Connorswains
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She’s spent so long fighting a brain that seems to work against her. Being tormented as she overthinks every word, every action, constantly chasing some sense of worthiness that's always just out of reach.
And she's so tired of it all.
So tonight, she doesn't want to have to choose what to be, what to do.
She doesn't want to have to think at all.
She wants that control to be ripped from her grasp. Wants instead to place her mind entirely in Carla's hands, to let herself be unravelled till she knows nothing but her. She needs to let go of everything else, to become suggestible and pliant for Carla to shape however she pleases, to be taken however she wishes. Until she knows she's exactly what Carla wants — until there's no more room for doubt.
Until she's good.
(Or: Set after Carla goes to visit Lisa in her office in the 25/06/25 episode, Lisa plans an evening taking care of Carla, and Carla finds a way to take care of her in return - an exploration of Lisa's need to be useful, her struggles with letting Carla in, and most importantly, her praise kink.)
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“So, you want one then?” Lisa asks, proffering the bag she’s had stashed under the table, "I was hiding them from Ryan and Betsy."
“Nah, wouldn’t want to deprive you, we both know how much that pretty mouth likes to be kept occupied,” Carla hums, running her thumb over Lisa’s bottom lip before pressing the candy cane back between them.
Lisa cocks her head, eyelashes fluttering as she stares up at her. “Yeah?” She says breathily, not missing a beat, “I can think of plenty of other ways you could keep it occupied.”
(Or: It's Carla's first day back at work after christmas, and Lisa's feeling especially needy.)
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And she can't understand it. It doesn’t make sense.
This should be a good thing. Shouldn’t it?
Their family is finally complete again after years of heartache. The person who had loved her and Lisa so fiercely that her absence had torn their lives apart — their missing piece — back in her rightful place.
This was everything they’d ever wanted, the thing that was supposed to make them whole.
So then why, now more than ever, did it felt like her family was falling apart?
(Or: Betsy tries to come to terms with the return of her mum, who she really is, and whether she’s been this way all along.)
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“Look. I didn’t come here to argue.”
“Oh yeah?” Footsteps. Slow. Measured. Getting closer. “Then why did you come?”
She turns back slowly, ready to reiterate her pathetic lie. To try to rationalise what had never once been about rationality.
But then she catches the look in Lisa’s eyes. Dark, dangerous and so fucking hungry.
It’s almost convincing enough that she can ignore the agony behind it.
“Y’know I saw you earlier, out on a little date with your girlfriend,” Lisa says the word with a sneer, like it’s a joke they’re both in on, “shouldn’t you be with her? Or is she not good enough for you to let her take you home?”
(Or: post-breakup, Carla seeks distraction in the arms of another woman, and Lisa’s jealousy gets the better of her.)
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“Whatever shall we do with this big, empty, house of ours then?” She keeps her tone casual, a look of faux innocence spread across her face.
Lisa’s clearly not buying it. Truthfully they both know this is only ever going to end one way — but ever the diplomat, Lisa steps back, eyebrows raised.
“We should probably make a start on these boxes, we’ve got a lot to get done.”
“Mm, we should. . .” Carla trails off, pretending to contemplate the situation. “Or, you could use those gorgeous arms to carry me over the threshold of our room and then help me christen it.”
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(Or Carla and Lisa attempt to unpack after the events of the August 4th episode.)
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She chokes on her own breath. And, humiliated, sinks deeper into her own personal hell.
And it’s certainly too late for any deliverance. Even pretty, blonde salvation.
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Bookmarked by Connorswains
27 Mar 2025
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“She’s besotted with us, isn’t she?” Lisa says, amused. “Not that I mind. It’s nice, you know? Kids seeing queer relationships in public and thinking nothing of it.”
She gestures vaguely between them, “Even if that’s not what this is.”
OR What if Carla never said, “Don’t get dressed,” and the sapphic yearning continued?
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Bookmarked by Connorswains
13 Mar 2025