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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,485
- Kudos:
- 31,300
- Bookmarks:
- 12,436
- Hits:
- 1,901,087
Bookmarked by Marti432
03 Jun 2026
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Summary
Thor is a beast, prowling the halls of an empty castle alone, living a life of cold, barren solitude. Villagers visit once yearly to bring him gifts he does not seek, piling valueless trinkets at his gate they feel will keep him appeased. They hate Thor and Thor knows, someday, that they will breach his gates and come for his head. He wonders to himself, often, if he will try to stop them when they do.
This year, though, the offering has changed. Thor finds not trinkets at his front gate, but a girl, and then everything begins to change.
A Beauty and the Beast AU.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 60,846
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 280
- Kudos:
- 1,172
- Bookmarks:
- 280
- Hits:
- 22,915
Bookmarked by Marti432
17 Apr 2026
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A Job Million PRs Would Die for by lokislittlevalkyrie
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
20 Jun 2021
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Summary
Tony Stark makes you an offer you can't refuse. You really should reconsider, because you will be handling PR for someone who isn't exactly an Avenger. It is a job a million PRs would die for.
You might just end up dying for real.
Series
- Part 1 of Scandalised
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 338,823
- Chapters:
- 60/60
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 4,552
- Kudos:
- 6,423
- Bookmarks:
- 1,126
- Hits:
- 235,590
Bookmarked by Marti432
16 Apr 2026
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Summary
Jasper can't catch a break. From being an orphan, to being cast out onto the streets of Illisi, to his horrible job at a tavern with an awful boss. Nothing ever goes his way, and today isn't any different.
The tavern is too quiet, on a Friday. And a mysterious man in all black has just walked through the door.
That clothing meant Trouble. And that Trouble was staring Jasper right in the face.
TL;DR Jasper gets kidnapped and sexily (Not deadly) sacrificed to a cult, where he goes through various forms of sexual torment.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 121,532
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 223
- Kudos:
- 310
- Bookmarks:
- 86
- Hits:
- 43,830
Bookmarked by Marti432
26 Mar 2026
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If only Rome knew how much you sacrificed for them by Darknessisafriend
Fandoms: Gladiator (2000)
14 Feb 2022
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After the final fight against Maximus in the Colosseum, you find Commodus’ body among the corpses of those dead in the arena, he had been carelessly tossed there as if he was no one. He is alive, barely, you decide to save him. But what will happen if he survives? Will he claim back the throne?
Bookmarked by Marti432
16 Feb 2026

