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“Fuck!” she hisses, holding her injured arm. The knife is still there and oh god, does it hurt. Her bones must have been damaged too. “Fucking Demons.”
She drives back to motel in pain. Using only one arm, not moving the injured one. The knife is still there and she doesn’t have the balls to remove it. Her hands are covered in blood but only some of it is hers, which is a good thing really.
She parks the Baby – what Dean calls her ‘67 Impala – and opens the door slowly. She cries out but doesn’t stop. When she gets in the motel room without being seen, she allows herself to collapse. But that makes her hiss again. At least the floor is comfortable.
She closes her eyes. She knows that she must do something. Go to a fucking hospital or remove the fucking knife. Anything. But she is far too tired and in pain to do anything, so she closes her eyes and lets the tears fall. She doesn’t sob, hell no.
That’s when she hears the flutter of wings. “Hey Cas, listen I know you are sorry abo-” Dean freezes when he sees her on the ground. For a second he just stares at her. Only for a second, and then…
“Cas!” he barks and drops next to her. He doesn’t touch her, he just looks… worried. He looks furious and hurt too. “What the hell happened to you? Who did this?”
“Fucking Demons.” She manages. “Always fucking demons.”
“Why didn’t you say anything? I would have come with you.” Dean says and reaches for the knife. She jerks away quickly and cries out from pain. Dean steps back a little. Still looking at her like she’s a scared animal.
“After our little fight yesterday? Oh come on, you’d tell me to fuck myself if I-” she stops when she notices the look Dean gives her.
Dean doesn’t say anything he just looks… hurt and worried like he is about to cry. If that’s even possible. He stares at her for a long moment. A really fucking long moment.
“Well, Dean, not for nothing but the last person who looked at me like that… I got laid.” She says, hoping to make the angel smile. Because no matter what Dean thinks, she would do anything to see that smile. That spark in his beautiful green eyes, to hear the sounds he makes while he’s laughing…
“We should get that knife out Cas, I can’t heal you when it’s still there.” He says, still not smiling.
Cas sighs. “Okay give me a minute.” She says and closes her eyes, she knows that it will hurt. She knows that she will make noises that doesn’t belong to a- “HOLY SHIT!!!”
She cries out and bites her lips to keep her mouth shut. Because if she doesn’t, Dean will be learning new words from every language she ever knows.
She tries to punch the angel but he holds her arm and the pain is gone, like it was never even there. She sighs again and opens her eyes. Dean’s face is only centimeters away from hers and now she can see the whole universe in those eyes. And she stares, trying to find her voice, trying to find her fucking mind and whooooppp – the moment is gone.
Dean gets up to his feet and sits on her bed, looking very much human. “No ‘thank you Dean, you saved my life once again’?” he asks. He is smiling but his eyes are still full of hurt and no, that’s not okay.
“You lost your ‘thank you’ the moment you touched that knife, Dean.” She gets up too. Sitting down next to him. It would be weird, to stand this close to someone. But she doesn’t give a shit. Dean obviously doesn’t know anything about ‘personal space’.
“Well, you weren’t expecting it. It was better that way, trust me.” He says still smiling.
“You are lucky I’m not kicking your ass out you son of a bitch.” She laughs.
Dean frowns. “Look, I’m sorry okay? I said I was sorry. I apologized. Why can’t you do the same?” he asks.
She gets up on her feet again, staring down at him. “Why would I apologize?”
“You said some things that I didn’t deserve hearing, Cas.” Dean says calmly.
“Like what?” she asks because she’s honestly confused. She remembers their fight from the night before but she doesn’t know what could make Dean so-
“You said that I didn’t care about you.” Dean says. He’s got that ‘you don’t have any idea what I’m talking about so shut up’ look.
Oh. That.
She doesn’t answer. She remembers saying it, she remembers the exact feeling while saying it. Because honestly, why would Dean care about her?
“Do you really believe that Cas?” Dean asks, when she doesn’t answer he sighs. “How could you think that, huh? After everything that we’ve been through?”
“Because it makes no sense.” She whispers, she barely hears it but she knows that Dean’s heard.
“I think it makes a lot of sense.” Dean says, finally getting up from the bed. He stands in front of her. Now he is the one looking down. “You underestimate yourself, Cas.”
Cas takes a step back. Are they really gonna have this conversation now?
“Cas?” Dean whispers. Reaching for her hand but she steps back again.
“Who am I Dean? To you?” she asks. There is no anger in her voice. Just worry and curiosity.
Dean takes a deep breath before answering. “You are Castiel Novak. The daughter of Chuck and Anna Novak. You have a younger brother.
Samandriel, Sam. Your dad got killed when you were four years old and Anna raised you and Sam to become hunters. You’ve been hunting your entire life. You sold your own soul to bring your brother back. He came back, you went to hell. You broke the first seal but I brought you back, put you back together. I fixed you. I stood by your side as you fought, I always watched out for you, protected you. I rebelled against heaven for you. I gave up everything for you.” Dean says he looks angry and amused at same time. But his face softens as he adds; “I fell for you.”
Cas finds that she can’t speak. So she doesn’t. She just stares at the floor.
“Cas? Say something, anything.” Dean begs. “I just said that I-” he stops and turns away.
