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He should pull away. He should laugh politely, and tell Ed kindly - but firmly - that such contact was not appropriate in cultured society.
But they were not in cultured society. They were on a boat in the middle of the ocean, intending to rob some merchants.
Stede let Ed take his hands.
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or, the one where Stede learns that, just like the social elite back home, pirates have a lot of strange traditions.
(alternatively, the one where Stede gets a piercing)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,301
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 191
- Kudos:
- 1,891
- Bookmarks:
- 435
- Hits:
- 25,528
Bookmarked by Monotropic
18 Feb 2023
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different with every shore by JoBones
Fandoms: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
03 Jun 2021
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“Steve told me you were quite the ladies’ man back in the day.”
“Back in the day?” said Bucky, huffing a small laugh. “You mean 1943?”
“Sure. Told me about all the double dates you’d set up for them. He said half the time he was just an excuse so that you could take out two girls.”
“Steve said that? Geeze.” Bucky shook his head. “So ungrateful. Kid was like the hardest person to set up with a date.”
“‘Cause of the skinny thing?”
“No, the moral righteousness thing,” Bucky nodded at Sam. “Maybe you know something about that.”
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How Sam figures out that Bucky’s probably into him, which is a problem because Sam loves Bucky but it’s not like he’s IN love with Bucky, right? A remix on the last half of episode 6, Rated T for Tender Kisses.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,200
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 174
- Kudos:
- 1,908
- Bookmarks:
- 475
- Hits:
- 19,722
Bookmarked by Monotropic
18 Jan 2023
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Inevitably by glittercake
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), Captain America (Anthony Mackie Movies), Captain America (Chris Evans Movies)
18 Sep 2021
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Summary
Thomas waits for James to turn around again, and when he does, Thomas holds the wooden spoon up to James’ lips and lets him taste the pasta sauce.
Something twists inside of Bucky. This is so softly domestic; for a moment it feels as though he’s looking at something he shouldn’t, something far too intimate and sweet for his eyes. But it is him. Those are his eyes, so he doesn’t understand this nagging urge to stop intruding until it’s too late.
“Oh,” Sam says, “Oh, wait, they’re—”
And then James leans down and kisses Thomas square on the mouth.
“You were saying?” Bucky chokes out, staring ahead.
From the corner of his eye, he sees Sam nodding, “They’re uh… together. That’s a thing.”
OR Sam and Bucky are tasked with spying on themselves from another timeline and learn a few things.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,748
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 76
- Kudos:
- 1,288
- Bookmarks:
- 211
- Hits:
- 10,552
Bookmarked by Monotropic
15 Jan 2023
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Ed is an engineer aboard the Revenge, an interplanetary research vessel on a multi-year mission to study Jupiter's moon Europa. An accident requires that Ed awaken from cryostasis over six months early, and finds his only companion to be Stede, the ship's onboard AI. They develop an unconventional friendship, but is it possible to have more?
This is classic mutual pining with a sci-fi twist, inspired by all of my favorite stories about the nature of personhood.
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“You–” Ed was struggling to parse what Stede was saying. “You’re playing your version of this song for me, right now? Like, in real time?”“Yes, Edward, that’s correct,” said Stede softly.
Ed’s brain momentarily seized up. He supposed it made sense that Stede was capable of learning a set of rules to do something like arrange and play a piece of music. There was something unnerving about this song, though. It felt, well–it felt organic . Reactive. Almost collaborative in a way. Ed was lost in the push and pull of it, until the last notes softly petered out.
“So, what did you think?” asked Stede. It sounded nervous again. Why the hell would someone program an anxiety response into a bot?
Series
- Part 1 of Starry Eyes and Counting Down to Zero
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 62,072
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 2,704
- Kudos:
- 2,644
- Bookmarks:
- 1,053
- Hits:
- 50,264
Bookmarked by Monotropic
08 Jan 2023
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“One might think that living a cursed existence is a bad thing. Objectively so, some might say!” Stede turned on his heel, coat swishing out dramatically behind him.
“One might also assume that being made to walk the earth - er - one little isle of it, for all the days and nights thereof ever and after and so on to be a miserable existence. And they may be right to say so! But!” Here he turned to his audience, “What’s the difference between a curse…and a blessing?” He looked enquiringly around the little beach. None of the animals strewn about it appeared to be listening.
“Anyone? Swede?”
The sea lion shrunk back a little guiltily, not meeting his gaze.
“Black Pete?”
There was a rude short from the scraggly hound.
