Chapter Text
“How many times do I have to tell you, I wasn’t drunk”
“No of course not. You are just incredibly forgetful by nature.”
“If you are gonna continue speaking to me like that, why don’t you just get out”
“That’s immature”
“No, immaturity would be cutting your funding for this disrespect”
Pantalone didn’t like how exposed he felt having Dottore in his room. Dottore was a stark contrast compared to his many trinkets and paintings. All the things he held dear were in this room.
Dottore, who sat on the couch, cocked his head to the side, observing Pantalone’s pathetic state as he lay on his bed. The raven haired man was half heartedly covering himself with his blanket while searching for his glasses.
“Asking whether you have a drinking problem warrants funding cuts now?”
“You are calling me an alcoholic”
“You are an alcoholic”
“… half”
“Half?”
“Your funding has been cut by half for this month”
“You can’t be serious”
“Get out before I half it again!”
Dottore sat still for a while before letting out an exasperated sigh.
“Come find me once you come to your senses”
With that he leaves.
Pantalone fell back into the pillows after putting on his glasses, staring up at his ceiling. He had a painter from Fontaine come in and paint the whole thing. It was filled with depictions of mountains and animals, rivers and boats.
Pantalone digs his thumbs into his eye sockets. He wasn’t even annoyed that Dottore thought he had a drinking problem. Even he knew he had one. What annoyed him was that the Doctor didn’t believe him.
He dropped his hands and turned his head to the side, eyeing the pocket watch on his nightstand. Had someone stolen it at the ball, broken into his quarters and left it to taunt him?
He reached out for it, grasping it with his bare hand. The pocket watch had the same dents and scratches it always had. It was made from the same cheap material, nothing like the gold he owned now.
---
“Don’t tell me you’ll miss me when I die or something”
“Or something”
Pantalone’s office was warm. Or maybe it was the booze. It doesn’t matter.
They sat facing each other on the same couch, knees touching.
“I just don’t understand why you won’t let me enhance you. You witnessed me do it plenty of times, I have never changed.”
“You can not tell me you are still the same person now that you were before you started using yourself as a test subject”
“…”
“You see?”
Dottore gripped the glass in his hands tighter. His proposal had been rejected. Again. Pantalone is unsure what brought on this discussion.
“I’m offering you a way to escape death, yet you refuse.”
“If I become someone I am not, would I technically not be dead? How much can you replace of yourself before the argument can be made that you died and have become a different person”
“You are far too sentimental”
“And you are not sentimental enough.”
Dottore seems to mull over something, his head tilting down towards their knees. Pantalone wonders what his expression would look like without the mask, not for the first time too.
“Do you despise what I have made of myself?”
Pantalone sips his drink. Does he? How much of his friend is still human and how much is artificial. Will at some point his closest companion be nothing but a machine, devoid of feeling?
Others wouldn’t notice if that were the case, but he would. There is a rumor that the doctor doesn’t feel the same as regular people do. While he does feel positively or negatively about certain situations and objects, his feelings have become much more black and white. That he did this to himself to further distance himself from this affliction humans have.
Pantalone knows that’s far from the truth.
“Pantalone”
“Hmm?”
“Answer my question”
Pantalone smiled. Was Dottore.. nervous? How endearing.
“Of course not”
Dottore’s shoulders visibly relaxed. He lay back, resting his head against the arm rest of the couch. He lifted his legs onto Pantalone’s lap and for once the banker decided not to comment on Dottore getting blood on him. Pantalone could see more of his face, with the mask angled the way it was. He can even make out the red eyes, or maybe he is just imagining it. No matter how close they get, it seems Dottore is determined to hide his face from him no matter what.
“And if I.. prolong your existence without changing your body or organs?”
“Is that possible?”
“Perhaps. I’d need funding”
Pantalone chuckles.
“Then I have no reason not to agree”
---
Pantalone spent the better half of the day examining every inch of his living quarters. Anything to explain how someone might get in and out without leaving a trace. Alas, the search was unsuccessful. Maybe he is just drinking too much. That would somewhat explain him misplacing his things, but it doesn’t explain why his fireplace was lit when he got home a few days ago.
Maybe the events are unrelated?
Maybe Pantalone should just move?
Some of the other Harbingers live outside the palace. Arlecchino lives in the house of hearth for example, but she also has little reason to be in the palace. Plus, the thought of travelling through the snow daily sounds absolutely miserable.
He walks through each room again, memorizing where everything was. Pantalone leaves his home, locks the door twice and starts his walk to his office.
“Good afternoon Lord Harbinger”
“Afternoon Sasha”
“Lord Harbinger the Doctor told me that he requires you in his lab.”
“I’m sure he does”
Upon entering his office Pantalone finds his desk empty.
“Where are my things?”
“He took them.”
“Tell me Sasha, what’s the point of having a guard stand outside my office if he lets everyone in anyway?”
“My apologies Lord Harbinger.. but it’s the Doctor..” The guard stammered out.
“Utterly useless” Pantalone scolds. He takes a moment to pinch his nose and take a deep breath. “Anything he breaks will be compensated out of your paycheck”
“Yes Lord Harbinger”
Pantalone sits down in his chair.
“Forgive me Lord Harbinger, but shouldn’t you go to the lab?”
“Dottore knows where he can find me. I’m far too old and tired to play these games”
Sasha nods and bows, retreating back to his post outside of the banker’s office. Pantalone leans deeper into his chair, his back already aching.
He quickly gets bored though. Unfortunately he is far too stubborn to admit defeat.
He walks towards his balcony and lights a cigarette. The warmth it brings to his lips makes Pantalone sigh contently. He looks out. It was snowing all night. Below him Fatui agents are cleaning the roads towards the palace.
