Chapter Text
“Dream?!”
He hesitantly opens his eyes, meeting the blue sky and feeling the soft grass beneath his fingers. Where is he?
He turns his head slightly to the left, seeing a female face looking down on him in shock. Who is she? Why does she have that expression on her face?
“W-Who are you?” He asks and coughs right after. His voice sounds so raw and raspy and his throat feels itchy. Her face contorts to a confused one. “You don’t know who I am?
“Am I supposed to?” She puts on a gentle smile before shaking her head ‘no’. “I guess not, I’m Kristin.” The name seems to be stored in the very back of his mind but he can’t remember. Kristin... He heard it before, that’s for sure. However, there’s a more important question on the tip of his tongue and he’s hesitant to ask it. But he does it anyway. He turns his head back forwards (upwards?), not being able to look into her eyes when he brings it up, and bites his lip anxiously.
“Did- Did I die?” The second the last word is out, tears well up in his eyes, even though he didn’t even get an answer yet. The silence is deafening and it hurts so much more than it should. Please, he wants to say but doesn’t dare, please, just tell me the truth.
“You did.” And a sob tears through his throat before the tears fall. He doesn’t know why he had his hopes up in the first place. He doesn’t understand why he hoped that someone would come save him from the blistering cold, although he accepted, no, embraced Death. But a part of him wished that someone would have noticed, would have cared, but apparently no one did.
He feels himself getting lifted up and pulled into a hug, it is surprisingly warm and soft and he leans in immediately, crying into the fabric the woman is wearing. The embrace reminds him of the hug that Phil gave him the day before (if it even had been a day since his death).
“You aren’t supposed to be here.” Kristin whispers quietly and Dream’s breath hitches dangerously. He immediately tries to struggle free and pushes himself as far away as possible. He isn’t supposed to be here. He’s not welcomed here. He’s too cruel to stay at such a peaceful place like this one. He should have gone to hell. Not even this place wants him. “I-I’m sorry, ‘m sorry, I promise I won’t do anything. I- I’ll go far away, I won’t bother anyone, I promise-” He apologizes over and over again, while the tears keep going.
“Oh, you poor child.” The female voice spoke again, so soft and so caring and Dream wants to think that it’s for him but how could it be? No one would dare being nice to a monster like him. A hand comes up to wipe away the liquid spilling from his eyes before cupping his cheek gently. He hates it. He hates how he nuzzles right into it, how starved he is for any kind of affection, any kind of touch that resembles care. He hates how he doesn’t care that it’s a stranger who’s doing it. How pathetic he has become, huh?
“I’m sorry, I should have worded it better.” She says so tenderly that Dream could feel his heart squeeze painfully in his chest. “H-Huh?” He voices unsure, teary eyes glancing back up.
“I didn’t mean it the way you thought I did. What I meant was...” She hesitates for a second and Dream wonders why. “that you aren’t supposed to be dead yet.”
A beat of silence follows.
“I- I don’t understand.” He admits confused. He isn’t supposed to be dead yet? Does that mean that he should live? That someone should have come look for him and by chance be his savior? Don’t be dumb, Dream. He tells himself. His death was meant to be unlike many other incidents. Monsters. They exist to be hunted and killed and at the end that’s what happened to him, too. Deserved. He deserves this.
“Shh, do not spill any more tears, little one.” That pulls him out of his thoughts and he opens his eyes again -not that he can remember that he closed them in the first place- staring into gentle brown orbs. The tears that are flowing freely are being wiped away and he can’t help but scold himself for being such a nuisance, crying so much and bothering this nice lady.
“I go and visit your server from time to time” She explains, “to look for Phil and my children.”
He gasps.
“Do you remember now?” Kristin asks with a chuckle, causing him to avert his gaze in embarrassment. How could he forget? Of course, Kristin, the woman who Phil is swooning over and can’t keep his mouth shut about. Kristin, the Goddess Of Death and the wife of the immortal avian hybrid. “I also visited after you got out of prison” he whimpers pathetically, the mention of the inescapable building is enough to scare him, enough to feel his entire body tremble to the very core. Gentle fingers carding through his air and calming murmurs of reassurance keep him grounded.
“They treated you well, Phil and Techno I mean. Whenever I went to visit you guys, Phil would tell me how you were doing and whenever he told me that you were doing better than before, I was so happy that I can’t even put it into words.”
Why? He wants to ask. Why would you be happy when the person who tore your family apart one by one was recovering? Shouldn’t you be angry? Upset? Revenge-seeking?
“You were supposed to grow old with both of them, to your 80s maybe even 90s but... now you’re here, barely 22” she heaves a heavy sigh, “and that’s not even half of what is supposed to be. So, Dream, what happened?”
“Froze... outside.” He answers simply but shakily.
“Outside? I don’t think Phil and Techno would just let you go outside like this.” She points out.
“Ran away.” Another simple reply.
“Why?”
And god, Dream wants to laugh and cry at the same time. What was he supposed to say? Oh, your youngest son came to apologize and Techno forgave him despite everything they went through? And that’s why I couldn’t stay any longer because I’m not worth keeping? What if Kristin agreed as well? What if she said that Tommy is worth saving, that Tommy is everything that he isn’t? He can’t, he can’t say that. Kristin will leave him too. He doesn’t want to be alone. He is scared.
“It’s okay, you don’t need to tell me.” And he lets out a breath that he was involuntarily holding in. He wants to apologize but no matter how hard he tries, no sound leaves his mouth. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. He tries and he fails. It’s like a cycle, a cycle that he couldn’t escape. Not even for his mistakes he can stand up. How pathetic... Was it surprising, though? Absolutely, not. Because they all know, a monster like him can’t do anything right.
“Oh, look!” The goddess exclaims and gently nudges him to turn around. When he did, he spots a cat, grey on the back and white on the belly, grey on top of the head and white around the snout area. He sucks in a breath as he realizes who this is. New tears form in the corner of his eyes and he genuinely wonders how his body is still able to produce more of this salty liquid.
“Meow!” The cat seems to greet before it starts running towards them. Dream immediately lets himself fall to the ground and the cat jumps on his lap, nuzzling its head into his chest while it starts to purr happily. “Hope.” He cries out and wraps his arms around the kitten. Oh, how much he missed her.
“Oh, is she your cat?” Kristin asks from behind and he gives a nod in response. “She’s a nice kitten. The animals here usually don’t pay the humans any mind and prefer to stay further away from them but Hope, that was her name, right? Hope always came to me for cuddles and when I think about it, she always came after I got back from visiting Phil. She must have smelled your scent on me.” She giggles, whilst Dream keeps crying.
But for the first time, those tears aren’t filled with sadness and hurt, they are filled with joy and relief.
“Then that horse must be yours as well, right?”
He snaps his eyes open immediately. There they are, Spirit, his Spirit, a beautiful white horse that he hasn’t seen in so long. He scoops Hope into his arms and stands up, stumbling over his feet as he tries to reach Spirit. They neigh in delight the moment Dream buries his face in their mane.
“I don’t give a fuck about Spirit!”
A lie. One of many lies he has told during his life. “I’m sorry.” He murmurs and the horse nudges his shoulder as if they are trying to tell him that it’s okay. Pets really are so much nicer than humans could ever be.
Or maybe it’s because animals don’t understand that he’s a monster, don’t understand how cruel he is.
“Welcome to the Realm Of Death, Dream.” The Goddess of Death speaks with a smile as she watches the scene unfold in front of her.