Chapter Text
~Start Chapter 1~
The actions Dumbledore took were not without consequence nor reason. He learned long ago he had power over other’s lives and he shouldn’t act so brash as to cause another to die for his personal cause. He was arrogant in his youth, and perhaps even in his death. But in a war, sometimes there is just nothing one can do to evade the fact that lives will be lost for one’s cause, his cause.
His mistakes to fix.
Despite good intentions Dumbledore stood upon the precipice of death and thought to himself the lives he had twirled around his fingers during the war. It was with much regret he took his last breath remembering the people he had led into the slaughterhouse like lambs.
‘I am truly a monster deserving of my fate.’ he thought to himself as he humbly stepped towards the swirling silver mists on his deathbed.
“You can make amends in your death.” A whispering voice echoed through the ethereal world.
“And what manner of being are you?” With twinkling eyes he turned to stare upon a glowing entity in which words were unable to describe. It was mercurial in essence and he wondered briefly if his degrading eyesight had followed him into his afterlife. He was no stranger to the unknown, often welcoming it with open arms.
“An angel, I suppose, is your word for it.” She smiled and waved her arm to beckon him
forward. Dumbledore was never religious but he knew Muggles put a lot of faith into god. “Depending on your faith.”
“What if I hold no faith? What do I call you then?” Dumbledore asks, eyes twinkling as they often did, disguising how ill at ease he truly felt.
“Faith is a powerful thing, Dumbledore,” She smiled warmly. “What you choose to call me is of no importance to me. We do not hold names the way you and those living on the mortal plain do.”
It wasn’t lost on Dumbledore that she didn’t really answer his question and just kept smiling at him as if she hadn’t dismissed it entirely.
“Am I to be placed in heaven or are you here to show me the misdeeds I have done throughout my life.” His smile was hollow with regret as he stepped forward. He might as well get straight to the point if she wasn’t going to answer his curiosity.
“My child, you mistake me, humans are riddled with mistakes. Good, and bad. It is not a measure of all your deeds but rather what is in your heart and your intent. You tried to do what most couldn’t.” Her voice sounded like flowing rivers and rustling breezes through fields of flowers. It was hard to pay attention to his own negative emotions the longer her presence oozed into his space thick like honey. “Life isn’t a measure of points and deductions, the bigger question is did you try to do a little better each and every day, did you leave the world a little better than it was when you entered it?”
“I’m not sure if I have.” Dumbledore answered, mind suffocating as it attempted to latch onto his feelings of regret.
Her expression was calm, carrying an air that everything was going to be okay. Even though Dumbledore knew it might not. War was still happening around his death, as if his absence had opened up the gates to hell. He had already rolled his dice and let the chips fall where they may. Yet the supposed angel’s presence made him feel at ease with this fact, despite how desperately Dumbledore had worked until his untimely fall. Death had never been the plan, not this early. His desperation had made him prone to mistakes, to harsher decisions. Now, with the serenity provided by the being before him, he was starting to have doubts.
“It’s normal to have regrets.” She smiles, head tilting towards him as she says this fact.
“I am sacrificing so many lives, lives of people I care about, just to take down one man. I am hardly deserving, and for that, I will take my punishment without argument.” His head bowed slightly, the crinkle no longer in his cheeks.
“Would you change things, if you could?” She waved her hand and Dumbledore saw Hogwarts falling in the midst of war.
“How long have we been talking?” He gasped as he moved forward to stare upon his home in tatters.
Its once proud walls lit aflame against the midnight sky. The scene beyond anything Dumbledore had expected, and what he had expected hadn’t been good. The original plan had been remaining until Harry’s final year at the very least. His own impatience he had thought was lost in the follies of his youth had reared its ugly head once again. As if he had been pulled back to that very same ego fueled naive man in love all those years ago. That young man had made desperate decisions much the same and in the end it had cost him and so many others. So much collateral damage as his life echoed around him.
“About an earth year, give or take.” She changed the vision to show Harry dying at Voldemort's hands.
“I have to do something.” He panicked, mind filled with regret the moment he had seen Harry suffering.
It was easier to think of what was going to happen to Harry when it remained abstract. Dumbledore’s own death had been seen as a balm for feeling guilt for what he felt he needed to do, had felt he needed to do. He wasn’t so sure anymore the longer he stood in the ephemeral being’s presence.
“You can.” With a wave of her hand he found himself at Kings Cross, staring down at Harry as he reached forward towards a disfigured part of Voldemort’s soul. “But you don’t have long.”
There was little he could do but be there for the boy he had left in the clutches of monsters for so long. But he could at least try, offer words of comfort and maybe, just maybe, a little hope.
~Break~
“Welcome back.” Her voice caused the same sense of serenity that it had before.
“How did you do that?” he asked as he turned bewildered by the experience of talking to Harry upon his own deathbed.
“I didn’t, you did, are you ready?” Her porcelain skin glowed as she held out a hand.
“No, not yet, show me Severus.” Dumbledore turned to stare at the rift awaiting to see his most faithful of friends. If he could call him that.
“I...he has already fallen, there is nothing we can do.” Her smile fell for the first time since meeting her and she beckoned him forward.
“No, I will not give up, there has to be something I can do, anything.” He moved trying to pull away but she was too strong and he felt her draw pull him towards his own afterlife.
“Child, you cannot save everyone, you knew that, as did he. He will be met with an angel, same as you.” She explains, using that same false term that didn’t really encapsulate what she was.
