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The bags that have developed under Tanaka’s eyes have become hard to ignore. His back hunches over as he sits, his head hanging inches above the table. The pale purple blemishes below his eyes look as though they're weighing his face down; painful and heavy. Sato has reason to believe that he hasn't slept once since he rescued him.
That's not to say that he hasn't seen Tanaka try, of course. Each day when they both retire to their rooms and Sato settles down in his bed to play video games for the next few hours, he can hear Tanaka toss and turn in the room next to his. The shuffling and quiet grunting would go on for a short while before the screaming would start. Naturally Sato would stay put and ignore it until it stopped, but he had to admit that it got on his nerves. Regardless of how crucial those nightmares may be to fuel Tanaka’s thirst for revenge and how little he desired to help, the ear-piercing screams that resonated through their base were starting to make him rethink taking him under his wing.
Sato quietly stares at Tanaka from his position in the living room, mulling over what he could do to stop this annoyance without crossing the line he made between himself and the man. He wants Tanaka to depend on him and trust him above anything and everyone else, but he also doesn't want his dependency on him to become a burden. However, if Tanaka can't sleep he will become useless; a player two who can't perform at his best is a failure and a complete waste of effort. While he dreads having to cater to someone else's emotions, this may be necessary if he plans to continue his game.
He isn't sure how to deal with victims of trauma. The thought occurred to him when he was first planning to infiltrate the building where Tanaka was kept, but whatever worries he had were quickly pushed to the side. He had deemed it “too bothersome” to research and prepare for whatever baggage Tanaka would come with. Well he was certainly regretting it now. How to go about this? Surely shooting Tanaka in the head every morning would reset his body properly, but that wouldn't do much for his mental health or his faith in his fellow ajin.
A soft thunk reaches Sato’s ears, and he turns to find that Tanaka has fallen asleep with his head on the kitchen table. There's no screaming yet, but Sato knows it's only a matter of time before he starts. He gets up to go sit across from Tanaka at the table and wait. The man’s black hair is already matted with sweat, be it due to exhaustion or fear he doesn't know, and his shoulders are shaking. Soon he begins to shudder and his breathing quickens, sobs escaping his lips as his fingers twitch and his body spasms. Strangely, Sato finds that he likes this look on the man.
Tanaka begins to hyperventilate, and the quiet sobs escalate to loud whines and screams. It's a short amount of time before his voice starts to sound raw, his outbursts echoing off of the walls and grating against Sato’s ears. Clicking his tongue, Sato gets up and begins to roughly shake Tanaka's shoulders, loosening his grip when he sees that he's beginning to wake up. He's still breathing in quick short gasps when he jolts awake, his eyes snapping open and frantically searching the room for danger. Sato stands patiently beside him with one hand still on his shoulder, waiting quietly for Tanaka to recognize him and remember where he is. Eventually he does, locking eyes with Sato as his breathing slows. He sits and stares at his face for a long while before realization hits him and he tears his gaze away from Sato’s, mildly embarrassed.
“You were screaming, Tanaka-kun.”
Tanaka shrinks back at the statement, hunching his shoulders and making himself small. This reaction confused Sato until he remembered that his default expression is completely emotionless. He probably thought that he was mad at him. He put on one of his practiced pleasant smiles, pleased to see Tanaka relax slightly.
“Have you been sleeping well?” Sato asks, pretending like he doesn't already know the answer.
“A-ah--um--yes.” Tanaka stuttered, still not meeting his eyes as his own darted around the room. “I've been sleeping wel--” He was stopped abruptly by Sato grabbing his chin and forcing him to look up.
“Don't lie to me, Tanaka-kun.” He hummed sweetly, betraying the obvious threat in his words. “The bags under your eyes are growing with each day. Have you been having nightmares?”
If Tanaka was frightened by his emotionless face before, he was petrified now. He wanted to answer Sato's question, to get out of this situation and not make him upset, but he couldn't force the words out no matter how hard he tried. He just ended up stuttering, stuck on the first word of his reply, unable to get it right. A flash of annoyance appeared on Sato's face and was instantly replaced by his fake smile.
“It's all right Tanaka-kun. You've been having nightmares about your time at the facility, haven't you.” It wasn't a question. He got on Tanaka's level and continued. “It would be troublesome if this issue continued, is there anything I can do?”
When Sato let go of Tanaka's chin he immediately looked away, focusing on the dirty floor of the kitchen. He opened his mouth and then closed it, thinking hard about what he wanted to say through the fog of anxiety and fear in his head. When he looked back up into Sato's eyes he took a deep breath.
