Chapter Text
No, it can't be.
Talk to me. Who poisoned you?
"Reddington, are you there? Reddington?"
But Liz knows he has disconnected even as she repeats his name with the panic rising in her voice, tightening her throat and making her breath come in uneven gasps. Much like his when she last saw him and the thought has her bringing a hand to her head.
Think. Slow down and think. Only two had access to the bottle.
Only two.
And where there is one, there is always the other. Except today. She feels a chill run up her spine with the realization that something is terribly wrong, even more terrible than the poisoning. It can't be. Just like he said, it simply cannot be.
No, now is not the time. What is the next step? Focus on that and nothing more.
She hits redial and listens, waiting, willing him to pick up the damn phone. When it switches to voicemail, she mutters a curse and immediately dials again and counts the rings as they come.
One. Two.
Reddington, please-
Three. Four.
Pick up.
Five. Six.
Please.
"Hello?"
"Red- wait who is this?"
The relief is gone in an instant realizing it is not his voice. The voice she would know anywhere and why isn't it on the other end?
"Elizabeth, is that you? It's Marvin. Marvin Gerard. Look I don't know what is-"
"Marvin listen to me, tell me where you are," she exclaims, her voice rising every second as the panic to reach him returns in full force. "He's sick and I need to get there."
A blur of words and instructions. The apartment in Bethesda and no she already has the address, just wait there. She is coming for him. Confusion as he stumbled from the room and now the bedroom door is locked. Just wait there, I'm on the way.
The trembling that won't stop and Aram knows and holds her arms steady until she ends the call. She hears herself speaking but can't make out her own words. They must make sense though as the doctor springs into action and the equipment they will need is gathered and readied for transport.
He won't like it. All these people descending on the apartment that contains his treasures. The permanent one that will no longer be a secret. There is barely a hesitation, though. This is the next step and what choice does she have?
She must get to him and keep him alive.
One last glimpse of Cooper and Aram watching her drive away from the boxing gym and Liz turns her eyes forward. Not stopping to wait for the doctor and nurse that will follow, she simply gave Aram the address and rushed from the building, trusting him with Reddington's location.
There is no recollection of speeding through the city streets. Nothing registers but this unexplainable sense of urgency far beyond the medical crisis that settles deep within her. Achingly familiar as the crack of the rifle echoes in her ears as loud as that day when she watched him fall to the ground before her. The blood everywhere and the sound of his labored breathing. So similar to today except this time the destruction was contained within.
Twice now she has watched him fight for his life through the distortion of the plastic. Wondering if he would be there the next day and the day after that. The anger and betrayal bitter in her mouth but the alternative much worse than she could ever imagine.
No matter their history she had never wanted it to come to this. Had never wanted to hurt him the day it was his turn to stand watch over her and she closes her eyes to the nausea that comes with the guilt. She's never been able to tell him how sorry….
The honking of a horn from behind brings her back to the present and she crosses the intersection intent on regaining her focus. Doesn't let any other thoughts intrude until she is pulling to the curb in front of the understated Bethesda address.
She is not sure what she expected to find but certainly not this eerie silence. None of Reddington's men to be seen and there is a sinking feeling as she rushes into the building, finding it just as deserted as the street below.
Instinctively she puts her hand to the holster at her side but holds off drawing the weapon and slows after ascending the stairs as she approaches his door not wanting to alert anyone within of her arrival. Why is there no one standing guard outside? What is worse is finding that the knob turns with ease beneath her hand and the sound of raised voices as she enters.
However, once inside, she finds it isn't voices but only Marvin standing at what she presumes is Reddington's bedroom, calling for him to unlock the door.
"Marvin-"
But he doesn't give her a chance to continue and seems to start the conversation mid sentence.
"...brought me here and accused me of what, I don't know, until…"
Shaking the locked door again, he calls out to be let in and is met with silence.
"...gave Baz the scotch and now I can't find anyone…"
Knocking on the door but again there is no response.
"...untied me and locked himself in…"
Before he can continue the ritual, Lizzy intercedes with her own voice calling out, her fist pounding on the solid wood. Pressing her ear to the door she hears nothing and god, if she's too late.
"Marvin, on three throw your weight against the door."
"I tried that, don't you think I've tried-"
"Shut up and do it again!"
He shuts up and on three the two break through the obviously reinforced door with a resounding crash.
Her eyes fall immediately to his form stretched across the bed at an angle and for a moment she thinks….but no, she sees the movement of his chest. Not as distressed as before but enough that she is already calculating how far behind the doctor should be by now.
