Chapter Text
Being quiet during sex never seems possible, even as tired as Eddie is. There’s just always too much pent up inside of him. Beneath his aching legs, the old mattress squeaks with each bounce, and Eddie is becoming too distracted. Likely sensing it by the look on Eddie’s face, Richie sits up, placing his hand on Eddie’s sweaty thigh.
“You want me to help out, baby?”
“No, no, no, you’ve had a long day.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Richie assures him, wrapping an arm around Eddie’s waist to slow him down some more. “You’re exhausted from packing. I can see your brain wandering. Let me finish up.”
Eddie lets out a sigh of relief, giving in to Richie’s offer. “Just promise you won’t be gentle with me.”
Richie grins back, grabbing Eddie by the throat to hold him up inches above Richie’s hips. “Not a problem, darlin’. Just hang tight.”
The squeeze of Richie’s fingers to the side of Eddie’s neck immediately sends his pulse pounding. His ears ring as his head starts to get pleasantly foggy. His muscles go limp, relaxing in the safety of Richie’s grip. When Richie starts thrusting his hips up, tingles start spreading throughout his body, heat building in his abdomen, static-like pleasure humming in his brain. They don’t break eye contact, and he’s staring at the intense blue of Richie’s eyes when he finally comes.
The hand on his neck releases, and Eddie falls forward into Richie’s chest, huffing breathy laughs into Richie’s neck as Richie chases his orgasm and holds onto Eddie tight. Eddie makes sure to lace his fingers through Richie’s hair. He tugs the curls when he senses Richie about to come, remembering how much more intense it feels for Richie when Eddie does this.
“Fuck,” Richie pants, rubbing between Eddie’s shoulder blades. “I hope we pissed off the neighbors one last time.”
“Have I been that loud?” Eddie chuckles, leaning back in Richie’s lap. He’s dizzy, skin still tingly, the blood rushing back through his veins. It feels like a hundred tiny orgasms around his body, still frying out his brain of most coherent thought. He’s staring past Richie’s shoulder when Richie’s fingers gently take his chin.
“Hey, are you with me, sweetheart? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m here,” Eddie assures him, smiling dopily back at Richie’s face. He lets Richie tilt his head to the side, planting soft, delicate kisses along all of his hickeys and bruises – all of which Eddie happily enjoyed. Still, he doesn’t mind the small, apologetic touch of Richie’s lips during their aftercare.
Most times, Eddie really is okay. On occasion, after they’ve fucked or fooled around, his mind will drag him back to unpleasant memories. When that does happen, Richie makes sure Eddie doesn’t get too lost, bringing him back to their happy present. In rare instances, sometimes Eddie needs to still process something and let his brain go through the motions of it. As difficult as it surely is, Richie gives Eddie all the time he can. Eddie offers as much of himself back to Richie in return whenever he gets lost, too. Sometimes it’s Eddie taking care of him, and that in itself serves to keep Eddie in the present.
It’s weird, finding out how much he likes being manhandled and roughed up. Sometimes it feels wrong, that he should feel dirty for wanting Richie to treat him like that. Or like he’s putting Richie in an uncomfortable place by having Eddie ask for it. Even after his therapist assured him about a dozen times that it was normal, it was hard to shake. Regardless of whether Eddie was influenced by his trauma or if this was just how he is, it doesn’t and shouldn’t matter. What does matter is that he’s doing what he wants, with who he wants to do it with, and he never has to worry about Richie’s intentions. They only want the best for each other, to make the other happy.
He has to remind Richie of that sometimes. There’s a guilt he can sense in Richie’s unspoken words, occasionally present in his aftercare. Eddie’s gotten better and reciprocating, even if it’s in smaller affections. It’s not even often they have sex like this, most times simply enjoying the thrill of touch from their hands or mouths. So they’ve learned to treat these nights like a special occasion; drawing baths to share, prepping favorite treats, keeping a fresh blanket in the dryer to curl up in together.
