Chapter Text
Sunday passed by torturously slowly.
Brendon sauntered around the woods, his sneakers grabbing at soggy leaves as he tried not let any thoughts of Ryan or Ryan's soft, sugary lips or Ryan's sparkling, golden eyes or Ryan's messy, silky curls or long, skinny legs or how much he missed the way he smiled at animals like they were neighbors or the way he tilted his head to the side when he laughed implant themselves in his brain. Unfortunately, trying was not succeeding.
He thought about going home. He thought about quitting moping around, feeling sorry for himself and watching the game instead, drinking hot chocolate and forgetting about the idea of Ryan and Dan looking at the same thing he was, Ryan snuggled into Dan's arms, his cute button nose frosted pink from the cold as Dan booed a call the refs made, Ryan looking up at Dan with that glowing smile, happy to be where he was. He shook his head and kept walking. It seemed eerily quiet and spacious without him, all the birds were silenced, the absence of Ryan's excited jingles haunted Brendon's every step. Brendon didn't like it at all. Brendon wanted his jingles back.
He slumped his shoulders, dropping his eyes to the ground. He missed Ryan's voice. Missed Ryan's laugh. Brendon wondered if Dan could make him laugh.
He sighed deeply, shaking his head. This was sad, he needed to get over himself.
He didn't even flinch as a furry, gray ball tumbled through his legs, breaking the desolate silence.
"Hi." He said flatly. The squirrel looked over at him as he stopped walking, the sound of his sneakers pushing away leaves silencing. "Nice out, isn't it?" He scrunched his nose up, looking around at the mostly-bare trees aimlessly. This was really sad. If only his classmates could see him now, their future homecoming king brooding and heartbroken alone in the woods, talking his problems out to a squirrel. This was fucking pathetic.
The squirrel looked up at him with wide eyes, cocking its head to the side in a questioning manner.
"He's not here today." He mumbled, letting his feet find their way to their spot as the squirrel bounced after him. He thought about shooing it away, but ultimately let his loneliness decide he could use the company.
Brendon sighed. The trees looked more barren than yesterday. Their spot, once bright and familiar felt empty, Ryan-less. The words had lost their luster. Instead, they made Brendon feel hollow, like there was a giant hole punctured through his heart. A rather skinny, tall, Ryan-shaped hole.
Brendon bit his lip. He slumped against his tree, feeling sad. Brendon wondered if Ryan had done his cute levitating act at all or accidentally caused vines to crawl up any of the rival players' legs. Maybe he had made tulips or roses appear out of thin air for Dan. Ryan was precious.
He missed him.
He sighed, remembering the way Ryan's lips moved against his delicately, the way he felt soft and fragile in his arms, like if Brendon had squeezed him too tight he would break. Ryan had demanded a lot of kissing practice throughout the day which caught Brendon off guard more often than not, kissing him in random bursts. Brendon had tried not to get used to it, but melted helplessly into Ryan's lips every time. He missed kissing practice. He missed Ryan.
"What the fuck am I doing?" He asked the squirrel, letting out a harsh breath and resting his elbows on his knees. The squirrel, much to Brendon's relief, did not respond.
Stupid Dan was probably explaining what a body-check was to Ryan, his arms around him, smiling into his soft hair. Brendon scowled at the thought. He wanted to be the one to explain what a body-check was to Ryan. He wanted to be the one to invite Ryan to watch his practices and kiss him goodbye in the middle of the parking lot before school and he wanted to be the one Ryan came over to after games and gave him a tight, excited hug, not minding he was all sweaty and gross because he was his boyfriend. Stupid Dan was holding everything he had ever wanted in a guy as Brendon sat in the woods, cold, lonely and miserable.
The squirrel climbed onto his lap and he gave it a hesitant pat.
"I hope he's having fun." Brendon said to no one in particular. A few leaves spiraled down towards the ground. "I miss him." He added, more directly towards the squirrel.
The squirrel, apparently done with Brendon's brief lamenting, scrambled off of his lap and up the tree behind him, bushy tail flicking. So much for company.
He sighed, watching it shimmy up the trunk when he froze, his eyes catching on a low branch as his heart lurched against his chest. He scowled, tilting his head as he bit down on his lower lip, stomach curling. Roughly etched into the bark were the two small letters R and B conjoined by a poorly-carved heart. Brendon didn't know whether he felt like smiling or breaking down in a broken ball of tears.
