Chapter Text
Zayn and Harry work together.
That wouldn't even be a problem, but see, Zayn and Harry work together in Zayn's apartment. Where Louis lives.
It sucks to admit it, but yeah: Zayn was right all along.
What was Louis thinking, fucking his coworker?
Jesus.
There's only one thing he can do at this point.
He needs to dump him. That's all he can do.
Harry's texts start multiplying over the next few hours, and he goes from "Are you busy?" to "Lou...talk to me?" to "Why the fuck are you doing this?" really quickly.
This might be harder than Louis thought it would be.
Of course he knew Harry liked him, that part was pretty obvious. He didn't know he would put up a fight, though.
He keeps ignoring him for two more days and then reality bites him in the ass.
He goes into the kitchen to get something to eat and there he is.
His bisexual lover, sitting in his living room.
He should have seen it coming but he just fucking loses it, hiding in the kitchen for at least fifteen minutes, hyperventilating like a teenage girl who's just seen her celebrity crush.
It's ridiculous.
He can't let this happen.
Louis Tomlinson does not hide. If anything, he scares people away.
So he fixes his briefs and his worn out T-shirt, 'cause he was napping for fuck's sake, he takes a deep breath and he goes into the living room.
Zayn ignores him. Harry tries, for about eight seconds.
Then he lifts his head up and Louis wants to jump out the window.
Harry looks so mad, so hurt, so confused that Louis just wants to dig a hole and rot inside of it.
He made a mess.
But it's not his fault, he means it.
Harry stares at him like he wants to skin him alive, and Louis really, really believes that none of this is his fault.
Harry should have told him. Louis doesn't mess around with bisexual boys, not since Greg. And he never sees the same guy for more than a few months, anyway.
So, again: not his fault.
Harry probably begs to differ.
Louis hides in his room - as it turns out, Louis Tomlinson does hide sometimes - and after less than an hour later he hears the bathroom door closing and his phone ringing at the exact same time.
It's Harry, of course. This time he's in his house and not answering would be just plain cruel.
And risky. What if Harry knocks on his door.
"Hey." He says, pulling on his own hair out of frustration. All he can hear at first is Harry breathing in and out, his rage making his way to him even with two closed doors separating them.
"As soon as I'm done working," Harry says, probably gritting his teeth. "and Zayn goes to bed, you get out of your room, you unlock the door and you let me in."
Louis holds his breath, torturing his lower lip with his teeth. Harry sounds livid.
But he can't tell him what to do, he can't fucking treat him this way.
"Louis." Harry hisses, when he keeps quiet. "Do you hear me?"
Louis swallows dry.
"Yes."
It's like that movie, where the guys who were sentenced to death have to walk a mile to get to the electric chair.
And just like in the movie, Louis did not commit this crime.
Still, he has to walk his green mile to the door and he basically gets electrocuted by Harry's eyes.
Life's not fair.
He doesn't let him in, 'cause Harry looks like someone who wants to yell. A lot.
He gets outside instead, carefully closing the door behind himself.
"Let me explain." He whispers, raising his hands up.
Harry furrows his eyebrows.
"Listening." he just says, making Louis realize that he should have thought this through.
He's had a couple hours to do just that, since Harry's call, but he was too dumb to accomplish that task.
He spent that precious time masturbating instead, and shoving his fingers up his own ass to keep himself from letting Harry fuck him once they were alone.
And now here he is, sore and uncomfortable and still craving Harry's cock.
"So?" Harry prompts, crossing his arms.
Louis read about it on some blog: it means he's closing up, he's not really going to give a chance to whatever Louis is going to say.
But then again, it doesn't take a body language expert to figure that out.
"I just."
And that's pretty much it. He hasn't got much more to add.
He just hopes Harry still likes him enough.
So he darts forward before he can come to his senses, pressing their lips together, forcing his tongue inside of Harry's mouth and his body against his chest.
