Chapter Text
Christen Press sat in the University of Texas visiting locker room staring at the ground beneath her cleats. She had been staring at the same section of flooring for almost an hour and she couldn’t even tell you what the color of the carpet was. Her team had shuffled in after the game with sweat soaked jerseys and teary eyes. Her coach somberly confronted them and gave a speech no one wanted to hear and one Christen didn’t listen to at all. He probably congratulated on a great season--the best one in program history. He probably told them to be happy with what they accomplished regardless of the final dagger in their season. But Christen didn’t want to smile; she wanted to feel the pain. Around her, Christen’s teammates cried and let out frustrated sighs. She heard a loud thud as Kelley smashed her fist into the side of a wooden locker, but she still didn’t move.
Slowly, her teammates began filtering out of the locker room to find comfort from their family and friends waiting outside. But Christen sat frozen. She didn’t think about the 21 goals she scored or the impressive highlight reel she created this season. She thought about every shot she missed. The ones that sailed wide, got deflected by defenders, or went right into the goalie’s gloves. She thought about her championship defeat saving goal that slammed into the edge of the post. Fitting, she thought as she let out a small, ironic laugh comparing the shot to her life. Finally, it hit her. The shock of the final whistle wore off and she couldn’t hold it in any longer. She buried her head into her hands and cried until she had nothing left to give.
“Come on, Press,” Kelley begged. They were back in their hotel room that night after the commotion of the afternoon game finally settled down.
“For the millionth time, no,” Press said tucked under her covers with her glasses on and a book on her lap.
“Please, Press. It’ll be fun,” Kelley jumped onto Christen’s bed, clasping her hands under her chin and giving her the saddest puppy dog eyes she could manage.
“Kell, no,” Christen shook her head. “I’m tired and we have an early flight tomorrow and not to mention I don’t exactly feel in the mood to smile, let alone party.”
“Chris, come on. That’s all the more reason too! It’s going to be fun. Everyone’s going to be there. We can pack tomorrow or tonight when we come back drunk,” Kelley winked.
“How can you even think about drinking? We lost the national championship. You do remember that, right?”
Kelley visibly winced at the reminder of the game and let out a long sigh.
“Yes,” Kelley said her tone lacking it’s previous excitement. “I remember it. I remember getting red carded and letting my entire team down, you especially. And that’s exactly why I want to go. I want to forget the game for a minute. As corny as coach was, I want to remember all of this for the great times. I want to celebrate with my team and my best friends one last time before it’s all over,” she said and Christen began to understand where she was coming from. “So please, Press. For me. Come out, have a few drinks, and let’s celebrate one more night of this season together.”
Christen shut her book and sighed. “Fine,” she said and Kelley’s face immediately beamed. “But I’m not smiling,” Christen said sternly pointing her finger at Kelley.
“I would never ask you to do something so horrible,” Kelley laughed as she pulled her best friend into a tight bear hug.
“Press, relax,” Kelley whispered to the girl by her side as they approached one of the school’s practice fields. Girls from all four of the teams at the college cup were gathered on the field with some University of Texas frat guys drinking and dancing in the barely lit field. “Why’d you come if you’re just going to overthink everything?” Kelley winked.
“Because you,” Christen fumed knowing in the back of her head Kelley was kidding but was being overshadowed by the rage of her friend knowing exactly how to push her buttons.
“KELL BELL!” Someone yelled interrupting Christen’s anger spurt. Kelley turned to the sound of her name and a huge smile took over her face.
“Cheney!” Kelley beamed bounding her way over to her friend from the youth national team. Christen rolled her eyes, sighed, and followed behind Kelley as they approached a group of girls. Christen cautiously stayed a few steps behind as Kelley hugged and greeted the girls with something that made them all laugh. Christen didn’t know a lot of the girls in the group but she instantly recognized, and a little star struck by, Lauren Cheney and Tobin Heath who had both competed in the 2008 Olympics.
“Tough loss today, Kell,” Lauren sympathetically put a hand on Kelley’s arm.