* * *
Water rolled down a strand of Brendon's hair as he leaned against a tree, flipping through his playbook absentmindedly, his t-shirt clinging to his damp back. He was only half-hoping that Ryan would be around today. He wasn't in the mood for listening about how spectacular of a kisser Dan was, but he decided that any time with Ryan was still time with Ryan.
He flipped the page, scowling down at the packet. Scribbled onto the paper in black sharpie there was a play that Dan had come up with, cleverly naming it "Dan's Play." It was a stupid play. Sure, it worked 99.9% of the time, but still. Stupid play.
"Hi."
Brendon looked up, his breath caught in his throat. He was starting to think that he would never get used to Ryan's beauty.
He looked the same as ever, but somehow even prettier. Green bomber jacket, colorful leaf crown, curly wisps of hair dangling in front of his shining, amber eyes, the tip of his nose pink from the cold. Brendon sighed.
"Whatcha doing?" Ryan asked, his curls shifting along his defined cheekbones. Brendon had to resist the urge to push them off of his face.
"Reading plays." Brendon responded quietly as Ryan sat down next to him, looking over his shoulder.
"Plays?" Ryan repeated, cocking his head to the side. His golden colored eyes looked tired, maybe a little disappointed too. Brendon felt a lump start to form in his throat.
Brendon nodded, a few drops of water from his hair running down his jawline. "Yeah, for lacrosse. The Xs are people on my team, the Os are the people we're against."
He nodded. "Which X is you?" Ryan asked, obviously feigning interest. Brendon pointed to the middle one.
A small smile flickered at the edges of Ryan's lips before he shifted his gaze toward's Brendon's eyes, brushing a soft-looking curl out of his face. "You're wet."
"Yeah, I just showered. I had lacrosse practice."
Ryan nodded, "I know. I was there."
Brendon frowned, furrowing his eyebrows. "I didn't see you."
He shrugged. "That was my intention."
Brendon looked at him, bemused. Ryan avoided his gaze.
"You're a good lacrosser, y'know."
"Thanks." Brendon said staring at him for a little longer than necessary. Ryan looked sad. His jingles were hardly existent, the corners of his lips turned downwards ever so slightly, his shoulder haunched.
"So, how was it?" Brendon asked, trying to keep any negative energy out of his voice for Ryan's sake.
"Well," Ryan started, slumping against the tree. "It was, in his words, lovely."
Brendon decided not to ask what that meant and just kept looking at Ryan tentatively instead. "Did you have fun?"
"Yes." Ryan responded, leaning his head against Brendon's shoulder which shocked him. He had thought that once Ryan had gone on a date with Dan all the flirting would stop and he could move on. No more magic, no more adorable, nervous levitation or jingly steps or pretty, hazel eyes. He would be Ryan-less just like how he was before. Apparently, this was not the case.
"What'd you do?"
"We um, we went to watch people play lactose and then walked around the place after."
"You mean lacrosse?"
"Yeah." Ryan mumbled, burying his face in Brendon's shoulder.
"Are you sure that's all that happened?" Brendon asked, knowing that he shouldn't prod, but c'mon. The boy was clearly hurting.
"Well um he kissed me, and then we talked about homecoming." Ryan said, and Brendon felt his stomach churn.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Silence.
"Was it any good?"
"It was, I guess." Brendon slid his arm around Ryan's waist, leaning his head against Ryan's mess of curls as Ryan sighed.
"Did he ask you to be his date?"
Ryan nodded, his eyelashes casting dark shadows over his soft cheeks.
"What'd you say?"
Ryan sunk deeper into Brendon, slouching into his shoulder. "Maybe."
Brendon felt an uncontrollable wave of relief wash over him. He didn't hear a yes. "Hey, you okay?" He muttered, his lips placing a hesitant kiss in Ryan's hair.
Ryan flinched but didn't move, Brendon's stomach turning uncomfortably. Ryan shook his head and wrapped his arms around Brendon's middle, leaning into his chest as damp wood and pine filled his nose. Brendon put his other arm around Ryan protectively, pulling him closer for comfort. "What'd he do?"
Ryan swallowed, nuzzling into Brendon's chest, his body feeling like dead weight in his arms."He didn't do anything."
"What happened then?" Brendon asked, running a hand down Ryan's back before kissing the top of his head again. Ryan was quiet, clinging to Brendon softly. Brendon sighed. Try, try, and try again.