“It is still unfair, he should be the one to live his life, for once, just once, without being someone else’s pawn. You told me it’s a measure of intentions, of how you affect the world and those around you, not just a sum of one's parts. If that’s true, he’s never had a chance since the day he was born and even in death he will be tormented for decisions made by others. I even made some of those decisions,” Tears had started to cascade down his withered cheeks. “At his core I always knew he was a good boy, but he never had a chance...now he never will.”
“Do you truly believe this?” She asked as she stopped pulling him towards his end.
“Yes, and it’s all my fault. Doomed him from the day I made him work for me. No chances to make amends, to be a better version of himself...” Dumbledore was rambling as he soured in his regrets, he felt pulled at the seams.
“His life was almost fully lived, what more did he have?” The woman says, tilting her head curiously at Dumbledore’s reaction.
“We always have time left to live our lives. He wasn’t even forty yet...for a wizard that’s young,” Dumbledore cryptically responded, lips twisting into a sardonic smile. “I used to tell people I was still young at one-hundred and fifteen.”
“I see.” She turned to the rift allowing it to focus onto the bloodied and dead body of Severus Snape. Her lips are no longer smiling and she looks deep in thought about something. It strikes Dumbledore then that he hasn’t seen her without a smile until this very moment. “There is one thing I can do but...it will cost you.”
"Cost me what?” He asks without hesitation.
“Time, life, energy, you will cease to exist in your afterlife if you offer yourself up to give him another chance.” She waves the question off but it strikes Dumbledore deep in his gut that she’s still not smiling.
“Anything.” He says, her lack of smile feeling like an omen.
“As you wish.” She says and for a moment Dumbledore thinks she sounds sad.
There was a bright glow, and then nothing, Dumbledore ceased to feel, to exist, to be. No more thoughts, no more wonder, no more regrets. In its place a small wail rang through the air where the old man once stood. In the shack the body of Severus was gone, only a blood stain remained.
“We cannot create nor destroy, only alter.” She smiled once again as she shh’d the baby. Creating a human visage for herself, she moved to earth and placed the child down with a note where his body once was.
“We all deserve a second chance. I enjoyed my conversation with your employer, as brief as it was.” The being whispers to the infant who has since gone quiet in her presence. “Let’s see what you do with this one.”
~Break~
It had been eleven years since the war, eleven years since McGonagall had found the baby where Severus’s body had been, eleven years since she had fought with every last bit of breath and magic she had. It was now the beginning of another school year. An eleventh year of peace, of calm.
McGonagall has taken in the child after reading the note that was undoubtedly signed by Dumbledore. It had perplexed her at first, wondering if perhaps she had gone mad or this had been a final prank from the Headmaster she had worked for so dutifully. She had St. Mungo’s hospital ran their tests to see if the child was truly Severus testing his DNA and magic signature. She had even had the ministry run tests on the note left with the babe but everything there came up inconclusive. The ministry had no idea what magic had been cast on Severus nor who left the note. When the tests returned from St. Mungo’s it was undeniable proof that the child she held had Severus’ DNA and magic signature she was floored. With time, it became apparent the child was indeed Severus Snape. There was little she could do to argue that fact. Not just by his mannerisms but also the memories that had slowly trickled back as he grew. In a world of magic, nothing was ever impossible it seemed.
The Ministry decided to keep it hush hush for his protection and privacy; so very few people were privy to the information and not obliviated. It wasn’t a decision taken lightly, but everyone had agreed mentioning a wizard returning from death so soon after an evil wizard had returned from death and killed thousands before dying a second time was ill advised. Too many people believed now that Voldemort could return again, that maybe something or someone worse could return too. So everyone took unbreakable vows and the case was sealed. An Unspeakable had even been assigned the case to ensure no one ever shared this information.
But none of that was Minerva’s concern right now. No, her concern was her clearly very annoyed and no-nonsense son, Severus. Who was currently trying to race off into a train car without saying goodbye, and that just wouldn’t do. You see, Minerva had never thought about being a mother. Her life and her decisions hadn’t led to that possibility. But now that she was given that opportunity she was keen on being the best mother she could. Even to her own son’s annoyance. She wasn’t going to miss a single moment or milestone.
“Calm down woman, I am fine.” He hissed as he blew off her fussy hands.
“Oh hush, it’s your first year of school, I never had children nor thought I would ever have to deal with this, so calm down and let me fuss over my eleven year old son.” Minerva scolds, slapping his hand away when he tries to stop her from straightening his robe.
“I am not technically your son, and this is NOT my first year.” He growled as he ducked away from her, his long black hair tickled at his shoulders as he grabbed his trunk with a huff.
“This is a new start, I know you are not mentally eleven, but try to make friends, try to have fun.” She flicked away a tear at her eye as she straightened his school robes.
“I don’t know why you insist on making such a scene.” He chastised as he tried to awkwardly struggle away.
Sometimes she forgot he was not an eleven year old boy, but really an old man merely given another chance at his life. It was easy to forget sometimes, since the first half of his life he was like any other child. For the most part, he was still Severus after all and he had always been a peculiar child to begin with. More so now that he had regained all his memories
“Oh hush now, you weren’t complaining about me treating you like a child when you were a baby.” She scoffs in her usual motherly way.
This had been a conversation they’ve had hundreds of times since his memories had started to return. Bleeding into his brain like deja vu until all the pieces slotted into place.
“I couldn’t talk.” He seethed, irritated by the whole ordeal.
