I'm really enjoying seeing the contrast between both Jugheads in the earlier and later settings, but also of earlier Jughead and current Betty at the therapist, as they both seem kind of detached from their own life, but for different reasons. It's a relief to see her open up with Jughead, though you can still see there's something wrong, and clearly so can Jughead. I like how you can sort of sense his main concern is taking care of Betty however necessary, but you still set up that central tension in his head when he talks about playing, how he's unsure if his "dark" sexual side is bad and wrong for enjoying what he does with Betty. I like how you also see that in him constantly massaging out her tension knots but also saying he's fond of them and biting them during their play. I also enjoying seeing the hints of putting her on a pedestal that become an issue later on, I noticed he referred to being with her as his "reward" which is not a good thing. I also was amused to see the lavender sundress make it's very first appearance! I love how you've set up Jughead's obsession with Betty, she's not in the earlier section but there's still no doubt she's what's driving Jughead's thoughts, and how we can tell this is just a normal thing he always does. I like the detail of him carving their initals into a crown, and your description of his friendship with Dilton being based upon them both just being there. It seems like Jughead is accepting, or at least used to, sort of slinking in the background as a weirdo but Dilton is still telling himself the lies that "We're nothing like them". Love the contrast of him blithely spying on the Coopers without their knowledge like it's no big deal, while current Jughead demands verbal consent from Betty despite how eager he is. I can't tell how much of that is him changing over time, or just Betty versus everone else I like to think it's both, because of his "better than before" musings. I like also the ambigiousness of earlier Jughead in that his Betty obsession seems fairly benign and harmless, and yet there was that moment where Polly self harmed and you couldn't tell if his reaction was horror and the urge to help (i.e. that he would alert someone if Hal hadn't opened up the door) or fascination like it's a movie and he just would have sat there, watching the dollhouse pieces play out. I also love the passion and love we see in current Jug compared to how cold his thoughts were before about Jason and Polly and Archie's abuse.
Lastly, amused at the doctor trying to turn the Farm into a metaphor. Sometimes an organ-stealing cult is just an organ-stealing cult!
These lines were great: "She looks like she wants to ask more. Her eyes are investigation green, but he flops onto his side with her gathered up in his arms. “Go to sleep, Betty.”" "He never takes notes, she realizes, but he remembers. She wonders if he summarizes when she leaves, some record of their sessions. He must. She does. She wants to see them, his notes on her, or maybe that is why he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to give her the temptation." "She rarely sleeps at all. She needed the medication, a prescription she had not filled in years. Her father’s trial barely a week away, and she regrets every cat nap. " "She thinks about how many doors that man would have to get through, how many armed guards, concrete walls and reinforced steel, but he takes an easy shortcut to her nightmares every night. " "Neither really wants to be responsible for the other, and he prefers it that way. " "It feels like looking into a dollhouse, the meticulously placed furniture, pastels and blondes floating through the windows, minus the one that really matters. He craves it, just a glimpse, but all he gets is the rest." "The yelling and screaming and crying is only made more poignant and ridiculous by the red and blue neon streaking their faces." "he presses her hands down to a more neutral position like he is calming or chastising a pet" "For some reason, Jug thinks it might stick this time. Jason is nice enough to pay for her milkshake before he leaves the diner. What a gentleman." "He feels bad for the kid, because that’s what he is, a kid, a really dumb, impressionable kid. Jug spots her cheap plastic red heart sunglasses lost in the grass and thinks everything is just one big joke. Regular summer of fucking love." "Jughead drops the knife, stumbles forward on his knees across the dusty uneven floorboards of the treehouse. Balanced over the side of the platform, his hands curl around the edge of the floorboards, splintering wood digging into his palms." " Partway through the exchanges, the record restarts, the mild wobbling twangs of the guitar that coalesce into something pleasing, melodious, like falling in love – a rough, timid start but finding stride eventually. Polly