If he tries he can see the distant villages. The closer a village is to the palace. The wealthier its people. The nobles decided, for whatever reason, they would be safer if they live close to the palace. Unfortunately keeping them safe is nowhere in the Fatui’s goal. Sure he of all people appreciates their finances, but if they were all to die the mora would be his anyway.
Safety.
There’s no such thing. A word made to comfort children who don’t yet know better. He didn’t have that luxury growing up. Sure the rich are always more protected, but it only takes one person to be determined and angry enough to change that.
It’s cruel and at the same time it’s right. It’s at least a small bit of equality. God or human, no one can afford safety.
He finishes his cigarette and immediately lights another one. Not like he has any choice in the matter. The doctor decided to take his work after all.
“You were supposed to come to my lab”
“Remind me not to soundproof the next pair of shoes I get for you”
“I want to run some tests on you”
Pantalone turns to face him.
“What for?”
“Alcohol can affect the brain.”
“Do you truly believe I drink so much that it would become a problem?”
“Why won’t you humor me? It’s just a few simple tests, non intrusive at all. It would put my mind at ease”
“You would much rather believe I have a problem than believe in me.”
Pantalone blew smoke onto Dottore’s mask. This close he could see the red pupils through the small slits in the mask. Dottore, for his credit, didn’t react. Instead he chose to grab his arm as he tried walking away.
“Don’t let your fragile ego get in the way of your health”
Dottore steps in front of him again. This close together Pantalone has to tilt his head slightly down. The Doctor still somehow remains as intimidating as ever.
“You are quite short tempered today, especially after you woke up this morning”
A cough sounds from the office, making both Dottore and Pantalone turn their heads towards the sound.
Sasha was staring at them with today’s newspaper in his hands, shifting his weight foot to foot.
This will not be helping the rumors.
“Oh for Archon’s sake… fine you may do one test”
“Two”
“One”
“One”
---
The morning sun rays cause Pantalone to flutter his eyes open. He stretches, his back popping. The silky sheets are soft under him, as if he is laying on water. The sound of the waterfall and the birds outside put a smile on his face. He had nowhere to be today. He rolled onto his side, faced with the blurry image of the man next to him.
“Morning” His voice came out slurred, still tainted with deep sleep.
“No not yet”
“Alright”
Dottore huffed, pulling Pantalone closer towards him till they are pressed chest to chest.
This close Pantalone doesn’t need his glasses to make out his face. The easy smile. The doctor’s half lidded eyes are looking at him so fondly Pantalone almost cant handle it. His olive skin is more tan than ever, no longer suffering Snezhnayan weather.
Slowly he reaches out to cup the other man’s cheek. Instead of touching warm skin, his hand passes through. Dottore’s still smiling face disappears in front of him, taking the rest of the room with him till he is left with nothing but darkness.
Pantalone feels his chest tighten, like his heart is grieving the moment that was lost far too quickly. He tries to call out, scream for help, but no sound comes out of his mouth.
He feels his hands shake. They start to shrivel right in front of his eyes. Not too soon the skin starts falling off, leaving only bone which too eventually turns to dust and disappears into nothingness.
This time when he tries to scream he is blinded by light.
“Oh good. How do you feel?”
Dottore came into view. He was leaning over him, clipboard in hand.
Pantalone sat up, almost bumping heads with Dottore.
“What did you do?” The anger almost clouds his vision. The smug look Dottore gives him only fueling him on.
“Sedated you, of course”
Pantalone grabs Dottore’s collar, pulling him in closer. Dottore, despite being much stronger, lets it happen.
“How dare you? What gives you the right!?”
“We are business partners. If you were to die, what would happen to my Mora?”
Pantalone scoffs in his face, letting go of him.
“You are right to be worried about Mora. You just lost all of it for this and the next month”
Dottore only cocks his head at that.
“Aren’t you interested in what I learned?”
“Am I dying?”
“No”
“Then no”
“Well that’s good because I didn’t find anything”
Pantalone almost started screaming again, but he was still groggy. Instead he started looking for his shirt. Dottore for whatever reason partially undressed him.
“I’m giving you good news. You’re healthy. Well as long as we are talking about your brain, your lungs on the other hand..”
“I already knew my brain was healthy”
“Yes, but now I know it too”
“You are completely unbelievable”
“Why are you so upset? This is hardly the first time I sedated you”
“I was upset every time you sedated me!”
“This is the first time you are so emotional about it”
Pantalone stills. Dottore wordlessly hands him his shirt. The shirt is still intact. Usually when Dottore decided to run tests on him he had little care for his clothes. It got to the point that Pantalone never wore his favorite clothes around Dottore. It had been a few years since this has truly been an issue though.
After Pantalone puts on his shirt Dottore hands him his delusion. It pulses slightly once placed in Pantalone’s palm.
“Explain the incidents again”
“You already know them”
“Repeat them”
“It started when I came home and realized the fireplace was lit. There was no way it would’ve stayed lit from the day before which is when I lit it. No one has a key to my place other than me and now as you know I also had the locks changed”
Dottore nods, sitting down next to Pantalone.
“On my bedside table I have a small bowl where I put my rings. I take them off right before bed and put them on right after waking up. Every day since I became a harbinger. But now one of those rings is missing. It must have happened during the night because I would have noticed it missing when taking off the rings”
“Yes I saw the bowl”
“How insightful you are”
“Please continue”
“And at the ball the pocket watch that was in my pocket somehow was on my kitchen table when I got home”
“And directly after you passed out?”
“Yes”
“Interesting”
“I’m glad you think so”