SapientPear



Recent works

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “How many times do I have to tell you I don’t fuck humans?” Shane asked.

    “Until I listen, probably,” Ilya answered.

    “Is that going to be many more, or…?”

    Shane trailed off and Ilya didn’t answer right away, just let his eyes slide slowly up the other man and enjoyed the view. When he was finished, Shane was watching, waiting, narrowed eyes black in the darkness.

    “Is probably going to be a whole lot of times,” he finally said. “Do you want to start now, or are you going to come flirt with me again tomorrow?”

    -------

    The one where Shane is a vampire, Ilya's a bartender, it's wintertime in New York City, and someone's on a murder spree.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    57,131
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    951
    Kudos:
    2,541
    Bookmarks:
    961
    Hits:
    58,769

    17 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    In the early hours of Saturday, the Hockey world was ablaze with the news that Ilya Rozanov was dead. Killed in a tragic car accident leaving behind a slew of devastated fans and a grieving husband still reeling in shock.

    The news also came as an incredible shock to Ilya when he awoke that same day, hungover and bleary, but very much alive. 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,385
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    2,339
    Kudos:
    40,167
    Bookmarks:
    9,505
    Hits:
    453,245

    05 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Harris launches a new series for the Centaurs' social media: having the team answer his question of the day!

    This follows the season after The Long Game, when Shane joins the team on their road to the Stanley Cup, as they answer questions like who's the hottest/funniest/most perceptive Centaur, different preferences, rituals, and more.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,205
    Chapters:
    45/45
    Comments:
    5,972
    Kudos:
    37,762
    Bookmarks:
    8,717
    Hits:
    719,637

    04 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,196
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,552
    Kudos:
    50,342
    Bookmarks:
    10,438
    Hits:
    329,648

    30 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.

    When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.

    Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.

    (With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    195,969
    Chapters:
    21/21
    Comments:
    7,485
    Kudos:
    31,324
    Bookmarks:
    12,449
    Hits:
    1,903,542

    19 Apr 2026