Truthfully, while he was still Severus, still had the same memories and was still fundamentally the same person, he was still a child. He still got giddy over things eleven year olds did. He still cried when he hurt himself as a baby and sought out Minerva whenever he had a nightmare. His memories came back slowly as he and his cognitive function grew. Some days he was glad, others he was not. The memories and core traits of his personality were so slow to come in that when they did they clashed with ones already instilled into him.
“Make friends, try to be nice, please?” She asked as she ushered him to the train.
“I don’t make friends, I don’t even want or need to be here!” Severus tries to shrug her off but it just comes out whingy and petulant.
“Yes you do young man, you may still be the same grumpy old man, but you still need to go to school to get a decent job with this second life you were given.” Hands on her hips she shoots him a stern look.
But she was right, at least about the going to school part. There was hardly a thing he could do without an education and a trace on his person. So with a sigh Severus boarded the train to find a train car without anyone in it. He didn’t agree with Minerva about the making friends part.
~Break~
Severus had been sitting on his own since the train started ten minutes ago, well, that was until the door opened and a small freckled face poked in looking nervous. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to seethe quietly or tell her to get out. Minerva’s words were echoing in his head and he hated how easily she could influence him now. Stupid loving maternal figures. Truth was Severus didn’t hate Minerva as a mother figure, she always had been to most of the students of the school. Himself included, that’s why his betrayal at Hogwarts had wounded her so. Why her turning to attack him in the Great Hall had felt like a dagger to the gut during the war. He never wanted to see that look ever again, one that said she had completely and utterly given up on him.
“What do you want?” He ground out, his voice an attempt at a growl. But sadly, it once more came out high, irritated, and sounding like a spoiled child.
“I...I don’t know anyone, or anything really...I need a place to sit so...can I?” The girl's voice squeaks and Severus can already tell she isn’t a quiet person.
“Fine, just be quiet.” He looked up and for a moment his heart stopped, the freckled face and green eyes reminded him of Lily for a second. But soon, he realised she had far too many freckles. It annoyed him, even her face was loud. Her eyes were more of a golden green than true green. So much so they looked more like the colour of a murky decaying pond. Her mousy brown hair just topped off how boring she appeared in comparison to the only true friend he valued. Even in death.
“Sit down or stand, I don’t care, but close the door.” Severus sighs out through his nose, trying to keep a lid on his temper.
“Oh, right, sorry, new to this, we don’t normally do trains at home, except the skytrain that is, but it’s hardly the same thing, oh bother!” She sighed as she sat down curling around herself against the window.
Severus snorted. Of course she was ignorant as well, he hadn’t expected much else to be honest. He was already starting to regret trying as Minerva had asked him to do.
“My name's Max, well Maxine actually, but Max sounds better so I go by Max, umm what is yours? Oh right, you introduce yourselves with a last name here right? Ugh umm Max, Max Hunt. Err, Hunt, Max?” She stuck out her hand awkwardly.
He noted her American accent and snorted, “So they are now allowing riff raff from the States here now?”
She blinked, “Oh, no, well, I am from Canada actually, my family is from here though, so they figured because I have dual-citizenship I should be given a choice to come here, and I did, because I liked the Headmistress a lot, the one in Canada was very very...scary, and umm, I was reading my book to learn more about the magical world and it seemed like the best one...” She trailed off, flushing a bright red from her fair and obviously irish skin.
“Great, a Muggle-Born yank...” he groaned.
“Ok one, not a yank, Canadian remember? I think that means I’m a Canuck, and two, uhh...Muggle...Muggle...non-magical folk right?” She inquired, looking very curious.
“You are hopeless.” He mutters, not bothering to respond to her correction because he didn’t really care what the difference was between an American and a Canadian. He didn’t really even care about her.
“And you still go unnamed.” She chirps back.
For a moment Severus didn’t want to answer, but he remembered Minerva’s words, and so he tried. Offering a name wasn’t a declaration of friendship. He could be polite.
“Severus.” He says, not offering his hand as he leaves her hanging.
~Break~
Standing in the great hall was overwhelming for Max, she had ended up following Severus everywhere since the train, sticking tight to his side. Apparently she had seen his name as an offer of friendship too. He wanted to snap at her, he did, but this little voice in the back of his head was nagging at him that Minerava would be disappointed in him, that the poor girl would probably cry. The thought made him feel bad, deepening the scowl that had rooted itself on his face since she had sat down in his train car.
“Oh god...is that a hat?” She asked as her eyes grew wide as it spoke before shouting out a house name.
“Yes, it's the sorting hat, try to keep up.” He sneered, his long dark hair sticking uncomfortable against his thin face.
“What house do you wanna be in?” She asks with an air of non-chalance, like she was asking about the weather.
“Does it really matter?” Severus growled as he was called up. After everything he didn’t even care, almost every house held bad memories for him.
Severus walked over to the stool and sat down allowing the hat to sit on his head. It didn’t matter, it shouldn’t matter, but still his heart was beating fast within his chest. His eyes darted to Minerva who was watching on proudly. Something ugly settled in his belly and he looked away.
‘Hmm...you again, I know where to put you...wait, no, you seem different this time, changed....it is either Slytherin or...no...I know where to put you.’ The hat echoed through his head.
“Gryffindor!” The hat shouted as Severus’s face paled as he walked towards the Gryffindor table, hands at his sides, mouth dry.
“What?” He whispered to himself, completely missing Minerva’s clapping, nor the cheers from the table as he sat down, his life had to be over.
He barely registered the rest of the sorting until Max sat down beside him and offered a small wave, and in response, Severus felt a little better. Though, the scowl hadn’t left his face and probably wouldn’t until he fell asleep. He would never hear the end of this from Minerva. He couldn’t even look at her, the old woman’s pride in him feeling more like shame in that moment. He wasn’t off to a good start.
