SilentLizard
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The Accountant’s Guide to Taking Down an Evil Vampire Lord (and maybe bagging Astarion while you are at it) by Cinnamontails
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
07 Nov 2024
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Summary
“Fine,” she said. “Do you know the statistically most common way for the authorities to take out organized crime?”
Well, if that was her idea of enticing conversation, it was no wonder she had all those evenings free to chase after scoundrels like him. Still, Astarion didn’t want to antagonize her further and ruin the game, so he pursed his lips and guessed, “A very large, well-placed cannon?”
“Tax fraud.”
She looked at him as if she expected some sort of reaction – maybe a dramatic gasp? A palm flung to his forehead in a theatrical rendition of How could I not think of this?
Everything he could muster was a blink. “Tax … fraud.”
She nodded, obviously excited about what Astarion was sure were two of the most boring words in the English language, combined.
"That's how we'll take down Cazador."- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 112,858
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 2,014
- Kudos:
- 5,242
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- 1,379
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- 126,681
Bookmarked by SilentLizard
27 Oct 2023
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Corporate Relationship Disclosure Form -- Human Resource Coordinator: Jung Hoseok
Section to be completed by Employees Involved:
Names: Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin
Job Titles: Chief Accountant Supreme, Professional Wet Blanket
Nature of Relationship:Friends with BenefitsSex Enemies
Length of Relationship: 4 minutesPlease Describe Jin's Dick:Shut up Hoseok I see you nasty fucker, you just added this fucking question to the form you didn’t even make sure the font was the same as the original you better hold on to your goddamn cat because I’m coming for you as soon as I’m finished getting- oh fucking hell.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,001
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 1,375
- Kudos:
- 20,724
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- 7,350
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Bookmarked by SilentLizard
14 Jun 2018
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Contains F/M as well as M/M.
Most of these will be smut.
Don't like, don't read.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,163
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 3
- Kudos:
- 45
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- 5
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- 2,629
Bookmarked by SilentLizard
12 Jun 2018
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"I guess," Jungkook pauses momentarily to inhale a deep, bracing breath, "I would just want you to come to my work events and laugh at my jokes and don't correct people if they imply that we're doing it."
"Having sex, you mean," Jin clarifies gently, and Jungkook chokes on air. If his face was any redder, Jin would insist on taking him to the hospital. Jungkook clears his throat, obviously trying to play off the strangled, choked sound as a casual cough.
"Yes. Doing... sex."
(Hedge Fund wunderkind and Certified Awkward Gay Jungkook needs a sugar baby to show off at work, and Professional Competitive Eater and Objectively Beautiful Human Jin just wants to stop working shitty side-jobs. Fake Sugar Daddy AU. A trope and a half.)
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This new world is creepy, spooky and dangerous, but it's a whole lot nicer when you have a friend. Follow Wilson and Willow as they make friends with each other in the world of Don't Starve.
Bookmarked by SilentLizard
29 Jan 2018