Landipan
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She blinks some more. “You’re—I mean—you’re the worst person I’ve ever met.”“Worse than Cormac Mc-Doge-Coin?” Malfoy asks in disbelief. “Seriously?”
Hermione pauses. “That feels . . . like a trick question.”
“Jesus fuck,” Malfoy says, looking appalled.
[ALTERNATIVELY: the prestigious-but-at-what-cost summer internship au]
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- English
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Bookmarked by Landipan
05 Jun 2026
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He’s covered in blood, though not his own.
A spray of crimson stands out in sharp contrast to the paleness of his skin and the stark white of his shirt. Once crisp, it’s now wrinkled and torn, burnt and stained.
His chest expands with the remains of his adrenaline, taking deep lungfuls of air with nostrils flared, and it pulls at the leather wand holster wrapped across his shoulders. Hermione’s gaze follows the spatter that dots his neck and up to his face, cataloguing the damage that’s been done. A split, slightly swollen lip and the purple bloom of a bruise against the sharp bone of his cheek seem to be the worst of his visible injuries. There’s a rough, raw patch of skin on his jaw, though she can’t tell if it’s a burn or a scrape. Motion catches her eye and she follows the lines of his body back down his arm until she sees his long fingers, flexing around his wand at his side. He’s got bloodied knuckles and protruding veins that track up his hand and forearms, and a new set of scratches that will likely add to the map of his existing scars. But once he sees her, his body goes still.
Malfoy’s alive, and he’s found her. Just like he always does.
Art by Mignonettes.
Bookmarked by Landipan
31 Jan 2026
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In which Draco wears the face of Ron and is thereby compelled to fulfill Hermione's startling request.
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- 166,580
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- 35/?
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Bookmarked by Landipan
29 Apr 2025
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The one thing Draco Malfoy hated more than Christmas was snow. Snow had a habit of ruining your plans, causing delays, and generally making you damp. But this Christmas Day blesses him with his third and fourth least favorite things as well: crying girls and Hermione Granger. || 13 GOING ON 30 AU x A CHRISTMAS CAROL
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- English
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by Landipan
12 Mar 2025
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It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.
This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.
When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.
How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?
Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!
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Bookmarked by Landipan
12 Mar 2025