~Break~
“We are in the same house! How exciting is this, now I have a friend who can show me about the wizarding world.” Max beamed up at him, to which he just scoffed.
“You might want to be careful, I am not exactly the best person to befriend.” Severus says, trying to subtly nudge her away from him before she fixated on this supposed friendship between them.
“Nonsense, I like you, so come on! First day is tomorrow, and I can finally use magic here and practise it.” She waves him off much the way Minerva would when he was being self deprecating.
With a sigh Severus moved forward, already realising this was going to be a long year. He could feel a headache settling in behind his eyes. His fingers begin to massage into his temples when Max doesn’t stop talking. This nudging her away plan was failing spectacularly. He was really regretting letting her stay in his train car now.
~Break~
He awoke early and prepped for his double block of potions which they were having with Slytherin, as was customary. Some things never change. He took his time dressing, avoiding his reflection in the mirror. Gryffindor red branding him causing memories to war within his head once more. Seeing them laid out on the bed had already caused him to wonder if things would have been different all those years ago if he had red instead of green. Would he have made different decisions? Would Lily have given him her attention then? He hated dwelling on what ifs, they were more worthless than promises. So he finished dressing, avoided the mirror and walked out of his dorm and the common room mechanically. He avoided everyone he could, keeping his head ducked as if to combat his height. He was heading into the great hall for breakfast early, he enjoyed the quiet before the rest of the students filed in. It had been his habit as a student previously to avoid his bullies and then later to avoid having to socialize with the other teachers.
Within about thirty minutes the hall started to flood with students. He looked up and noted not much of the staff had changed, Neville had taken over Pomona’s job a year earlier, Slughorn was the Potions Professor still, probably staying as penance for his part in Voldemort's rise, there was a new Professor for Muggle studies and Defence Against the Dark Arts, Firenze seemed to be staying as a Professor as well, helping out Trelawney who was growing weary with age. As he took a bite of his eggs, his arm jarred as Max took a seat beside him breathing in deeply, her clothes in disarray. She was still following after him like some lost puppy.
“So good of you to make it to breakfast, perhaps next time you could wake up early enough to join us on time and properly dressed.” Severus chastised not looking up from his plate.
“Sorry Professor.” She mocked as she piled her plate with food.
Severus’s heart leapt into his throat before he calmed, realising she was mocking him. It was strange how the word evoked panic now. He never liked his job, but it had defined him for so long. It was strange to hear it again, as if his old life was still trailing after him like some ghost. Or maybe he was the ghost haunting the halls of Hogwarts alongside the rest.
It was clear by this point that Max wasn’t going to leave him alone and as his gaze raked over her he came to a decision. If she refused to leave him alone then he would hold her to the proper standards if she wanted his friendship since she was so desperate for it. He could mould her into a proper student, one he would have actually enjoyed teaching.
“If you are going to hang around me, try not to bring me down...” He finally says, giving in just a little bit.
“Whatever...” she mumbled as she took a sip of her pumpkin juice, her face twisting in confusion as she glared at the goblet.
~Break~
They were paired together for potions as her luck and his bad luck would have it. Max was not bad per say, but it was rather obvious she was from a Muggle family. It was clear she was not gifted in the art of potion making. He didn’t break his stride, going through the motions with practiced ease. Fingers dancing with a finesse no other eleven year old had. Severus didn’t bat an eyelash as he finished the potion easily without much trouble. Max was still grappling with what ‘dice’ actually meant with the first ingredient.
“Ahh Severus, Max good job! It seems you are as gifted as your namesake would make one to believe.” Slughorn complimented as he patted Severus on the shoulder.
“Namesake?” Max blinks, expression turning curious like a dog with a bone.
Severus can feel her gaze slink over to him prickling his skin. Just what he needed now, more questions from the perpetually curious girl. He had a feeling Slughorn might be a problem. While the man was an idiot with subpar potion skills he had the mind of an elephant able to recall and remember every single famous student he had. Good and bad. The fame leech was going to be a thorn in the side he had just not expected it to be quite so soon.
“Why yes of course! He is named after one of the greatest wizards I ever had the chance to teach, he was also one of the bravest during the war, sadly he died during the very same war, a tragedy that one, he is one of Hogwarts greatest headmasters and heroes.” With that he wandered off to see how the other students were faring.
The crisis averted Severus’s heart began to slow. It seemed even if Slughorn remembered him Severus had forgotten one very important fact. Severus Snape was a famous, or infamous, student of Slughorn. But Severus McGonagall was a nobody so why would Slughorn pay any attention to him or Max for that matter. Slughorn had barely looked at either of them, just the potion before name dropping and leaving.
“Wow, that is so cool...” Max turned back to their cauldron and tilted her head. “I would have so failed if it wasn’t for you...”
Yeah, she was definitely nothing like Lily. Nothing like him. She was everything he usually hated. He still kind of did, but his irritation didn’t feel as sharp as it once used to. Maybe he enjoyed the fact that for once someone’s first thought hearing his actual name wasn’t disgust or hatred.
~Break~
It was Charms class that really pulled everything together for Max. She didn’t particularly excel at any other class until Charms. There she learned she had an affinity for them, something Professor Flitwick kept complimenting her on. Severus could only roll his eyes, not really understanding how easily offered praise meant anything when everyone in the class seemed to get it. Even the kid who had accidentally set his own wand on fire had received praise. Max also followed him around in that class too, sitting next to him like she had every other class. Watching his wand movements carefully as she replicated the movements with ease. Tongue sticking out from the corner of her mouth in concentration. He hated that he even noticed that about her.