“No, don’t start with that,” Kelley said. “No soccer tonight. Just chugging beers,” she grinned earning her a few eye rolls and a few cheers from the group.
“Well in that case, you better go catch up,” Lauren laughed as she raised her solo cup to her lips.
“Okay, we’ll be right back,” Kelley said turning to grab Christen’s hand and dragged her through the group. Kelley didn’t bother to introduce Christen to any of her friends but Christen didn’t mind to much. Her thoughts were elsewhere anyway. As Kelley jerked Christen in the direction of the keg, Christen accidentally bumped into someone.
“I’m so sorry,” she immediately apologized as a few drops of beer spilled from the cup onto the shirt of the girl she just hit.
“It’s okay.” Christen glanced up and was met by a pair of warm brown eyes and the most infectious smile she had ever seen. Christen felt frozen as those eyes made her heart flutter and the smile caused one of her own to form.
“Chris,” Kelley yelled hurriedly yanking Christen’s arm and willing her body to follow her to the alcohol. Seconds after breaking eye contact, Christen began internally scolding herself for being such an idiot. She was already over analyzing the barely-two sentence exchange and cringed at how much of a fool she had made of herself. Kelley placed a cup of cold, foamy beer into Christen’s hand and Christen chugged the thing in 5 seconds. Kelley had just finished filling her cup when Christen handed over her empty one to be refilled.
“Damn, Chris,” Kelley said raising her eyebrows slightly impressed by her friend. “First you break your no-smiling rule and now you’re chugging beers,” she said filling the cup up. Christen took the full cup of beer back into her hands and ignored Kelley’s comments. She was too busy kicking herself for how stupid she acted in front of Tobin Heath.
Christen sat down in the soccer net that was set up on the end of the field farther from the flashlight lit party. She had downed several beers and had down a keg stand after persistent pestering by Kelley. She was definitely starting to feel the alcohol taking effect on her body. She had spent the past few hours dancing and talking with teammates and other players. But the lingering pit-in-her-stomach feeling kept slowly creeping up before she finally took a minute to herself.
She was watching the party from afar when one of the frat boys came over and approached her. His sloppy walk and glassed over eyes made even drunk Christen feel as if she was sober.
“Hey you,” he slurred as he got closer.
“Hi,” Christen hesitantly whispered back.
“Hot girls don’t belong in the dark. Come back and dance with me,” he held out his hand to Christen. Although she knew he was trying to flatter her, his words only made her feel uneasy and uncomfortable.
“No thank you,” Christen said politely while offering him a tight closed lip smile.
“Oh come on. Don’t be so uptight,” he said reaching for Christen’s hand.
“Don’t touch me,” Christen said pulling her arm out of his loose grasp attempt. “I want to stay here.”
“Okay, fine,” he shrugged and plopped himself down next to her clearly not picking up on the hints she was giving him. Annoyance sparked through her and she caught a whiff of Captain Morgan on his breath.
“So who are you?” He said leaning his face much closer than Christen wanted him to.
“For starters, she’s not interested.”
Both Christen and the intoxicated boy looked up slightly shocked that someone else was there. Christen’s heart began to race as she took in the girl standing in front of them. Tobin stood there in tight fitting soccer pants that hugged her calves, a ‘2009 National Champions’ t-shirt and a matching champions hat spun backward on her head.
“Fuck off. Leave us alone,” the guy said back as her draped a heavy arm around Christen’s shoulder. Christen instantly tried to shake him as her skin itched from the new contact.
“Dude, did you not hear me? She’s not interested,” Tobin repeated strongly.
“How the hell do you know what she wants? Who the hell even are you? Her bodyguard or something?”
“No,” Tobin said. “I’m just someone who’s gotten more girls than you’ll ever get in your whole life. So, trust me. She’s not interested.”
“Whatever. Fuck this,” the guy said removing his arm from around Christen and wobbled to stand up. “I don’t want a stuck up lezzie bitch anyway,” he said brushing past Tobin on his way back to the party.
