Chapter Text
Changkyun twirled his ice americano, his head propped on the other hand, staring silently onto the table. Mingyu was on queue, about to order a red velvet cheesecake that Changkyun randomly picked. The taller was so eager to take him out and he even begged to let him pay for their date. Changkyun sighed, it wasn't supposed to happen again. He wasn't supposed to have another fling. But Changkyun had a bad disease called "yes man". He could not reject anyone.
His mind wandered to when he had a serious conversation with Jooheon. Although he could confidently say that Hyungwon was the closest to him in their group of friends, but the matter that had been weighing him down was about the older and he did not have anyone to turn to except Jooheon. Well, that isn't true. He could easily go to Kihyun, Hoseok or Minhyuk, or even Hyunwoo, but knowing the first three are best friends with Hyungwon way more before him, he deemed it was safer to talk to Jooheon who knew the others just one and half years longer than him. He reasoned, it would be more objective.
But alas, Jooheon still frowned at Changkyun's behavior.
"I know it's shit, and wrong. But you know I can't say no..."
Changkyun trailed off, voice unclear as his mouth was covered by his palms. Jooheon kept staring for another seconds before he finally tapped Changkyun's shoulder and sighed, disagreement still painfully apparent on his face.
"Kyun, don't play with peoples' feelings." Jooheon said ever so gently, his hand caressing the younger's back. "But most importantly, don't play with your own feeling. You should be true about it, or you'd not only hurt yourself, but you'd hurt others too."
Changkyun pondered on what the older said, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth in anxious manner. He didn't know why he complicate things himself. Was he not capable of loving others like normal people do?
"Kyun, I can hear you thinking." Jooheon sighed, holds both of the younger's shoulders and shifted him so the younger could face him. Changkyun took his time to look at Jooheon and he internally winced at the troubled look Changkyun was casting.
"Look, you know your heart the best. You told me you've been developing feelings to Hyungwon hyung before you even dated Youngjae. The feelings haven't faded, right? You said you keep thinking of him even when you were with Youngjae. You've been so careful with Hyungwon hyung for weird reasons. It must mean something, Kyun. So please, for the sake of your sanity, listen to your heart."
"Does the americano taste bad, Kyun-ah?"
Mingyu appeared in front of his vision suddenly, placing two plates of different cakes on the table. He gently placed the red velvet cheesecake in front of Changkyun, look of concern on his face.
"Ah.. no it's fine."
Changkyun flashed a small smile, sipping on his americano. He watched Mingyu smiling back at him before he took his chocolate cake and dig in. The latter looked bright, fresh, but also calm. Changkyun couldn't lie that Mingyu was extremely attractive. He has matured jaws and high nose, tall and his overall appearance just scream perfect. Not to mention that he's such a gentleman yet a fun companion too. But his mind still wandered to Hyungwon. Hyungwon who had always been there, Hyungwon who could make him feel everything and nothing at once, Hyungwon who he liked.
He suddenly remembered the poem he just read before he left Hyungwon's place. That one very sad poem. He was sure Hyungwon wrote it for someone, someone he probably really liked since the words were raw, not like Hyungwon's other cliche poems. An uneasy feeling suddenly crept inside his heart, did Hyungwon have a crush that he didn't know?
"Kyun, want to watch movie after this?"
Mingyu shook him out of his trance once again. Changkyun raised an eyebrow, head tilting as he focused his attention back to the guy in front of him. "Movie?"
"Yeah, there's this new avenger movie. It's a hit and I really want to watch it with you. I-if you want, of course."
Changkyun felt his heart constricted by Mingyu's stuttering. He could feel Mingyu's whipped for him. He smiled then, yet again nodding his head, gave in to someone else's request.
"Sure. Let's watch it."
What am I supposed to do, Hyungwon?
Weeks passed and Changkyun was still hanging around Mingyu. His group of friends were already tired of asking the youngest whether he and Mingyu were a thing and Changkyun always said that they weren't. But everybody could see how Mingyu took care of Changkyun and vice versa. The duo was always seen together between classes or late in the afternoon when both of them were done with class. Mingyu and Changkyun studied different majors, but Mingyu always tried to match his schedule with Changkyun's since the latter's timetable was always almost packed; just so he could be with Changkyun.