“Everyone turn to chapter 2 in your text please!” Flitwick announced as he stood at the front of the room. “We will be learning the Wand-Lighting charm today. To cast a successful charm you must not only speak the words, but concentrate on the spell and its effect. Please follow my wand movement exactly and practice amongst yourselves. Lumos”
Professor Flitwick showed them the spell and wand movements a few more times before he moved to his desk and sat down grading papers. The class was already growing louder as the students excitedly cast their spells. It wasn’t how Severus would have run the class and it made him prickle. Max, unaware of his irritation, excitedly held her wand. Her grip still a bit clumsily as she attempted the spell for the first time. With a frown she noted not a single light at the tip of her wand, not even a small sparkle. Attempting again, she made a larger flourish and her wand sparked ever so slightly.
“Oh!” She gasped as she grinned. She focused hard on her wand’s top lighting up and tried once more “Lumos!” She spoke a little louder, and this time her wand tip lit up. She let out a small screech like giggle and turned to Severus positively beaming.
“Look I did it on my own this time!” She declared as she watched Severus cast Lumos and dispel it with Nox over and over again in a bored manner.
“Congratulations on accomplishing a first year charm.” He drawled, his tone monotonous and bored.
“Oh Miss Hunt! Good job! First few times casting a spell with a new wand can be harder for muggle-borns, although not unheard of...” He trailed off momentarily as he stroked his beard thoughtfully. “Well, enough about that, good job Miss Hunt!”
Severus sighs as he continues to cast and dispel lumos noticing how Flitwick hadn’t even acknowledged his mastery of technically two spells. It shouldn’t have stung, he was a grown man even though he was technically in a child’s body. Comparing himself to a muggle-born girl was silly.
So why was he?
~Break~
It turned out Max was surprisingly gifted when it came to charms. She’d often stay after class asking Professor Flitwick question after question until the bell was ready to ring. It should have irritated Severus, but honestly he was just glad she wasn’t an entire idiot. At least she seemed to take her education seriously, unlike most of the other first years. He had slowly grown accustomed to her presence while she grew accustomed to his sharp remarks and suffering sighs. He wouldn’t call her a friend per say, but he no longer tried to chase her off.
Christmas break was coming up and Max was packing up her things before heading into the common rooms to read a book. Her mind was filled with a christmas carol she kept humming underneath her breath. Carol of the Bells to be exact. Exiting her dorm room she noticed Severus playing some Wizards chess on his own by the fire. Her humming slowly trailed off as she came closer, recognizing this wizarding game for once. Plopping down across from him she smiled as she set up the white pieces.
“What are you doing?” She asks, looming over the board curiously.
She was always curious.
“Playing chess, what does it look like?” Severus says, raising an eyebrow at her presence.
She grabs the opposite colour that Severus was setting up. Giggling as her childish fingers sloppily placed each pawn across the board. She was humming again, this time Jiggle Bell Rock. Severus hated the fact he recognized the muggle tunes. Memories of Christmas Carolers and spending time with Lily hit him, making him sour.
“I didn’t exactly invite you to join me.” Severus mutters, arms crossed but he doesn’t actually do anything to stop her. He never really does regardless of what mood he’s in.
“You didn’t have too,” She waved off, flourishing for him to go ahead, “You were here so you can go first.”
“Yes, well, I would go first regardless because I chose white.” Severus deadpans, resetting his own pieces despite the fact he hadn’t actually agreed yet. He went to move a pawn in front of his rook before glancing up at her, “Do you even know how to play?”
“Yes, of course I do. I had a cousin obsessed with the Muggle version of this game.” She grinned wickedly as she moved her knight first.
That was a decently bold move. She started her game out flexible and he raised an eyebrow at her proud smirk. Alright if that’s how she wanted to play, he wouldn’t dumb it down for her. For the first time since meeting her he didn’t get a headache from her presence.
~Break~
In the end Severus had won, but Max came pretty damn close. Beaming proudly beside him as they headed to their last dinner before break. He had remarked there were no awards for almost winning but she had just shrugged him off. Apparently the reward was her progressing her mastery of the game. It made little sense to Severus but he didn’t question it. That would only encourage her to keep talking.
“Are you heading home for the Holidays?” Max asked, her eyes twinkling with child-like mirth.
The question hit him like a whiplash because he hadn’t expected it. Maybe he should have, she was always curious and prying. But he hadn’t and he was left flatfooted. The only words coming to his mouth were the truth. “No, I am to stay here over the Holidays with Headmistress Mcgonagall.”
They sat down and he noticed Max frowning oddly before she noticed his staring and she smiled brightly starting to pile her plate with food. Shaking his head he wondered why her emotions always seemed so mercurial around him. He didn’t understand her, wasn’t sure he ever would.
~Break~
Their first year together came and went. It soon became apparent that Max was a very smart girl and was growing better and better with magic as each passing day came and went. She aced her final exams with flying colours and seemed to impress Severus at every turn. He hadn’t had high expectations to be fair, but still she had shot through them.
The only problem was she became so fascinated with Severus Snape, his old self even though technically they were one and the same, just a different last name. She would not stop researching and sharing what she learned. She saw ‘him’ with such adoration it made him uncomfortable. The truth that was printed out was hardly the whole truth. Entire facets of his personality were omitted or personified to make him seem more heroic. More palatable. His intentions twisted into something more pure. His flaws, his mistakes, every putrid thing he did had been erased for a more favourable view of events, of him. He had been turned into propaganda, a lovesick fool. It made his stomach turn each time he had to read about himself. Guilt, regret, self hatred, those were the things that had built him into who he was today. What the hell was he supposed to do with this false Severus being immortalized before him?
