Pashalawa
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Operatives of the international secret spy organization known as The Garden are the best of the best. So it was a real effort for Peach to kill two of them.
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What's the first rule of Fight Club? You pretend it never happened, make sure it doesn't happen again, and live in ignorant bliss of your emotions.
Oh wait, that's not Fight Club. That's Brad's method for dealing with the fact that he has the resolve of a flower petal when it comes to Ray and can't stop thinking about how his nose is actually pretty cute for something so crooked.
A take on the early stages of BradRay.
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“Oh shit!” Ray ducked just in time to avoid an on-coming gingerbread, but the second one slammed into him. It didn’t hurt, but the sharpened candy cane sure did. It stabbed right into his chest, only about an inch deep near his collar bone, but it was definitely in there. He was definitely just stabbed by a candy cane-wielding Christmas cookie. “Motherfucker!”
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Sometimes, a kid in your neighborhood makes a fucked-up Christmas wish and you end up trapped in a never-ending holiday theme hellzone just based on proximity. Is that fair?
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Brad has cheesecake. It's his cheesecake. It is notably not Ray's cheesecake. The thing about Brad's cheesecake is that it's his, and specifically not Ray's.
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"Ray was not an idiot. He might have looked like one, he might have acted like one, but he definitely wasn’t one and that meant he knew better than to accept a full-on secret USB from a frantic man in the parking lot."
Ray used to think he'd made a great Jason Bourne, but now he knows that he'd rather live in the role of the friendly comic relief that gets to spend half the time in a chair hacking into street cameras. Unfortunately, he didn't get the choice.
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