That_Vampire_Boi



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  1. Rec 13

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    “It’s past midnight,” Phil says. “So happy birthday.”

    “You’re a menace. If that was a birthday gift, it was pretty good. Really thought you wouldn’t stop for a moment there.”

    Phil leans down to kiss his lips, tender and warm.

    “I kind of thought about it,” he says quietly. “I mean, if you’re… feeling ready. We could make that your actual birthday gift.”

    For his birthday, Dan gets turned into a vampire. It shouldn't feel that good to die, but Dan is more than happy that it does.

    Series
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    12 Jun 2026

  2. Rec *

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    Ilya Rozanov is in love, closeted, catastrophically lonely, and apparently incapable of referring to Shane Hollander in present tense.

    The Centaurs come to a- given the circumstances- reasonable conclusion.

    Or:
    Five times the Centaurs thought Ilya Rozanov was mourning his dead wife, and the one time they discovered his wife was actually Shane Hollander.
    Shane, for the record, is alive and really confused.

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    11 Jun 2026

  3. Rec *

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    “If I gave Jackie a day of getting to have sex with me whenever she wants as a thank you for tidying the living room, I think she’d divorce me,” Hayden says.

    “Nah, man, she’d kill you,” J. J. says, which is probably true.

    Shane shrugs. “That sounds like a straight people problem.”

    Hayden is truly glad that the times of Shane torturing himself by being in the closet are over. But. Well. This conversation is kind of making him miss those days.

    ---

    Finally, after everything, Shane is a happily married man. Incredibly happily married. It only becomes a problem once he thinks it qualifies him to dispense relationship advice.

    Or, five times Shane gives relationship advice his friends disagree with, and one time he doesn’t.

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    08 Jun 2026

  4. Rec 18

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    Phil’s love for Dan swells so severely in a way that he is unclear as to how he can contain something so big. His adoration for him consumes him so much that he can feel his heart racing just thinking about it. His thoughts continue to blur in his head, and all he wants to do is hold him and keep him close.

    -

    title inspired by "moonlight" by ariana grande, dan is phil's moonlight

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    07 Jun 2026

  5. Rec *

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    Alternate Title: Shane Hollander: Stanley Cup Winner, Accidental Dog Sitter

    Shane: Is this Ilya Rozanov?
    Unknown number: no
    Shane: Oh, but the dog collar had this number.
    Unknown Number: What? What dog collar? What are you talking about?
    Shane: I'm Shane Hollander.
    Shane: I have your dog.
    Unknown Number: Is this ransom threat?
    Unknown Number: Did you kidnap my dog?

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    616
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    03 Jun 2026