The answer was nothing, because he wasn’t supposed to be Severus Snape anymore, he was Severus McGonogall now. A new life with new memories, a new life where he was forced to face how horrible he was. Every mistake smacking right into him no matter where he turned. The halls like the grave of a man he no longer really recognized or even agreed with. But it was him, still, even through the dissonance. He had still done those things, made those decisions, and acted with such disgrace. To be declared a hero felt wrong, like he had cheated somehow. Maybe he had, knowing the kind of man he used to be. The kind of man he still sort of was. How does one take accountability for the actions of someone else when that someone was you? Secrets, it seemed, were always going to be suffocating him.
Then summer passed, and she had written to him. Constantly, wishing she didn’t live in Canada so far away. She told him about hanging out with all her Muggle friends, about her Birthday party, and about every little thing she learned about magic. She shared the mundane and the mundane she felt was oh so fascinating. Her excitement was well versed in her letters and it seemed to drag him from the dark pieces of his mind. No one had ever written to him with this much fervour before, or really this often. She was always asking questions too, about everything, anything, always wanting to learn.
She was a regular Hermione in that regard.
Before he knew it, she was sitting with him on the train again smiling at him as she sat beside him eating chocolate frogs. He no longer got headaches around her anymore. Didn’t even feel irritation when she settled into the seat next to him. With a small smile Severus allowed her to fall asleep against him for half of the train ride. He finally had a sort of friend, maybe going to Hogwarts for a second time wouldn’t be so bad. Not that he’d ever tell Minerva that. Some hills were still worth dying on.
~Break~
Halloween was upon them before they knew it, the school year flying by much faster when he wasn't annoyed half of the time. Max was all bouncy and over the place while Severus pointedly tried to ignore her, it never did work. He doesn’t know why he thinks it ever will. She could never take a hint, or perhaps she was just ignoring them. His frustration even sometimes delights her and always encourages her. He hated that it annoyed him a little less and less each time. The word endearing hovering just on the peripheral he’d stubbornly ignore.
“Come on! We have to dress up, they are having a Halloween ball and I would die if I had to go alone.” Max says, her voice elongating on die, exaggerating the word.
“Then ask someone.” Severus answered as he went over his homework one more time before finding it satisfactory. Today he didn’t have as much patience as he’d usually have.
“I am. You.” She retorted, tapping her foot impatiently against the floor.
“Ask someone else.” He didn’t even lift his eyes from his History of Magic essay.
“I don’t wanna go with anyone else, I wanna go with my best friend, come on, please?” she whined some more.
“No, I don’t do dances.” He shut her down, not even wanting to entertain whatever nonsense she was suggesting.
“Seriously! Come on, for me? You missed my birthday, you owe me.” Max pouted, using her birthday to manipulate him into compliance,
With a groan Severus gave in, if only to get her to stop asking. If only to avoid feeling any bit of guilt that seemed to rear his head whenever he acted more ‘Snape-like’ around her. He had long since stopped trying to rationalize himself around her. Deciding if it was really that important to her and not a huge deal to him, he would relent. It was just practical.
“Great, now to find something to wear, but first, let's go down to the kitchen for food, Teddy from our year showed me how to get in.” Max smiled wickedly, looking every bit of trouble she undoubtedly was.
“You want to break school rules?” Severus blanched. He thought he had been encouraging good behaviour in her and apparently she had been sneaking into the kitchens.
He had spent so long upholding the rules the idea felt so foreign to him, and he had so easily agreed before even knowing what her full plan was. It had been a foolish mistake and he would be more careful in the future. She was still a child after all and they were constantly getting into trouble.
“Yeah, why not, live a little.” She grinned, grabbing his hand, the warmth spreading between them both.
Oh how the mighty had fallen, here he was on a Saturday night, breaking curfew to sneak into the kitchens with a girl. He hadn’t seen this as his downfall, honestly everything after being bitten by Nagini still felt like a fever dream sometimes. He shouldn’t have this. But he does, strange as it is. Once more he doesn’t hate it when Max acts mischievous and troublemaking. It’s a strange feeling to be included in the up to no good instead of the one stopping it.
“I can’t believe I am breaking school policy...” His inner Professor was screaming at him to deduct points, maybe he truly was a Gryffindor. He watches as she tickles the pear and opens the hidden entrance to the kitchens with the ease of someone who has done it multiple times. Yet he still follows her despite his words.
“Oh hush, oo look! chocolate cake.” Max sat down with a smile taking a piece to eat. Severus sat as well but did not take a piece.
“Come on, have a piece.” She motioned with her mouth full.
“I don’t do chocolate cake.” Severus says, enunciating each world clearly from one another.
“Oh come on! What did I just say earlier? Now let's go, you only get one life to live after all.” She passed him a piece and he reluctantly took a bite.
‘Not everyone gets a second chance...’
He shouldn’t even have this one, but he does. So he opens his mouth, regretting it instantly when the overtly sweet chocolate hits his tongue. He had never been fond of sweets, even as a child. One thing about his second chance he was learning with irate clarity is that a child’s taste buds were incredibly sensitive. All the cake did was make his stomach feel sick. Yet, he still takes another bite to shut Max up.