It all seemed sweet and flowery. For Mingyu and even for Changkyun, perhaps, but not for Hyungwon.
Changkyun still came to his house almost everyday, still texting him until late at night, still latching onto him when they're with their group of friends, raising suspicions from the others. Hyungwon never really reacted to his friends' watching eyes and he never stopped Changkyun's advances either.
It was just flowing without destination. And it made Hyungwon really frustrated.
"I think you should talk to him, Won."
Kihyun commented one day while all of them had lunch together. The subject of their conversation was playing with Jooheon on the line to their favorite giant takoyaki that just opened in their campus two weeks ago. Hyungwon wanted to just ignore Kihyun's comment but Minhyuk and Hoseok were quick to jump on the wagon. Dammit, why am I friends with them?
"You're painfully obvious, Wonnie. And Changkyun is annoyingly dense. If he's not our maknae, I would have punched him for playing with your heart like that." Minhyuk chirped immediately.
Right. Changkyun had been playing with his heart all this time. Kihyun and Minhyuk already heard what had been going on between him, Changkyun and Mingyu when he came back from one of his AP class, looking like a living corpse. The three bestfriends went out to Hyungwon's favorite japanese restaurant so the latter could spill the beans.
Turned out the bean was more bitter than what Kihyun and MInhyuk thought.
[kkung<3. 11:45pm] I... I don't know, Hyungwon. I'm confused.
Changkyun confessed to him earlier that day, almost sent Hyungwon to hospital from heart attack. Hyungwon thanked the gods above many times that he was already home when Changkyun suddenly sent him a long message, saying he had been crushing on Hyungwon for a long time. Hyungwon had been to cloud nine and he almost immediately claimed the younger before he remembered Mingyu. Before he could properly respond to the younger's confession, he taller of the two immediately and carefully asked about the other guy's presence in their life. Yet what he received as answer wasn't exactly what he was expecting. It made his heart cracked even more.
[me. 11:50pm] What do you mean you don't know?
[kkung<3. 11:52pm] I don't know what to do with Mingyu... I don't have heart to just leave..
Hyungwon stared at his screen a second too long, a deep frown apparent on his forehead. What's Changkyun playing again this time?
[kkung<3. 11:53pm] I feel bad.. for Mingyu. But.. I really like you. I don't know what to do...
[me. 11:55pm] Look, Kyun, it's your heart and I don't want to force anything. First of all, thank you for liking me. But I can't give you my answer if you aren't sure if you like me or not. How do you feel towards Mingyu? How do you feel towards me? You have to figure it out.
[kkung<3. 11:55pm] I know.. I'm sorry. I must have hurt you, right.. Ugh, I'm stupid. I'm sorry..
The lack of closure could only make Hyungwon sigh. It was a situation where he couldn't do anything and he couldn't even describe his emotions particularly because he couldn't, and not supposed to feel those emotions. He hated this kind of situation the most, where he was stuck in between of every parallels and he wasn't allowed to go anywhere before the other person took the next step.
[me. 12:00am] It's fine. Just.. sort your feelings. If you have your answer, you can come back to me.
Call me selfish, but I really wish you'd pick me, kyun-ah. Please. Look at me.
It didn't happen overnight, of course. After their late night talk, Changkyun still hung out with Mingyu and be as lovey dovey as they usually were. He still acted the same to Hyungwon but since it was not an uncommon sight, no one bat eyelashes for the little things Changkyun and Hyungwon did. It was always Changkyun and Mingyu this, Changkyun and Mingyu that. At some point, there were some people who shipped Changkyun and Mingyu and told them to date because of cute they were for each other.
Hyungwon could only swallow in bitterness, once again.
"Hey we got the takoyaki!!" Jooheon exclaimed excitedly, placing ten big takoyaki on their table to be shared between seven of them. Hyungwon watched as Changkyun struggled with the ice tea all of them ordered with both of his hands, lips pouting slightly from the effort of bringing all seven bottles at once. Hyungwon smiled slightly at the sight, the younger really looked adorable.
"Let me help."
Changkyun rounded his eyes and looked up to find Hyungwon already in front of him, both his long arms already busy taking half of the bottles from the younger's arms. The younger blinked cutely, apparently surprised by the older's sudden aid. But his confusion didn't last long and he beamed brightly at Hyungwon, thanking the older with his fake cutesy voice. Hyungwon's heart stuttered at that. Stop being whipped for someone who doesn't like you, you stupid.