She trips on his winter coat discarded on the floor as she rushes to the bed and reaches out to shake his shoulder. Reddington. No response. Reddington! Louder now and with greater force but still no response.
She and Marvin work together, simply running on instinct at this point. Adrenaline fueling them as they roll him on his back, pulling him into a sitting position.
"Reddington, wake up!"
Nothing, just the sound of his labored breathing. His cheek is clammy under her hand as she raises his head trying to gain a response.
"Raymond, open your eyes!"
Marvin this time and the panic in his voice matches her own.
"How does he breathe in all these damn layers? Marvin, help me."
Jacket, vest, shirt. One by one discarded in a pile at their feet, leaving only his undershirt. Propping several pillows behind him, they ease him back and he seems to immediately breathe easier.
"Help me with these," she says reaching for his belt, but glancing at the other man she notices the obvious hesitation. "You're joking?"
"Elizabeth, I don't think it's necessary…"
Recalling how he left the Post Office earlier this morning and just a short while ago disappearing from the triage unit after barely being stabilized and she gives the belt a yank, harder than probably needed to proceed.
"Oh yes, it is necessary. He is going to stay here and receive medical care if I have to remove every stitch of clothing from this place. Look, why don't you go down and wait for the doctor. They were leaving right behind me."
Marvin doesn't argue and makes a hasty retreat from the bedroom.
There is a surge of anger at his stubbornness and refusal of treatment that she attempts to dampen given his illness. One thing is certain, however, he is not leaving this apartment until the doctor gives the all clear.
She proceeds with the task in an orderly, clinical manner and is more than a little grateful he is passed out. Shoes first, then pants and tries to ignore the intimacy of the moment before grabbing a blanket from the foot of the bed to tuck around his body.
Finally, the flurry of activity is over. There is nothing else to do but wait for the code 77 team that should arrive shortly. She stops to catch her breath and watches him from the foot of the bed, still fighting for his own but not appearing to worsen. They've reached him in time. Somehow they always seem to reach each other in time.
If he would only wake up and say something to her. Somehow communicate that he hears her but he does not stir and she wonders just then if it isn't the physical but the mental anguish that has brought on this collapse. The absence of the one that is always at his side too much to bear. The final straw and he fell under the weight of it.
She feels a tear escape but lets it fall unchecked and continues her observation without moving. It is surprising that he has never before seemed this vulnerable to her. Not after the shooting or kneeling in front of Yaabari or the thousand other times they were in danger. Nothing compares to this silent retreat within himself.
"Redding….."
God, she hates this formality between them. The pain from all the things they can't take back, all the mistakes they've made driving them further apart. All her own mistakes that crowd her mind these days and she has no words to make them right. Doesn't even know where to begin.
She only knows what she so desperately needs.
"Raymond, don't go. Please don't go."
A whisper only for him with the strongest hope he will somehow hear her.
Closing her eyes she listens to the silence, willing the medical team to arrive, but there is only the sound of their breaths almost in sync now.
"Elizabeth."
With a gasp she looks to him but he doesn't appear to have moved. The paleness of his skin and short breaths the same but his furrowed brow the first sign of a change. Did she imagine it?
Taking a tentative step to the side of the bed, she pauses a moment unsure of herself. Strange that she can all but undress him one minute but finds the act of comforting him the next so difficult when it is only the two of them in the stillness. All she has known for longer than she cares to remember is anger and hurt and the gnawing guilt. Except now, watching him, she feels none of it. It seems to drain away leaving only a profound exhaustion for having carried it so long.
She forces her body to move and sits beside him. Doesn't really know how to take this next step but she hesitantly places her palm on his cheek and offers the pressure of her hand on his arm wanting to convey her presence. Wanting to comfort him as he has done for her all those times before. A small step.
"Raymond, I'm here."
Her hand cautiously moving from his arm to the rise and fall of his chest, thankful for it, labored though it is.
"Can you hear me?"
Her voice a little stronger now and without thinking she draws his hand out from under the blanket to hold between her own as he seems to stir.
"Elizabeth."
A raspy whisper barely audible but it is just for her. Only for her to hear and it feels like a gift.
"Yes, that's it. Talk to me."
She moves closer, all hesitancy gone. His hand gripped tightly in hers, anchoring them together until the others arrive. No thought now of awkwardness as her other hand reaches across his chest to hold him close and she will remain this way until Marvin enters a short time later ahead of the medical personnel.
She has no idea then the long night stretched before her or the number of times her name will be uttered on his lips. She only knows in that moment she won't let go.