Harry kisses him at first, it must be some sort of instinct by now, but then he grabs him by the shoulders, pushing him back.
"I don't think so." he hisses, as his fingertips sink deeper into his skin. "I won't let you play me this way."
"I was confused." Louis whines, trying to get Harry to kiss him again. "I needed some space."
"You could have told me." Harry immediately shoots back, that disappointed expression still on his face.
Louis hates it. He needs to make it go away.
"Give me a kiss." he insists, leaning forward despite Harry's solid grip.
He didn't actually believe it would work.
But, much to his surprise, it does.
"I wanna kill you." Harry's saying again, while Louis locks the door and pulls him into the hallway.
"Hush." he whispers, blindly looking for the door handle.
"You're a horrible person." Harry insists, pulling Louis' hair a little bit.
Louis finally manages to open the door, while trying to get Harry to shut up at the same time, and they finally walk into his room.
"You are such a bad person." Harry repeats, and Louis wants to punch him. But then "Why do I like you so much." Harry whispers, and Louis just wants to kiss him now.
Louis learns three new things about Harry that night.
The first one comes to the surface five minutes into them making out, the moment Harry slips his hand down Louis' briefs, circling a finger around his hole.
Harry is jealous.
He asks him if he slept with someone else and in that moment all Louis sees in his eyes is sheer terror.
That means he needs to admit why he's a bit loose and that has Harry smirking like an idiot. Of course he's super proud about the fact Louis doesn't think he can resist him.
But in the end, Harry's the one fingering him even after what he's done. So Louis is still in control and his milkshake is still the best in town, probably in the entire country.
The second thing Louis learns is that Harry always wants to fuck him raw now, and the worst part is that Louis was kinda wishing for that to happen to begin with.
He has a really hard time keeping quiet this time, as Harry slides inside, skin against skin, flesh against flesh, reminding him once again how mind-blowing it is, when he gets inside of him.
No wonder Louis can't resist him.
But it's not how they usually do it. Harry doesn't get rough, he doesn't choke him or spank him or stuff his fingers into his mouth.
He fucks him slow, deep, beautifully.
Louis has a really hard time keeping every sound in, especially when Harry comes inside him again, and this time Louis' not drunk, this time Louis knows exactly what's happening and his heart is thumping so loud he's worried the boys might hear it.
The third thing he learns is that Harry sleeps on his belly. He can't even convince himself to wake him up and kick him out. He looks so calm and so tired Louis must let it go this time.
Just this time.
Sneaking Harry into the house can be difficult sometimes.
Both Liam and Zayn need to be asleep and Harry and Louis have to be quick but quiet at the same time. It's not an easy job.
Sneaking him out is even harder, 'cause Zayn is often home and Liam wakes up pretty early and Harry and Louis are a lot sleepier after they spent the night having sex, they tend to bang their feet against the furniture a lot. It can be pretty painful.
Sneaking Harry out of the house in the morning, after they slept in the same bed, is almost impossible.
Then why do they keep on doing that?
"This would be a lot easier, if you came over to my place." Harry points out one morning, after Louis basically survived a heart attack because Zayn knocked on his door to ask him if he wanted something from Starbucks.
"You need to get out now. Zayn left and Liam is having a shower. But it's his day off, so he's probably spending the morning at home. So, yeah. You should leave." Louis replies, but he's also yawning so Harry doesn't really listen to him.
He slowly drags his fingers up and down Louis' back instead, making his skin sting with soft shivers, making his eyelids heavy.
"Why won't you come over?" Harry asks him, pressing a small kiss to his forehead.
Louis hums approvingly, tilting his head to get more of that. He likes that. Feels nice.
"Leave." He repeats, but it's not that convincing, considering he's still resting on Harry's chest while saying it.
"My bed is bigger." Harry informs him. "My house isn't, but there's no one else around. Well, except for Dorian."
"Is that your bird?" Louis wonders, letting his eyes slip closed again.