"Start from the game." Brendon managed, tracing his hand along Ryan's spine.
"Ok." Ryan said, his voice cracking. "We, um watched people do lacrosse for a few hours and he was really into it y'know? And I saw that guy that was on your wall," Brendon was about to say he had multiple posters of lacrosse players hung up in his bedroom but decided that it would be best just to let Ryan continue, "and then, I told him that I knew him because of you and he just said that that was lovely and we went on a lovely walk in the woods after and the leaves were lovely and the trees were lovely and he talked about homecoming and I said that you were going to be homecoming king and he said that was lovely and then he asked if he could kiss me and he did and it was like kissing a lovely, incompetent brick."
Brendon fought back a smile because clearly, Ryan was upset, but something about Ryan admitting that Dan wasn't as great as he had made him out to be brightened Brendon's mood for some horrible reason. "So, you didn't like him?"
"No, I didn't. He was boring and yeah, he liked nature but it's more entertaining when you have to yell at someone for ripping apart grass or, or denying squirrels the basic rights to eat muffins that cute boys give you, or–"
"Cute?" Brendon asked, running his fingers through Ryan's ruffled hair.
"Adorable." Ryan confirmed, turning his head and kissing the underside of Brendon 's jaw angrily, Brendon's heart fluttering into his throat. "And if I'm going to this homecoming thing I certainly don't want to spend it talking about his car, or his play, or- or you."
Brendon raised his eyebrows in confusion. "Me?"
"All he does is talk badly about you." Ryan mumbled, his cheeks sparking light pink.
"That's a problem for you?"
"Well, yeah it is." Brendon felt every muscle in his body tense, his throat constricting, Ryan looking up at him expectantly. Brendon didn't say anything.
"Aren't you mad at me?" Ryan asked, sounding a little hurt as Brendon tucked his playbook into his backpack, sighing.
"No, of course not."
Ryan didn't look convinced, his dark eyebrows pulling together. "Why?"
Brendon frowned. "Why would I be?"
"Because." Ryan insisted, a few strands of hair falling into his eyes.
"Can't argue with that logic." Brendon deadpanned, raising an eyebrow.
Ryan's face flared with an emotion that Brendon couldn't decipher. "Sarcasm. See, you're mad at me."
"Ryan, you're being ridiculous. I'm not upset with you." Brendon managed.
"But you are." Ryan emphasized, lifting his head off of Brendon's shoulder.
Brendon was quiet, looking at Ryan with a confused expression on his face. Ryan huffed, pressing his hands to Brendon's shoulders and knocking him to the ground forcefully. "You're mad at me!" He insisted, pinning Brendon's arms down.
"I'm not mad at you, Ryan! Get off!" Brendon squeaked, blushing hard as he swallowed. Ryan held Brendon's wrists in place, breathing heavily as Brendon started squirming underneath him.
"No!" Ryan pleaded, his eyes widening. Brendon tried to protest, but was promptly cut off by Ryan's lips slamming against his, his taste spreading across Brendon's lips like sugar. He gave a muffled sigh as Ryan pulled back, eyebrows knitted together, breathing heavily. Brendon continued to lie on the ground as Ryan pushed himself off him, thin, soft lips parted with worry. He started to pace, wet leaves folding under his boots.
Brendon watched him, tilting his head to the side as Ryan took a few shaky breaths, his hands winding themselves in his springy curls. "No, no, no," He uttered as Brendon sat upright, Ryan's breathing becoming slightly more irregular.
Brendon was confused.
"I'm confused." Brendon said, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I should go." Ryan said, shivering slightly. "I should really, really go."
Brendon frowned, walking towards him. "Ryan, are you okay?" He asked, reaching out and grabbing his hand, Ryan gasping slightly as he tangled their fingers together.
"I– Mm, I just," He shook Brendon off, swallowing hard. He began to pace again.
Brendon sighed, chewing on his lip. "Please don't go."
"Brendon, I," He choked, his body visibly shaking as he feet lifted off the ground. "I can't,"
"Calm down, okay? I– here." He said, pulling off his windbreaker and handing it over to Ryan.
"You're shivering."
"I don't mean to it's just," He froze, Brendon seizing the opportunity to wrap his jacket over Ryan's shoulders.
"I'm not angry at you, relax."
Ryan shook his head. "Not at all? Like not even a little?" He asked, his tone hopeful.