is weak in her father’s arms. Hal looks weaker." "The only downside now is he knows she is sexually active, and that just feels like too much ammunition for her. She is dating Jughead. She is taking birth control. By the law of transitive properties, she is fucking Jughead, and that knowledge will only result in too many questions she can’t answer. No, that she won’t answer." "Blinking into consciousness, she was already parsing the possible metaphors, the violence of her seizure forgotten." "Being seasoned for violence does not make her feel invulnerable. It makes her feel expectant." "He grinds his irritation between his teeth, mollifies some by pressing a brief kiss to the side of her head. The scent of vanilla calming, it lets him whisper, “Your mom told me.”" "He practically hauls her towards the bedroom, the toes of her canvas shoes dragging along the thin linoleum through the cramped kitchen, feels her heady giggle through his chest." "He loves having something to grab onto, something that keeps her looking at him, only him. Her lips part in half surprise when he does, gathering her ponytail up in his hand and tugging. She grunts pleased, arching her neck, her body sinking into him. " "The mattress rushes up around them, and she presses her mouth to his, more teeth than a real kiss when she tries to stop laughing." "A part of him just wants to order her to sleep, rest, slow down, because her eyes are too bright, unfocused, a false energy. But the other part – the part he still struggles with – cannot pass up the chance to play, to have her obedient." "Her teeth sink into her lower lip as a barrier against the words, because he always makes her say it. She needs to say it, and he needs to hear it. He resists the urge to press his thumb to her chin, tug her lip free, waits patiently for her consent. Like she knows, her lip slips from her teeth and the words come with its release. “I need you to take control.” Permission granted." "He dedicated his summer to the study of Betty Cooper’s body and damn hubris if he hadn’t become a star pupil in that arena. " "He thought he would always be the passive observer of Betty’s life, her lonely moon in endless orbit, gravity pulling but never finding purchase. " "He licks his lips, her eyes seeking the movement of his tongue, feeling the memory of it inside when her thighs shift again." "It is a soft beg but it carves a path in his chest." "Amended and more developed versions of themselves, because he is more than before, better than before, and whole despite all the people missing from their lives now, his father, hers. But, he knows from experience that when you cut the head off one monster, another inevitably grows back in its place. " "The Serpents will figure that out, too. What Jug has now, it’s a borderline fantasy. It isn’t sustainable. None of this is sustainable."
(Also, I think you might have meant appreciative in the sentence below and maybe autocorrect messed it up? She drops back, her arms stretching above of their own accord as an appreciate smile spreads across her lips.)
I’m sort of flummoxed but also kind of amazed and tickled that you’re blasting through this and leaving really thoughtful and inquisitive comments throughout. It’s just – it kind of makes me want to give you a hug. And I AM NOT a hugger. You can’t imagine what it means to me, truly <3
Jughead consistently fails to connect his stalking to the issue of consent, like he knows in the back of his head but his impulse control where his spying is concerned is just piss-poor. In later chapters, he sort of explains why, that when he finally gets to be an active participant in Betty’s life, he feels the need to be extra cautious, tempering himself at all costs. Also that he viewed his stalking as watching over Betty. It’s twisted and wrong and obsessive to be sure.
I’m glad you caught that. You don’t really get a chance to see what he would’ve done about Polly because there is this strange juxtaposition of Jug as passive observer and active participant in this chapter. I did want him to come across as disaffected in the earlier sections, but then it becomes clear little by little in the next few chapters what he was going through at the time. There’s only so much a kid can process before they start to shut down emotionally. In a way, he is even compartmentalizing his obsession with Betty in the past timeline; it’s like his one safe space.
As for the typo, I imagine there are plenty more where those came from throughout this story, unfortunately. This chapter never actually saw the editing hand of a beta.
Comment on the devil's daughter
redcirce on Chapter 1 Tue 13 Oct 2020 07:23PM UTC
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meditationonbaaal on Chapter 1 Fri 16 Oct 2020 07:51PM UTC
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