Today was a long enough day as it is, but Richie still managed to find time to bake brownies for the last time in their kitchen. Eddie sets down his glass of milk, licking some chocolate off of his thumb before settling back on Richie’s bare chest.
“It’s going to be so weird going back,” Eddie says, gently playing with Richie’s hair.
“It won't be the same as it was with your mom. Stan says the apartment is super queer friendly. There’s an old couple of gays across from him that invite them over for chess and tea.”
“Is that a future for me to look forward to?” Eddie giggles, lifting himself up to look at Richie’s face again. “I can’t see you sitting still enough to play anything without button smashing and vibrant colors.”
“I’m chock full of surprises, Eddie my love.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I’ve got a lifetime to find them,” Eddie beams. “I can’t wait to see you in Manhattan. You’re gonna be in your element. Crowded bars of drunk weirdos for you to make laugh.”
“Don’t forget the sewer turtles.”
“Sewer turtles?”
“Yeah, you know. Michelangelo, Raphael…”
“Oh my god. You’re ridiculous.”
Richie squeezes Eddie around the waist, flipping them over to pin Eddie to the mattress while diving in for a kiss. Eddie tries to kiss Richie back, still giggling a bit madly.
“You are the cutest thing on two legs, you know that?” Richie murmurs, settling on kissing Eddie’s jaw when he can’t seem to stop laughing beneath Richie’s weight.
“As opposed to creatures with how many legs?” Eddie huffs.
“It’s not fair to make me choose between you and Garbage…”
“I guess that’s true,” Eddie sighs affectionately. He looks over to the corner of the room at their three-legged mutt taking a nap in her bed. She had settled in quite well since Richie found her in the trash bin eight months ago, affectionately referring to her as Garbage, Garb, Garby-cakes, Garbohydrates, Garbara Streisand, etc. “What are you doing with me tonight, anyway?”
“Oooooh, no, you can’t trick me that easily.”
“Why does it have to be a secret?” Eddie whines.
“Because I love you and I love that cute little face you make when you’re surprised.”
Eddie grumbles back in response, mostly just annoyed that they have to go outside in the bitter cold.
All of their friends graduated quite a bit ago. When Richie’s father got sick, Richie took a break from school so his mother wouldn’t have to leave work and lose both their incomes. He still worked part-time and spent his free days with Wentworth either at home, chemotherapy, or his many doctor’s appointments. After the cancer finally passed, Richie promised Maggie he’d finish his last classes at school so he could graduate before moving to New York with Eddie.
Unfortunately for Eddie, he finished in December, which meant spending the entire cold month of January packing and getting ready to move once the holidays were over.
“This honestly beats having to move in the summer heat,” Richie reasons, pulling on his jeans.
“I don’t know about that. Have you tried moving heavy boxes when your fingers were cold and stiff? Everything hurts more when it’s cold.”
“Well, it won’t be as drastic once we’re in Manhattan,” Richie smiles, waiting for Eddie to free his head out of his sweater so he can kiss Eddie on the nose. “No bitter, Maine wilderness cold. Just a beautiful Manhattan skyline, festive winter decorations–”
“Disgusting mud slush on the sidewalks, waiting for taxis and subway trains on the freezing platforms–”
“Do you want to move somewhere else?” Richie laughs.
“No, no, no! This is going to be great! I mean, the radio station sounds like it’ll be a fun place for you to work while you’re looking for an agent.”
“I sure hope so. I’m gonna have to come up with a cool DJ name for myself.”
“Trashmouth sounds pretty perfect to me.”
“Naw, like… Oh. What about, ‘Trashmouth Records?’ Huh? Oh, come on!” he huffs when Eddie just stares at him. “That’s pretty dope! Plays on the raunchy comedy and the radio persona.”
“Whatever makes you happy, my love,” Eddie shrugs, just smiling up at him.
“Sure, sure. Let’s walk the monster before we get going.”