“Prick,” Tobin muttered and Christen let out a little laugh. Tobin smiled at the sound and both girls were caught looking into each other’s eyes.
“Thank you,” Christen finally said.
“It was no problem. It looked like you needed some help,” Tobin shrugged.
“You were watching me?” Christen smirked and raised her eyebrows at the midfielder who remained completely unchanged at Christen’s flirtatious behavior.
“It’s kind of hard not to watch you,” Tobin shrugged making Christen thankful they were in a darkened area so Tobin couldn’t see how much she was blushing. “Do you mind if I?” Tobin asked gesturing to the spot in the grass next to Christen.
“All yours,” Christen said patting the space to her right as Tobin made her way over to sit down. As Tobin settled in, Christen’s body buzzed at the quick brushes of Tobin’s arm against hers and the scent of Old Spice deodorant. She hoped that Tobin couldn’t hear her pounding heart rate that pulsed in her ears.
“So what are you doing all the way over here, anyway?” Tobin said. “Inside a soccer goal?” she added looking at the metal pipes surrounding them.
“THE soccer goal,” Christen emphasized. “The one where I hit the post and lost the national championship,” she said pointing at the side of the net where her shot ricocheted off. Tobin laughed. “You think it’s funny,” Christen said annoyed at the mocking of the national team player.
“No, no,” Tobin shook her head. “I mean kind of. It’s just, you’re not the reason your team lost. Hell, you’re probably the reason why they got to that game. You were great today.”
“I don’t want your pity,” Christen said taking a long sip of her drink.
“I’m not lying. Seriously, you were amazing.”
“But we lost,” Christen said as her shoulders sunk down into the rest of her body.
“Winning isn’t everything,” Tobin said leaning back onto her elbows looking up at the night sky. Christen snorted at the comment.
“Coming from the girl in the national champions t-shirt with an Olympic gold medal and probably hasn’t lost anything in her life,” Christen scoffed.
“I’ve lost a ton of things in my life,” Tobin defended.
“Oh yeah? Like what?” Tobin momentarily pondered Christen’s question trying to dig through her memories.
“Oh,” Tobin sat up suddenly remembering. “In fourth grade, I lost the class spelling bee. Continent. That’s what I spelled wrong.”
“Oh silly me. And here I thought you were perfect,” Christen said sarcastically taking another big swig of her drink.
“I don’t think I’m perfect like you think I am,” Tobin responded.
“You won the national championship! Multiple times! You’re on the senior national team! You won an Olympic gold medal before you graduated college and you’re probably going to be drafted first overall in the WPS. So don’t tell me you’re not perfect!” Christen animatedly shouting. Tobin took a second to process everything Christen said silently.
“Is that what you think perfect is? Is that what you want?” Tobin said quietly with no hints of emotion in her tone.
“Of course that’s what I want! That’s what everyone here wants,” Christen said pointing to the people down on the other end of the field in front of them.
“It’s not what I want,” Tobin said quietly just loud enough for Christen to hear. Christen turned to the midfielder in complete shock and confusion as Tobin just stared down into her drink.
“You don’t?” Christen asked raising one eyebrow as Tobin just kept staring downward. Tobin just shook her head no and took a sip of the now-lukewarm beer. “What do you want then?”
Tobin thought for a second and then shrugged. “I don’t know. I just want to play soccer. Travel the world and learn and play and grow the game for everyone and give back to this sport that’s given me everything. But right now, like right this instance right now,” Tobin said pausing to finish the remaining half cup of beer in her hand. “I just want to kiss you.”
Christen’s heart began to flutter again as she just stared forward off in the distance. She was scared of getting any glimpse of Tobin in fear of her heart exploding. She could feel Tobin’s studying gaze out of the corner of her eye as she slowly processed, from all the alcohol in her system, what Tobin had just said. And she didn’t know if it was the beer or the lack of oxygen in her body from the game or how tired she was getting that fueled her to do what she said next.
She turned to Tobin and green-gray piecing eyes met the soft, warmness of chocolate brown ones.
“Then, do it,” Christen whispered.