"Parrot, Louis. He's a parrot." Harry corrects him, like it makes any difference.
"Whatever." Louis replies, yawning again. "You should leave."
"I have a great comic book collection-"
"Nerd." Louis interrupts him, sucking a hickey into his neck.
"And an Xbox and a hot tub."
Louis' head snaps up.
"You have a hot tub?!" He asks, suddenly looking more awake than ever.
Harry shrugs.
"Would you come over if I had one?"
Louis rolls his eyes.
"No." He tells him. "Not in a million years."
Three months.
Three almost blissful months go by during which they have sex and they have fun and they make the best of a weird situation, until Harry starts messing it up.
It was too good to be true.
Louis should have known better.
Niall keeps on rooting for them, he even gets violent on multiple occasions when Louis starts considering dumping Harry again.
But he's trying to complicate things and Louis hates complicated shit.
Why can't they just keep it this way?
Everybody knows it, come on. When things get hard Louis is out. Plain and simple.
Harry needs to stop doing this.
One night Louis is riding Harry's cock, going at it so hard Harry has to pin his arms behind his back at some point, to fuck up into him and set up the pace the way he wants.
Louis doesn't mind, to be honest. It gets difficult after an hour to keep going like that.
Louis is just whimpering and hiding his face in the crook of Harry's neck, trying to keep quiet and come at the same time, which is way harder than it sounds.
He's so close, his pleasure coiling up inside of him, ready to explode. That's when Harry starts running his mouth again.
"I'll never get tired of this." He says, and so far so good, Louis loves hearing that. Also because he knows Harry means it. The look he gets once Louis starts undressing hasn't changed yet. He's still as passionate and as dirty as he was when this all began. Louis is so lucky.
But then Harry keeps running his mouth, like he always does when he's about to come.
"Wanna fuck you every day." he mutters, confirming his statement with a smack on Louis' ass.
"We fuck almost every day." Louis pants, trying to ride his cock again. "Isn't that good enough for you?"
Harry stops moving.
Louis would yell at him, if Zayn and Liam weren't asleep in their rooms. He has to settle on just biting his jaw.
"Move." he hisses, circling his hips.
Harry keeps still, he just drags his hand up Louis' chest, resting it on his cheek.
"Why don't you move in with me?" he whispers.
And it's crystal clear now. Harry has it all twisted.
Niall has that look, the one he gives Louis right before he punches his arm.
Louis subtly takes a step back.
"And what did you say?" Niall asks, frowning.
What was there to say.
"Nothing. I just got him to finish what he started, that's all." He answers, pulling at a lose thread in his jacket. Talking about stuff is supposed to make you feel better. It just makes him feel cornered and stuck. He doesn't want to talk shit out. He wants Harry to fuck him, he wants Niall to leave him alone and he wants his roommates to mind their fucking business.
That's all he wants.
Niall shakes his head.
"You didn't give him an answer?!"
What could he tell him. He won't even agree to seeing his house and Harry suddenly asks him to move in with him. Louis can't believe Harry's trying so hard to ruin everything.
See? This is why he never sees the same guy for this long. At some point they start thinking Louis is their boyfriend and he belongs to them and he owes them an explanation for everything.
That's usually when Louis pushes them away.
"I never gave him any reason to believe this is turning into something serious." He argues, fidgeting with his hair this time.
Niall bites his lower lip. Maybe he's considering kicking Louis, to try something new.
"Well, you let him sleep here most nights." He points out.
"Yeah, so?"
Niall squints his eyes.
"And you got him that stupid adventure time T-shirt last week."
"And?" Louis questions, raising his eyebrows. It means nothing.
"You fuck him without a condom, Lou. That must means something, right?"
"It means nothing." Louis states, crossing his arms. "It's just one out of a million things we do in bed."
Niall gives him a skeptical look. What does he know, anyway?
