Bnorthey



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    After Shane films an obscenely slutty advertisement for a sports drink company, the whole goddamn world decides he’s their new favorite sex symbol. Ilya reacts perfectly normally to this latest development.

    Or, 5 times Ilya is consumed with jealousy over his own fucking boyfriend + 1 time Shane shows him who he really belongs to.

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    19 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Everyone in the NHL wants Shane Hollander. Maybe that should make Ilya feel proud, accomplished, even. Because he's the only one who has ever really had him. The only one who will.
    But really, it only seems to piss him off. Make him possessive.
    Shane kind of likes that.

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    19 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    19 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya
    Guess what

    Shane
    What?

    Ilya
    We are getting married tomorrow!!

    Shane
    Oh shit, I meant to tell you
    A thing came up, sorry!
    Totally unavoidable

    Ilya
    SHANE

    or: Hollanov take the 'two birds, one stone' approach to their wedding day.

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    19 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya chuckles. “You don’t know why the team might be scared of you? You cannot think of any reason?”

    “Scared? Of me?” Shane says.

    “Yes. They adore you. But they are terrified.”

    “But – but why? What did I do?”

    Ilya pretends to think. “Hmm. What did you do? Maybe it was the first Stanley Cup. Or the second. Or the third. Or your MVP wins. Or every single fucking game you have ever played in your life. You are Shane fucking Hollander. Did you forget?”

    ---

    Or, five times Shane scares the Centaurs, and one time he (accidentally) terrifies them.

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    19 Jun 2026