~Break~
They were in potions again working on a sleeping draught. Severus was working on crushing everything into a creamy paste while Max was meticulously measuring. Lifting his gaze he took in her slightly more grown appearance and calmer demeanour. She was capable of competently brewing a potion now. He no longer needed to hover over her ensuring she didn’t cause the potion to explode or worse.
He was starting to actually enjoy the girl despite her obvious flaws. She listened to him intently and didn’t often argue his instructions in potions class period. She never really questioned him ever to be honest. It was rare he was ever given that kind of respect, and it made him feel a little bit proud of his own abilities that she trusted in him so highly. Most kids in his potions class did actually, and that sense of pride was already settling deep into him like a warmth. It was strange not earning the ire of most students for simply existing. He had spent so long being hated for being Snape.
“Ok it’s measured exactly, I put it into the cauldron now yes?” Max double checked as Severus nodded, his book not even open.
“Start heating it for 30 seconds and then I can start adding the crushed mixture.” Placing his knife down he cleaned off his hands and went to check on the potion. Everything was going perfectly so he counted down the last ten seconds before adding three measures of the crushed mixture. Waving his wand over top of the cauldron it started to simmer and stir.
“Now we wait.” He nodded as she beamed up at him in awe.
“You didn’t even need the textbook at all.” She laughed to herself as she shook her head.
She held the innocence of a child who never had to grow up during a war. It was peaceful. But her naivety still irked him sometimes. Bad habits died hard. She had never grown up having to look over her shoulder from birth. She didn’t understand core parts of himself that he could never quite shake. It was in moments like these he could really see the chasm between them and their lived experiences. Between them.
~Break~
Christmas break was coming up again and this time Max was seated with Severus once again playing chess. She had improved decently since last school year and had managed to beat him once this year. She was reveling in it but he couldn’t help but notice she wasn’t bounding off to pack for her favourite holiday.
“Not that the company is unwanted, but shouldn’t you be packing to go home tomorrow?” He asked, trying to swallow the feeling of loneliness that was starting to linger.
“Nah my mom and I decided I should spend the Holidays here. She wanted to go on a trip and I have a best friend here and school work to complete so we decided it’s time for some new traditions.” She smiled as if it wasn’t a particularly big deal.
Not even Lily had done that for him. It was a strange feeling compounding on top of the one where his peers actually seemed to respect him. He wasn’t sure what to do with Max’s constant kindness if he was being honest with himself. But he found it was best to not overthink things when it came to her.
“Good, I wanted to practice dueling before they introduce it in D.A.D.A. next semester.” He nodded.
He was such a bloody teacher, always planning out their free time. Max wouldn’t have had it any other way. Trying to smile secretly to herself, but Severus sees it right away.
~Break~
Days went on, seasons changed, and like an eternal rule of the universe, Max followed Severus everywhere. There wasn’t often he could find a moment of peace alone outside of his dorm room and the bathroom. It perplexed him endlessly that it didn’t bother him like it should have. With each passing day Severus Snape seemed further and further away from who he was now.
“There you are!” Max grinned as she skipped towards the willow tree by the lake. She plopped herself unceremoniously beside him and leaned over to read the book over his shoulder.
“Do you mind?” He splutters, pulling away as soon as her hair tickles his cheek.
“Nope!” She grinned cheekily, causing him to roll his eyes.
“I would appreciate some personal space.” He grunted as she pulled back, a light blush staining her cheeks.
“Ok ok, I got the memo.” Still smiling she pulled out a book of her own settling in to read beside him. It wasn’t a terribly cold spring day and he had wanted to take advantage of the peace and quiet outside.
He shifted his gaze and noted she wasn’t reading any school books but rather a Muggle novel. He wasn’t sure what it was about, but it had a plain multicoloured cover with what looked to be the shape of a wolf with the words Everworld written across the green and black cover.
“What are you reading?” He inquired about placing his own book in his lap.
“Everworld, it’s a book series my friend got me into. She lent me the whole series for when I had to go to school as a kind of ‘Stay strong without us’ gift. Everyone back home thinks I am at a boarding school and feels bad I can’t go to regular high school with them next year.” She shrugged, turning the page in her book, a small smile on her face.
“I’ve never met someone who enjoys reading as much as you do.” Severus admitted as he peered over her shoulder to see what the book was about.
“Well, my dad always loved reading...it was something we used to do together...” She trailed off as she played with the corner of her book. Severus reached a hand out and stalled her fingers movements.
“Be kind to your book Max, especially if it isn’t yours.” He chastised, his tone sounding light for the first time.
She laughed and shook her head returning his soft smile as she pulled herself out of her somber thoughts. Yet, she unfolds the page she just dog eared.
“Here, I can lend you the first one if you’d like to read with me?” She says, digging into her bag to pull it out.
And he found he did want to read with her. So he took the book she offered from her hands and settled in beside her, getting lost just long enough in the book to miss the start of their next class.
~Break~
After showing up ten minutes late for their class they ended up in detention receiving a disappointing talk from Minerva who kept looking at Severus with such an amused smile Max couldn’t help but laugh at the cute relationship Minerva had with Severus. He didn’t seem all too concerned with what she was saying nor the fact he had detention. He merely rolled his eyes and calmly explained it was only ten minutes and there were worse things they could have gotten caught up in.
Max couldn’t help but blush at the implications as she darted out of the office the first chance she got face ablaze. She was always embarrassed by how brazen he was. Clearly the difference between Americans and Canadians was the amount of audacity because she was always surprised by his. Embarrassing her amused him endlessly it turns out.
“You certainly like to push her buttons.” Max remarked as she walked with Severus side by side back to their common room.