"Okay." Niall says after a while, sitting on the couch and turning the TV on.
Louis just stands there at first, waiting for him to continue, but Niall seems more interested in commercials.
Louis scoffs.
"What." He grunts, trying to catch his attention.
Niall doesn't even stop looking at the TV screen when he speaks again.
"Okay, then. Dump him."
He knew that already. He's known it for a while now: this thing with Harry can't go on any longer.
He's glad Niall finally realized it too.
When you don't want the same things anymore it means it's time to call it off, right?
It's pretty obvious.
Louis made up his mind about it. Now he just needs to let Harry know.
Harry has no idea.
He's always wearing that silly smile whenever he's with him, always touching him and kissing him and making him laugh.
The worst thing is that Louis was kinda hoping he'd get tired of Harry at some point, he was pretty sure their sex life would start inevitably declining, making it easier for him to just let it go.
Another whole month goes by and sex with Harry only gets better.
The problem is, after you fuck the same person for the hundredth time, you know their body, their kinks, their weaknesses.
Harry knows all of that and more.
He can make Louis come just twisting his fingers inside of him. He can make Louis beg while burying his face in his ass. He can make him so pliant Louis forgets every single word except for "yes", he can make him suck on his cock for hours, perfectly happy to do just that.
And, on top of it all, Harry can make Louis come just with his cock, while holding his wrists together, just fucking him and telling him things Louis never knew he needed to hear.
It would work, it would still be perfect if Harry didn't start asking for more.
He starts talking about going on holiday together and introducing him to his stupid bird and getting matching tattoos.
It's too much for Louis to handle.
It's time for Louis to let him go.
He keeps promising himself he's gonna dump him every day.
Then Harry starts kissing his neck and Louis decides he's definitely doing it tomorrow.
Then tomorrow becomes today and Harry smells particularly good and Louis needs to have him again, just one more time, and then he'll be ready.
Another day goes by and Harry's there again, with his beautiful eyes and his warm hands and his sexy voice and his perfect cock.
So Louis is just gonna do it tomorrow, okay?
It goes on until September comes and it's always raining. Harry looks incredible when he's wet and Louis needs to get him out of these clothes or else he's going to get sick. Once Harry's naked there's nothing Louis can do to keep it from happening again.
It goes on and on and on and Louis keeps telling himself that this is going to be the last time, it's getting ridiculous and Harry deserves to know the truth.
Tomorrow he's dumping him for good.
He really is. Just one last time and there you go. Done. Over. Bye.
So he lets Harry fuck him on the floor, because apparently he was too horny to let him lie on his bed, and he takes him for the last time, he lets him come inside for the last time.
When they're done and Harry's wearing his clothes again Louis is just gonna tell him.
He's rehearsing his speech while they're both still coming down from their high, still locked together and still on the floor.
That's when Harry does it.
He slips out of him, he carefully helps him turn around, brushing his damp fringe out of his face.
Then he kisses him, slow, deep, the way Louis likes it, and when he stops he says it.
He looks at him for a while, he breathes in and he just tells him.
"I love you." He says.
Louis should have dumped him yesterday.
Harry probably didn't really expect Louis to say it back.
Louis can't let him stay that night.
He makes up an excuse, something about forgetting his deadline for a translation job he had to finish. Harry seems to buy it.
Louis can't sleep in the same bed with a guy who has just told him he loves him.
Not since he was nineteen.
He just tells him one night.
He didn't plan on doing it but when the moment comes he just goes with it.
The rain is tapping on his bedroom window, Harry is sleepy and peaceful, it's warm under the covers and Louis has just had an orgasm.
The moment seems right to let Harry peek behind his walls a little bit.
He feels like he's going to regret it as soon as he opens his mouth.
"I've only had one boyfriend."
Harry was about to fall asleep, judging by the way he was breathing, but that's apparently enough to wake him up.
Louis holds his breath, waiting for his reaction.
