TheQueenoftheAbyss
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I understand now by TheQueenoftheAbyss
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
21 Apr 2026
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He knew what that meant. Knew the tip of the scales past their delicate balance, from 'passive' to 'active'. He had never in his life felt this before, not this clearly, not so defined in his very being. Ilya had thought he had understood, before, what his mother had done and what had led her to it. He knew now, staring out through the glow of the house to the dark garden, that he had not.
~
Ilya begins to experience active suicidal ideation for the first time. When he crashes Shane helps, he always does, but Ilya is hiding behind lies, and Shane cannot save him from what he cannot see. And Ilya won't ever let him see this, not as long as he can help it.!This fic contains description of suicidal thoughts/ideation including suicidal planning and graphic descriptions of the aftermath of suicide!
Series
- Part 1 of To understand (and be understood)
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Slightly different Yet just the same by TheQueenoftheAbyss
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
20 Apr 2026
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Summary
“You like it here?” Rosanov asked after a few more moments of silence.
Shane looked over at him, but Rozanov was still facing away. “What, Saskatchewan?"
The Russian laughed, it was a bright and brilliant sound. “No, this place is shithole. Canada.”
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Shane Hollander spends five years of his life living in Japan, helping his Mother care for his sick Grandmother. It changes who he is, who he would have been, and shapes his life and career. Shane still finds hockey, he will in every universe, and where Shane Hollander plays hockey Ilya Rozanov is never far behind. -
Like a Brother. by TheQueenoftheAbyss
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
13 Mar 2026
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“Of course you’d defend the traitor fag-“
There was a distinct thud as Captain Hayden Pike’s fist connected with the underside of the chin of one of his own players.
Everything descended into chaos.
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Pike and Hollander have been ride or die since day one, no amount of decade long secrets or team transfers could change that.
That is an unfortunate fact for the Montreal Voyageurs. -
The bitter cold by TheQueenoftheAbyss
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
08 Jan 2026
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Summary
Shane Hollander is young, fit and healthy, he works out, he plays hockey, he eats a ridiculously healthy diet.
Shane Hollander dies on the ice at age 30.
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Shane’s body is cold. Ilya’s heart is cold. -
This Happens Sometimes by TheQueenoftheAbyss
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
04 Jan 2026
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“I’m fine- this happens sometimes.”
“It shouldn’t.”
“Well it does.” Shane raised his voice slightly, “It has for as long as I can remember.” He took a deep breath and reminded himself that he couldn’t be angry at Hayden right now, he was trying to help.
~Hayden Pike has Shane's back from day one, on and off the ice. That includes when Shane has one hell of a panic attack at an awards dinner.
Part one of an exploration of Shane's anxiety in his relationships with others.
Recent series
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To understand (and be understood) by TheQueenoftheAbyss
Fandom Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV)
21 Apr 2026
- Words:
- 9,285
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 14
Recent bookmarks
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Ilya: He should buy lottery tickets because he is the luckiest man on earth
Ilya: He should get on his knees and thank god everyday that he got to fuck you
Shane: Oh my God stop
Ilya: What? I do thatOr: The man who topped Shane in Mexico posts about his experience, Ilya contemplates murder, and the other queer NHL players get caught in the crossfire.
Series
- Part 7 of the secret society of stick handlers
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contingency plans by anincompletelist (soldouthaz)
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
18 Feb 2026
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Summary
Shane's eyes squeeze closed again. “We had reason to put rules in place. Protocol. If ever—if it got to a place where, if he was ever feeling like he might—"
Hayden’s body understands before his mind catches up. His blood runs cold for a second, stuck on the scrunch of Shane’s face, the clench of his fist, how desperate he’d been to see Rozanov—Ilya—just now. To make sure that he was okay. Here, in person.
Not hurt. Alive.
“Oh,” Hayden hears himself say distantly. “Oh, fuck, Shane.”
--
or, Ilya needs a place to go, and Hayden's happens to be the closest. It turns out to be a good thing.
Series
- Part 1 of all lights turned off can be turned on
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,339
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 470
- Kudos:
- 18,435
- Bookmarks:
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- Hits:
- 136,775
Bookmarked by TheQueenoftheAbyss
07 Mar 2026
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But it’s true. David Hollander is normal about hockey. He has a life outside it. He goes to work at the Treasury. He goes on long walks. He volunteers at animal shelters. He puzzles. Well—he works on puzzles? Ilya still is not sure how the verbs work there.
The point is: David Hollander built a life outside of hockey that was fulfilling—that remains fulfilling. This, in its roundabout way, and though Ilya could never admit it, saves Ilya’s life.
-x-
or, a treatise on grief, depression, and chronic suicidality -
icymi by anincompletelist (soldouthaz)
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
17 Feb 2026
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Summary
In late 2012 when Shane has a meltdown and frantically tells them to call Lily, for the first time Yuna’s ever witnessed, Shane is coaxed out of one of them instead of just suffering through until the exhaustion wins out instead—and all by some mysterious, apparently very well attuned to Shane, 'Lily'.
She hadn’t meant to see the number before she’d pressed it and fumbled the phone up to Shane’s ear. It was simply a byproduct of the situation, something Shane had asked for her to do.
…Memorizing it and then texting that number to thank Lily for their help was not something she’d been asked to do. But she worries so much about Shane, and Lily is a reassurance. Not a pry for details but the simple, verifiable confirmation: he’s okay.
Lily, on the other hand, very much enjoys being able to make oddly specific 'your mother' jokes to Shane much more often now. (And maybe the whole family piece of it, too.)
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everything you've wanted by livermoriumkid
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
12 Feb 2026
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Summary
“Shane,” Rose says gently. “I don’t think Eva is good for you.”
Shane sighs into his water glass. This again. You get one shoe thrown at you during an argument, and suddenly everyone thinks you’re being abused.
Or: Shane ends up dating Rose’s co-star rather than her, and soon finds himself in an abusive relationship. Ilya and Shane's friends need to put aside their differences in order to keep him safe.