It’s difficult enough for Garbage to wake up from her slumber, let alone get her to go outside in this weather. They have no way to know how old she is, but the gray already on her face indicates that she’s getting up in the years and wants to spend most of her time snoozing with them on the couch. It’s perfect for them now, when they’ve been spending so much time working and studying and just wanting to relax with each other at home. With the help of their friends in New York, they won’t ever be short of babysitters if they do want to spend a night out or two.
“How long do you think Bill’s going to stay in the city?” Eddie asks, tucking his hands under his chin while they wait for Garbage to go.
“Depends on how long it takes for him to get inspired,” Richie snorts, making an exaggerated gesture with his hands. “Dunno what sort of book he’s trying to write now. He says six to eight months before they go back south, but it sounds like Mike busted a nut when he saw the library. Might be a wreck when they finally go home.”
“It’s one of the largest libraries in the world,” Eddie chuckles. “Of course he’s going crazy over it.”
“Well, if they stay, it would be nice. Doubt they’d convince Stan and Patty to come up, though, unless Mike bats his eyelashes real sweet. The four of them are old souls… I wouldn’t be surprised if Stan tries to retire before he’s thirty.”
“I’ve missed having them all around,” Eddie admits. “It’ll suck to see them leave again. Even if Beverly and Ben don’t go to Chicago next year.”
“If they all end up leaving us again, well,” he shrugs, coming up close to Eddie and nuzzling the top of his head. “I’ll still have the best reason to stay.”
“Shut up,” Eddie whines pathetically, but he just snuggles up closer.
“I mean it, Eds. I’ll go anywhere with you, just say the word.”
Eddie looks up at him, their faces barely an inch apart. He’s not sure why Richie sounds so sentimental, but he doesn’t question it. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here with you. Always.”
Clasping Eddie’s face with his gloved hands, Richie plants a kiss with cold, wind-chapped lips, still turned up into a smile. “No worries about the drive tomorrow?”
“Of course not. I’m an excellent driver. I fixed Darla up too good.”
“She does handle pretty well in my hands now,” Richie chuckles. “No nightmares?”
“Some,” Eddie admits. “But nothing that waking up next to you hasn’t helped.”
“Aw, shucks you big sap. God, let’s bring Garb in and grab more coats for the road. I’m freezing.”
“I suppose you’re taking me somewhere warm?”
“Not a chance in hell, sweetheart. Nowhere is warm yet.”
Though he doesn’t see it, Eddie can hear Richie pull something out of their dryer and throw it in the car while Eddie ties up his boots. He gives Garbage a kiss and a treat before following Richie outside and locking up the house. He’s grateful that Richie already started up the car, entering a blast of warm heat when Eddie gets in the passenger seat.
“Should I have a blindfold?” Eddie teases as he buckles his seatbelt.
“What, like a real one from the sex shop? I thought my shirts were doing a fine job.”
“No, for this surprise you fucknut,” Eddie chuckles, shaking his head as Richie grins over at him.
“Just promise me you’ll close your eyes. You trust me?”
Eddie beams back at him before fluttering his eyes shut. “With my life.”
He doesn’t recognize any of the turns Richie is taking, so he just tries to lean back in his seat and let the heat sputtering from the vents relax him. The occasional light from a street lamp or car passes by him, but eventually he’s completely engulfed in darkness. Minutes pass like this, with Eddie humming the music on the radio, drumming his fingers on the center console. The usual panic he sustains while being the passenger in someone’s car doesn’t overcome him. No matter the situation, he always feels safe with Richie now, nightmares or not.
“Oh,” Eddie gasps quietly. “Ow.”
“What’s wrong?”
“My ears…” Eddie mutters, stretching his jaw out to make them pop. “Are we going up a hill?”
“Something like that… Sorry, love. Hang tight.”
Richie’s hand finds his own, giving it a gentle squeeze that Eddie returns. He doesn’t let go for the remainder of the ride. Even when they slow to a stop, Eddie wants to just hang on and crawl over to Richie’s side with him.
“Easy,” Richie laughs, playfully pushing Eddie back. “Stay in your seat and wait for me to come over to you.”
