Chapter Text
The rest of the summer had flown by. Jake took his children to Austin for the last weekend of the summer to see his sister. As nice it was to see her and her kids, Jake had found himself missing Cassandra. She couldn't make the trip because of work and he'd found it even more difficult than Father's Day weekend had been. That had been early on in their relationship and even though they'd only been together now a little over two months, she'd taken to sleeping over on the weekends. And so Saturday night without her draped over him as they slept was very lonely indeed. He wasn't sure how he was going to react going without her as their relationship continued. They still had to talk to the kids about her moving in, but she hadn't as yet re-signed her lease. So they figured when the initial craziness of school had eased up, they'd talk to the twins. And of course, bring her cat over for a visit to see how he'd react to the house. Sparky had met the kids and liked them and was now used to Jake's presence, so things would probably be okay.
Today though, Jake's thoughts were on another woman as he pulled into a parking lot and grabbed a bouquet of bright flowers off the passenger seat. A short walk later and he was kneeling beside a grave under a live oak tree with a view of the cemetery's pond. He always thought that May would have liked the spot he chose, even if he'd had to fight with her parents to bury her there and not back home in Oklahoma. It was bad enough that her mother seemed to be attempting to take the kids back with her, as if he couldn't raise them. Thank goodness his own mother had swooped in to the battle while he'd been too heavy in his own grief to do it. May hadn't wanted her kids to be brought up like she'd been. And Cassandra was the product of the same sort of mother, so he knew he had yet another ally, though Mrs. Collins had been fairly quiet as of late.
He set the bouquet against the stone, brushing invisible dust away with his hand. The grounds here were always so well kept.
"Hey baby, I know I haven't been here as often as I should be. It's been a crazy summer. I know you know all about it, but I don't know, maybe I should fill you in again?"
He shook his head, sighing at himself. "Anyway, Matt and Maggie start first grade tomorrow. First grade! Only yesterday they were born. They're getting so big. I'm not sure where Matt gets it, but he'll probably be taller than me by high school. Maggie's a little small, she always was, I know you worried about that. But the doctor has always told me that it's fine, she is on the average chart, just the shorter side. Matt's taking all of this change in stride just like always, he's just like my daddy. Maggie's been difficult lately, but I think we'll work it out. She's not fond of change, probably a little nervous. But I think it'll be better when school actually starts. She'll be fine, she's just like her mama. They miss you. We all miss you."
"I miss you. I know, I know, you're thinking but Jacob, you finally found someone. Doesn't mean I don't miss the hell out of you. I always will. Always will miss you, always will love you. I love Cassandra very much, May, but . . .I still love you. You know that. But I'm finally happy and I know that makes you happy. She's good for me. She's good for the kids. And she gets all of us and what we need. Seriously sometimes I think you were so worried about us that you sent her to us. I wouldn't put it past ya, May, if anyone could you would. " He chuckled. "I do like that, always findin' a way to take care of us. And we really are okay."
"This summer has been crazy and busy and absolutely wonderful. And not just because of Cassandra, though she's a big part of it. I'm making a change May. Putting the kids first and making an effort. I said I was just trying to put a roof over their heads, but let's face it. You know I buried myself in work so I didn't have to face my own pain. But the pain's gone now May and I bet you're breathing a sigh of relief over that. When I think of you, it's just happiness and love now. And as much as you're always gonna have that spot in my heart, I'm over the heartbreak. And I was before I met Cassandra. Which is probably why I could love her. So now you can finally rest, baby, because I'm going to be okay."
He sat back and smiled and then told May a little bit more about what the kids were up to. Then it finally got too hot even in the shade to sit there any longer.
"It's time for me to go. I love you, May."
He kissed his fingertips and touched her name on the marble. "Rest easy darlin'."
Cassandra had spent the night so she could help Jake with the kids in the morning. Eve had planned on being there as well but had come down with a nasty cold so she was sick in bed. That didn't mean she hadn't fussed over the phone to Jake the evening before with a whole list of "make sure you" and asking for photos. Jake was overwhelmed enough as it was, he really didn't need his sister making things worse.
Jake had approached the coming days of school like he was planning a military campaign. Cassandra had trouble keeping from laughing sometimes. He had color coded lists, had made a menu for a month's worth at a time of packed lunches, had school supplies portioned out with the extras in color coded tubs in the hall closet. She was seriously wondering how he was going to handle months more of school, let alone the next eleven years of this.
