Chapter Text
and just as i opened my eyes again, i hold this stranger in my arms.
strange.
this rough wall he had built to keep me out seemed to just fallen apart.
he's literally crying like a abandoned child in my arms and i have no fucking clue what to do, please help me.
its a bit awkward sitting here while this stranger keeps crying in my arms.
"stop thinking like this, clanc." i hear torch say.
i hesitate, no.
the one claiming to be torch is still crying, must be in my head.
"of course dude. you know, you should stop thinking he's a stranger." torch thaughts me.
he's right.
i shouldnt think about him being a stranger, well even if he is, he needs my help.
i should do something, he shifts, tries to pull away.
i look at him, his make-up is smeared.
"uh.. torch..", i begin.
he looks up, straight into my eyes, dang.
he has the same mocha eyes like torch.
hes so beautiful.. these eyes, i swear i lost myself in them at least four times now.
urgh, how can one be so pretty?
"i.. i dont know whats going on in your head and i dont really know how to- uh, make you feel better, as you said that my voice triggers you-"
he interupts me, "no- dont- dont stop talking to me, please.."
wow, he seems very..
"what i wanted to say is, maybe we should get you a nice and warm shower, washing all these negative thoughts away, just letting yourself go a bit. and besides that..", he looks at me like a whining animal.
poor guy.
istg if he continues to look at me like this, my heart will break out of sadness.
"dear lord, stop looking at me like this, torch, i'm gonna-"
i need to be extremely careful about my wording here 'cause i seem to have figured out that i'm the reason of his breakdown, i'm the reason. my death is the reason.
"-my heart's gonna break 'cause of sadness! wha- stop making this shocked face, dude, this was supposed to be funny!", i laugh.
look at him.
he smiles a bit.
"what i wanted to say is, you stink, dude. when was the last time you showered, man?"
i help him stand up.
"did you forget how the whole shower situation looks like in our camp?", he grins.
i really seemed to forget.
when was my last time there?
i- i hardly remember.
fuck.
must have been six or seven years now?
good thing me and torch already created a plan how to escape and defeat the bishops!
"i seem to", he just smiles a bit.
did i hurt him?
i hope not.
my hand moves up to his face, am i allowed to touch his face?
my eyes seem to have shown my question, he leans into my touch.
did i break his wall?
"do you want me to help you shower or do you want to shower alone, torch?"
i wouldnt ask him if it was my torch.
my torchie would always shower with me.
we would even sometimes have shower sex, oh you CANT imagine how much i LOVE shower sex with him, urgh.
i miss it already.
i look at torch again, he looks at me.
"uhh..." he seems to think, probably thinks about the same things as me-
no probably not.
let me imagine.. like, IF he's torch from the future he knows if we're like..
still a couple.
maybe he still likes shower sex- i mean- i mean he knows me- basically.
"want me to join?", i whisper, he nodds.
i knew it.
i did break his walls.