Kihyun raised an eyebrow at the pair, whispering to Minhyuk about what he witnessed and Minhyuk smirked. The overgrown puppy had the audacity to smirk at Hyungwon's misery. That bitch.
Hyungwon only rolled his eyes and casually brought the remaining bottles to their table, sitting in front of the apple of his eyes.
Come to me, kyun-ah. Please. I'm losing hope.
"I've decided."
Changkyun declared one afternoon when Hyungwon was busy with his part time job and Jooheon had nothing better to do than to watch we bear bears. The older raised an eyebrow at him, face curious.
"I've decided that I like Hyungwon and I want to be with him."
This piqued Jooheon's interest and he pressed pause on his laptop, his attention full on the younger. He signaled the younger to keep going and Changkyun took a seat in front of the older, face still serious.
"I did some thinking. I came to many posibilities and it really drives me crazy. But... but I don't want to lose Hyungwon."
The younger of the two mumbled the last part softly, as if afraid if he said it out loud it would be true. Jooheon smiled, delighted that his bestfriend finally came to his sense. The older put his laptop off his lap and scooted closer to his younger friend, sling an arm around the younger's shoulder and pulled him closer to his embrace before patting the younger's shoulder gently.
"I'm glad you finally get back to your senses, kyun-ah. I have began thinking you're an asshole."
Jooheon grinned as Changkyun pouted and punched the other's chest quiet hard. The slightly taller faked a hurt mimic as he rubbed his not so hurting chest that only made Changkyun pouting even more. Jooheon laughed then, messing the younger's hair.
"But I still don't know how to tell Mingyu..."
The dejected face was back and Jooheon felt his heart break at his bestfriend's sad face. He shifted their position and held the younger's shoulders, once again facing the other for firm wisdom.
"Kyun, you have to tell Mingyu, everything. All the honesty. Don't sugarcoat it. Mingyu has to know how you really feel. Don't hurt him and Hyungwon anymore."
The younger nodded. He knew he shouldn't hurt any of them even more. Especially Hyungwon, who from the last talk they had, he assumed also having the same feeling as him. Despite the circumstances, Changkyun couldn't help but feeling happy that his feeling was reciprocated.
I'm coming, Hyungwon. Please wait for me. Please accept me.
A month later
[WHO LET THE DOGS OUT, WOOF WOOF?!]
[minminmin!! 1:30pm] GUYS?? HELLO?? IT'S LUNCH TIME?? WHERE ARE YOU GUYS???
[kihamji. 1:30pm] we are coming, stop being loud
[minminmin!! 1:31pm] I'M HUNGRY
[kihamji. 1:31pm] hoseok is not with you?
[minminmin!! 1:32pm] he is and he'S ALREADY WOLFING DOWN HIS FOOD
[hyunuwu. 1:34pm] why is my name still hyunuwu whatever is it
[i'mthewoof. 1:34pm] cause you're uwu nunu hyung uwu uwu
[me. 1:35pm] changkyun, i'm outside your class, let's go?
[i'mthewoof. 1:35pm] wait hyung!!!!! onE MORE SENTENCE
[honeybee. 1:36pm] i'm with minhyuk hyung and hoseok hyung please help
Hyungwon laughed at the chaos in their group chat. He never admitted it out loud, but his group of friends were the best kind of friends he could ask for. He smiled as Minhyuk kept demanding to know their whereabouts whereas Kihyun kept nagging Minhyuk to stop being noisy. Sometimes he wondered how he ended up in such chaotic group, knowing he wasn't as chatty outside of his classes. But nonetheless, he liked the dynamic they had.
"What are you smiling about? You're not cheating on me, aren't you?!"
Changkyun's dramatic voice reverberated through his ears and he rolled his eyes at the younger's antique. He abruptly wrapped his arms around the younger's waist instead, pulling the younger closer and leaned down, pressing deep and lingering kiss on the younger's lips. He chuckled when bright pink dusted the younger's cheeks, huffs of annoyance from the younger followed as the younger stomped away from him, walking to the cafetaria. Hyungwon only laughed and quickly caught up with the younger, took the younger's hand and intertwined their fingers.
"I love you too, boyfriend."