Harry doesn't speak. He just drags his hand down Louis' back, warming him up.
"I met him when I was sixteen." Louis continues, shifting a bit until he can see Harry's face.
He looks tense but he also looks like he's trying to hide it.
"I needed a French tutor to practise a bit before an exam. That's how I met him."
He sees Harry swallowing, he sees him frowning.
"He was nine years older than me." Louis explains, probably answering a question Harry had in mind.
Harry nods, his hands move on Louis' back again.
"I know it may sound bad." Louis comments, with a tiny nervous laugh. "But I'm the one who made the first move. And the second and the third."
Also Harry laughs at that.
"Sounds like you, yeah." He finally says, with an uncertain smile curling his lips.
"What did you do?" He also asks, finally relaxing a little.
Louis can picture it in his head like it happened yesterday. It still hurts like it happened yesterday.
"One day I was leaving after our lesson and I just kissed him. It was messy and awkward and if I think about it I still wanna die."
Harry laughs again, for real this time, and Louis can't help but do the same.
"He tried to pretend nothing happened, at first." he says, resting his chin on Harry's chest, looking into his eyes to find some kind of comfort inside of them.
But Harry can't reassure him, 'cause he's getting nervous now, maybe he's not sure he wants to know the rest of that story.
Louis tells him anyway.
"Then I guess he fell in love with me. We were together for three years."
Three years is a fucking eternity when you are that young. It's half of your teenage years, it's such a big part of your life it's never going to fade.
Louis remembers everything so clearly. But Harry doesn't need to know.
Not about the fact Louis lost his virginity only after one week, or about the way Greg used to look at him, with that proud smile, whenever Louis spoke French to him, about the way he used to promise him a future together. A little house in Paris, why not.
The kind of shit only a teenager would fall for.
Harry doesn't need to know about any of that.
Not about the fact Louis still thinks about him every day, every night, all the time. And it still hurts.
"Then what?" Harry asks, closing both arms around him, not holding too tight.
Louis sighs. He stops looking at Harry for a while.
"Then he tells me he has a girlfriend. He's had one all along."
Greg used to spend only three days a week in London. His other job was in Norwich. And so was his other life.
"He tells me he never told me because he loves me, doesn't want to lose me."
He did love him. Louis never doubted it, not for a second.
He just never loved him enough to pick him. He also never loved him enough to actually push him away, when he still had the chance.
Greg never loved Louis enough to keep himself from ruining his life.
Louis looks up at Harry again, he only finds sadness in his eyes.
Harry kisses him on his forehead, he takes a breath.
"And then?" he asks, voice barely there.
"And then he lost me."
"I don't wanna see you anymore."
Louis hears himself say it and in that moment he realizes he can't take it back.
So he decides he might as well say it once more. Whatever.
"I don't wanna see you anymore, Harry."
It's Wednesday afternoon and Harry is still chewing his fries, still trying to understand what's going on.
He wipes his hands on his jeans, he shifts on the bed, crossing his legs.
He smiles, at first.
It's not one of his blinding smiles, those that make Louis grab his face with both hands and kiss him.
It's a bad smile, hard to look at. It's full of confusion and anxiety.
Then he stops smiling, he frowns.
"Are you serious?" he blurts out, nervously running a hand through his hair.
Louis nods.
"I am." he says.
Harry opens his mouth to say something, he closes it, he opens it again.
"I've been seeing you for over six months and this is how you're gonna break up with me? Really?"
Now Harry looks angry, he looks hurt.
Louis should have done this before, but it's a good thing that at least he's doing it now.
It's time to put a stop to it.
"I'm not as invested as you are. We should stop seeing each other before someone gets hurt." Louis tells him, forcing himself to look at his face.
It's hard, but he has to.
Harry looks disappointed, he looks furious.
"Someone?! Like I was gonna hurt you?"
Louis tries to ignore how hard his heart is beating inside his chest, but it's hard.