“No one? Really?” Stede sighed. “Alright. The secret is…perspective!” He made a little flourish. “Ta da!” There was a despairing whine. He chose to ignore that.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 48,817
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 223
- Kudos:
- 635
- Bookmarks:
- 215
- Hits:
- 8,230
Bookmarked by Monotropic
24 Dec 2022
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Summary
“Master, is there something I can help you with?” He turned around to find Nandor laying on the couch in a way that he could only describe as posed. Laid out like some fainting maiden, Nandor was holding that fancy fan from yesterday. He had it in his left hand, as his right was draped out on his forehead as if overcome. Spread out to show off that painting, Nandor was delicately fluttering the fan with practiced little motions.
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Nandor tries to find a way to talk to Guillermo, but for some reason it's not working.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,895
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 25
- Kudos:
- 323
- Bookmarks:
- 43
- Hits:
- 2,240
Bookmarked by Monotropic
14 Dec 2022
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In The Burning Fuselage of My Days by Jay Auris (nighthawkms)
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
06 Feb 2022
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Guillermo wants to laugh, because what Nandor is saying is is utterly ludicrous. “Look, master. I get what you’re trying to tell me, and I’m not saying my life has been easy, but... the only real war-like scenarios I’ve ever been happened during the years I’ve been with you. I don’t think looking at a postcard from my old high school is reminding me of fighting all those vampires.”
“Then why did you look as though you were lost in that head of yours?” Nandor asks. “That card did something to you.”
“They’re just old, bad memories,” Guillermo insists. “That time sucked, but it’s over. I’m so much happier now, living here, being with you- all of you vampires, that is.” God, as if he couldn’t embarrass himself even further.
“Be that as it may, you still hold ghosts, Guillermo de la Cruz.” Nandor offers him the mug back. “I know what I saw, and I do not like knowing you carry that.”
Bookmarked by Monotropic
14 Dec 2022
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Summary
There was a reason Guillermo de la Cruz earned his title as the best supernatural lawyer in the tri-state area: he always got his clients off.
Nandor stands accused of a crime he didn't commit and accidentally hires an attorney. Guillermo defends humankind and magical creatures alike — in the court of law. And Jenna is gunning for a promotion.
Bookmarked by Monotropic
09 Dec 2022
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Summary
Nandor struggles with the concept of change. Guillermo struggles to assemble flat pack furniture.
"For some reason Nandor is very keen on the idea of Date Night. Sometimes this can be fun. There’s something surprisingly beautiful about going to the beach at night, with the waves crashing in the dark and the lights glimmering on the dark water. It’s a lot colder of course, but there aren’t as many tourists or small children running around to knock over your sandcastle. Sometimes they run into other couples but in what Guillermo thinks is a touching display of romance, Nandor hardly ever eats them. Some nights though, Nandor gets to choose what they do, which usually turns into another marathon of the Twilight movies. It’s not that Guillermo hates Twilight but honestly it feels stupid to watch it over and over when Interview With a Vampire is right there on amazon prime."
Bookmarked by Monotropic
08 Dec 2022
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reached inside and cut it free by ghostoftonantzin
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
29 Jun 2022
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Summary
The mirror gave Guillermo a bad feeling. It sounded too ridiculous to articulate even in the recesses of his own mind, but Guillermo felt like the reflective lens itself was watching him, despite being an inert sheet of glass over metal.
A possibly cursed mirror? Sure, why not. It's not like Guillermo's life can get any worse, right?
Bookmarked by Monotropic
08 Dec 2022
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Summary
They make a kinda bizarre couple, some sweater guy and his boyfriend dressed like he made all his clothes out of curtains. They always sit on opposite sides of the booth and don’t talk much, or hold hands or make gooey eyes at each other.
A lot of people have a lot of opinions about Nandor and Guillermo's relationship. They are various degrees of correct.
Bookmarked by Monotropic
07 Dec 2022
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it's strange what desire will make foolish people do by nativeportlandian
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
19 Oct 2021
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Summary
Guillermo had always known that Nandor had a secret love for mundane human things, even if he claimed himself above it to the other vampires. But here, in the dim lights of the bar with Nandor in his ‘human costume’, he looked like a regular guy with a goofy grin and out-of-style dance moves. And God fucking damn it, it made Guillermo want nothing more than to kiss his stupid face.
