Beastybugs



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    09 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Haley
    Hi Shane! Just messaging about our heater again. Do you think we could get it fixed today?
    Shane
    So sorry for the late reply, Haley! I’m at the Olympics and my time zones are all messed up. Messaged my HVAC guy and he’ll be there in the morning.

    Haley
    screenshot.jpg
    Wtf?
    Katie
    Is this guy fr???

    Or: the trials and tribulations of renting from Shane Hollander.

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    04 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Alternate Title: Shane Hollander: Stanley Cup Winner, Accidental Dog Sitter

    Shane: Is this Ilya Rozanov?
    Unknown number: no
    Shane: Oh, but the dog collar had this number.
    Unknown Number: What? What dog collar? What are you talking about?
    Shane: I'm Shane Hollander.
    Shane: I have your dog.
    Unknown Number: Is this ransom threat?
    Unknown Number: Did you kidnap my dog?

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    02 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “I know what’s going on with you,” Eddie’s voice is practied, that same soothing drawl he uses with patients. Buck isn’t a patient; he’s his best friend, damnit! Buck sobs and grabs hold of Eddie’s shirt to shake the brunet weakly, but through the pain searing through his body, he can’t muster the strength to.

    “Jus’- tell me! Am I dying?!” Buck sobs, unable to get a hold of his emotions. He feels all over the place, but the one constant is pain.

    “Well,” Eddie starts, stops, and then forces the words out of his mouth at Buck’s harsher glare. “You’re pregnant, and currently in labor, Buck. That pain? Those are contractions, and that puddle is from your water breaking.” Oh, so Buck wasn’t prepared. Because… what?!

    -

    or; a lot of tequila gets you a lot of places. it got buck a cryptic pregnancy and giving birth to his and eddie's kid on his bathroom floor

    knockbuckup2026 day 3: One Night Stand leading to pregnancy | Cryptic Pregnancy

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    01 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane: Why is Melissa from the Raiders Foundation texting me?
    Shane: Ilya
    Shane: What did you do

    Ilya: ah
    Ilya: you are wag now yes?

    Shane: Ilya

    Ilya: i gave your number to hammersmith’s wife
    Ilya: she thinks i need help with the charity basket
    Ilya: and you know all my favorite things

    With Shane's new WAG status comes new responsibilities. Particularly with the Boston Raiders Foundation.

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    31 May 2026