Harry rubs a hand over his face then he looks at Louis again, he hesitates a moment.
"Lou. I'm never gonna hurt you like that. What happened with Greg...I'm not gonna hurt you that way."
"But I am." Louis immediately replies, withdrawing his hand before Harry can touch it. "I made up my mind Harry, just let it go."
Louis is going to let it go. He's going to let Harry go.
It's hard, but he has to.
Before someone gets hurt.
Harry shakes his head, he looks up at the ceiling for a while.
Louis tries to ignore the tears forming in his eyes.
"Okay, listen." Harry tells him, breathing faster. "We can slow down a bit. I'll give you some space, yeah? Wanna see me less often?"
Louis smiles.
It's not a nice smile.
It's bitter and it's fake.
"No, Harry. I don't want to see you anymore." Louis tells him.
He tries to convince himself he really means it.
It'll be easier that way.
He barely registers what he's done the first few days. He just goes on with his life: he eats, he works, he goes to the pub with Niall, he sleeps. He starts over.
A week goes by and still nothing.
It dawns on him Wednesday afternoon.
Liam and Niall are working, Zayn is picking up his sister from piano practice, the house is empty and Harry is not there.
That's when the crying starts.
Liam comes home first.
He finds him curled up on the couch, crying his eyes out and holding a cushion. He must look like a child who's just had a nightmare.
Liam sighs, he lays his tie on the living room table and he sits down next to him, gently patting his back.
"So you broke up with him?"
Louis' eyes snap open. He forces himself to stop crying for a minute, just so he can sit down as look at Liam.
"You knew?" he asks him, and it comes out all broken and whiny, but Liam still gets it.
"So did Zayn. Do you actually consider yourself so much smarter than us?"
Louis pouts, he tries to catch his breath.
He's not smart, he's not smart at all.
"I'm so stupid." he says. Then he starts sobbing again and Liam leaves him alone for a while.
When Niall is back he doesn't even ask him what happened.
He gives him a blanket, a tissue, a kiss and he goes straight to bed.
Louis had nothing to say, anyway.
He manages to go back to acting like a normal human being in the morning.
He gets up from the couch and he curses, 'cause his back is killing him, then he goes into the kitchen to make tea.
He only cries a little bit, while eating his toast, and he has a shower when he's done.
He gets dressed, because he doesn't feel very productive when he's still wearing his pajamas, and he starts working.
His morning goes by that way, between translations of a French tour operator catalogue and way too many cigarettes he steals from Zayn's not so secret stash.
He skips lunch and he has a nap instead and when he wakes up he's relieved 'cause he hasn't had any dreams about Harry.
Then he cries, because he starts thinking about Harry again.
He's almost sure he feels this bad because of the way Harry looked at him when Louis told him those things, because of the way he let him down.
Also because of what Harry told him, right before leaving.
That harsh comment, about Louis making other people go through his same pain and how it wouldn't help making him feel better.
That other thing too, about Louis having to be sure about it, because Harry wouldn't take him back if he changed his mind the next day.
He never thought Harry could get that mad.
That's probably why Louis feels this guilty.
That sounds right.
Right?
Right.
Zayn is mad at him.
He doesn't talk to him but Louis knows he's pissed off.
And he's also quite confident this is not about him stealing his cigarettes.
He thinks about the way Harry pouts while he's reading something.
He thinks about the way Harry laughs when he gets embarrassed.
He thinks about the way Harry breathes when he's sleeping.
He thinks about how much Harry must hate him, now that he broke his heart.
Zayn finally talks to him the following day.
Louis is sitting on the couch and his expression is way too lost for Zayn to assume he is in any condition to talk.
Because, surprise, Louis is thinking about Harry again.
About the way Harry freaks out when Louis tickles him.
"Now I have to go to his place, Louis. That means I move more, I sleep less and I can't insult you enough."
Louis lowers his head.
