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   Not a Mounted Dildo but a Fuck Machine by NaroMoreau, summerofspock

   Fandoms: Good Omens (TV)  

   • Explicit
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • M/M
   • Complete Work

   26 Jul 2021

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
   • Alternate Universe - Human
   • Roommates
   • Pandemic/Quarantine AU (but it's not super important or angsty I swear)
   • Idiots in Love
   • Internalized Homophobia
   • again not in an angsty way
   • Compulsory Heterosexuality
   • STILL NOT ANGSTY
   • Virgin Aziraphale (Good Omens)
   • Experienced Crowley (Good Omens)
   • Sexual Experimentation
   • NO HOMO TO THE EXTREME
   • Friends with Benefits
   • the thinnest amount of plot for the most porn
   • Mutual Masturbation
   • Porn Watching
   • Hand Jobs
   • Blow Jobs
   • Rimming
   • Dildos
   • Spitroasting
   • Anal Sex
   • Just the Tip
   • Facials
   • Nipple Play
   • Intercrural Sex
   • Moron 4 Moron
   • homoerotic? more like homie-rotic
   • Minor Crowley/Other
   • Minor aziraphale/other
   • Happy Ending
   • ok like a little bit of angst but not related to any homophobia i swear
   • Pining
   • its all about the repression
   • Jealousy
   • Comeplay
   • Wet & Messy
   • Barebacking
   • Creampie
   • Sloppy Seconds
   • We have been informed that maybe there is some plot
   • Angry Sex
   • Come Eating

   Summary

   Aziraphale and Crowley have lived together for three years when lockdown goes into effect. When Aziraphale meets a nice girl on Tinder who he thinks is his perfect match, he's delighted. There's just one hurdle: that pesky virginity thing. Lucky for him, Crowley has always been there for him. He's helped Aziraphale with every other problem through the years, why not this one?

   Series

   • Part 1 of NAMDBAFM

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   35,483

   Chapters:

   8/8

   Collections:

   15

   Comments:

   1,332

   Kudos:

   4,482

   Bookmarks:

   1,099

   Hits:

   94,176

   Bookmarked by SunandRainclouds

   31 Jan 2026