“Don’t fly away from me.” Cas finally speaks. “Please.”
Dean turns back to her instantly. He holds her hand and she lets him. They stare at their hands for a while. Just breathing and occasionally sighing.
“I love you.” She says like it’s nothing. Like she is just talking about weather. Because if Dean’s going to stay, he has to know. He has to know why she’s always so hard on him. Why she is always herself around him. Why she feels so safe around him.
When she finally looks up at him, he is smiling. “I know.”
She smiles too. But it’s not a happy smile, because she is not happy. She is terrified. She is terrified that Dean is going to leave her. She is terrified of being alone. Because without Dean, she would never survive.
Dean’s smile falters for a while. But then he grins and kisses her hand before letting go. Her heart stops right then and there. How would those lips feel like against her own…
“I never felt like this, you know. For thousand of years I have felt a lot of things. Grief, hate, pride, greed… but never this. I didn’t know what to make of it. It ate me alive. I’m thousands of years old and I have never fallen in love.” Dean says, looking right at her.
“You… what?” she asks, confused and full of hope. Shit.
“I fell in love with you, Cas. You showed me what love feels like. To love somebody so much, to be ready to die for them in an instant… I love you.” He laughs nervously. “You made me feel love and jealousy and lust an-”
He finally stops talking when she presses her mouth to his.
She doesn’t know what to expect. She doesn’t know if Dean ever kissed anybody. She just knows that it feels nice even if it is awkward.
The kiss gets real when Dean realizes what’s going on. He wraps one arm around her waist and wraps the other one around her neck. He runs his fingers through her black hair and that’s the sexiest thing she has ever experienced.
Her hands find his ass and she pulls him even closer. Dean moans, and god if it isn’t the most amazing sound she’s ever heard.
“I was in the middle of a sentence.” He says once they break the kiss. Yep, that’s definitely Dean. Her Dean. Her angel. Her guardian angel.
“You can finish your sentence once I’m done with you.” She gasps and pushes him down to bed. It only takes a minute for him to realize what’s going on. He pulls her down with a growl.
She straddles him, moving her hips around his already hard dick. They both gasp and find each others mouths again.
She reaches down between them - not breaking the kiss – and unbuttons is jeans. When she finally grabs his dick, Dean moans and he closes his eyes, biting his lips. Oh shit, she is going to lose it.
She undresses him and he undresses her. It only takes a minute even though their hands are shaking. Once they are both finally naked they spend a whole minute staring at each other.
Cas pulls him into a kiss again. She can tell that he is nervous, she can even feel it. “Relax, Dean. I promise I will make you feel good. Just trust me okay? Relax.” She gently strokes his hair.
“I just don’t want to hurt you, baby.” Dean whispers against her ear. His new nickname for her makes her smile.
“You won’t hurt me. I want you Dean. I’ve wanted you for a long time.” She says, she leans down and kisses his neck. When he moans, she starts sucking, hoping to leave a mark on him. She wants to claim him.
She takes his dick in her hands and starts stroking. Slow and gentle. Dean groans loudly. “Fuck, Cas.”
“Do we need a condom?” she asks.
“No, I can clean you once we are- augh!” he grabs her ass firmly and kisses her again. He needs to take her now, or he won’t last long.
She changes their position. Now she is lying under him. She spreads her legs and winks at him. Dean smirks and leans down to kiss her again. And then, without a warning, he is inside her.
She moans so loudly she is sure there are going to be complains from the other rooms. But how can she keep quiet when Dean is above her, filling her in, kissing her, holding her, touching her…
“Cas, oh Cas. So beautiful. My beautiful human.” Dean praises her and finally moving slowly but enough to make her see white.
After a minute she starts to meets his thrusts, but it’s not enough… “Dean, harder, please faster…”
With that, Dean’s thrusts become harder and harder, faster… She doesn’t even care if she’s too loud anymore because the noises Dean makes are enough to push her over the edge. Her orgasm hits her like a lightning, trembling her whole body. She comes with a loud moan.
Dean comes right after her, she can feel his come inside her and it’s amazing. She sees a heaven that’s far better than the real one. Her own heaven, with Dean.
When they finally come down from their highs, Dean slips out of her, making her feel empty. But the feeling fades away when Dean pulls her against his chest so she can rest her head there. She smiles, feeling sleepy and very much alive.
“If you think this was a one time thing, you are going to be very disappointed.” She murmurs, smiling like an idiot.
“’Feeling disappointed’ is the last thing I can feel right now actually.” Dean says, she can’t see his face but she is sure that he is grinning.
“Hmmm.” She yawns loudly but Dean wouldn’t mind. Just like she thought he would; he chuckles.
“Sleepy, huh?”
“It was a long hunt.” She answers, closing her eyes.
She feels Dean’s arms around her waist tighten. “I need you to be more careful Cas. Don’t go hunting without Sam or me. And don’t try to take on five demons at once.” He says, his voice quiet but firm.
“Okay, Dean.” She murmurs and yawns again, louder this time.
Dean laughs before kissing her hair. “Sleep, Cas.”
“Okay, Dean.”
She can feel him trying not to laugh. “Stop saying that.”
“Okay, Dean.” She says again, chuckling. “What about you? You don’t sleep.”
Dean kisses her hair again. “I’ll watch over you.”