Although she supposed maybe she'd feel differently when it was her own children starting first grade. Though she figured by that point, she and Jake would have had years of the twins going to school to draw from.
It also didn't help that he tossed and turned most of the night. He didn't want to talk about what was troubling him, though she'd known he'd gone to see Mabel that morning. It just didn't help her own mood come morning. They'd both taken the day off of work and she figured now all she was going to do after the kids were safely off to school was go to sleep. In his bed or her own, she didn't much care at this point.
They were up early, lunch boxes and backpacks at the ready. And then Maggie decided she didn't want to wear what she and Cassandra had spent two hours the night before laying out.
Cassandra made a noise that was halfway between a sob and a laugh and Jake decided that maybe he should take a turn with Maggie. After all, he had been handing his daughter off more and more to his girlfriend and it probably wasn't that fair. It just was easier, he'd always let his mother and sisters take charge of her. But he was her father and maybe he did need to step up. So he told Cassandra to finish her coffee and went up with his daughter.
Matt rolled his eyes at their backs. "Girls," he said to Cassandra and went back to eating his cereal. Cassandra almost agreed with him. Matt was looking fairly sharp himself (and a bit like his daddy) in a short sleeved plaid button down and a pair of dark blue shorts. His only real concern school wise had been his dinosaur backpack.
In the fastest time Jake was sure he'd dressed his daughter since she was three, they were back downstairs. Maggie had kept the navy scalloped lace skirt that she and Cassandra had picked out, but now was pairing it with a pink tee shirt with a star on it. Instead of tights, she just wore white lace ankle socks and a pair of gold Mary Janes.
"Oh, you look darling," Cassandra cooed. "That is a better choice, plus you won't be so hot."
Jake started running down his lists, making sure the kids had all their supplies in their backpacks (Maggie's was Disney Princesses) as well as their lunches. The kids were just excited about the whole adventure and Cassandra was trying so hard not laugh at Jake. She knew his whole routine was there to keep him from getting too emotional, but it was a bit hilarious to watch.
Finally they were ready to walk down to the bus stop, leaving a few minutes early to get some photos first. Cassandra and Eve had both suggested taking first day of school pictures every year to continue May's scrapbooking tradition. Cassandra had never scrapbooked before, but she figured it was in her skill set and if all else failed she could just collect them into one old fashioned photo album.
They took photos and Cassandra insisted on having Jake in one. And then Jake wanted one with her in the photo . Then a passing grandmother offered to take one of everyone.
"You have a lovely family," the woman had said to Cassandra as she handed her back her phone.
"Thank you," Cassandra beamed, deciding it wasn't worth correcting the woman who had been so kind.
"Okay, let's get this over with." Jake finally sighed.
They walked with the kids the two blocks to the bus stop, though the closer they got to the stop, the slower Jake was walking compared to the kids. They ran ahead, Jake could feel each step being more and more blurred by tears. He kept telling himself that he was being silly.
But they were his babies. Just yesterday, Matt had taken his first steps from May's knee to his. It seemed like just a week ago when little Maggie had been the first of the two to call him Dada. And now they were off to school full time. Soon they would be doing science fairs and spelling bees and . . . . Before he knew it, they'd be in high school.
He'd slowed down to a stop and Cassandra's arm went around his shoulders.
"They're gonna be okay," she said. "They're your children, yours and May's. They'll do great."
"I know," Jake wiped his eyes. "I'm not worried about them. They were babies yesterday Cassie. When did they grow up?"
She put her arms around him and squeezed, then called the twins back.
"I see the bus coming, so come give us hugs."
From Cassandra they got beaming smiles and told that they would do great. Jake couldn't even speak, but he hugged both of them tightly.
"We'll be here when you get back, now have a good day, do what the teachers tell you." Cassandra said, reciting the speech that she'd heard Jake practicing. But he was just standing there staring, so overcome he couldn't say it.
"We will! Bye Cassie, Bye Daddy!" came the chorus and then the kids were boarding the bus.
They stood there until the bus pulled away and Cassandra took Jake's hand.
"You gonna be okay?"
"Yeah," he said looking down at her and smiling. "I will. They'll do fine, you're right. I gotta get through today."
"And you will, I think you need some sleep. Let's go home and take a nap."
He put his arm around her and squeezed. "Yeah, let's go home."
The End