Awkwardly_chaotic



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  1. Public Bookmark *

    think twice (and come back for a third time) by

    Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid  

    10 May 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane is heavier than he used to be; his weight bears down on Ilya in a new way. He’s put on pounds of muscle since Ilya last touched him like this. Ilya flattens his palms, skims them under Shane’s undershirt, feels the flat solidity of his abs, the bulk of his lats, the swell of his chest. It’s the same and it’s new, this body; it’s the boy he couldn’t stop thinking about when he was 18 and the man he loved enough to let go at 26 and the person who somehow always comes to find him when he’s lost.

    A stranger, and the love of his life.

     

    —

    or, Ilya's father doesn't die in 2017; Ilya breaks up with Shane instead of confessing his love. They get older, but not any less stupid about each other. Shane gets a boyfriend; Ilya gets on medication; they work on becoming whole people. And they always find their way back to each other.

    OR a story for those who love Shane and Ilya's baby love but ALSO think it's hot when people in their thirties make active choices about who they are and what they want in their partner!!

    Note: the "cheating" tag refers to the relationship between Shane and his aforementioned BF, not to Shane and Ilya cheating on each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,339
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    1,546
    Kudos:
    7,889
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    3,538
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    Bookmarked by Awkwardly_chaotic

    15 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Tags:
    Bookmarker's Notes

    All of the feelings

  2. Public Bookmark 43

    no, it’s for the better by

    Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid  

    01 Jun 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    “You know, I don’t think we’ve actually said more than five words to each other since, um… since the last time.”

    “The last time? I don’t think I remember. I guess it’s been so long.”

    Ilya was lying straight through his teeth. He remembered every moment of that afternoon like it was yesterday: remembers the elation of letting the cry of “Shane” pass through his lips and the crack in his voice as he begged “Hollander”. He had been sitting on that couch, with the taste of tuna and cheese stuck to the inside of his mouth and a puddle drying on his stomach, for the last thirteen years. But he couldn’t say that.

    He needed Shane to tell him. Needed somebody — the only other person in the world who knows what happened that day — to confirm he wasn’t crazy, that he didn’t imagine the whole thing. That there had been something real, even if just for a millisecond. He needed somebody to tell him back the story he’d been picking apart with a magnifying glass for the better part of two decades.

    —

    The tuna meltdown was really, truly the end — until a series of unfortunate run-ins force Shane and Ilya to face the memories that have been torturing them for nearly fifteen years, and face each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,440
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    34
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    77
    Bookmarks:
    43
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    Bookmarked by Awkwardly_chaotic

    03 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Open Doors by

    Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)  

    16 Jun 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov's life was busy, boring, and most of the time exhausting. He had too much to do, and usually not quite enough hours in the day to get it all done.

    So when he starts visiting a new coffee shop and sees the cute barista—strong, handsome, genuine, and freckled—he notices. Without even planning for it, his routine changes when he can’t help but be fascinated by Shane’s long work hours, strict routines, and reckless disregard for his own safety.

    Shane Hollander makes him Americanos. He blushes and stutters and stammers his way through their interactions. He’s wound so tightly that Ilya can’t help but want to unravel him.

    There are no rules for this.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    136,273
    Chapters:
    15/16
    Comments:
    1,947
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    1,619
    Bookmarks:
    534
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    68,450
    Bookmarked by Awkwardly_chaotic

    09 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    we beat the odds together by

    Fandom Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)

    09 Mar 2026

    Words:
    270,203
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    164
    Bookmarked by Awkwardly_chaotic

    26 Mar 2026