and he pulls at your hair.

When you come it’s so hard it’s almost painful, you clench and seize around his cock, all while he continues to fuck you. He growls, leaning down and biting into your shoulder, and you can feel his cock twitching, the heated slick of him coming inside you. Your walls don’t stop fluttering until he collapses his weight onto you, and you can’t help but be a little surprised by the dominating turn he took there at the end. Not that it was a bad thing.

“Damn,” you say, as he rolls to his back, “didn’t expect that at the end there.”

When you roll your head to look at him he’s lying with his arms behind his head. Miles of tanned skin on display, his cock still coated in come. His hair is still sticking up where your hands were in it, and his lips are swollen and pink. He looks like living sex.

“What do you mean?” He asks.

“You got a little dominating there, not that it’s a bad thing.”

He stares at the ceiling for several seconds and then looks at you. “Would you like me to be more or less dominant?”

That makes you smile. You don’t really have an answer for that, so you shrug. “I don’t know, guess we’ll see how it goes next time.”

You realize the implication of what you said after the words are out, but there’s no taking them back at that point.

“Will there be a next time?”

You think on that, trying to read him. Cas isn’t easy to read in this situation. “If you want there to be. We don’t have to though.”

Smile lines form at the corners of his eyes, one side of his mouth quirking up. “I think I have a lot to learn.”