Series
- Part 1 of Two Dumbasses Walk into a Bar
Bookmarked by Monotropic
07 Dec 2022
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the age of iron, steam, and speed by ghostoftonantzin for Interrobam
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
27 Aug 2021
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Summary
Guillermo did not mean to burn the moment War Machine walked into the New York Department of Powered Beings offices into his mind, but it was kind of hard not to. War Machine wasn’t officially known as War Machine, the nickname was considered kind of rude, but “The Swordsman” didn’t quite capture the raw terror he inspired in the general population.
Nandor is a superhero of questionable morals, age, and ability to limit collateral damage, and Guillermo is a bureaucrat who really likes his job.
Series
- Part 1 of Superhero AU
Bookmarked by Monotropic
23 Nov 2022
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It’s a Crime (I Never Told You About the Diamonds in Your Eyes) by softwinds
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
09 Aug 2020
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Summary
Guillermo waves back to bid them goodbye. His phone buzzes. Nandor is coming to pick you up! – it reads. A dark, bearded man gazes at him from the driver's profile with a wide mirthful grin, a garnet scarf wrapped around the base of his neck. His features are sharp and defined, a strong nose slightly crooked to one side.
Hot, Guillermo decides, in a wolfish kind of way. He allows his mind to linger for a bit longer, until a black Kia pulls up in front of him, the passenger side’s window rolled down.
“Guillermo?”
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In which vampires are not real (or are they?), Nandor is a killer, and Guillermo has to die.Bookmarked by Monotropic
22 Nov 2022
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Ten years have passed since the Millennium incident, and Integra and Seras have managed put the pieces of Hellsing back together. They are in the midst of an investigation involving potential vampire activity in several underground clubs whenever Alucard finally returns. Integra must come to terms with her emotions in the wake of his homecoming...and the aftermath thereof.
Series
- Part 1 of LRPD
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 197,320
- Chapters:
- 62/62
- Comments:
- 724
- Kudos:
- 778
- Bookmarks:
- 97
- Hits:
- 30,778
Bookmarked by Monotropic
17 Aug 2022
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Scars by Arvensis5
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies)
14 Sep 2015
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Summary
When Tony tried to urge the homeless guy sleeping on the steps of the Tower’s loading dock to move, he never expected that he'd found Hydra’s pet assassin—James "Bucky" Barnes.
Now, after months of keeping his presence a secret from the Avengers and helping Barnes learn to cope with both his returning memories and the modern world, Hydra is back for their favorite toy and Tony must call in old friends to save the life of the man he just might have come to care for a little too much.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,243
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 17
- Comments:
- 204
- Kudos:
- 8,988
- Bookmarks:
- 2,377
- Hits:
- 121,185
Bookmarked by Monotropic
30 Jun 2021
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Summary
A drive through an empty stretch of Louisiana is disrupted by an unusual confluence of circumstances, leaving the gang stranded with no cell reception, no civilization for miles, and a rapidly setting sun. Fortunately there's a big creepy abandoned house for them to spend the night in while definitely not talking about their substantial pile of interpersonal problems. It's just one night. It's probably fine.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,420
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 21
- Kudos:
- 162
- Bookmarks:
- 36
- Hits:
- 1,146
Bookmarked by Monotropic
19 Nov 2020
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The Adventures of the Doctor and Rory the Roman by jesterlady
Fandoms: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963)
19 Aug 2012
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Summary
Rory's waiting for 2,000 years. How many Doctors do you think he'd meet in that time?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,051
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 473
- Kudos:
- 3,464
- Bookmarks:
- 973
- Hits:
- 43,491
Bookmarked by Monotropic
30 Jun 2020
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Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV)
05 Oct 2019
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Summary
As soon as Aubrey Thyme, psychotherapist, had opened her office door and seen her new client, Anthony J. Crowley, sitting in her waiting area, she was observing and assessing him. At first glance, she paid attention to the following:
--His clothing was expensive and stylish;
--He wore very strange but noticeable cologne;
--His relationship to the seat he occupied could only, very loosely, be described as “sitting;”
--He looked angry;
--He was wearing sunglasses.What Aubrey Thyme, a professional, thought, upon first seeing her new client was: you’re going to be a fun one, aren’t you?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 99,423
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 65
- Comments:
- 6,915
- Kudos:
- 33,383
- Bookmarks:
- 11,934
- Hits:
- 594,916
Bookmarked by Monotropic
25 Jun 2020
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Summary
A love story about angels and demons. Also, fish
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,620
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 220
- Kudos:
- 5,296
- Bookmarks:
- 1,240
- Hits:
- 47,799
Bookmarked by Monotropic
19 Jun 2020