“Fine,” Eddie sighs, letting his seatbelt retract back into the car. The silence buzzes loudly in his ears after Richie turns off the car, but he doesn’t have to wait in the uncomfortable quiet for long. Richie is at his side in less than a minute, carefully helping Eddie back outside. He feels the crunching of snow under his boots and frowns. There wasn’t snow near their place. “How far out of town did you take me?”
“We’re not really out as much as we’re up… C’mere… Be careful… I’m gonna pick you up in a second.”
“Fabulous.” Eddie doesn’t get a chance to make any snarky remarks before he’s lifted off of his feet, letting out a small yelp despite the warning. When he’s placed on what he realizes is the hood of the car, a strange sort of familiarity overcomes him. “Wait a minute…”
“Don’t open your eyes yet!” Richie laughs, pushing Eddie down so he’s laying flat. “Let me get on first.”
“Richie…” Eddie murmurs as Richie’s weight dips the other side of the car. “What day is it?”
“Ah, he finally realizes.”
It’s not the day he reunited with Richie again at the restaurant. They already celebrated their anniversary on the second, over a week ago. Eddie keeps his eyes closed, racking his brain over the memories of all those years ago now. They kissed the first night they found each other. They hadn’t said I love you until ten days after that – Eddie probably remembers that so easily because of the nice, even number. So what…
“This was our first date… When I told you… In the car…”
“Focus on the stuff after that,” Richie says gently, scooting closer.
“You… gave me a blowjob?”
He can’t help but grin as Richie laughs beside him, vibrating against Eddie’s arm. “Oh, of course you remember that. That was after I told you I wanted you to be my boyfriend, remember?”
“Oh, duh! Stupid… How could I forget that?”
“Because sucking your dick obviously blew your mind too much,” Richie chuckles, earning a light nudge from Eddie’s elbow.
“Should we technically have this be our anniversary then?”
“Eds, I celebrate every goddamn day I’m with you. Each one is a gift. In return – Well, it’s not much, but… I thought I’d let you relive a view we’re probably not gonna get in New York. Open your eyes.”
Eddie obeys, certain that he’s going to turn to look at Richie, but is momentarily distracted by the sea of stars above him. The smile on his face only grows wider as his mind is flooded with the memory of that night, trusting Richie to take him up to this mountain to see the constellations. All the other memories, the ones where Eddie had to tell Richie of awful things that happened to him, are suddenly forgotten.
A shooting star flashes across the moonless night sky. Eddie sighs in complete contentment, watching his breath spread out in a small cloud. Nothing from the nearest town interrupts the orchestra of lights, a perfect distance from civilization. Eyes still hungry for more beauty, Eddie turns his head to the sight beside him; the face of the man that Eddie would give up anything else in this world to look at for the rest of his life.
“I love you so much, Richie.”
“I love you too, Eds.”
“Rich… I know that things aren’t really good for us right now…”
“What do you mean?” Richie frowns.
“Not – Not us as in you and me. I mean, people like us.”
“Well, hey – This is a new millennium. We’re leaping forward. Who knows what the future has in store for us? We’ll be okay, Eds.”
“I know we will. That’s why… Why I wanna ask…” Eddie turns his body just ever so slightly to better face Richie. “If… When they finally let us… Would you marry me?”
Richie’s face lights up so brightly, it’s practically its own constellation in competition with the ones in the sky. “Of course I will. I’m yours forever, my love.”
Eddie smiles back, even as Richie kisses him under the lively night around them. He sinks into Richie’s arms and descends so deeply into the heat of their love that the cold doesn’t even bother him anymore. Like the first night they met, like the first fire that Richie lit in Eddie’s heart and soul, and every night since then. Eddie lets it burn away any pain trying to break through. As long as he has their love and the strength he grew with it, the afflictions of his past won’t get through the surface. Because even when the nightmares come, or when the cold sting of trauma threatens, Eddie knows they’ll be engulfed in the flames, rising like phoenixes from the ashes of it all.