Purpe
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Summary
Ilya picks up on the third ring, breathing heavily into the phone. Shane hears a door slam shut through the device. “Do not yell at me.”
Shane stares at the half-empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. “You suck.”
“I suck? I scored hat-trick! In your stupid body! I have not eaten in six hours, Hollander. I have not pissed. I have not laid down. I want to go home.”
“Rozanov–”
“Your mother has called twenty times. Your manager has called thirty times. Your father text me picture of crossword puzzle and ask for help. Clue is about American President from the 1980s. I cannot help!”
OR: the hollanov bodyswap fic.
Series
- Part 3 of ejo + hr
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Summary
So, the first thing that happens is Castiel comes back.
~~~
"Right," Dean says eventually, gruffly. He looks down at his shoes. "I'm not gonna tell you how to live your life, man. It's—you know, yours. Do your thing, love who you love, whatever. I can't really stop you from loving me, if that's what you've decided to do, but I don't—I can't—"
"I know," Castiel murmurs, still just smiling a little, not looking heartbroken at all. "Don't worry about it, Dean, that's all I ask."
"So we're—" Dean risks a glance up, swallowing thickly. "We're good?"
Castiel hums. "We're good."
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Summary
After Cas comes home, Dean starts cooking like crazy. He thinks he might be compensating for something.
Series
- Part 1 of grocery revelations
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Summary
Cas comes back. It's not exactly the reunion that Dean is expecting.
~~~
Dean stares at him, flummoxed. Cas quite literally poured his heart out to Dean, gave a truly sappy and distressingly romantic speech and everything, then proceeded to give his life so that Dean could live his. And he wants to act like he doesn't want to see Dean, be around him, touch him?
Actually, Dean's ninety-nine percent sure that Cas probably wants to fuck him, and while he has no clue how he feels about that, he's pretty goddamn sure that means Cas doesn't get to act like this and make it authentic.
It feels strangely real, though, as if Cas wants nothing more than to get as far away from him as possible. This is a blatant contradiction. Even someone as weird as Cas doesn't want to get away from the person they have the desire to fuck five ways to Sunday, that they're in love with. That's not how these things work, so Dean isn't buying it.
Series
- Part 1 of Cursed Metaphors
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Summary
As a grease monkey turned college freshman, Dean's constantly three seconds away from being stressed out of his mind. It hardly helps that he's finally figuring out his sexuality in his thirties.
What might help with that stress is a little phone number (and a big credit card bill). If he can't figure out how to be bisexual in person, he can at least give it a go over the phone, right?
(It's probably a bad idea, but he really can't help himself.)
Series
- Part 1 of talk
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 194,739
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Comments:
- 5,940
- Kudos:
- 20,326
- Bookmarks:
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Bookmarked by Purpe
09 Jan 2021
Bookmarker's Notes
The phone fic
Probably one of my favorite deancas fics right now tbh