BernThemAll
Fandoms
Recent works
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Something Precious by Bernthemall (BernThemAll)
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
07 Jun 2021
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Summary
The crossroads demon who gave Wade back his looks only asked for ‘something precious’ of his in return.
Wade’s lost enough in his lifetime already, so what’s one more thing in exchange for beauty worthy of his Soulmate?
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Tells by Bernthemall (BernThemAll)
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
20 Feb 2017
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Summary
How reformed serial killer Steve keeps reformed serial killer Bucky in check.
And how Bucky returns the favour.Or -
Bucky has tells, signs that he's itching to kill. Steve can spot them easily.
Series
- Part 2 of Stucky Serial Killer AU
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A Broken Moral Compass by Bernthemall (BernThemAll)
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
18 Feb 2017
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Summary
Steve, a florist with pretty deadly tendencies, meets self-proclaimed psychopath, Bucky. Though Steve's moral compass is a little off key, it's still there. Bucky's however, is yet to be found.
Or: Steve's a serial killer with a conscience. Bucky?... not so much
Series
- Part 1 of Stucky Serial Killer AU
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Summary
Months after being the subject of a random twitter user's infamous twitter thread, Arthur is travelling to his childhood home in London to visit his sister for New Year's Eve. The boring train journey from Manchester Airport to London St. Pancras is made much more bearable by his favourite twitter user obsessing over him over social media. Maybe this time, he can do some stalking of his own.
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Flowercrowns and Feline Friends by Bernthemall (BernThemAll)
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
27 Nov 2016
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Summary
Steve's cat keeps coming home with flowercrowns on her head. One day, when she doesn't come home at all, he meets the handsome culprit.
Recent series
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- Words:
- 1,917
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 7
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Stucky Serial Killer AU by Bernthemall (BernThemAll)
Fandom Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
20 Feb 2017
Summary
Steve kills due to his wayward morals, Bucky kills due to his wayward mind. Falling in love is like illuminating the path home. But sometimes that path can be dangerous and full of obstacles.
- Words:
- 3,576
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 5
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The Prince and The Pirate by Bernthemall (BernThemAll)
Fandom Captain America, Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
07 May 2015
- Words:
- 4,749
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 10
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- Words:
- 8,947
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 4
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
When he gets to work the next morning, there’s a second bouquet of flowers waiting at his dressing table. He plucks the card from the arrangement and shakes his head as he reads the message.
“Ballerino - good luck tonight. Take your favorites home. I’ll send more. -JS”
or,
In which Jannik is Jannik and Carlos is a ballet dancer.
Bookmarked by Bernthemall (BernThemAll)
10 Apr 2026
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Obsession by rosered27
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon), 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Audio Drama), 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Webcomic)
11 Jun 2025
Tags
Summary
Do not indulge in debauchery. Do not wallow in luxury and pleasure. Do not act impulsive. Do not create damages. No dishonest practices. Do not covet other people's property.
Do not steal.
Lan Jingyi, unfortunately, is a Lan no matter how the sect elders say otherwise. The curse would've happened eventually. He's just sure that this was not how he planned to get through it himself.
Or
Lan Jingyi has fallen in love with someone unreachable and handles it like any other Lan would. Horribly.
Series
- Part 1 of Obsessions
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 164,928
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 445
- Kudos:
- 427
- Bookmarks:
- 125
- Hits:
- 14,514
Bookmarked by Bernthemall (BernThemAll)
19 Aug 2025
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Summary
WANTED: Female, aged 20-30, to be my date for Christmas eve dinner with my Italian-American family. Must be willing to eat my mom’s cooking. No physical intimacy required. No strings attached—I will drive you home after. 4pm-10pm, 12/24. Salary negotiable. Call Carmen: (773) 555-0901.
OR: The one in which Sydney just needs a job, and Carmy will die before he proves Richie right.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 100,000
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 876
- Kudos:
- 3,513
- Bookmarks:
- 972
- Hits:
- 72,786
Bookmarked by Bernthemall (BernThemAll)
13 Nov 2024
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Tags
Summary
Unfortunately, Lan Jingyi had managed to get himself injured, and Jiang Cheng was the only senior cultivator on this side of the mountain.
Which led Jiang Cheng to the moment he was currently in, gently trying to examine the deep gash in Jingyi’s side, parting the previously pristine white and pale blue robes to reach the blood soaked inner robe, and finding that said inner robe was neither blue nor white.
Jiang Cheng felt his hands tremble and he did a double take, absorbing that the color of the robes the kid was wearing looked suspiciously like Yunmeng colors, that specific color, fabric, and embroidery exclusive to the Jiang Family tailor.
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aka Jingyi has a big fat crush, and Jiang Cheng finds out he has been wearing Yunmeng Purple inner robes. Slow burn, some crack/humor.Series
- Part 1 of purple robes
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 48,913
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 373
- Kudos:
- 1,760
- Bookmarks:
- 382
- Hits:
- 29,006
Bookmarked by Bernthemall (BernThemAll)
13 Sep 2023
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The Promised Land by Jenetica
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Deadpool - All Media Types
29 Sep 2022
Tags
Summary
Ugly, lonely, and depressed, Wade Wilson has all but resigned himself to a life of solitude. But when a glory hole place called The Promised Land (the "Home of the Holy") opens up, Wade discovers a way he might be able to find some intimacy without traumatizing anyone with the sight of his skin. Enter Peter, the sassy, sweet sex worker who has a perfect ass and an even better sense of humor. They might (might!) be even better than Spidey's.
~*~*~
Yes. This is 100% the glory hole + identity porn love story no one asked for. It's a smutty, angsty, fluffy, funny rollercoaster. Please read the tags!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,827
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 292
- Kudos:
- 4,251
- Bookmarks:
- 963
- Hits:
- 37,303
Bookmarked by Bernthemall (BernThemAll)
20 Feb 2023