Not this, not now.
"Six months ago I asked you not to do this. But you didn't listen and I even pretended you weren't fucking him, for the sake of our friendship."
Louis can't deal with this now.
"But I guess your sex life and your little schemes come before my job and my life in general. Why are you crying now? You weren't expecting me to just shut up about it, were you? Louis?"
Zayn comes closer and if he hits him, so be it.
Louis can't defend himself right now.
"Lou." Zayn whispers, crouching down to see his face. "Jesus."
Louis wipes his eyes, he wonders why Zayn looks so shocked all of a sudden.
"What?" he croaks out.
That's when Zayn smiles at him.
"Hey." he says, squeezing his shoulder. "I had no idea you were in love with him."
Oh.
Louis didn't either.
"You know what?" Louis says, shoving a bunch of chips into his mouth.
Zayn raises his eyebrows, waiting for him to continue.
"Fuck it." Louis decides, shrugging a shoulder.
Niall lets out an exhausted sigh, like he was hoping for him to say something different.
"You've been saying that for a week, Louis." Liam points out. "And it's not working."
Fucking Liam Payne and his damn attention to detail.
"He hasn't called me once. Not once." Louis adds.
Niall throws an orange at him.
"You fucking left him!" he reminds him.
Well, that's true.
But Harry should have called him all the same.
He said he loves him right?
Where's all this love he was talking about, then.
"If he really wanted me he would look for me. He would try to get back together." Louis rambles, walking back and forth across the kitchen. "He would at least give it a shot, don't you think?"
He stops in the middle of the room.
His three roommates are still sitting, still having dinner, still staring at him.
Louis feels like he's missing something.
Liam drops his fork on the table, he rolls his eyes so hard Louis feels like the dumbest fuck on the planet.
What is he missing?
Liam throws his hands in the air, before he starts speaking.
"Why don't you look for him?! If you really wanted him, you would at least give it a shot. Don't you think?"
Oh. That.
Louis should do that. Maybe. Probably.
"So." Zayn says, lighting a cigarette. "How about I give you his address and you go talk to him?"
That.
Louis should definitely do that.
He was hoping Harry would look just as bad as him.
He would have been okay with dirty hair or swollen eyes or even a stained T-shirt.
But no, not at all.
Harry looks great.
He looks relaxed, rested and so delicious Louis wants to bite him.
"Hi." he says.
Harry leans on the door frame, crossing his arms.
"Hi." he replies.
Louis wishes he would smile a bit.
"Are you busy?" Louis asks, rubbing his hands together. Not 'cause he's cold, just 'cause he feels pathetic.
Harry arches an eyebrow.
"It's one in the morning." he points out. "What could I possibly be busy with at one in the morning, Louis?"
"So can I come in?" Louis shoots back, shifting on his feet.
Harry looks at him for a long moment, a terrible moment that Louis spends feeling small and stupid and like this was a bad idea.
Then Harry moves aside, letting Louis inside his house.
Harry's house is smaller than the apartment where Louis lives.
It has a cute little kitchen, a bathroom, a living room and one bedroom.
Harry's bed is bigger than Louis'.
Louis finds out about five minutes after he enters his house, after Harry lets him ramble about what a fuck up he is, and how scary this feels and how good Harry looks.
"Why do you look so good? I mean, look at me. I'm a fucking mess! Why aren't you a mess, Harry? Didn't you cry at least a little bit?"
Harry lets him go on and on and Louis keeps talking out of his ass, he can't stop, can't let Harry say anything before he makes sure he listened to what he has to say first.
Louis thought he had a lot to tell him, but it all sounds like an endless list of stupid shit now.
He hasn't even taken off his jacket and Harry is staring at him, still keeping a straight face, still making Louis' stomach twist with apprehension.
"Didn't you?" Louis insists. "Didn't you suffer at all?!"
Harry steps closer to him and Louis freezes.