“After knowing Minerva as long as I have, it's harder to not push them.” He shrugged leaving the conversation there.
He made it seem like he had known her forever, however she was his mother despite his insistence she was merely a guardian. So he supposes knowing someone your whole life counted as a long time/forever. Who really worries about semantics anymore, certainly not Severus. With a shrug Max pushed her curiosity to the back of her mind and skipped towards the portrait leading to their common room.
~Break~
It was becoming a warm April day and Max was going for a walk towards the quidditch pitch to watch Gryffindor’s practice. She had always thought brooms were just the coolest but she had a horrible fear of heights. Practice had been going pretty slow for her. She had the magic part down pat, could command the broom like a pro. But once she got more than four feet off the ground she would freak the fuck out.
She was debating asking Severus for help but he hadn’t expressed any interest in lessons and never signed up for any at all. She assumed he disliked flying as much as she did, but who knows. He never took any of the offered supplementary classes. Of course, usually only the muggle-borns like her took those. They were for catchup as Severus had once said.
With a sigh she timidly walked towards the pitch and watched the big smiled teens soaring through the sky. Watching them was invigorating. What it must feel like, to be up there flying so free. Does the world feel smaller for them up there, she wonders as she watches.
“Hello, can I help you?” The Gryffindor coach asked startling Max from her thoughts.
She was a fifth year girl named Sarah something-or-other. She wasn’t super close with her upperclassmen so she just smiled and nodded. She was nervous again but honestly when was she not.
“I was wondering if I could watch your practice? I have always wanted to fly but I have a horrible fear of heights.” She wrung her fingers nervously as she shifted from one foot to the other.
“Sure, just don’t interrupt our practice.” Sarah smiled as she turned back to the pitch and yelled out a new play for them to practice.
With renewed energy Max skipped towards the stands and spent the afternoon watching them practice. There was something freeing about watching them soar above her with ease. She really did think it was a neat sport as well. But mostly it was the whimsy of the entire affair that drew her to watch.
~Break~
Her free block soon ended and she was heading back towards the castle to grab some lunch. As she walked through the halls she bumped into some of the other Slytherin students who stared down at her with a sneer. She blinks, not really sure why her fellow student looks so out of sorts. But then one of them steps closer into her space, looming over her like a threat. Something prickles at that back of her neck, some sort of warning bell she doesn’t quite understand yet.
“If it isn’t another mudblood.” A guy with dark hair mocked as he stared down at her, his wand slipping from his robes.
“Think we should show her why she doesn’t belong here?” The male beside him sneered as he advanced forward.
“Discrimination is against the school rules, now please just let me go to lunch.” She whispered quietly as she attempted to step around them.
As she did the boy stepped in front of her allowing the other to advance on her from behind. Turning to regard the other student with fear she shifted her eyes downward and tried not to cry. She didn’t know what they wanted to do but she wasn’t naive enough to not have a single idea. Her mind sticks in freeze and she doesn’t even think to grab her own wand.
“Aww is the little mudblood going to cry?” The first boy laughed as he pressed his wand to her throat causing her to raise her fear-filled eyes to meet his sinister ones.
“Please just leave me alone...” She sniffled as she attempted to avert her gaze foolishly.
She knew there were still a lot of racial and blood status tensions, she knew that she had been lucky for the most part having been in Gryffindor and befriending Severus who usually kept most undesirable company away. He had a certain way about him that seemed to make most uncomfortable or afraid to piss him off. Or maybe it was because he was the headmaster's kid. Whatever the reason, she never faced this reality of the wizarding world. Till now, that is.
“I don’t think so, it’s people like you that ruined my family.” The boy before her spat, his voice full of venom.
She felt her veins turn frigid as she stepped back only to bump into the sneering boy behind her who had only advanced closer while she was distracted. He grasped her arms and held her still as the boy tapped his wand against his chin. Max hoped for a moment he was a complete idiot and would accidentally hex himself, but luck, as it would have it, was anywhere but on her side.
“Now what curse to use on you...perhaps a tongue-tying curse first so no one comes running.” He laughed as he pointed his wand and whispered the incantation.
She felt her mouth seize and her tongue twist in her mouth as she helplessly tried to scream. She was in serious trouble now. Tears prickled at her eyes as she was silent to her own torment.
“What are you two doing?” A dangerous sounding voice echoed through the halls as the boy in front of her whipped around.
Peering over the kid's shoulder she noticed Severus standing there with a deathly look on his face. His wand was drawn and he was staring the boy down hard. For a moment she almost thought a fight was going to break out until the kid dropped his wand and turned to his friend.
“Che, it’s not worth it, he’s the headmaster’s kid. Let’s just go.” And just like that she had been rescued.
Severus let out a sigh and turned to give Max a talk about being more careful, only to find the girl had launched herself towards him and latched onto him, arms around his waist and her head level with his chest and she cried out her thank you. He felt the tears start to soak through his thin dress shirt and he sighed. Placing a hand against her back he patted her awkwardly until her sobs subsided.
“Are you ok?” He asked tersely.
“I am now that you are here, thank you.” She blushed as she hugged him tighter.
She was going to be the death of him he swore. He should know, he had already died once already. Yet seeing her being treated like that made something inside him crack. He could see the two roads laid out before him so clearly the moment he saw that wand pressed against her chin. A path he had once taken where he held that wand and one where he made a different decision. One that helped instead of harmed. For the first time in forever he feels a flicker of pride at his decision. He knew then, he liked this Severus a lot better than the old one.
~End Chapter 1~