Expensive8124



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane had planned the pregnancy down to the week.

    That was the joke everyone kept making, anyway. Not that it was inaccurate.

    The third trimester was supposed to land perfectly during the off season so Shane could avoid flying, avoid media appearances, avoid unnecessary stress, and ideally spend the last stretch of pregnancy resting quietly at home with his husband.

    Instead, the third trimester was destroying him.

    He was tired all the time. Not regular tired either. Bone-deep, miserable exhaustion that made him want to cry if he had to walk upstairs twice in one day. His back hurt. His hips hurt. His knees hurt. His ribs hurt. Sometimes his skin hurt for reason.

    Or. Pregnant Shane shorts.

    Language:
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    Chapters:
    9/?
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    612
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    03 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane let out a put-upon sigh and stepped into Dr. Terry's office, closing the door behind him. “So, I was really nauseous this morning. Threw up a little. And Ilya is making me come talk to you about it.”

    Terry quirked an eyebrow at him. “Husband Ilya or Captain Rozanov?”

    “Both.”

    “Oof.” Terry gestured at him to take a seat. “You sure you’re not dying, bud?"

    (formerly titled: at the top of the mohs scale)

    Language:
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    87,162
    Chapters:
    26/31
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    30 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): i keep thinking this is some sort of insane dream
    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): but no. we got SHANE HOLLANDER.
    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): because of HOMOPHOBIA!
    Sherlock Holmes (Carter Holmberg): rare homophobia win
    Shane Hollander: Well let’s not go that far.
    El Capitan (Ilya Rozanov): holmberg please refrain from being pro homophobia in the group chat or shane will report you to management

    --

    Or: Shane's first season on the Ottawa Centaurs, as told through a number of increasingly unhinged texts

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    69,925
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    11/13
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    28 May 2026

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    Shandry's Third @shaneybaby

    uhhh so im on r/shanehollander rn and some guy is claiming to have cloned shane’s dad’s phone and uploaded it to the internet?? has anyone else clicked on this link will it give me a virus if i do

    7:03 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 135.1k retweets | 232.1k likes

    Shandry's Third @shaneybaby

    okay I googled his dad and he’s a 52 year old forensic accountant who thinks fashion peaked with ralph lauren polo shirts. am I enough of a hollander simp to risk my laptop just to look through the phone of his dad who acts like sandals and bermuda shorts are a risqué choice. yes.

    7:04 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 137.1k retweets | 235.9k likes

    Shandry's Third @shaneybaby

    oh my god his password for everything is ShaneHollander24. pov you love your son so much that it compromises your bank account

    7:04 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 143.7k retweets | 250.7k likes

    Shandry's Third @shaneybaby

    HOLY FUCK

    7:19 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 337.1k retweets | 413.3k likes

    Language:
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    7/?
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    25 May 2026

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    “I feel really good about this kid, I think he could be great on your wing, he just needs some help settling in. Someone to show him the ropes.”

    “Yes.”

    The line went silent for a moment. Ilya wasn’t really sure why his coach felt the need to run this by him.

    “Rozanov,” his coach said at last. “I want him to live with you.”

    Ilya blinked, then nearly shouted into the phone. “What?”

    * * *

    or, Ilya stays in Boston, gets a rookie, and tries to figure out how to make a secret long distance relationship work while there's a Russian teenager in his house

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    20/20
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    24 May 2026