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“Nobody goes out in the middle of the night and sits at an old bridge for hours without a reason,” Josh blurts out, around what’s probably close to four am.
“Touché,” Tyler says.
Josh studies him for a second before letting out a low whistle. “Can’t argue with that, can I?” he adds, and laughs quietly, shaking his head. “I guess I just like the way the night feels
-
Josh is there every goddamn time Tyler goes to the bridge in the middle of the night, and Tyler doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. That doesn’t stop him from actually crying though.
You really are pathetic. Why don’t you just find another place? Why are you letting a stranger stop you?
Tyler wipes furiously at the tears running down his face. This was never how he planned for things to go. It’s all Josh’s fault. God, Tyler hates Josh with all he’s got. Why did Josh have to ruin everything? Why can’t Josh just let him die? Tyler slams a fist down on the piano’s black and white keys and sniffles pathetically. He feels so helpless and betrayed. Does it really have to be so hard to just stop existing?
When Tyler calms down and stops crying, and everything just feels like a grey, blurry mess, he takes a shaky breath and experimentally presses down a few keys on the piano. Somehow, that always makes everything a little more bearable.
-
Tyler doesn’t show up at the bridge that night, but next one he does.
“You didn’t show up yesterday,” Josh notes as he hears Tyler’s footsteps, and Tyler stops for a second before sitting down in his usual spot beside Josh. “I was worried. Glad to know you’re alright,” he nods and looks at Tyler. Tyler looks down at his hands.
‘I was worried’
The simple sentence echoes through Tyler’s mind. Josh was worried about him? Just because he was gone for a night? That’s a weird feeling, Tyler decides, a stranger caring about his well-being, if Josh can even be called a stranger anymore. They’ve met more than a few times, but they haven’t talked a lot – or, well, Tyler hasn’t talked a lot. Josh talks, but he never expects Tyler to answer unless he wants to, which Tyler really appreciates.
“I like talking to you, you know,” Josh suddenly says, breaking the silence, and Tyler feels his face heat up. “I’m glad I get to sit here with you every night, it always makes my day a little bit better- oh, hey, wait, did I say something wrong?” Josh interrupts himself when Tyler hides his face in his hands and lets out a muffled sob.
“No, no, no,” Tyler chokes out, trying to wipe the tears from his face. “No, it’s not- Sorry I’m just-“
Tyler isn’t sure how to end the sentence without sounding completely pathetic, so he just sniffles quietly. He doesn’t know how to explain that that’s the nicest thing anybody’s said to him in a long time, and what that means to him.
“No, don’t apologize! And please don’t cry, that’s the opposite of what I wanted,” Josh says softly, and Tyler scoffs quietly.
“I’m glad, too,” Tyler manages to get out, turning his head away to hide his flushed, tear stained cheeks. Josh just smiles his sunshine smile.
-
“School starts in a few days,” Josh says suddenly one night. Tyler turns his head and gives Josh a puzzled look. “I don’t know about you, but I won’t be able to come here every night then,” he finishes and looks at Tyler.
“Oh, I never thought about that,” Tyler mumbles quietly. During the few weeks he spent sitting here with Josh, it never occurred to him that anything would change that. He hadn’t even thought about school starting again. It feels like just a few days since he got out of there.
“Yeah, no, me neither,” Josh chuckles and shakes his head. “But uh, I’ve had fun these last few weeks, and I’d like to stay in touch I guess.” He looks anxiously at Tyler. “Only if you want to of course,” he adds a second later.
“I- That’s fine, I guess,” Tyler says slowly. “How d’you mean?”
“I could put my number in your phone, and you could text me, if you want to.”
“O-okay,” Tyler nods before handing his phone to Josh. Josh quickly types his number in and gives the phone back to Tyler.
“Guess it’s about time to go back home again,” he sighs as he pushes himself off of the ground. “Good luck with school, and take care!”
And with that, Josh turns around and leaves Tyler at the bridge for the last time that summer.
-
What are you expecting, Tyler?
I don-
He’s going to forget you.
But he said-
They always do, Tyler. You don’t think you’re special do you?
No, but-
Are you really that arrogant that you think you were more than a convenient way to pass the time during a boring summer? I didn’t think you were that fucking selfish, I really didn’t.
Tyler sighs and drags a hand down his face before locking his phone and placing it on the bedside table. It’s not like Josh would have answered if he’d texted him at two in the morning anyways.