“Can--can I sleep in your room?” Immediately after Tanaka said it, it was obvious that he regretted it, once again forcing his eyes to the floor. Sato had to admit, he wasn't pleased by the idea, nor was he convinced that it would actually work. But…
“Alright.”
Tanaka looked back up with a shocked expression. “Alright?”
“Yes, you can sleep in my room.” Satou sighed. A little peace and quiet for once would be nice, even if this was definitely one of the many things that he would consider a burden to his everyday life.
Tanaka, on the other hand, looked like he was battling with a whole slew of conflicting emotions. Relief, fear, excitement, anxiety. He didn't know what he was supposed to expect from this experience. He had thought for sure that Sato would turn him down, but now that he didn't he didn't know what to do with himself. “Ah.”
“Alright, let's go.” Satou sighed, standing back to his full height and turning around. Tanaka stumbled out of his seat as the other ajin started to walk forward, walking unsurely behind him as he followed him to his room.
“Right--right now?”
“Sure, when else? You look like you're about to keel over and die.” He reached his bedroom door--right beside Tanaka's--and began turning the doorknob. Tanaka was considering telling Sato he changed his mind, but before he could get the words out he was pulled forward into the room. “Alright. Do whatever it is you do before you go to bed, I’ll wait here.”
Tanaka flinched and began taking off his pants because he was panicking--and what else do you do when you're panicking--before Sato interrupted him. “You don't need to do that here.” He sighed, a hint of exasperation in his voice. “And if you're the type to sleep nude, at least keep your underwear on.”
“Oh--ah. Alright.” He continued taking his pants off because they were already down anyways and awkwardly climbed onto the bed. He forced himself to lay down as close to the edge as possible, body tense and strung tighter than a violin string. He could feel his face burn from humiliation, embarrassment, and some other emotion he couldn't quite place as Sato took his place on the other side. The bed shifted with his weight and some of the air trapped within the mattress poofed out as he flopped down. It smelled like nothing. Sato's entire room smelled like nothing.
“Now that can't be comfortable.” Tanaka snapped out of his reverie as he felt a hand grip his arm and pull him closer to the center of the bed. All sorts of warning bells went off in his mind as he began to panic. What was Sato going to do? Why did he agree to this so easily? What was going to happen to him?
His fears dispelled slightly when the hand disappeared and he heard Sato flop back down on his side of the bed. When Tanaka turned to look at him he found that only his back was facing him, the flashing lights of an electronic screen peeking out from behind his shoulder. He sighed and turned his gaze back towards the ceiling, relaxing. Sato was not a threat after all. “Thank you, Sato-san. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
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Everything was black. He couldn't see anything. But he could hear and feel.
The sound of a drill nearing his head. The searing pain of the instrument entering him through his forehead and drilling its way into his brain. The vibrations reaching his entire body and the taste of his own blood. The foam gathering at the corners of his mouth as he tries not to scream at the sensation, knowing that it would make no difference. Him slowly losing the ability to think at all, the sounds of the world around him fading into nothing as he feels the knife enter his chest.
Tanaka jolts awake, breathing heavily as he takes in the unfamiliar room. His eyes eventually land on Sato beside him and he remembers everything. The annoyed look on Sato's face isn't helping his anxiety. “Is this not working?” He asks, unsurprised.
“I--I don't know.” Tanaka looks away. “It's so easy to forget where I am. Maybe if I…” his eyes land on Sato's arm. In the entirety of his time at the facility he never could feel the warmth of another human. As much as this man scared him, maybe feeling the touch of another living thing could ground him. It would be stark and unfamiliar; something to remind him that he's not in that horrid place anymore. “Can I… hold your hand?”
For a moment, genuine confusion spreads across Sato's features. “Excuse me?”
“I-it doesn't have to be your hand!” Tanaka corrects himself. “Just--maybe if I had a reminder that I am not cold and alone in that place anymore I could--”
“Alright, I get it.” Sato interrupts him dismissively, holding out his hand. “Go ahead.”
“A-ah!” Tanaka nervously grabs his hand, holding it awkwardly before Sato corrects him, intertwining their fingers comfortably. “Thank you, I--”
“Please go to sleep Tanaka-kun.”
“--Kay.” He closes his eyes and tries to calm his breathing.
When he opens them again, the room is bright and he feels warmth along the length of his arm.