When he gets in front of him Louis holds his breath.
"No." Harry tells him. "I didn't."
Louis wants to start crying again.
But he can't. Not here.
He's basically told him he's dying already, he can't cry right before his eyes.
He did what he had to do.
He gave it a shot.
Now he needs to let it go, to really let it go.
He starts rushing towards the door before Harry can hurt him any more than he already has, tears stinging in the corners of his eyes.
Harry grabs his arm and Louis immediately tries to get out of his grip, because fuck him, fuck all of this, fuck the universe for giving him Harry Styles.
Harry roughly pulls him back then, he grabs his other arm, making him turn around.
And there you go.
Louis is crying. He's pretty sure Harry noticed.
He still fights though, he kicks and he shouts and he just needs Harry to let him run away.
"Lou." Harry says, pulling him even closer.
"Let me go!" Louis yells, not giving a fuck if his face is covered with tears, if his voice is broken and his hands are shaking. He just wants to get away from him.
"Lou." Harry repeats, grabbing his face with both hands.
Louis finally looks at him, and he's blurry, but he's there and why is he so beautiful.
"I didn't cry," Harry tells him, smiling this time. "Because I knew you'd come back to me."
Harry's bed is bigger than Louis' and it's definitely more comfortable and less squeaky.
At first Louis forgets he can be as loud as he likes.
Harry has two of his wonderful, long fingers inside of him and Louis focuses on taking small breaths, on keeping his mouth shut.
Harry laughs at him.
"I have no rommates, remember?"
So Louis starts moaning.
Harry takes his sweet time opening him up, kissing him, touching his body.
Louis loves every second of it just as much as he hates having to wait before Harry puts it inside him.
Harry knows, that's why he's smiling when he adds a third finger.
"You made me wait." he says, leaving a quick kiss on his lips. "Now I get to make you wait."
"Do you want me to start crying again?" Louis pants, planting his feet on the mattress.
Harry laughs.
"No. I only want you to cry from how good you feel." He whispers against his lips.
Louis fucking missed this.
"Fuck me. I'll cry like a baby once you give me-"
He stops midsentence because Harry abrubtly pulls his fingers out, he spreads his legs so he can get between them.
Louis is shaking.
"Fuck me." He says, even as Harry presses the tip of his cock against his opening. "Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me."
Harry pushes all the way inside and Louis positively screams.
He only rocks his hips at first, making space inside of him, and Louis already feels like bursting into flames.
It's so intense he feels the need to hide his face from Harry, but he still needs so much more, he needs all he has to give, so he sinks his teeth into his shoulder and "Fuck me." he begs.
And Harry does fuck him.
Louis missed him so much.
"Don't even think about falling asleep." Louis orders, climbing on his lap.
Harry is sweaty and tired and he's still the most beautiful thing Louis has ever seen, but he can't fall asleep before he fucks him a dozen times.
"Just give me a minute." He replies, placing both hands on Louis' hips. "Then I'll wreck you, I promise."
Only Harry Styles can say that and make it sound like a sweet thing.
Louis sucks on his bottom lip.
"Tell me the truth." he tells him. "You really didn't cry at all?"
Harry slips his tongue inside his mouth, he grabs his wrists and Louis already knows he's going to end up underneath him.
Harry flips them, he pins him to the bed with no effort and Louis won't even waste time pretending he can fight him.
He looks up at him, smiling.
"Tell me the truth." he repeats.
Harry frowns, but he's smiling too.
Then he kisses him again and when he pulls back Louis laughs at him.
"Okay, yes." Harry tells him, rolling his eyes. "But just a little bit. Not nearly as much as you did."
"Of course." Louis comments, closing his arms around his neck. "Because you were sure I'd come back. But are you sure I won't dump you again tomorrow morning?"
Harry doesn't look very impressed. He doesn't look concerned at all.
But he shouldn't get too confident. Louis never said this was anything serious.
They move in together the following week.