"No." Brendon said brushing a fallen piece of hair out of his eyes. "What the hell is going on?"
Ryan looked at his levitating feet.
"Brendon I like you." He confessed, gnawing on his inner cheek.
"I like you too." Brendon said automatically, crossing his arms.
"I just can't if you– what?" He hit the ground with a loud jingle, his cheeks darkening as he became suddenly very interested in the dirt by his boots. "Oh."
Brendon bit his lip, trying to contain the smile that was slowly spreading across his face. Ryan liked him. He knew it really, but out loud it sounded so sincere, implicit. He smiled wider.
"Then, why weren't you mad when I was talking about Dan?"
Brendon felt his heart rate pick up as he walked over to Ryan, his fingers reaching up and tangling themselves in the hair at the top of his neck. "You wanted me to be jealous? How old are you, five?" Ryan looked up, his sparkling eyes meeting Brendon's as he let out a sigh.
"I don't know." He said, hesitantly wrapped his arms around Brendon's waist. "I started liking you, and you and Dan hate each other– it just seemed like a good idea." Ryan tried to read his expression. "I'm sorry."
Brendon gave him a long look. "If I forgive you, will you come with me to homecoming?" Ryan flushed, his mouth dropping slightly as he stared at Brendon.
Brendon's confidence melted abruptly, his fingers finding their way into his pockets. "I mean, um. I know we just met and all, but I'd really like it, if you joined me. As my, as my date." Brendon muttered, his heart pumping vigorously. He felt Ryan look at him softly.
"Yeah. I would. Really, really would like to actually." Brendon looked up their eyes locking as Ryan blushed.
"Okay." Brendon said, his smile growing uncontrollably. "Yeah, that's great. Okay, yeah."
"Brendon?"
"Mmm?"
Ryan reached him in one step, pressing his lips against Brendon's, his long fingers tangled into Brendon's hair, the faint taste of maple syrup spilling over Brendon's mouth. He kissed back, his arms wrapping around Ryan's waist as he pulled him closer, heart hammering against chest. "You're the stupidest human I've ever met." He said softly, hit warm breath sticking to Brendon's lips. Brendon felt inebriated.
"You shower me with kindness." Brendon retorted, smiling like it was the only thing he knew how to do. Ryan shrugged coyly.
"You're wonderful." He murmured as Ryan lifted his lips off his.
"No, actually, I'm a nymph." Ryan said, placing a soft kiss on the bridge of Brendon's nose as Brendon chuckled, breathing in the scent of damp wood and pine.
"Wait a second Puck, you're losing your tiara." Brendon noticed, adjusting Ryan's leaf crown and running his fingers through his curls.
Ryan scrunched his nose up. "Who?"
* * *
"I can't believe you never had to read a Midsummer Night's Dream." Brendon complained as Ryan adjusted Brendon's plastic crown.
Boston's More Than A Feeling played loudly as they swayed on the dance floor, Brendon's homecoming crown that was roughly four sizes too large shifting with his every movement, one of Ryan's hands on his hips, the other constantly trying to hold it in place.
"I mean," he continued, "with you being a fairy and all." Ryan looked down at Brendon, his yellow-brown eyes suddenly flickering with annoyance as he gripped his hip tighter.
"Brendon," He began, clearing his throat, "I am a nymph. N-Y-M-P-H. Not an elf. Not a fairy. A nymph."
Brendon rolled his eyes, a smile evident on his lips. "I don't care what you are, as long as you're mine." He said, pulling Ryan towards him and kissing him deeply, Ryan's stunned, open lips meeting his halfway.
Brendon slid his fingers through the baby soft curls at the top of Ryan's neck and ran his tongue along his lower lip before pushing it into his mouth, knocking their hips together.
Ryan let out a soft breath as Brendon pulled away, blinking in awe.
"Oh. Okay." Ryan managed as Brendon felt himself fit his head into the crook of Ryan's neck, swaying gently.
"You know, you don't have to be nervous." Brendon said, his lips pressed against Ryan's warm skin. "It's only me."
"I'm not." Ryan said, his voice shaky as Brendon let his hands slide along Ryan's shoulder blades.
"You're a bad liar Tinkerbell."
Ryan rolled his eyes, letting out a soft huff. "I'm not, I swear."
Brendon looked up at him smugly before placing a brief kiss on his lips. "Then stop levitating."